I think someone just called me a dumbledork

just who is this Harry Potter I keep hearing people talk about? Is this really a person, or just a reference to a hirsute ceramicist?

Is he related to Mr. Potter from Its a Wonderful Life? Or to Colonel Potter from the 4077?

His name keeps getting linked with a term that confuses me: The Order of the Phoenix, and I don't know what it means. Is he a cult leader, or a travel agent?

personal trends update as determined by by blogspot advertising

heretofore I'd noticed predominantly "christian-oriented" advertising.

But ever since I added the amazon link to the book I co-wrote, my ads are now "amazon-oriented."

whatever the ads say, I'm oriented toward eternity, just trying to walk the most direct path until I get there.

my brother lives in Sayreville, NJ

but this is not about him.

This is about overreacting PC idiots (reported dutifully at How Appealing, the appelate blog).

A Circuit Court of Appeals upheld the Sayreville school district's decision to suspend a kindergartner for saying to friends "I'm going to shoot you" to his friends at recess.

Lost in the details was the fact that the 5 and 6 year-olds were playing glamour photographer.

with a creamy nougat center

from the WSJ, best of the web, I saw this quote from the Concord Monitor (Online), made by French-looking, Catsup heir-marrying, Senator John Kerry:

"We deserve leaders who are going to have the courage to stand up and present real choices to Americans, not these fudgy ones that take us down a very wobbly road, to a very dangerous place," he said.

(emphasis mine)

fudgy ones?

what could that possibly mean?

especially when you consider that this description is used as a modifier of the later phraseology (sic) taking us down a wobbly road, to a very dangerous place.

I've heard President Bush described in many ways, but not yet have I heard him described as 'fudgy.'

< homer > mmm....fudgy presidential wobbliness.... < /homer >

Either Sen. Kerry is confusing the president for the Simpson's patriarch when the latter dreams he lives in the land made of chocolate, or he has determined that the most apt metaphor for Bush's leadership is that of Hansel & Gretel.

And we all know the moral of Hansel & Gretel is to not follow fudgy leaders into wobbly, dangerous places, lest we end up in roasting cages and are devoured by said, evil & greedy fudgy leader.

ohh my....

is anybody else hungry for a snack?

attempting to undo a wrong

From Today's Federalist:

Before the Supremes, Norma McCorvey, AKA "Jane Roe" of the infamous 1973 Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision legalizing abortion, is petitioning the high court to overturn its 30-year-old ruling. McCorvey, a Roman Catholic convert and now staunch pro-life advocate, filed her motion this week with the federal district court in Dallas (the same court that ruled in her favor in advance of the Supremes' 1973 decision). The petition argues that the basis for the original case was fraudulent and that advances in medicine no longer make the beginnings of life in the womb a point of philosophy, but a point of science. "The issue is justice for the unborn, justice in this case because it was fraudulent, and justice for what is right," said McCorvey. While this motion contains little legal merit and won't change a law the courts have consistently upheld for 30 years, it does tend to undermine the arguments about the legitimacy of Roe v Wade. The Federalist applauds Ms. McCorvey's bold stand.

I, too, commend Norva.

proverbs #97

and I won't say this is for Chris, but...

this one's for Chris:




let every bird sing its own note.


(disclaimer: the previous proverb is not meant to imply that Chris at any time supresses the unique songs eminating from any individual bird at any given time. Any inference to that end would be erroneous in nature, and should be disregarded)

how 'bout now?

better?

or too "Purple Rain?"

this week on extreme makeover

we took a blog that was full of content, but not much to look at.

After six weeks in a clandestine spa, subjected to the poking, prodding, cutting and reshaping of renown artists (note: or just maystar's template), given an extreme regimen of exercise and diet

I now present the new look of Clarity amidst Chaos.

