I'm predicting I'll see at least two couches abandoned on the interstate on my impending journey.
Dear friends of ours a couple of years ago made the observation that a rule of law is that while undertaking Interstate travel, you will encounter at least one piece of abandoned furniture alongside the road.
That rule has pretty much proven true, our most recent nationwide travel included.
I'm further predicting that both couches will be in a state of poor repair,* both will be various shades of brown, and of a tapestry print that went out of home-decor vogue in the early 80s.
1/16/2004
hittin' the road
I'm just about to head over to Lexington South Carolina for a men's conference. Every time I say Lexington, I automatically say "Kentucky." I feel like Joey Tribiani who can't nail the "mmmm....soup" line (that was the quiz to which noone responded earlier).
I'll be driving an Avis-supplied Pontiac Vibe. It looks cooler than it runs. Once it gets started it sounds like Pontiac has engineered a Flinstonian contraption wherein a maraca-playing capuchin monkey wearing tiny tapdance shoes is contained in a small five-gallon metallic barrell, chasing a perpetually out-of-reach banana on a stick, which in turn drives the loosely-bound rubberbands wound around strategically positioned pair of oppositional Magic 8 Balls.
Will Bryan's Vibe break down when the monkey gets tired?
*all signs point to yes*
Will Bryan be resuced by roadside service?
*the future is cloudy*
Even though he's lost his vibe, will Bryan get his groove back?
*ask later*
the image above has been supplied for solely your entertainment. If you can't laugh at a monkey pulling a wagon, then you're either a member of PETA, an overly-sensitive evolutionist, or you just need to lighten up.
I'll be driving an Avis-supplied Pontiac Vibe. It looks cooler than it runs. Once it gets started it sounds like Pontiac has engineered a Flinstonian contraption wherein a maraca-playing capuchin monkey wearing tiny tapdance shoes is contained in a small five-gallon metallic barrell, chasing a perpetually out-of-reach banana on a stick, which in turn drives the loosely-bound rubberbands wound around strategically positioned pair of oppositional Magic 8 Balls.
Will Bryan's Vibe break down when the monkey gets tired?
*all signs point to yes*
Will Bryan be resuced by roadside service?
*the future is cloudy*
Even though he's lost his vibe, will Bryan get his groove back?
*ask later*
the image above has been supplied for solely your entertainment. If you can't laugh at a monkey pulling a wagon, then you're either a member of PETA, an overly-sensitive evolutionist, or you just need to lighten up.
1/15/2004
the media bites
I just watched the liberal propaganda that is the Channel 11 NBC newscast. And I pine for the days when Ron Burgundy was a newsman.
They spent several minutes talking about how "nobody wanted President Bush" here in Atlanta because numerous people of all races showed up to protest the president's visit to MLK's gravesite. The end of the newscast said, "more than a hundred people showed up to protest. One estimate was that up to seven hundred protestors took part."
Well, isn't that impressive? Even with a generous estimate, less than 1/5 of 1 percent of the Atlanta (proper) population shows up, behaves uncivilized, and that somehow becomes "Atlanta doesn't want him here."
Then, to top it off, the very next story continues to tell what else President Bush accomplished in his trip here. And in less than 30 seconds, they remark that 750 bipartisan supporters took part in a gathering that raised $2.3 million. There of course was no corollary statement that "Atlanta wanted him here," even though more showed up in support (or that, by extension, 99.85% of the rest of us were unoffended enough to not protest his visit). Instead, the lead female anchor (who, Ron Ferguson points out, have brains one-third the size of his own, "it's science.") summarizes the report with a smug, smarmy, condescending, pithy "Hm. Interesting."
They spent several minutes talking about how "nobody wanted President Bush" here in Atlanta because numerous people of all races showed up to protest the president's visit to MLK's gravesite. The end of the newscast said, "more than a hundred people showed up to protest. One estimate was that up to seven hundred protestors took part."
Well, isn't that impressive? Even with a generous estimate, less than 1/5 of 1 percent of the Atlanta (proper) population shows up, behaves uncivilized, and that somehow becomes "Atlanta doesn't want him here."
Then, to top it off, the very next story continues to tell what else President Bush accomplished in his trip here. And in less than 30 seconds, they remark that 750 bipartisan supporters took part in a gathering that raised $2.3 million. There of course was no corollary statement that "Atlanta wanted him here," even though more showed up in support (or that, by extension, 99.85% of the rest of us were unoffended enough to not protest his visit). Instead, the lead female anchor (who, Ron Ferguson points out, have brains one-third the size of his own, "it's science.") summarizes the report with a smug, smarmy, condescending, pithy "Hm. Interesting."
details at 11
The Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy trailer is now available online.
In Jen's question of who is funnier, Robin Williams or Steve Martin, my vote is definitely C: Will Ferrell
In Jen's question of who is funnier, Robin Williams or Steve Martin, my vote is definitely C: Will Ferrell
DTTV
The latest episode of Donald Trump Television has once again affirmed my total lack of faith in humanity. Decision makers chose sex over substance, ick over integrity. And Sam the Cockaroach has lived to disgust America another day.
I'm convinced that he's only around for the animosity factor. There's no way he'd make it to the end. But he will be around long enough to become the most despised personality in Reality TV.
