it's early saturday. i'm off to the mall of Georgia, where Kyle will pick me up (not literally) and together we will travel to Mabel White Baptist Church for a state Baptist Men's conference. Sean's already there -- went last night.
I'm looking forward to hearing the story behind Mabel White.
8/15/2003
two gems from Kaylyn
On the car stereo
Kaylyn: So just who is she anyway?
and reading a pop-up book on marine life with Cotter.
Kaylyn: Cotter, look at the testicles on that octopus!
Me: Uh, Kaylyn, that's tentacles.
Kaylyn: Tentacles. oh yeah. right. tentacles.
she'll be comin 'round the mountain when she comes
she'll be comin 'round the mountain when she comes
she'll be ridin' six white horses
she'll be ridin' six white horses
she'll be ridin' six white horses when she comes
Kaylyn: So just who is she anyway?
and reading a pop-up book on marine life with Cotter.
Kaylyn: Cotter, look at the testicles on that octopus!
Me: Uh, Kaylyn, that's tentacles.
Kaylyn: Tentacles. oh yeah. right. tentacles.
total recall
while I'm certain a shaved monkey could do a better job than Gray Davis, I'm not certain Arnold is the best choice for CA conservatives (I'm looking forward to the nonstop publicity he'll garner, both positive and negative).
Until then, I have to thank Presurfer for this link to an Arnuld publicity flash presentation.
Until then, I have to thank Presurfer for this link to an Arnuld publicity flash presentation.
correction
as I often do not edit when I type, I was alerted of a typo in my theo/blog from earlier today. rather than call attention to it specifically, I'll just announce that if you noticed it too, it's been fixed.
more musical re-classics
from Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
The End of the Road
and
Leaving on a Jet Plane
and
Wild World
rock on!
The End of the Road
and
Leaving on a Jet Plane
and
Wild World
rock on!
office humor situations 1 & 2
a phone call from Kyle: Can you come in here and tell me I'm a moron?
an email from Sean: Outlook keeps trying to make me change 'sweety' to 'sweaty.'
ahh...it's the simple pleasures that make life grand.
an email from Sean: Outlook keeps trying to make me change 'sweety' to 'sweaty.'
ahh...it's the simple pleasures that make life grand.
sung to the tune of my God is so big
a recent visit to the ragamuffin minister led me to comment on his entry on the omnipotence/omniscience of God (no permalink -- dated 8/12 under Heresy 101). And I mentioned in those comments that he inspired me to comment further on my own blog (which, confessionally, is partially motivated by the fact that if I'm going to be typing extensively, i'd rather do it here than anywhere else). So here's my attempt at being inspired.
The question of God making a rock too big for His own strength is one that has seemed to exhaust and frustrate and amuse many (depending on your notion of God and relationship to Him, I suppose). But what is really interesting as you delve into the issue (and you'll have to read the linked thread above to get to this logical point), is whether or not Jesus was actually able to be tempted, and whether or not that has any ramifications on us.
The Bible contains two primary passages pertaining to His temptation. First, of course is the passage where Jesus is tempted by Satan in the forty days in the desert, found in Matthew 4. The Bible records that He was thrice tempted by, and was thrice able to rebut the enemy. Many want to consider this a parable, or hyperbole, or in some other way water it down. But there is nothing in the text that allows us such liberty. Maybe we want to do this because we have such a hard time wrapping our wee little minds around such a literal presentation of temptation. When we get tempted it never seems so direct and extreme. Our temptations are little compared to the the offers of the Adversary to Jesus, and Jesus seems to easily deny and put down the Tempter (which we don't seem to be so adept at accomplishing). So, our natural way of reconciling these two irreconcilables is to (mistakenly) attribute the Christ's success to His inability to be fully tempted.
All one needs to do is look at the text to see this. First, the Bible says that the Spirit led Jesus to the desert...to be tempted. Wha?Hoodat?Excuse me? This statement is soooo easy to skim right over, but you're better off if you park there for a sec. Jesus was led there. By the Spirit. To be tempted. He didn't go on His own initiative, but in the obedient following of the Holy Spirit's leading. This reveals that Jesus, though fully God, was fully man. He willingly submitted Himself to follow the leadership of the Spirit. He complied with the will of the Father. And the Father's will was that the Son would be tempted. Now it doesn't make any sense logically, or theologically, to assume the Father would expect the Son to go be tempted if the Tempter really couldn't tempt the Tempted One, right? What would that prove. Absolutely nothin'...say it again...
sorry...lost my train of thought. Anyway. God ordained for the Son to be tempted for a couple of very important reasons which we'll get to later. But until then, notice this (verse 2&3): Jesus had been fasting for 40 days and was hungry. Only then did Satan come to Him. Satan was only able to approach Jesus when His flesh was in a weakened state. Satan knew he couldn't overcome the Son in any other circumstance, because He possesses the very Spirit of the Living God. Satan's only hope was to attack when Christ's humanity was weakened. And when he first tempted Jesus, he tempted Him in His weakest area -- His belly. And when that didn't work, Satan tried to do a two-for-one Temptation Combo ("throw yourself down" -- tempting the body...."and have the angels catch you"....tempting the spirit). When that one fizzled, he took his best shot and tried to offer Jesus the best thing in his goodie bag, lordship over creation. But notice that not only was Satan's best unfavorably compared to a dirty snot rag as far as Jesus was concerned, but if Jesus had accepted the temptation of His Spirit, it would have come at the expense of His preordained suffering of the Flesh. And that was the real temptation that He turned back.
So was Jesus really tempted? you betcha. And how did He deny it? Well, we better pay attention. He did it by the Word of God alone.
Did you catch that?
alone. He didn't do it in concert with mama's encouragement, or from advice from Dr. Phil & Oprah. He didn't turn the enemy away with His own opinion. He did it by resting, trusting, relying wholly and solely upon the Word of God. He denied the temptation of eternity by faith.
This was no small feat. He, by faith, held on to the expectation that the suffering He would have to endure would be more satisfying to the world than Once Stone TM Bread would be to his starvin' tummy. He by faith believed that His humiliation and resurrection would be more incredible and convincing than being caught by the Flying Wallendas, Cherubim Chapter. By faith, Jesus was counting on the Father's promise of Lordship (see Psalm 2) more reliable than the Accuser's.