Seriously...

please tell me what you think...

does the masthead look too Christmas-y?

any other criticisms?

rather than tell you the whole story

I can just assure you Kelsi won't be getting heartburn for a looonng time.

and, no, Poison Control didn't need to be alerted.

tallies from the big board

at the midway point of day 1 (of 2) we've brought in approximately $40.

and we should easily be able to double it with a well-placed wager on tomorrow night's prize fight between Lewis & Klitschko.






(that was a joke)

what does this say about me?

yes...I actually laughed upon reading this.

What's dangerous and swings from trees?



A monkey with a chainsaw!

blogging lite

because I've been preparing for today's execution of a moving sale. more coments to ensue later, post sunburn and haggling over a computer game that was once valueless enough to add to the pile 'o junk, but suddenly priceless when somebody wants to insult me by only offering 97 cents for it instead of the posted $1!

prayer update

steve shelton was taken off life support and died yesterday. please pray for his wife and children.

two from tony

a time waster (but lots of fun).

and a new reference site on Israel (which I'll link to permanently when I get the time)

prayer needs

steve shelton & family-- fell from his roof, broke his neck, not expected to live.
dennis heinrich -- full recovery from boating injury to his face

thanks

This horse looks dead, but I'm goint to beat it one more time to make certain

I will once again posit that Saddam Hussein was Iraq's worst WMD.

This man would likely agree.

Whether or not we find him, or other less verbose variations of WMD is inconsequential to me. The sheer absence of such a threat because of our sheer presence there resolves the issue nicely. We've not had to worry one iota for a couple months now that Iraq had any potential whatsoever to threaten global harmony.

Iran....Saudi Arabia....are you taking notes?

Coming Soon to a terrorist-harboring nation near you: Operation ODOP (Overwhelming Display Of Peace)!

God bless America

disturbing factoid of the day

From the Rocky Mountain News:

Hillary makes a $4.20 royalty for every book duped sold to the public.

That means she's made over 2.5 million so far, if estimates are correct.

who knew it could be so lucrative being a living martyr?

sung to the tune of here comes peter cottontail

This article made half my hair fall out.

instaneously.

And the other turn gray.

simultaneously.

What troubled me the most is not that we've got teenage girls wanting to wear the Playboy bunny. We shouldn't be surprised when girls are inspired to be the next playmate, when we live in a society that sexualizes teens by putting Britney Spears in a school girl outfit and telling her to go out shake her moneymaker, Christina Aguilera gets *Dirrty* and we posterize the next group of teens by plastering them on Vanity Fair in body-hugging, cleavage revealing attire.

No, as the the dad of two girls who will one day be teens searching for self-identity and having to co-exist with boys who will someday be just like the little weasel I once was, what troubled me was this revelatory snippet, shared candidly by 16 year old Cassie:

“I want guys to notice me,” Cassie admits, while a few feet away a miniature carousel spins 3- and 4-year-olds around. “Once boys notice, they can get to know the real me.” Which, she elaborates later, includes being a fierce field hockey goalie, a tutor in D.C. schools and a decent student.

So unless I'm reading this precocious lass wrong, she's basically stating that she wants guys to check her out. Thinks she's a hottie. or maybe even a little bit naughty. Then she can really impress them with her good grades and goalie skills.

I'm just becoming more and more aware that my time to influence my children (particularly my daughters) so that they will be stand above the crowd because of who they really are -- and not noticed simply by body parts that stand out from the crowd -- is a small window, and every day is a opportunity to shape and influence them that cannot be recaptured once it is put to bed.


tangient alert:
And don't think that the rabbit head symbol is not without consequence...remember that the bunny is a well-deserved symbol of fertility. When we were growing up, my dad tried to breed rabbits for a brief time. The venture failed because it was exceedingly successful.

what he didn't know was that my brother and I were constantly letting the buck bunny into the does' pens for clandestine encounters. We were boys. We'd bring out a boombox with Barry White or Marvin Gaye playing to set the mood, then we'd laugh giddily as the fireworks exploded, so to speak. Whenever the union was consummated, the buck "celebrated" by performing what I now believe to be an involuntary back flip (note: I realize as I type this that I will soon be lectured about being inappropriate in my blog).