One has to have ambitions, after all.
I'm convinced that he's only around for the animosity factor. There's no way he'd make it to the end. But he will be around long enough to become the most despised personality in Reality TV.
One has to have ambitions, after all.
ecclesiastical frustration
I'm searching for good quotes regarding church. They are hard to come by. What does that say about the condition of man?
this date in extended office meeting history
On 11:53 a.m. on January 15, 2004, toward the conclusion of a three-hour meeting, Bryan McAnally, editor, attempted to speak the word "edification" while thinking of the word "motivation." The result was the utterance of the newly-created abomination, "motivification."
The resulting cacophany destroyed all productivity as Mr. McAnally's credibility disintegrated in a chorus of chiding laughter.
The resulting cacophany destroyed all productivity as Mr. McAnally's credibility disintegrated in a chorus of chiding laughter.
sung to the tune of there were nine in the bed...
So they all rolled over and one fell off.
Cap'n Ed was my source of info that Carol "Even Al Gore Things I'm A Lefty Extremist" Mosely-Braun is finally conceding defeat. Her campaign, which by rough estimates ran long by only as many days as it existed, --saddled by debt, marked by questionable ethics, and defined antiwar rhetoric -- is throwing its less-than-considerable weight to Howard Dean. News of this endorsement thrilled both Deanies and Republicans alike.
Who's next? is the next big question. Kucinich appears to be stricken by an odd combination of "Little Man's Syndrome" and "Ross Perot Complex," and will stay until forcibly removed. Sharpton is ready to shout RACISM! at anyone who tries to usher him out the door. The Two-Headed Beast of Kerry & Gephard is doing everything it can to overtake the Two-Headed Beast of Dean & Clark. Lieberman is laying low, riding out the storm until he has better odds. And Edwards is discovering that Kennedy haircuts can only take you so far in this day and age.
So who's next? Not that I endorse wagering in any way shape or form, you can go here and see what the oddsmakers think (at the bottom of the page -- You know its bad when your odds aren't as good as a non-running participant).
Cap'n Ed was my source of info that Carol "Even Al Gore Things I'm A Lefty Extremist" Mosely-Braun is finally conceding defeat. Her campaign, which by rough estimates ran long by only as many days as it existed, --saddled by debt, marked by questionable ethics, and defined antiwar rhetoric -- is throwing its less-than-considerable weight to Howard Dean. News of this endorsement thrilled both Deanies and Republicans alike.
Who's next? is the next big question. Kucinich appears to be stricken by an odd combination of "Little Man's Syndrome" and "Ross Perot Complex," and will stay until forcibly removed. Sharpton is ready to shout RACISM! at anyone who tries to usher him out the door. The Two-Headed Beast of Kerry & Gephard is doing everything it can to overtake the Two-Headed Beast of Dean & Clark. Lieberman is laying low, riding out the storm until he has better odds. And Edwards is discovering that Kennedy haircuts can only take you so far in this day and age.
So who's next? Not that I endorse wagering in any way shape or form, you can go here and see what the oddsmakers think (at the bottom of the page -- You know its bad when your odds aren't as good as a non-running participant).
burger, fries, rootbeer float, and evidence that Jesus of Nazareth is the Messiah
Yes, I'm cleaning out my "blog ideas" folder...the stuff that really was important enough to save, but not able to overcome my short attention span for one reason or another. That fact should by no means prejudice you against the material that follows.
Here's a few links regarding an AW restaurant in Frisco, Colorado, that doubles as a Messianic Jewish outreach ministry. Corporate Wonks have tried to shut down the evangelism. The owners, who are NAMB partners through the Colorado Baptist General Convention, have complied with the letter of the law, but have resisted the efforts to be silenced. Atheists and Jewish people are upset.
I am bemused by the perception that people feel like they have the right to not be offended by the gospel message of Jesus Christ. People are offended that an AW sign is being used to tell people to rejoice in God. Nowhere is it mandated that an individual must abandon all personal faith to run a business. Not in America anyway. People are offended that they walked in looking for a cup of hot chocolate and instead were assaulted by the presence of Messianic Jewish literature in the facility. What, did you miss the 30' tall sign outside the building? Did the literature force itself to be read?
The ADL has taken an interesting position on this issue...on one hand requesting corporate intervention, and on the other passively acquiescing that no real offense has taken place, though they believe that "evangelism is a sin." I am so thankful for the Drebenstedts. They appear to share the heart of Paul, who himself so broken over the lostness of his countrymen that he lamented, "I tell the truth in Christ, I am not lying, my conscience also bearing me witness in the Holy Spirit, that I have great sorrow and continual grief in my heart" (Romans 9:1-2).
I've been in this AW a few times. The burgers are hot. The fries are crisp. And the Bread of Life is incredibly fulfilling.
Please pray for these folks and their ministry.
Here's a few links regarding an AW restaurant in Frisco, Colorado, that doubles as a Messianic Jewish outreach ministry. Corporate Wonks have tried to shut down the evangelism. The owners, who are NAMB partners through the Colorado Baptist General Convention, have complied with the letter of the law, but have resisted the efforts to be silenced. Atheists and Jewish people are upset.