So Jesus was tempted. And it took a lot out of Him. But He overcame. Which gets us to the question of "why?"
what was accomplished?
The book of Hebrews fills us in.
Hebrews 2:18 says that He was tempted so He could help us who are tempted (and trust me, that is the correct usage of grammar).
Hebrews 4:15 says that He was tempted in all ways, but was without sin.
Take these in reverse, for the purpose of my presentation. First off, we see that He was tempted and didn't sin, so we can trust in a God who is an Overcomer. We see by His victory that He is mightier than the Tempter. We see His victory, and we can have our faith, our hope, our strength, buoyed and augmented by it. It's also important to understand that as the Overcomer, He is the only High Priest Worthy to make the Sin Offering before the Father (which, interestingly, is Himself). Then, we see that not only was He able to overcome, but He also fulfilled the purpose of being able to identify with us. He has been tempted in mind, body, and spirit. He can appreciate when you lust, you hate, you envy, you...whatever. Because He's been there, and He's familiar with the greedy fingers of temptation that try to steal your soul as they feed your flesh. And because He's beeen there and Overcame, His Holy Spirit can minister to your weaknesses and lead you through it.
This all illustrates that God is perfectly comfortable using everything, include His Own Son, to bring glory to Himself. He ordained to have His Son be tested by the temptation of the enemy so that through the Son's victory, the Father would receive Glory. God will ordain for you to be tested by the temptation of the enemy, so that He will receive glory for it.
Now, people will naturally want to argue, "if God ordains tempting, that means God is tempting..." I'll lovingly tell those people...they're more wrong than the wrongest Wrong Wrongerton serving as the Chairman of the board of Wrong in Wronggerton, Wrongslyvania. And I'll point them to James chapter 1, where the half brother of Jesus refutes better than could I.
To wrap this little expo up, I will offer this caveat: i don't believe God can be tempted. Not now. Not the Father, the Son, nor the Holy Spirit. I believe that evil flees from their very presence. But for a thirtyish-year window of time approximately 20 centuries ago, The Son stepped into man's skin and allowed Himself to face the worst, so that we could one day see the Best.
The question of God making a rock too big for His own strength is one that has seemed to exhaust and frustrate and amuse many (depending on your notion of God and relationship to Him, I suppose). But what is really interesting as you delve into the issue (and you'll have to read the linked thread above to get to this logical point), is whether or not Jesus was actually able to be tempted, and whether or not that has any ramifications on us.
The Bible contains two primary passages pertaining to His temptation. First, of course is the passage where Jesus is tempted by Satan in the forty days in the desert, found in Matthew 4. The Bible records that He was thrice tempted by, and was thrice able to rebut the enemy. Many want to consider this a parable, or hyperbole, or in some other way water it down. But there is nothing in the text that allows us such liberty. Maybe we want to do this because we have such a hard time wrapping our wee little minds around such a literal presentation of temptation. When we get tempted it never seems so direct and extreme. Our temptations are little compared to the the offers of the Adversary to Jesus, and Jesus seems to easily deny and put down the Tempter (which we don't seem to be so adept at accomplishing). So, our natural way of reconciling these two irreconcilables is to (mistakenly) attribute the Christ's success to His inability to be fully tempted.
All one needs to do is look at the text to see this. First, the Bible says that the Spirit led Jesus to the desert...to be tempted. Wha?Hoodat?Excuse me? This statement is soooo easy to skim right over, but you're better off if you park there for a sec. Jesus was led there. By the Spirit. To be tempted. He didn't go on His own initiative, but in the obedient following of the Holy Spirit's leading. This reveals that Jesus, though fully God, was fully man. He willingly submitted Himself to follow the leadership of the Spirit. He complied with the will of the Father. And the Father's will was that the Son would be tempted. Now it doesn't make any sense logically, or theologically, to assume the Father would expect the Son to go be tempted if the Tempter really couldn't tempt the Tempted One, right? What would that prove. Absolutely nothin'...say it again...
sorry...lost my train of thought. Anyway. God ordained for the Son to be tempted for a couple of very important reasons which we'll get to later. But until then, notice this (verse 2&3): Jesus had been fasting for 40 days and was hungry. Only then did Satan come to Him. Satan was only able to approach Jesus when His flesh was in a weakened state. Satan knew he couldn't overcome the Son in any other circumstance, because He possesses the very Spirit of the Living God. Satan's only hope was to attack when Christ's humanity was weakened. And when he first tempted Jesus, he tempted Him in His weakest area -- His belly. And when that didn't work, Satan tried to do a two-for-one Temptation Combo ("throw yourself down" -- tempting the body...."and have the angels catch you"....tempting the spirit). When that one fizzled, he took his best shot and tried to offer Jesus the best thing in his goodie bag, lordship over creation. But notice that not only was Satan's best unfavorably compared to a dirty snot rag as far as Jesus was concerned, but if Jesus had accepted the temptation of His Spirit, it would have come at the expense of His preordained suffering of the Flesh. And that was the real temptation that He turned back.
So was Jesus really tempted? you betcha. And how did He deny it? Well, we better pay attention. He did it by the Word of God alone.
Did you catch that?
alone. He didn't do it in concert with mama's encouragement, or from advice from Dr. Phil & Oprah. He didn't turn the enemy away with His own opinion. He did it by resting, trusting, relying wholly and solely upon the Word of God. He denied the temptation of eternity by faith.
This was no small feat. He, by faith, held on to the expectation that the suffering He would have to endure would be more satisfying to the world than Once Stone TM Bread would be to his starvin' tummy. He by faith believed that His humiliation and resurrection would be more incredible and convincing than being caught by the Flying Wallendas, Cherubim Chapter. By faith, Jesus was counting on the Father's promise of Lordship (see Psalm 2) more reliable than the Accuser's.
So Jesus was tempted. And it took a lot out of Him. But He overcame. Which gets us to the question of "why?"
what was accomplished?
The book of Hebrews fills us in.
Hebrews 2:18 says that He was tempted so He could help us who are tempted (and trust me, that is the correct usage of grammar).
Hebrews 4:15 says that He was tempted in all ways, but was without sin.