This feat was quite impressive, and we were compelled to show it to all our friends five or six times apeice.

So, faster than you can say Watership Down, my dad had more supply than he had demand.

But I digress...

Does this mean that boys (and men who will behave like boys) see the bunny symbol on a teenage girl and accordingly make some gutteral, basic connection resembling sumptin like:

ug. she wear bunny. she good for making babies. I, Lothar, must have baby-making girl. ug.

I suppose its possible, but I doubt it gets that deep, or gutteral. It's likely very simple, very basic, and very shallow.

It probably has a lot more to do with the reality that in 50 years the Playboy bunny has established pervasive brand awareness that identifies girls who bear the bunny will likely be bearing little else.

and it concerns me that we've got young girls thinking this is the way to attract boys to "come and get to know the real them."

That Mikey sure is funny

I laughed at this....
DOGS' PET PEEVES

~ Yelling at me for barking...HEY, I'M A DOG!!

~ Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

~ Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it.

~ Blaming your farts on me...not funny...not funny at all.

~ Yelling at me for rubbing my bottom on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet?

~ Dog sweaters. Hello...have you noticed the fur?

~ Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

~ Taking me to the vet for "the big snip," then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.

~ The slight of hand, fake-fetch-throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

speaking of....

Hume Cronyn died yesterday. He was 91.

Interesting things from his obit...
1. He was an heir to the Labatt Brewery family
2. He was a pugilist who turned down the chance to box for the Canadian Olympic team.
3. Jessica Tandy was his second wife.
4. He remarried after she died.
5. Apparently, Caccoon was just a movie and he did not find the fountain of youth supplied by benevolent aliens.

two great tastes that taste great together

my friend Jay Badry, who is a pastor in Colorado Springs, recently wrote an article on guilt that was phenomenal. If any of the editors to whom he sends it are smart, they'll publish it and publicize it.

anyway, without stealing any of the thunder of the article, he gave these two definitions...

grace: when God gives us what we do not deserve

mercy: when God does not give us what we do deserve


I don't know if these are original thoughts, or merely the recorded thoughts of someone else. I didn't check footnotes that closely.

I just know that I needed these two terms simply presented in juxtaposition to one another. I think to see them side by side, or piggybag (or whatever your browser does to them here) helps you understand the magnificence of God justalittletinybit more clearly.

I've come to the opinion (which likely means I'm right, right?) that you can't have grace without mercy. This is a fresh opinion, as I just deleted a line of text which declared otherwise. But the sheer notion that God has extended a grace to me that I do not deserve implies that I did deserve something else in its stead that was mercifully withheld from me.

I'm soooo much more thankful and appreciative of the grace He has bestowed on me, when I view it in the revelatory light of His mercy. From the grandiose to the sublime, that which He extends to me undeservedly and that which he buffers from me unexplainedly causes me to freshly understand that His love is incomprehensible in its depth and breadth for a wretch like me, and how I cling to its moorings -- the grace and mercy of God through the sacrifice of Jesus-- the foundation of my faith.

If this be so, then (in my own life) the mercy of God tends to be the underappreciated blessing. It's common for me to praise God for what He has released to me. But too often, I fail to voice what the great theologian Garth Brooks has said when he crooned, "Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers."

Smartypants McGenius once said, "Only God knows every potential of every potential." Somewhere amidst protecting us from all those potentials that would just eat our lunch should they be realized is the unquantifiable expression of God's mercy.

protecting myself and others from....myself.

and as the unbreakable dam of mercy holds back the unforgiving floodwaters of carnality, the Holy Spirit instead releases through its spillway, the quenching, perfect flow of grace.

Goodness.

God's pretty cool.

If you can't praise God after this post, you better check your pulse, because I think you just might be dead.

hoobielaala jailiikkia fflimzimibukoo

which translated means:

beliefnet is asking if you've ever spoken in tongues

as you can guess from my irreverent tone of my header, I have not spoken in tongues, and don't believe that the vast majority of the expression of this "gift" is legitimate.