I am bemused by the perception that people feel like they have the right to not be offended by the gospel message of Jesus Christ. People are offended that an AW sign is being used to tell people to rejoice in God. Nowhere is it mandated that an individual must abandon all personal faith to run a business. Not in America anyway. People are offended that they walked in looking for a cup of hot chocolate and instead were assaulted by the presence of Messianic Jewish literature in the facility. What, did you miss the 30' tall sign outside the building? Did the literature force itself to be read?
The ADL has taken an interesting position on this issue...on one hand requesting corporate intervention, and on the other passively acquiescing that no real offense has taken place, though they believe that "evangelism is a sin." I am so thankful for the Drebenstedts. They appear to share the heart of Paul, who himself so broken over the lostness of his countrymen that he lamented, "I tell the truth in Christ, I am not lying, my conscience also bearing me witness in the Holy Spirit, that I have great sorrow and continual grief in my heart" (Romans 9:1-2).
I've been in this AW a few times. The burgers are hot. The fries are crisp. And the Bread of Life is incredibly fulfilling.
Please pray for these folks and their ministry.
well, they were half-way there
Kyle showed me this site a while back and I never got around to posting it here. Here are a season's worth of animations created for the official Tampa Bay Buccaneers website, illustratively talking smack about their various opponents. I guess their intent was to scare all the techdorks of the opposing teams. While very entertaining, I think they might have been focused on the wrong aspect of the opposition.
At least they were able to talk the talk. Maybe they figured they walked enough of the walk last year.
At least they were able to talk the talk. Maybe they figured they walked enough of the walk last year.
ummm...no thanks
Inbox Canned Meat Product this morning included a first...an invitation to join the Klu Klux Klan. I didn't follow the link and I won't post it here. You'll have to go elsewhere to find Kool Krispy Kremes, thankyouverymuch.
I understand how Electronically-Delivered Canned Meat Product works, in that it banks on a .1 to 1 percent return on its investment, figuring it can in that group of respondents tap into a basic appeal whether it be lust, greed, or a desire for free cable television. I find it peculiar that the KKK is banking on arbitrarily locating folks with a latent hatred broiling under the veneer of their persona, just waiting to burst forth when the right invitation to join the party of malice and discontent comes along. I would think that this SPAM rates with the most likely to be considered offensive and worthy of strict punishment.
I understand how Electronically-Delivered Canned Meat Product works, in that it banks on a .1 to 1 percent return on its investment, figuring it can in that group of respondents tap into a basic appeal whether it be lust, greed, or a desire for free cable television. I find it peculiar that the KKK is banking on arbitrarily locating folks with a latent hatred broiling under the veneer of their persona, just waiting to burst forth when the right invitation to join the party of malice and discontent comes along. I would think that this SPAM rates with the most likely to be considered offensive and worthy of strict punishment.
1/14/2004
blog challenge #1
Here are the 100 most misspelled words in the English language.
The challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to write a story using all 100 of the words. Believe me, I'm not going to count, so just bold them in your contribution. Post your effort at your site and link to it in the comments.
My effort will arrive once someone else contributes, assuring me that this isn't another ill-conceived, hare-brained idea.
The challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to write a story using all 100 of the words. Believe me, I'm not going to count, so just bold them in your contribution. Post your effort at your site and link to it in the comments.
My effort will arrive once someone else contributes, assuring me that this isn't another ill-conceived, hare-brained idea.
discovery dogma
We just caught a nice little piece of humanistic Bible-bashing on the Discovery Channel.
They were airing "Ancient Evidence: David & Goliath." In it, they say that David is a liar, a cheat, a scoundrel, and a murderer. I'm cool with that. The Bible says that, too.
But they parted company with the Bible in several areas, discrediting virtually every accomplishment, and assigning him guilt where the Bible proclaims him to be innocent.
You would think to accomplish this, the "some scholars" to which the narrator (the dude who helmed the Deep Space Nine Cropduster) constantly referred would have to have found recent evidence that presented contradictory evidence to the biblical claims.
Not so. Their "ancient evidence" proving the guilt of David was...drumroll please...the Bible. These "scholars" confidently stated that the extraordinary lengths to which the Bible went in professing the innocence of David was irrefutable evidence of his obvious guilt. Why else, they would posit, was it necessary to go so overboard on his alibi and profound grief over the death of Saul and/or Absalom?
So, they summarized, David was a bad dude. But the very thing that may damage his biblical credibility was the very thing that kept him in power.
Ahhh...thank you for a totally humanized, sanitize-God-out-of-the-story of a real, flawed-but-redeemed hero of the faith, complete with the wrap-it-up-in-a-bow ending that smugly says nothing while at the same time thinking its saying something. I think I ought to sue the Discovery Channel for damages to an hour of my life that I'll never get back. I'd be willing to settle out of court, though, because at least the commercials had some value.
They were airing "Ancient Evidence: David & Goliath." In it, they say that David is a liar, a cheat, a scoundrel, and a murderer. I'm cool with that. The Bible says that, too.
But they parted company with the Bible in several areas, discrediting virtually every accomplishment, and assigning him guilt where the Bible proclaims him to be innocent.