Take these in reverse, for the purpose of my presentation. First off, we see that He was tempted and didn't sin, so we can trust in a God who is an Overcomer. We see by His victory that He is mightier than the Tempter. We see His victory, and we can have our faith, our hope, our strength, buoyed and augmented by it. It's also important to understand that as the Overcomer, He is the only High Priest Worthy to make the Sin Offering before the Father (which, interestingly, is Himself). Then, we see that not only was He able to overcome, but He also fulfilled the purpose of being able to identify with us. He has been tempted in mind, body, and spirit. He can appreciate when you lust, you hate, you envy, you...whatever. Because He's been there, and He's familiar with the greedy fingers of temptation that try to steal your soul as they feed your flesh. And because He's beeen there and Overcame, His Holy Spirit can minister to your weaknesses and lead you through it.
This all illustrates that God is perfectly comfortable using everything, include His Own Son, to bring glory to Himself. He ordained to have His Son be tested by the temptation of the enemy so that through the Son's victory, the Father would receive Glory. God will ordain for you to be tested by the temptation of the enemy, so that He will receive glory for it.
Now, people will naturally want to argue, "if God ordains tempting, that means God is tempting..." I'll lovingly tell those people...they're more wrong than the wrongest Wrong Wrongerton serving as the Chairman of the board of Wrong in Wronggerton, Wrongslyvania. And I'll point them to James chapter 1, where the half brother of Jesus refutes better than could I.
To wrap this little expo up, I will offer this caveat: i don't believe God can be tempted. Not now. Not the Father, the Son, nor the Holy Spirit. I believe that evil flees from their very presence. But for a thirtyish-year window of time approximately 20 centuries ago, The Son stepped into man's skin and allowed Himself to face the worst, so that we could one day see the Best.
sung to the tune of turn out the lights
in the ongoing quest to satisfy my perpetual need to offer relevant blog entries, I report that my brother and sis-in-law survived < scary music > THE BLACKOUT OF 2003 < /scary music >.
Jamie's hotel in New Brunswick, NJ, had the power go out for a short time, and then came back. The main problem, he reported via infrared smoke signal communication at 11 PM EST last night, was massive problems with computers. Lissa actually drove to her hotel near Central Park, rather than taking the bus, train and subways that she normally does. So she had arrived prior to the blackout. She was working through it, being one of the fortunate folk to have the privilege to attempt to please unhappy hotel guests without the benefit of light, electricity, or conditioned air.
And for those who didn't know, Jamie and Lissa do not own their own hotels, nor are they playing a life-size version of Monopoly TM in real time. They are both employed by Hyatt Hotels. Jamie is a rooms executive and Lissa is a beverage manager. Both have explained their responsibilities to me. And in spite of being very impressed by both of them, I still don't really understand what either of them does.
Jamie's hotel in New Brunswick, NJ, had the power go out for a short time, and then came back. The main problem, he reported via infrared smoke signal communication at 11 PM EST last night, was massive problems with computers. Lissa actually drove to her hotel near Central Park, rather than taking the bus, train and subways that she normally does. So she had arrived prior to the blackout. She was working through it, being one of the fortunate folk to have the privilege to attempt to please unhappy hotel guests without the benefit of light, electricity, or conditioned air.
And for those who didn't know, Jamie and Lissa do not own their own hotels, nor are they playing a life-size version of Monopoly TM in real time. They are both employed by Hyatt Hotels. Jamie is a rooms executive and Lissa is a beverage manager. Both have explained their responsibilities to me. And in spite of being very impressed by both of them, I still don't really understand what either of them does.
8/14/2003
another gem
I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen not only because I see it but because by it I see everything else.
-- CS Lewis
if you haven't subscribed to ChristianQuote yet, you should. Or just keep reading them here...
-- CS Lewis
if you haven't subscribed to ChristianQuote yet, you should. Or just keep reading them here...
introducing Sunnie WeathersTM
again, thanks to Tony, I've added a weather pixie to my page. not that anyone cares...but I opted to use gainesville, as it is closest to my home, and I chose the pixie who most resembled my lovely bride.
i haven't asked her how she feels about being my weather girl.
i haven't asked her how she feels about being my weather girl.
sung to the tune of ironic
amidst the mind-numbing monotony of tweaking powerpoint presentations just so, I read this link from Tony, which tells of NY folk who are suing to stop the gay-only high school from starting up. The beauty of it all? They're using the same anti-discrimination-based-on-with-whom-you-canoodle law that was used to justify (incorrectly) the additional taxpayer burden of a gay-only high school.
this is irony defined.
this little story bore an ear worm of Ms. Morissette's classic into my noggin:
He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. -- Matthew 5:45b
this is irony defined.
this little story bore an ear worm of Ms. Morissette's classic into my noggin:
An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day (not really irony, since many old people die daily)
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay (not irony, just an expensive bug jacuzzi)
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late (nope...just bad planning)
Isn't it ironic... don't you think?
Chorus:
It's like rain on your wedding day (nuh uh...we've had rain nearly every day this month...and lots of weddings)
It's a free ride when you've already paid (no...you're just stupid for paying for something free)
It's the good advice that you just didn't take (again...confusing irony for stupidity)
Who would've thought... it figures
Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic... don't you think? (okay...that might qualify for irony)
Repeat Chorus
Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face (this just shows man's limited perspective and the illusion of control, not to be confused with irony)
A traffic jam when you're already late (if you leave early, you increase your odds of beating the rush)
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break (the whole world's figured out smoking kills. why are you still doing it?)
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife (not irony. just leave Spoons-R-Us and go to Knife World)
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife (a.k.a "Nice to meet you, President and Senator Clinton")
And isn't it ironic... don't you think?
A little too ironic... and yeah I really do think...
Repeat Chorus
Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out
He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. -- Matthew 5:45b
the first rule of the movie quiz
is there is no movie quiz.
Fight Club!
What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla
I must offer the disclaimer that the first time I took this quiz, I came up with the very uncool result of "The Power Rangers Movie." Then I discovered that I didn't do it correctly (many of the questions allow for multiple answers, which will influence results, obviously).
Kelli took this quiz, too, and unsurprisingly, she belongs in Grease.
postscript: I disagree with the last statement in the summary.
thanks to Nikkirae for the link.
Fight Club!