If you disagree with me and I've ticked you off, then all I have to say to you is, "I'm sorry, I didn't undersand you. Could you repeat that?"

Interesting in this article is the author's retelling of his tongues experience. Not only did the Lord gift him with the speaking of tongues, but apparently also with the phonetically correct spelling of "the divine language" as well. He musta got a double dose of the Holy Spirit when he got saved. Now he gets to go to Heaven 2.0!

maybe if I just practice...

relaxing
relaxing
relaxing

mele kaliki maka
farfegnugen der weinerschnitzel
caveat emptor
donde esta el bibliotecha, por favor
j'aime la maison internationale de frais tooty de crêpes et fruité rooty
domo morigato mr. roboto
Chef Boyardee dice che è una buona polpetta

bummer....I guess the verbiage of the angels continues to elude me.

I suppose I'll have to be satisfied with the plain ol' indwelling of the Holy Spirit -- full to the point of overflowing. Sufficient for my every need. Simply sealed and protected, guaranteed until my day of redemption.

heaven 1.0 is good enough for me!

Here is Jim Cymbala's well-reasoned address to the issue.

from Ken's Perspective

from the June 13, 2003 Pastor's Weekly Briefing

For the third year in a row, President Bush declined to issue a proclamation recognizing June as Gay and Lesbian Pride month. "The president believes every person should be treated with dignity and respect, but he doesn't believe in politicizing people's sexual orientation," said White House spokesman Scott McClellan.

Despite earlier reports that cabinet officials such as Attorney General John Ashcroft were nixing the celebration, the Department of Justice is taking an ambiguous position, allowing the event, but requiring DOJ employees to fund it themselves. The agency wants it to be clear that it will not be sponsoring Gay and Lesbian Pride galas as it did last year.

David Smith, spokesman for the Human Rights Campaign, and other activists are up in arms, criticizing both Bush and Ashcroft and claiming that their "callous" indifference to Gay Pride Month is an enormous setback for human rights. "Sponsorship sends an important message to the employee group that their work is valued." What? Isn't that what a salary is for? The fact is, and John Ashcroft would confirm it, the work of homosexuals is valued exactly the same as heterosexuals. What the activists are obviously seeking are special recognition and privileges.

The DOJ doesn't set aside other months to affirm married people or mothers or singles. Besides, one would think that, with the ongoing war against terrorism, homeland security concerns and plain old street crime, the government would have better things to do with taxpayer dollars and federal employees' time than to celebrate personal sexual preferences.

(Ken Connor is the president of the Family Research Council in Washington, D.C.)

sung to the tune of raindrops keep fallin on my head

This Six Feet Under-Esque story of a blue ice lawsuit.

I've been curious to know if murderous blue ice was really a problem. I suppose I'm still wondering. But don't call me chicken little just because I'll be looking up a little more frequently.

< announcer > and McAnally fumbles the ball again! < /announcer >

Today, while filling my gasoline tank at the Craig Kum & Go, I was approached by a young man who wanted a moment of my time.

I noticed he was wearing a name tag bearing the words "Unification Church" across the top.

I could have engaged him in conversation. I could have seized a moment and shared the truth with him.

yeah...

I sure could have.

But I didn't.

I brushed him off with a curt, "I'm sorry, we don't support the Unification Church."

He was very cordial and approached the guy on the other side of the gas island, who said, "buddy, I'm on the clock here. "

I didn't even see which way he went down the road.

God was polite enough to wait until I was about 20 miles down the road to convict me of this colossal blunder.


I am so sorry.

if it walks like a duck...

more c&p humor from Mikey:

BECAUSE I'M A DAD...

...I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I'll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.

...when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call road service until long after hypothermia has set in. Oh, and when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another guy shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start."

...when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.

...I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk, or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "Cumin" or "Tofu." For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up a copy of "Cosmo" or "Better Homes & Gardens."

...when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

...I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger--how could HE know where we're going?