You would think to accomplish this, the "some scholars" to which the narrator (the dude who helmed the Deep Space Nine Cropduster) constantly referred would have to have found recent evidence that presented contradictory evidence to the biblical claims.
Not so. Their "ancient evidence" proving the guilt of David was...drumroll please...the Bible. These "scholars" confidently stated that the extraordinary lengths to which the Bible went in professing the innocence of David was irrefutable evidence of his obvious guilt. Why else, they would posit, was it necessary to go so overboard on his alibi and profound grief over the death of Saul and/or Absalom?
So, they summarized, David was a bad dude. But the very thing that may damage his biblical credibility was the very thing that kept him in power.
Ahhh...thank you for a totally humanized, sanitize-God-out-of-the-story of a real, flawed-but-redeemed hero of the faith, complete with the wrap-it-up-in-a-bow ending that smugly says nothing while at the same time thinking its saying something. I think I ought to sue the Discovery Channel for damages to an hour of my life that I'll never get back. I'd be willing to settle out of court, though, because at least the commercials had some value.
paper or plastic
survey says....
The Evangelical Outpost has a great post on some bloggers who are lashing out against Barna's latest findings that 49 percent of ministers don't possess a biblical world view.
Rather than rehashing here, just go read the post.
I do have this to add...
I completely agree with the findings, as well as to the quashing of the opposition. I recognize that there is tremendous power in how the question is asked. It does not surprise me at all that barely a majority of "Christians" agree with these very gracious parameters of defining a biblical worldview:
--Absolute moral truths exist.
--Such truth is defined by the Bible;
--Jesus Christ lived a sinless life;
--God is the all-powerful and all-knowing Creator of the universe and He stills rules it today;
--Salvation is a gift from God and cannot be earned;
--Satan is real;
--A Christian has a responsibility to share their faith in Christ with other people;
--The Bible is accurate in all of its teachings.
If Barna were to have toughened up the language even a little bit, the biblical world view would no doubt be in the minority (my more stringent criteria in italics):
--Moral truth is absolute, there is no relative truth.
--The Bible defines all moral truth;
--Jesus Christ was born by the conception of the Holy Spirit to a virgin mother and lived a sinless life;
--God is the all-powerful and all-knowing.
--He alone is Creator of the universe and He actively & interactively rules it today;
--Salvation is the literal and eternal restoration of man back to God whereby man obtains entrance to heaven, It is a grace gift from God and cannot be earned;
--Satan is real; yet he is not the antithesis of God in that he is limited in his power, knowledge, and presence;
--A Christian has a responsibility, obligation, and privilege to share their faith in Christ with other people;
--The Bible is accurate (without error) in all of its teachings.
If this were the litmus test, many who had previously agreed would no doubt demit. I understand that these, as were Barna's standards, would be labeled as "a particular brand" of Christianity, falsely implying an extremist subset of the faith. And I concur that an even larger minority of believers hold these things to be the manifestos of their faith.
However, my stand is simple. If "fundamentalist" means taking God at His Word, that's where I have pitched my tent. I wholly believe that there will come a day when God will examine me, as by fire. And when that happens, this conversation won't:
My point is simple: In the end, Jesus gets to define "biblical world view." Just as in the past, there will be many who disagree with His assessment. Regardless, He has final say. And for those he determines to have a faulty world view, the consequence is severe.
Rather than rehashing here, just go read the post.
I do have this to add...
I completely agree with the findings, as well as to the quashing of the opposition. I recognize that there is tremendous power in how the question is asked. It does not surprise me at all that barely a majority of "Christians" agree with these very gracious parameters of defining a biblical worldview:
--Absolute moral truths exist.
--Such truth is defined by the Bible;
--Jesus Christ lived a sinless life;
--God is the all-powerful and all-knowing Creator of the universe and He stills rules it today;
--Salvation is a gift from God and cannot be earned;
--Satan is real;
--A Christian has a responsibility to share their faith in Christ with other people;
--The Bible is accurate in all of its teachings.
If Barna were to have toughened up the language even a little bit, the biblical world view would no doubt be in the minority (my more stringent criteria in italics):
--Moral truth is absolute, there is no relative truth.
--The Bible defines all moral truth;
--Jesus Christ was born by the conception of the Holy Spirit to a virgin mother and lived a sinless life;
--God is the all-powerful and all-knowing.
--He alone is Creator of the universe and He actively & interactively rules it today;
--Salvation is the literal and eternal restoration of man back to God whereby man obtains entrance to heaven, It is a grace gift from God and cannot be earned;
--Satan is real; yet he is not the antithesis of God in that he is limited in his power, knowledge, and presence;
--A Christian has a responsibility, obligation, and privilege to share their faith in Christ with other people;
--The Bible is accurate (without error) in all of its teachings.
If this were the litmus test, many who had previously agreed would no doubt demit. I understand that these, as were Barna's standards, would be labeled as "a particular brand" of Christianity, falsely implying an extremist subset of the faith. And I concur that an even larger minority of believers hold these things to be the manifestos of their faith.
However, my stand is simple. If "fundamentalist" means taking God at His Word, that's where I have pitched my tent. I wholly believe that there will come a day when God will examine me, as by fire. And when that happens, this conversation won't:
God: Didn't you read where I said...