What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla
I must offer the disclaimer that the first time I took this quiz, I came up with the very uncool result of "The Power Rangers Movie." Then I discovered that I didn't do it correctly (many of the questions allow for multiple answers, which will influence results, obviously).
Kelli took this quiz, too, and unsurprisingly, she belongs in Grease.
postscript: I disagree with the last statement in the summary.
thanks to Nikkirae for the link.
on a very serious note
Kyle returns to blogging after his own wrestle with the flu, with a very unhappy experience from yesterday evening.
henny penny...the sky is falling! Oh, wait...nevermind
from slashdot, this story about strong possibility of a total lack of glacial ice with which to cool warm beverages on the North Pole.
< feigned terror and dread > oh my. what will we do? impeach bush. gore would never have let the polar ice caps melt. blame the SUV-driving republican swine. we're in a iraqi quagmire and california will be underwater. eek. boohoo. eek. < /feigned terror and dread >
holdonaminnit.
turns out that the ice free North Pole won't be ready for tourism for at least 100 years. And even then, it will result in no increase in water levels (since all the ice is currently under water anyway).
to celebrate these findings I ran outside and discharged two full cans of my wife's aerosol hair spray, six-shooter style, directly into our atmosphere.
just trying to do my part.
< feigned terror and dread > oh my. what will we do? impeach bush. gore would never have let the polar ice caps melt. blame the SUV-driving republican swine. we're in a iraqi quagmire and california will be underwater. eek. boohoo. eek. < /feigned terror and dread >
holdonaminnit.
turns out that the ice free North Pole won't be ready for tourism for at least 100 years. And even then, it will result in no increase in water levels (since all the ice is currently under water anyway).
to celebrate these findings I ran outside and discharged two full cans of my wife's aerosol hair spray, six-shooter style, directly into our atmosphere.
just trying to do my part.
emergency 911
yesterday, Kaylyn requested, and was permitted, to visit the school nurse.
the malady?
she had an itchy mosquito bite.
announcement of this appointment to her mother led to a conversation on appropriate reasons to visit the school nurse.
It must be a heriditary thing. When I was in high school, I'd regularly go to the school nurse, who had known me since infancy and apparently thought well of me, whenever I felt sleepy and thought a nap was a necessary part of my school day. not a long one, just one class period or so.
Nurse Shelvia Gardner....i still remember that she could give a shot without you even feeling it. Unless of course, she wanted you to feel it (I assume), then she probably could make your life miserable.
power: noun -- the strength of a school nurse with a hypodermic needle.
the malady?
she had an itchy mosquito bite.
announcement of this appointment to her mother led to a conversation on appropriate reasons to visit the school nurse.
It must be a heriditary thing. When I was in high school, I'd regularly go to the school nurse, who had known me since infancy and apparently thought well of me, whenever I felt sleepy and thought a nap was a necessary part of my school day. not a long one, just one class period or so.
Nurse Shelvia Gardner....i still remember that she could give a shot without you even feeling it. Unless of course, she wanted you to feel it (I assume), then she probably could make your life miserable.
power: noun -- the strength of a school nurse with a hypodermic needle.
from The Federalist
"Too many Americans live by Republican principles of faith, family, hope and opportunity, but vote for Democrats out of sheer habit."
--J.C. Watts
--J.C. Watts
8/13/2003
who will win?
Mr. Frederick Krueger or Mr. Jason Voorhies?
the odds at the bottom of the page have Jason as a slight favorite.
oh...and just for the record...I won't be spending money to see the outcome.
the odds at the bottom of the page have Jason as a slight favorite.
oh...and just for the record...I won't be spending money to see the outcome.
i thought this was a joke
after reading cootiehog, I went to this site, where I could learn Dr. Phil, like it was a secondary language class.
I thought I may get life experience credits for being able to adeptly use terms like:
but I was wrong. it was real.
you really can learn all about being Dr. Phil. For only $295 a session.
God bless America.
I thought I may get life experience credits for being able to adeptly use terms like:
now you don't have to be fourth-generation stupid to be the one person who doesn't understand....
when its all said and done, there ain't much diff'rence between white rice and baby maggots when they're both poppin' on a griddle...."
you're a moron....
just because you've outgrown the hair on your head doesn't mean you aren't a sexy man...
just because you've outgrown the hair on your head, doesn't mean you aren't a sexy woman...
would y'all agree that this is the dumbest thing you've ever heard?
Denial aint just a river in....what? Oprah's copyrighted that one? Oh. nevermind.
well, slap my face and call me Judy. if that ain't the most high falutinest thing i ever did see...
but I was wrong. it was real.
you really can learn all about being Dr. Phil. For only $295 a session.
God bless America.
now c'mon, really....
does six bounces on a pogo stick constitute the widespread distribution of the new nickname pogoboy?
methinks not.
methinks not.
proverbs #120
if you spent as much time praying as you do griping, you'll find yourself without a reason to gripe.
back from the luau
pretty good time.
very good eats...i exercised considerable restraint.
of course, no staff birthday party would be complete without humiliating the birthday boys/girls.
they made us jump on a pogo stick.
i won.
with six bounces.
if it weren't for that infernal wall, i coulda hopped backwards all the way off the edge of the building.
then we had a contest where a balloon was tied to our ankle and we had to try to pop the other's balloon.
note: never pop the boss's balloon two seconds into the competition. it's bad form.
i knew this protocol. in fact, i pretended to be confused by the complex instructions, and while asking for a rules clarification, was popped out of the game...the first to go.
now...back to business.
very good eats...i exercised considerable restraint.
of course, no staff birthday party would be complete without humiliating the birthday boys/girls.
they made us jump on a pogo stick.
i won.
with six bounces.
if it weren't for that infernal wall, i coulda hopped backwards all the way off the edge of the building.
then we had a contest where a balloon was tied to our ankle and we had to try to pop the other's balloon.
note: never pop the boss's balloon two seconds into the competition. it's bad form.
i knew this protocol. in fact, i pretended to be confused by the complex instructions, and while asking for a rules clarification, was popped out of the game...the first to go.
now...back to business.
on birthday lunches
yes, i'm still feeling like the 98-lb. weaking in the before picture of those old Charles Atlas ads you could find in the back of the old comic books alongside ads for X-ray glasses.
but in 13 minutes, I'm about to depart for our department summer birthday party. its theme is hawaiin luau.
how do you say influenza in hawaiian?
several days ago, I went to lunch with my boss and two co-workers, for the purpose of celebrating my birthday.
we went to a fine mexican/caribbean restaurant. I ordered the tortilla soup/steak quesadilla lunch combo.
the guy sitting across from me who is not my boss, suddenly dropped out of the flow of conversation.