Me: Of course I did, but I didn't think you meant it.
God: Why would you have thought that?
Me: I thought you were going for a more symbolic idea...you know, not so literal.
God: Really?
Me: Don't look so incredulous. You have to admit, a lot of that stuff didn't make sense. It was pretty close-minded, doncha think?
God: You know, you're right. I can't believe I never saw it that way before...I sure appreciate you giving me a new perspective!
Me: Hey, always glad to help out. You don't mind if I sit in that big throne, do you? It seems like I've been standing in line for *an eternity!*
My point is simple: In the end, Jesus gets to define "biblical world view." Just as in the past, there will be many who disagree with His assessment. Regardless, He has final say. And for those he determines to have a faulty world view, the consequence is severe.
oh hurl
In responding to a request by Kyle to write a feature for his mag, I created what may be the most horrendous, convoluted, ungraceful sentence ever:
In response to its moans of agony, this statement has been euthanized; put down in the name of mercy.
In response to its moans of agony, this statement has been euthanized; put down in the name of mercy.
buhbye brogblog
Though I've taken Kyle from the blogroll, due to his resignation from blogging, his wonderful bride continues. I wanted to give her every opportunity to break the news, but my immature lack of patience overtook that noble intent. So, with Kyle's permission, I sadly announce that the Brogblog family will soon be relocating to Mississippi, as he has accepted a new ministry opportunity as a director of communications for a medical missions agency.
We are sad for us, but extremely happy for them. Please pray for them in the weeks ahead as they walk by faith in this exciting adventure. The temporal life knows no greater joy than stepping confidently into the grace, wisdom, and provision of God for the purpose of being used to glorify Him with the fabric of one's life. We pray that the Lord blesses this dear family with an abundance of earthly and spiritual blessings as they seek His will and obey the call.
We are sad for us, but extremely happy for them. Please pray for them in the weeks ahead as they walk by faith in this exciting adventure. The temporal life knows no greater joy than stepping confidently into the grace, wisdom, and provision of God for the purpose of being used to glorify Him with the fabric of one's life. We pray that the Lord blesses this dear family with an abundance of earthly and spiritual blessings as they seek His will and obey the call.
give him a hand for 'i saw the light'
Matt shares about a recent conversation with a friend, Al. A visit to Al's site reveals Al to be a gifted musician, particularly with the human hand as well as the common hand saw. Turn up the speakers loud to hear rousing renditions of Jesus Loves Me and Amazing Grace, respectively.
a hero returns
One of our staff returned this week after 11 months serving in Iraq. He spoke humbly at an informal reception in his honor, sharing understated tales of perils they faced, attacks withstood, victories accomplished, and peace restored.
He is a man who loves all people, loves his country, and loves the Lord. I am proud and thankful we have brave soldiers such as he in our military.
He is a man who loves all people, loves his country, and loves the Lord. I am proud and thankful we have brave soldiers such as he in our military.
you have much to learn, grasshopper
I don't know if this is real or not, but it is funny (via email):
shrinkage
Ricky at NGD alerts us to the news that the Indian python isn't as big as it was claimed to be.
It never is, is it? It never is.
Rumors that the reptile had recently been swimming in a nearby cool water swimming pool have not been confirmed.
The snake's handler gave an expected explanation:
They never do, do they? They never do.
Even so, I'd not be eager to meet up with this bad boy, especially if he had an appetite.
If that opinion makes me an ophiciophobe, so be it.
I'll live with the repercussion.
It never is, is it? It never is.
Rumors that the reptile had recently been swimming in a nearby cool water swimming pool have not been confirmed.
The snake's handler gave an expected explanation:
They never do, do they? They never do.
Even so, I'd not be eager to meet up with this bad boy, especially if he had an appetite.
If that opinion makes me an ophiciophobe, so be it.
I'll live with the repercussion.
what's my problem
I just used the word "disseminated" in an email to a colleague, in the proper context. For some reason, though, I felt like it was completely inappropriate, and that in good taste, I should have chosen something less icky.
Checking the definition made me even more certain of myself, given the etymology.
Then I saw its common root with the word "seminary."
This discovery has put me in a surprisingly and unusually blue mood.
Checking the definition made me even more certain of myself, given the etymology.
Then I saw its common root with the word "seminary."
This discovery has put me in a surprisingly and unusually blue mood.
1/13/2004
is this what the bible means by "understanding in your own tongue?"
I don't care who you are...this is cool:
what's black and white and red all over?
John Gray with a nose bleed.
Thisdoctor guy is responsible for "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus," making millions of dollars for the enlightening revelation that men and women are different.
His epiphany has spawned a bevy of progeny, some satirical, some disagreeing, some nonsensical.
Including:
The reality is women are from Earth. Men are from Earth. Some of us men come from Man Town, and others come from the Antique District. Some of the women come from Barbieville, others come from Plaid Flannel and Beyond.
Men and women are different.
Men and women are the same.
But mostly, they're different.
Now get over it.
This
His epiphany has spawned a bevy of progeny, some satirical, some disagreeing, some nonsensical.
Including:
Other different points of origin for men & women
Men=GM, Women=Ford
Men=Lockerrooms, Women=Luxury Boxes
Men=X, Women=Y
I once heard a deep thinker profoundly mutter, "Women are from Venus, Men are from Whatever You Do Is Wrong."
The reality is women are from Earth. Men are from Earth. Some of us men come from Man Town, and others come from the Antique District. Some of the women come from Barbieville, others come from Plaid Flannel and Beyond.
Men and women are different.
Men and women are the same.
But mostly, they're different.
Now get over it.
between a rock and a hard place
Tony shows off his big brain by answering le renard's classic conundrum, posed by a student.
a loss of innocence
A couple of nights ago, we were watching the news, and there was coverage of the Democrats attacks on President Bush. Kaylyn watched for a moment, suddenly making a connection.
She: Daddy...
Me: Yes dear?
She: Are these people saying that President Bush isn't doing a good job?
Me: Yes, that's what they're saying.
She: Why are they saying that?
Me: Because they want to have his job. And the way to get his job is to try to convince people that he isn't doing the job well.
She: That's mean.
Me: Well, some of it is mean. He's just doing the job differently than they would. And we get to pick who we think will do it better.
She: Well, *I* think President Bush is doing a great job, even though I really don't know what a President does...
She: Daddy...
Me: Yes dear?
She: Are these people saying that President Bush isn't doing a good job?
Me: Yes, that's what they're saying.
She: Why are they saying that?
Me: Because they want to have his job. And the way to get his job is to try to convince people that he isn't doing the job well.
She: That's mean.
Me: Well, some of it is mean. He's just doing the job differently than they would. And we get to pick who we think will do it better.
She: Well, *I* think President Bush is doing a great job, even though I really don't know what a President does...
blogidolatry
Living Room is starting up a Blogger Idol "experience." It will be slightly competitive in nature, but not so much as the King of the Blogs competition. I'm looking forward to it. This, like others, are fun and challenging to me as a writer.
happy for a friend
Okay, all politics aside...and I really have to do that for this post....
I have to say that I'm extremely proud of an old friend.*
I recently posted on the finalists of the MoveOn.org competition, but didn't even realize that one of the finalists was a longtime friend of mine. Tonight I've discovered that my friend, Angel, is part of the creative team that won the award for Best Youth Ad.
We've known each other since we were both five, and we've disagreed on just about everything for about the past 10 or so years, except on the opinion that I'm a fabulous friend and a snappy dresser.
But this isn't about me...it's about my friend. In fact, in an unprecedented expression of my largesse, I present the unedited press release of the accomplishment:
Ange, I'm very proud of you, and I look forward to the day when you use your powers for good instead of evil!!
*The term "old friend" is not intended to imply that she is in fact old. I am actually perpetually 10 days older and wiser. The adjective "old" instead is a descriptor of the duration of our friendship. I apologize for any confusion this may have caused. Old friend.
I have to say that I'm extremely proud of an old friend.*
I recently posted on the finalists of the MoveOn.org competition, but didn't even realize that one of the finalists was a longtime friend of mine. Tonight I've discovered that my friend, Angel, is part of the creative team that won the award for Best Youth Ad.
We've known each other since we were both five, and we've disagreed on just about everything for about the past 10 or so years, except on the opinion that I'm a fabulous friend and a snappy dresser.
But this isn't about me...it's about my friend. In fact, in an unprecedented expression of my largesse, I present the unedited press release of the accomplishment:
Ange, I'm very proud of you, and I look forward to the day when you use your powers for good instead of evil!!
*The term "old friend" is not intended to imply that she is in fact old. I am actually perpetually 10 days older and wiser. The adjective "old" instead is a descriptor of the duration of our friendship. I apologize for any confusion this may have caused. Old friend.
1/12/2004
dean's school of theology, chapter III
I don't mean to keep beating a dead ass, but Demmy Dean keeps belaboring the issue.
Make no mistake about it. This is not a political issue...this is a spiritual issue.
Think I'm crazy? It's okay, you're probably not alone....
So Dean is the like the young lawyer (except that he's a middle-aged physician/politician)....eager to give Bin Laden the benefit of the doubt and consider his innocence, but cocksure that his own countryman is not his neighbor, unable to speak about him with any grace -- and willing to bully aging gentlemen who can.
Make no mistake about it. This is not a political issue...this is a spiritual issue.
Think I'm crazy? It's okay, you're probably not alone....
So Dean is the like the young lawyer (except that he's a middle-aged physician/politician)....eager to give Bin Laden the benefit of the doubt and consider his innocence, but cocksure that his own countryman is not his neighbor, unable to speak about him with any grace -- and willing to bully aging gentlemen who can.
am i the only one #1
Am I the only person who thinks they shouldn't call the candy M& Ms, unless you find them in pairs? The correct name should be Ms (Ems, not Miss)
be it resolved
Now that I can take a minute from the phone, and having finished a healthy lunch consisting of a cup of reheated coffee and a handful of M&Ms, I pause before an afternoon of meetings to give you Mikey's latest:
stop drop & roll
Nothing like coming in to the office to a bevy of brush fires that need extinguishing! Despite plans to be writing, I'll be investing most my AM time on the phone today.