"are you okay?" I asked.
"no," he said.
he was able to speak, and he wasn't clutching his throat, so I assumed he wasn't choking. I had assumed he must've just got a hot pepper shouting remember the alamo! on the way down.
i assumed wrong.
he tried to flood with a torrent of drinking water the recalcitrant chip or tortilla or burrito or whatever was lodged in his throat. This did not work. This only succeeded in nearly drowning him. Oh, and it initiated a violent reflex action which returned all the water, the entire lodged obstruction, and all the food he had ever eaten in his entire life back out of his mouth.
onto his lunch plate.
now, my vomituous friend periodically reads my meandering online thoughts, and this is by no means included to embarrass him. In fact, I'm quite proud of how he handled himself. he cleaned himself off and politely, quietly excused himself to the restroom. I likely would have been blubbering and whimpering like Tammy Fae Bakker in the middle of a big fundraiser if it had happened to me.
he was extremely apologetic, but i explained that as the father of three small children, one of whom is constantly car-sick, this was just another day of life for me.
even so, it was a little difficult conversationally-speaking, to rebound from that.
I'm really hoping that, given my weakened condition, I won't be replaying the event for everyone in my department today.
happy birthday!
but in 13 minutes, I'm about to depart for our department summer birthday party. its theme is hawaiin luau.
how do you say influenza in hawaiian?
several days ago, I went to lunch with my boss and two co-workers, for the purpose of celebrating my birthday.
we went to a fine mexican/caribbean restaurant. I ordered the tortilla soup/steak quesadilla lunch combo.
the guy sitting across from me who is not my boss, suddenly dropped out of the flow of conversation.
"are you okay?" I asked.
"no," he said.
he was able to speak, and he wasn't clutching his throat, so I assumed he wasn't choking. I had assumed he must've just got a hot pepper shouting remember the alamo! on the way down.
i assumed wrong.
he tried to flood with a torrent of drinking water the recalcitrant chip or tortilla or burrito or whatever was lodged in his throat. This did not work. This only succeeded in nearly drowning him. Oh, and it initiated a violent reflex action which returned all the water, the entire lodged obstruction, and all the food he had ever eaten in his entire life back out of his mouth.
onto his lunch plate.
now, my vomituous friend periodically reads my meandering online thoughts, and this is by no means included to embarrass him. In fact, I'm quite proud of how he handled himself. he cleaned himself off and politely, quietly excused himself to the restroom. I likely would have been blubbering and whimpering like Tammy Fae Bakker in the middle of a big fundraiser if it had happened to me.
he was extremely apologetic, but i explained that as the father of three small children, one of whom is constantly car-sick, this was just another day of life for me.
even so, it was a little difficult conversationally-speaking, to rebound from that.
I'm really hoping that, given my weakened condition, I won't be replaying the event for everyone in my department today.
happy birthday!
hide His word in your heart
Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!
--Psalm 66:20
--Psalm 66:20
cockroach escapes roach motel
sent to me by Jodie Myers, my cousin and Stacy's sister (comments are hers, as you will be able to tell:
An amateur boxing promoter will not face charges over a bout that resulted in a woman's death.
By TOM ZUCCO, Times Staff Writer
© St. Petersburg Times published August 12, 2003
SARASOTA - The promoter of a Toughman competition that led to a Bradenton woman's death in June will not face criminal charges.
Sarasota police closed their investigation Monday of the June 16 fight and decided not to charge amateur boxing promoter Art Dore with a crime. They concluded the death of Stacy Young, a 30-year-old Bradenton mother of two, was accidental because there was no intent for her to be injured or killed.
The investigation also shed new light on the circumstances surrounding the fatal fight.
Young's opponent was unbeaten in seven fights, and the ring doctor was a physician's assistant, records released Monday show. The referee also told police he encouraged Young to give up before the final round.
Young, who was 5-foot-7, 240 pounds, had never been in a boxing ring before entering the competition at Robarts Arena at the last minute. She tried to defend herself for most of the three-round bout, but she turned her back on her opponent and staggered toward her corner with about 10 seconds left in the final round.
Sarah Kobie, who is 5-foot-11 and 185 pounds, then landed several blows to the back of Young's head. Young collapsed in the ring and was taken by helicopter to Bayfront Medical Center in St. Petersburg. She was pronounced dead two days later. An autopsy revealed the cause of death was blunt trauma to her head.
At least four people have died in Toughman competitions nationwide in the last year, and at least 12 have died since the competitions began in 1979. Toughman competition is banned in five states.
According to the police investigation, Kobie signed a contestant affidavit that she did not have more than five sanctioned amateur victories in the past five years. But Kobie told investigators that entering her fight with Young, she had seven victories in seven fights since June 2002.
Kobie, 20, was unavailable for comment Monday. But Dore told investigators he considers the two-day Toughman competitions to be one event; winning a bout on a Friday and another on Saturday counts as one victory.
"And there's no law that says how many amateur fights anyway," Dore said Monday from his Bay City, Mich., office. "One of our rules says you can't have won over five fights. But I don't believe that. She (Kobie) was under the limit of what our rules are."
Kobie also told investigators that she knocked out her opponent in 34 seconds the night before she fought Young. She said Young fought hard though three rounds.
Young also signed an affidavit before the fight saying that she was physically fit and that she had trained for a minimum of 30 days. But her family said she had no training as a fighter.
Referee Ray Blackburn told police he advised Young at the end of the second round that she could quit.
"He (Blackburn) also instructed her . . . that there was no disgrace and that she had gone farther than other fighters," the report said.
But Blackburn said a man he believed was Young's husband shouted to him, "She's not going to quit; she's going to win this fight."
Neither Blackburn nor Young's husband, Chuck, were available for comment. Jodie Meyers, Stacy Young's sister, said Chuck Young told her he was not at ringside at the time.
"So the referee has no credibility," Meyers said. "And what about all the people in the stands who were yelling for the referee to stop the fight?"
For her victory, Kobie won a trophy and a nylon jacket worth about $40. That is just under the $50 prize limit that would have made the bout a professional fight and subjected it to rules that are far more strict.
"What frustrates me," Meyers said, "is that there was nothing prosecutable because of the prize amount. A few dollars."
Toughman competitions don't have the strict requirements for referees that state boxing organizations use. Referees are often unlicensed, and ring doctors are often inexperienced. At two events where fatal injuries occurred, the ringside doctors were chiropractors.
At Stacy Young's fight, the ring doctor was James Donato, a physician's assistant who works at Sarasota Memorial Hospital.
"There's no law that says you have to use anything," Dore said. (NOTE FROM JODIE: THIS is an important quote to share because it speaks to his plan of action...he will make the rules, but as long as it's not LAW, he knows he can, and he does, disreguard the rules at will)
Blackburn, the referee, told investigators he has no current license. He said he worked around amateur wrestling and boxing for more than 26 years.
"He had been refereeing a long time and was licensed in Florida and in several states," Dore said. "It was just an unfortunate accident."
"I really wasn't concerned about (the investigation) at all," Dore added. "And we intend to carry on. We've made a few changes, as we always do, (Note from Jodie: this is meaningless because he has shown repeatedly that he disregards his rules at will) to try to make it as entertaining and safe as possible.
"I've done a thousand of these shows, and it's tragic, but these things just happen."
The only organization that regulates Toughman bouts is one Dore created and controls. A bill in the Florida Legislature would close loopholes in the boxing code that permit Toughman-style fights.
Another Toughman contest is scheduled Sept. 26-27 at the TECO Arena in Fort Myers.
hit by the virus!
don't worry, my computer is fine.
the virus that got me was a real one.
this is why nobody in the blogosphere heard from me yesterday.
just as I was heading out the door at 7:30, I was beset my intense stomach cramps. I assumed one of two possibilities was to explain. Either I had eaten some bad fish the previous night, or a disgruntled girlfriend who finally invested in a kewpie doll and visited the voodoo shop.
(I heard a comedian once comment: "don't ever get behind in your payments to the voodoo shop. They're nice enough when you come in. Free and easy financing, low prices and great terms. All they require is a little piece of your clothes and a small braid of your hair. Miss one payment, though, and boy to they get picky.)
I determined that I had indeed found Nemo, and began praying that I'd be able to vomit him out, much like my body was the water pipe and the toilet bowl was his ocean. "Go home, little Nemo," I pleaded as the pain doubled me in half. No such luck.
So, I called in sick and went to bed. I soon fell asleep, and then at 1 pm, I awoke feeling much better.
So, I called in and my boss said, "good, come on in for that meeting." And I did.
I shouldn't have.
I made it through the meeting fine, and went home around five o'clock. Yet, I had noticed a couple of times that I had occasional moments of blinding pain as though my abdominal muscles were threads, and some mysterious force was pulling one loose thread, causing all my muscles to bind messily, and not unbind.
I shrugged it off, dismissing it as Nemo's last effort.
But then, about 7 pm, I began feeling chilled. Took my temperature. Nope. I was fine. This strengthened my wife's contention that I am in fact a hypochondriac.
Then the aches set in. Sprawled out on the couch, I moaned with every turn. Kaylyn said, "poor daddy." Cotter said, "do you want to play football?" (I think he sensed an opportunity) Kelsi lovingly sat on my chest and slapped my face repeatedly.
So approximately eight minutes after my previous temperature reading, I reinserted the thermometer (don't worry, it was of the oral variety).
100.9
AHA! Vindication! This strengthened my argument that I am not a hypochondriac, but just very sensitive to my body's delicate balance.
The celebratory lap around the house wore me out and I went to bed. Three different times I woke up to a cold sweat, sheets soaked.
I woke up at 8:15 today feeling goooood. Came on in to work.
About half-way into the commute, the good feeling left my body and was promptly replaced by those oh-so-familiar aches and pains.
So right now, I'm being the brave little trooper, taking one for the team.
And outside my office, Kyle just mentioned to the secretaries how he's been bed-bound since Sunday with the flu.
the virus that got me was a real one.
this is why nobody in the blogosphere heard from me yesterday.
just as I was heading out the door at 7:30, I was beset my intense stomach cramps. I assumed one of two possibilities was to explain. Either I had eaten some bad fish the previous night, or a disgruntled girlfriend who finally invested in a kewpie doll and visited the voodoo shop.
(I heard a comedian once comment: "don't ever get behind in your payments to the voodoo shop. They're nice enough when you come in. Free and easy financing, low prices and great terms. All they require is a little piece of your clothes and a small braid of your hair. Miss one payment, though, and boy to they get picky.)
I determined that I had indeed found Nemo, and began praying that I'd be able to vomit him out, much like my body was the water pipe and the toilet bowl was his ocean. "Go home, little Nemo," I pleaded as the pain doubled me in half. No such luck.
So, I called in sick and went to bed. I soon fell asleep, and then at 1 pm, I awoke feeling much better.
So, I called in and my boss said, "good, come on in for that meeting." And I did.
I shouldn't have.
I made it through the meeting fine, and went home around five o'clock. Yet, I had noticed a couple of times that I had occasional moments of blinding pain as though my abdominal muscles were threads, and some mysterious force was pulling one loose thread, causing all my muscles to bind messily, and not unbind.
I shrugged it off, dismissing it as Nemo's last effort.
But then, about 7 pm, I began feeling chilled. Took my temperature. Nope. I was fine. This strengthened my wife's contention that I am in fact a hypochondriac.
Then the aches set in. Sprawled out on the couch, I moaned with every turn. Kaylyn said, "poor daddy." Cotter said, "do you want to play football?" (I think he sensed an opportunity) Kelsi lovingly sat on my chest and slapped my face repeatedly.
So approximately eight minutes after my previous temperature reading, I reinserted the thermometer (don't worry, it was of the oral variety).
100.9
AHA! Vindication! This strengthened my argument that I am not a hypochondriac, but just very sensitive to my body's delicate balance.
The celebratory lap around the house wore me out and I went to bed. Three different times I woke up to a cold sweat, sheets soaked.
I woke up at 8:15 today feeling goooood. Came on in to work.