The title of this post reminded me of a church sign we saw not long ago driving through the hills of North Georgia, where there is a Baptist Church seemingly tucked away every 500 yards or so, with a cemetary in the front lawn and a large sign with a kitschy saying plastered upon it. This one read
What does that mean? And from a pure marketing standpoint (not that I am an advocate of church "marketing" per se), who's the intended demographic audience for this advertisent? Pyrophobics? We've already got enough people who gravitate toward the things of God simply because of the latent "fire insurance" promises of Scripture, rather than actual brokenness and repentance over their own spiritual shortcomings.
The title of this post reminded me of a church sign we saw not long ago driving through the hills of North Georgia, where there is a Baptist Church seemingly tucked away every 500 yards or so, with a cemetary in the front lawn and a large sign with a kitschy saying plastered upon it. This one read
What does that mean? And from a pure marketing standpoint (not that I am an advocate of church "marketing" per se), who's the intended demographic audience for this advertisent? Pyrophobics? We've already got enough people who gravitate toward the things of God simply because of the latent "fire insurance" promises of Scripture, rather than actual brokenness and repentance over their own spiritual shortcomings.
signs of the impending apocalypse #44
I haven't had one of these posts in quite some time, and had actually resigned the assignment over to Kyle, but he's since left the blog game, so I'm picking up the ball and running with it.
literally.
Let me begin by apologizing in advance to my more sensitive readers, but this story is so ridiculous, so insipid, so disconcerting that it demands a chastisement.
Here, on the Jan 6 Furthermore story from Wired.com, there's the troubling news of the guy who invested half a million bones to make prosthetic canine testicles. Read this, if you can believe it:
I don't mean to correct you, Mr. Miller. It's not a male thing, it's an idiot thing. I can't argue with your rationale if you "lost yours," but I think you're wrong to be "marking your territory" by assuming your train of logic has a stop at the AKC Kennel Club. Although that crazy Pet Psychic lady might attempt to prove me wrong, I'm quite confident that no dog, water buffalo, or especially rat possesses the intellectual, emotional, or developmental acumen to pine away at the thought of the loss of his, well, you know....stones.
I just think of all the money that's being wasted here, and it frustrates me. We can't feed kids in Africa, or even in our own cities. We can't fund adoption centers. We can't provide job training to unwed mothers or juvenile offenders. But somehow, some guy has saw it fit to allocate $500,000 to this cause, and now more people than he can keep up with want to spend hundreds of dollars to give their pets prosthetic cajones, as though having a neutered pet is PETA-riffic, but somehow damaging to one's social image at the same time.
This unfortunate story reminds me of the far side cartoon where the dog is in the back of the pickup bragging to his canine buddies, "Hey, I'm off to the vet to get tutored!" And I close with the wisdom of Paul Harvey, who actually said this.
literally.
Let me begin by apologizing in advance to my more sensitive readers, but this story is so ridiculous, so insipid, so disconcerting that it demands a chastisement.
Here, on the Jan 6 Furthermore story from Wired.com, there's the troubling news of the guy who invested half a million bones to make prosthetic canine testicles. Read this, if you can believe it:
I don't mean to correct you, Mr. Miller. It's not a male thing, it's an idiot thing. I can't argue with your rationale if you "lost yours," but I think you're wrong to be "marking your territory" by assuming your train of logic has a stop at the AKC Kennel Club. Although that crazy Pet Psychic lady might attempt to prove me wrong, I'm quite confident that no dog, water buffalo, or especially rat possesses the intellectual, emotional, or developmental acumen to pine away at the thought of the loss of his, well, you know....stones.
I just think of all the money that's being wasted here, and it frustrates me. We can't feed kids in Africa, or even in our own cities. We can't fund adoption centers. We can't provide job training to unwed mothers or juvenile offenders. But somehow, some guy has saw it fit to allocate $500,000 to this cause, and now more people than he can keep up with want to spend hundreds of dollars to give their pets prosthetic cajones, as though having a neutered pet is PETA-riffic, but somehow damaging to one's social image at the same time.
This unfortunate story reminds me of the far side cartoon where the dog is in the back of the pickup bragging to his canine buddies, "Hey, I'm off to the vet to get tutored!" And I close with the wisdom of Paul Harvey, who actually said this.
1/11/2004
sung to the tune of beep beep
I've posted over at Jen's important news about an important vehicle recall. You better make sure you're covered.
happy new year
this is so cool it might make you puke....a completely panoramic view(QT required) of Times Square, New Year's Eve 2003.
sometimes a potato is just a potato
A nice (what I hope is) satirical site regarding "Jesus in the X" (where 'X' represents any variable of produce, natural land formation, or any other inanimate object and 'Jesus' is a prototypical, stereotypical image of the Savior, shaped from Euro-centric symbolic representations through history).
For your entertainment/deep theological consideration, here are a couple of examples:
The Weeping Jesus Rock of Lynchburg, Virginia
The Jesus Tree of Riverwest Milwaulkee, Wisconsin
and the Jesus clouds and Jesus hazelnut, found at this gallery (follow the link to catch the photo of the praying squirrel, bathed in sunlight)
For your entertainment/deep theological consideration, here are a couple of examples:
The Weeping Jesus Rock of Lynchburg, Virginia
The Jesus Tree of Riverwest Milwaulkee, Wisconsin
and the Jesus clouds and Jesus hazelnut, found at this gallery (follow the link to catch the photo of the praying squirrel, bathed in sunlight)
i'm lovin' it!