About half-way into the commute, the good feeling left my body and was promptly replaced by those oh-so-familiar aches and pains.
So right now, I'm being the brave little trooper, taking one for the team.
And outside my office, Kyle just mentioned to the secretaries how he's been bed-bound since Sunday with the flu.
8/11/2003
a ten-minute subscription to woman's world
i accompanied my wife purse shopping on sunday.
this was my gift to her for her birthday. the purse, not my presence there.
i had no idea there were so many options in the purse industry.
i learned much:
and just for the record-keepers...after three separate purse-shopping excursions, Kelli settled on the one Cotter was using as his "boy bag." He was quite pleased. This decision was made after a lengthy conversation with a lovely lady who was excited to welcome us to Georgia, was extremely complimentary about our children, and thought the square-looking Guess bag that was discounted 30% was definitely the best choice (it was a finalist, but lost out in the end because, if I remember correctly, there were only 488 zipper teeth and not the mandatory 490). We left the store not only with a new purse, but with new relationships with Nice Lady in Green (wearing the unmatching red clutch) and Thai Sales Lady. They both celebrated our choice before sending us on our way.
once more, this was an experience that has never occured in ManTownTM.
this was my gift to her for her birthday. the purse, not my presence there.
i had no idea there were so many options in the purse industry.
i learned much:
straw purses are for summer.
canvas purses are for summer.
its too late to buy for summer.
little purses aren't practical.
big purses are practical.
practical purses look frumpy.
if you're buying a purse, why buy something that is impractical or frumpy?
it must look good on your shoulder.
it must be easily slung atop the shoulder.
it must not be too long.
it must not fall from the shoulder.
it cannot be too heavy.
it cannot be too light.
it must match everything in your wardrobe.
my son is willing to play with a purse if it is instead called a 'boy bag.'
blue is not the next black (whatever that means)
black, apparently, is the next black.
a purse can appear perfect, yet once filled be completely wrong.
it is not only acceptable, but encouraged to solicit the opinions of total strangers on your purse purchase.
purses on clearance only are so because they are hideously out of season.
drawstring, zipper, velcro, and magnets are all closure options for the purse. they are not all equally appealing nor effective.
my observation that i've had the same wallet for going on a decade was not appealing nor effective.
and just for the record-keepers...after three separate purse-shopping excursions, Kelli settled on the one Cotter was using as his "boy bag." He was quite pleased. This decision was made after a lengthy conversation with a lovely lady who was excited to welcome us to Georgia, was extremely complimentary about our children, and thought the square-looking Guess bag that was discounted 30% was definitely the best choice (it was a finalist, but lost out in the end because, if I remember correctly, there were only 488 zipper teeth and not the mandatory 490). We left the store not only with a new purse, but with new relationships with Nice Lady in Green (wearing the unmatching red clutch) and Thai Sales Lady. They both celebrated our choice before sending us on our way.
once more, this was an experience that has never occured in ManTownTM.
i've been told i write like a girl, but this is ridiculous
found this at Jen's, and it left me feeling a little elfish:
Once again, i've been pegged beyond disagreement by another highly scientific internet quiz.
Possessing a rare combination of wisdom and humility, while serenely dominating your environment you selflessly use your powers to care for others.
Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.
Once again, i've been pegged beyond disagreement by another highly scientific internet quiz.
men are from mars...women are from the planet where everything you do on mars, no matter what, is wrong.
this just in: men and women are different.
i understood this once again as i listened in on two female coworkers discuss -- at length -- the female phenomenon known as secret sisters.
this little activity would just not fly with men. First of all, there's just no good alliterative term for it. Everything I could come up with were terms I had already heard on Will & Grace or Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
second, guys don't know how to receive unmerited gifts. If someone drops off a gift on my desk, which I would assume would have to be a wrench, an action movie that had just come out on DVD, or a book that celebrates manhood, I would not be happy that I didn't know who the gift-giver was. I would immediately begin a hunt/investigation to root out the benevolent man. Once I discovered his identity, I would follow him -- stalking if necessary -- until I could perform some act of benevolence equal to the gift (such as changing a tire, rescuing his children from a tornado, or remodeling his home), that justified having received the gift in the first place. Also, an unexpected gift leads to all kinds of suspicious questions, like "what did I do to deserve this? did I forget his birthday or anniversary of his bypass or something, and this is his polite way of sticking it to me? what do I have to get him now? i wonder if anyone knows if he has a flat tire or something."
third, guys wouldn't know how to have the end-of-the-season celebration where private pals are revealed (see what I mean, there is just no good name for this). I can imagine the scene:
Me: Chris, was that you got me the framed picture of Mile High Stadium?
Chris: No, it sure wasn't, you silly goose! I'm the one who's been sending Tony all those Astro antique baseball cards!
Tony: That was so thoughtful! I thought it was Al who was doing that, but I found out Al was Clay's 'undercover brother' (not bad) and had been sending him cinnamon incense and potpourri.
Clay: oh those candles were to die for! Thanks Al, you're a gem!
Al: Sure.
(here, everyone laughs like Al just had just said the funniest line since Clinton said he couldn't remember what he and Monica had done together)
Clay: Bryan, you can't figure it out?
Me: Well, if it isn't Chris, and it isn't Tony, and it isn't Al...then that only leaves you!
Clay: Surprise!
Me: Whee!
Clay: This was so fun....we should do this every year!
All: Yay! Undercover brothers...forever!
You see, it just doesn't translate.
But what does work for us is the uniquely male world of fantasy football pools. I don't think women have ever been excluded from a fantasy football pool, but in all my years of participating in them, I've yet to find a woman who thinks its cool to pretend to play football with a bunch of out-of-shape dorks who become consumed with the statistics of not just their team and players, but of every team and every player on every team.
the first time I came home after a four-hour draft, my wife accurately welcomed me with, "Ready for dinner, Dorky McSporty?"
My favorite fantasy football memory is when, in a draft, a guy revealed his lack of football moxie by attempting to draft Chris O'Donnell (Robin, from the Batman movies), rather than Neill O'Donnell(then with the Pittsburgh Steelers) as his starting quarterback. Nobody had the heart to tell him that the Boy Wonder wasn't suiting up this year. Hey, any edge you can get...
I don't mean to brag, but I am a Fantasy Football champion. While i was in seminary, my "Team Touchdown" squad won the Fantasy Bowl (which, oddly enough, I think was the name of where I took the family for some bowling Sunday for Kelli's birthday, after church). My ability to boast of this feat is similar to the the bragging rights Anthony Michael Hall possesses in Sixteen Candles.
So this goes to show that both men and women have their quirky intricacies. Ours just involve grunting, sweating, and a high probability of torn ligaments. Not of ourselves, of course...that would be dangerous.
i understood this once again as i listened in on two female coworkers discuss -- at length -- the female phenomenon known as secret sisters.
this little activity would just not fly with men. First of all, there's just no good alliterative term for it. Everything I could come up with were terms I had already heard on Will & Grace or Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
second, guys don't know how to receive unmerited gifts. If someone drops off a gift on my desk, which I would assume would have to be a wrench, an action movie that had just come out on DVD, or a book that celebrates manhood, I would not be happy that I didn't know who the gift-giver was. I would immediately begin a hunt/investigation to root out the benevolent man. Once I discovered his identity, I would follow him -- stalking if necessary -- until I could perform some act of benevolence equal to the gift (such as changing a tire, rescuing his children from a tornado, or remodeling his home), that justified having received the gift in the first place. Also, an unexpected gift leads to all kinds of suspicious questions, like "what did I do to deserve this? did I forget his birthday or anniversary of his bypass or something, and this is his polite way of sticking it to me? what do I have to get him now? i wonder if anyone knows if he has a flat tire or something."
third, guys wouldn't know how to have the end-of-the-season celebration where private pals are revealed (see what I mean, there is just no good name for this). I can imagine the scene:
Me: Chris, was that you got me the framed picture of Mile High Stadium?
Chris: No, it sure wasn't, you silly goose! I'm the one who's been sending Tony all those Astro antique baseball cards!
Tony: That was so thoughtful! I thought it was Al who was doing that, but I found out Al was Clay's 'undercover brother' (not bad) and had been sending him cinnamon incense and potpourri.
Clay: oh those candles were to die for! Thanks Al, you're a gem!
Al: Sure.
(here, everyone laughs like Al just had just said the funniest line since Clinton said he couldn't remember what he and Monica had done together)
Clay: Bryan, you can't figure it out?
Me: Well, if it isn't Chris, and it isn't Tony, and it isn't Al...then that only leaves you!
Clay: Surprise!
Me: Whee!
Clay: This was so fun....we should do this every year!
All: Yay! Undercover brothers...forever!
You see, it just doesn't translate.
But what does work for us is the uniquely male world of fantasy football pools. I don't think women have ever been excluded from a fantasy football pool, but in all my years of participating in them, I've yet to find a woman who thinks its cool to pretend to play football with a bunch of out-of-shape dorks who become consumed with the statistics of not just their team and players, but of every team and every player on every team.
the first time I came home after a four-hour draft, my wife accurately welcomed me with, "Ready for dinner, Dorky McSporty?"
My favorite fantasy football memory is when, in a draft, a guy revealed his lack of football moxie by attempting to draft Chris O'Donnell (Robin, from the Batman movies), rather than Neill O'Donnell(then with the Pittsburgh Steelers) as his starting quarterback. Nobody had the heart to tell him that the Boy Wonder wasn't suiting up this year. Hey, any edge you can get...
I don't mean to brag, but I am a Fantasy Football champion. While i was in seminary, my "Team Touchdown" squad won the Fantasy Bowl (which, oddly enough, I think was the name of where I took the family for some bowling Sunday for Kelli's birthday, after church). My ability to boast of this feat is similar to the the bragging rights Anthony Michael Hall possesses in Sixteen Candles.
So this goes to show that both men and women have their quirky intricacies. Ours just involve grunting, sweating, and a high probability of torn ligaments. Not of ourselves, of course...that would be dangerous.
another reason why i'd never make a good witness at a crime scene
its taken me until today (five months of employment) to notice the giant ficus at the end of our hallway. I've been assured its always been there.
a question of etiquette
how long should one wait before a possibly embarrasing event that occurred to someone is considered "fair game" for blogging?
8/10/2003
the matriculation of master cotter james mcanally, esq.
today, after church:
"I don't know everything. I just know all the good things."
"I don't know everything. I just know all the good things."
totally? totally.
text to speech has added valley girl
cut and paste the following gem and be impressed by where the technology being developed by our globe's greatest brain power:
cut and paste the following gem and be impressed by where the technology being developed by our globe's greatest brain power:
i'm so sure. that totally freaks me out. gag me with a rubber pitchfork
alert: the matrix is a work of prophecy!
don't be alarmed by this headline.
repeat after me:
computers are our friends
computers are our friends
we created them
they would never rebel against us
an important thing to remember in times like this:
repeat after me:
computers are our friends
computers are our friends
we created them
they would never rebel against us
an important thing to remember in times like this:
video killed the radio storm
video killed the radio storm
In my mind and in my car, we can't rewind we've gone too far
how many (insert group here) does it take....
c& p humor from my inbox for you today:
Superman once wrote on the wall: "Batman is a wimp."
The next day Batman wrote: "Superman is Clark Kent."
Superman once wrote on the wall: "Batman is a wimp."
The next day Batman wrote: "Superman is Clark Kent."
a great day for many reasons
because I'll worship the Lord.
because I'll celebrate my wife's birth thirty three years ago.
because I'll enjoy a day of relaxation with my beautifyl bride and my three wonderful children.
because I'll notice that the 5,000th visitor will have seen my site (my "little blog that could" keeps growing! thanks for reading everyone)
because I'll be another Sunday closer to football season.
because I'll be one more day closer to seeing my faith realized & fulfilled.
because I'll celebrate my wife's birth thirty three years ago.
because I'll enjoy a day of relaxation with my beautifyl bride and my three wonderful children.
because I'll notice that the 5,000th visitor will have seen my site (my "little blog that could" keeps growing! thanks for reading everyone)
because I'll be another Sunday closer to football season.
because I'll be one more day closer to seeing my faith realized & fulfilled.
seeing is believing
an interesting site of a graphic artist shows his touch-up work done for print industry muckety-mucks. This guy's work should remind you: what you're seeing is an illusion. (note: the link is of a girl in a bikini -- that's meant as an forewarning, and not as an enticement).
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