For some reason, despite the hiphop flava of the new McDonald's slogan, apparently taken from Justin Timberlake's song of the same name, my mind's ear hears it less in a "fiddy" way than it does is an effiminate "Jim J."way. You know, more of a vibe Cosmos Kramer than Justin Timberlake.
Anyway, here's the 2003 rankings of American Brandstand, the heirarchical list of commercial brand references in pop music. Confessionally, I'm about as "hip" or "with it" as Eugene Levy, but even I know that this is probably a list that companies want to find their names, inasmuch as it represents an immeasurable volume of free advertising and increased sales.
Link via Ultimate Insult
Anyway, here's the 2003 rankings of American Brandstand, the heirarchical list of commercial brand references in pop music. Confessionally, I'm about as "hip" or "with it" as Eugene Levy, but even I know that this is probably a list that companies want to find their names, inasmuch as it represents an immeasurable volume of free advertising and increased sales.
Link via Ultimate Insult
search me
I added the google search utility, which allows you to google search specifically at my site, since that was one reason I lost the King of the Blogs contest, and because it will make it easier for grandparents to find stories of the kiddos, for wisdom seekers to find the proverbs, and for me to find my own internal permalinks.
I'm still playing with it, so be patient about the color scheme. I just threw in some values to get the thing coded.
I'm still playing with it, so be patient about the color scheme. I just threw in some values to get the thing coded.
paging seymour buttz
Tony, I meant to tell you this earlier....
....you know that phone call you got on Friday...
....the wrong number....
....asking for Troy Rosencutter?
Yeah. That was me.
You see, I put your cell # in my list when I went on vacation, with every intention of making contact with you. Then family time filled everything up.
Then, on my way home Friday, I thought I'd try to get in touch with my high school friend, Troy Rosencutter. I paged through my # list and found "T Rosen" and hit dial.
"This is Tony?"
Why is someone named Tony answering Troy's phone? I thought to myself. Of course, as you know, I hung up thinking that Troy must have changed his number or something along those lines.
I didn't figure it out until I got home, when I saw I had "T Rosen" on the end of one page, and "T Rosencutter" on the start of the next. I almost called you back to explain myself, but remembered your "call after 9 request."
So I didn't call.
But I was the one looking for Troy.
Sorry about that.
I'm an idiot.
....you know that phone call you got on Friday...
....the wrong number....
....asking for Troy Rosencutter?
Yeah. That was me.
You see, I put your cell # in my list when I went on vacation, with every intention of making contact with you. Then family time filled everything up.
Then, on my way home Friday, I thought I'd try to get in touch with my high school friend, Troy Rosencutter. I paged through my # list and found "T Rosen" and hit dial.
"This is Tony?"
Why is someone named Tony answering Troy's phone? I thought to myself. Of course, as you know, I hung up thinking that Troy must have changed his number or something along those lines.
I didn't figure it out until I got home, when I saw I had "T Rosen" on the end of one page, and "T Rosencutter" on the start of the next. I almost called you back to explain myself, but remembered your "call after 9 request."
So I didn't call.
But I was the one looking for Troy.
Sorry about that.
I'm an idiot.
could i "b" more nonlinear?
I'm going to do this.
The fontifier will take my handwriting and create a TTF font out of it....plus learn how to forge my signature and bleed dryall both my meager financial accounts.
But at least I'll have a TTF font of my handwriting.
People say I write like a girl.
And I do.
It stems from years of copying my mother's signature, for oft-used tardy and absentee notes.
My Junior year in high school, I made a concientious decision to redesign the "B" in my signature. Originally, it had a little left-pointing flag on the stem. Now, my "B" is a flagless, leaning-slightly-to-the-right, swooping fish-hooky dynamo of a capital letter. I knew I was on the right track when I actually had a friend walk by my desk, see a notebook page filled with these "B's" and say, "Cool B."
Coincidentally, one of my nicknames growing up was "B."
Others included "Mac," "Big Mac," "Smack," "Byron," "Bry," "Huge Euge," "Manac," "Guido," and "Toes."
Yeah, some stories are better left untold.
The fontifier will take my handwriting and create a TTF font out of it....plus learn how to forge my signature and bleed dry
But at least I'll have a TTF font of my handwriting.
People say I write like a girl.
And I do.
It stems from years of copying my mother's signature, for oft-used tardy and absentee notes.
My Junior year in high school, I made a concientious decision to redesign the "B" in my signature. Originally, it had a little left-pointing flag on the stem. Now, my "B" is a flagless, leaning-slightly-to-the-right, swooping fish-hooky dynamo of a capital letter. I knew I was on the right track when I actually had a friend walk by my desk, see a notebook page filled with these "B's" and say, "Cool B."
Coincidentally, one of my nicknames growing up was "B."
Others included "Mac," "Big Mac," "Smack," "Byron," "Bry," "Huge Euge," "Manac," "Guido," and "Toes."
Yeah, some stories are better left untold.
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