...you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

...I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

reason 8178 why I hate the media

this is not a news story.

< liberal, pompous, self-righteous sarcasm > obviously, because Mr. Bush cannot keep his balance on a simple two-wheeled device that is designed to be piloted by chimpanzees with inner-ear imbalances, he is not qualified to lead our nation. He's probably choking on a pretzel as he fell. < /liberal, pompous, self-righteous sarcasm >

the world from Cotter's perspective

Things recently uttered from Cotter's mouth:

-- This scab looks like meat.

-- When we get home, will you read me some scriptures?

-- Do these shoes make me look fast?

-- My two favorite cities are Mexico and Texaco.

-- My bike's name is Tornado!

-- Daddy, what's a tornado?

-- Are Skittles good for me?

-- Kelsi, come give Bruh-bruh a kiss.

-- Mommy, Kelsi won't kiss me!

-- But Kelsi, I'm just trying to cuddle with you!

-- Uh oh.... Mommy....Kelsi hurt herself!

-- I'm going to ride with Papa and Daddy. The boys in one car. The girls in the other.

-- < Amazing Grace > When we've been saved 10,000 years, bright shining as the SUUUNNNN.... < /Amazing Grace >

-- My three favorite days of the week?....Tuesday....Sunday.....and....Thursday. They just are.

-- When I'm 6, GDad will be 66.

-- Oh! Does your sunburn really hurt?

-- ROOAAARRR! Did I scare you?

-- Don't forget...when we get home, you and I are going to play lightsabers!

-- I've got to tell you something bad. The Rockies have one run. The other team has 4.

-- I think I'm just going to take a break for a few whiles.

sung to the tune of wrap it up

We have to stick around one extra day in Craig to tie up loose ends with the car. We tried to pay off our old car using the autopay by phone feature. We received a confirmation amount, but then when Kelli called to check on the transaction, it had only recorded a normal month's payment. Long story short, we have to wait until tomorrow before full payment is confirmed. And we have to have full payment before the salvage yard will take the Rodeo and deliver it to its deserved end in the scrapyard.

While we were getting our new car, Kelli went to clean out the Rodeo that was at the repair shop next door. The engine was in the back seat. Things didn't look too good for restoration of that vehicle. That's okay. It served us for 5 years and 60,000 miles. Now it can clutter a trash heap as we drive east and south toward new opportunities and challenges.

and on the topic of answered prayers

God has met our need for a different automobile far above and beyond our expectations. We praise Him for using some incredibly giving and wonderful people in our lives to selflessly and sacrificially assist us.

You know who you are, and we love you and thank the Lord for you. Words will never express the depth and breadth of our appreciation.

Cotter update

Apologies for the delay in communicating, but my non-cyber life has been quite full recently. We took Cotter in for his procedure on Thursday and to be succinct, everything went well. Without being too graphic, I'll relate to you that the doc thought Cotter's troubles are definitely allergy-related. Sooooo...we will meet with a new allergist, and also with a dietician in the next two weeks.

The procedure was quite painless for Cotter. In fact, before it all began, the anesthesiologist gave him a tranquilizer through some cough syrup. This is where we entered into the "yes, I'm laughing at my drugged-up son" phase. I really didn't want to laugh at him, but he was so loopy that it was impossible not to laugh. About ten minutes after he downed the medicine, his legs got wobbly. Then he started to reach for things that simply didn't exist beyond his altered mind's imagination. Then, after a brief lull where we thought he was going to drop off to sleep, he broke into a goofy grin and said quite sincerely (and slurringly), "Momma, it looks like you've got four eyes."

The procedure itself only took about 10 minutes, I suppose because he's just a little guy. He took an additional 20 minutes to come out of the anesthesia, and he was altogether unhappy that we aroused him from his deep slumber. But on the way home, he piped up and said, "Hey! I thought they were going to stick a camera down my throat and take pictures." We informed him that they already did, and his reply was a very understated, "Oh. Can I have Baskin Robbins now?"

When we arrived at Kelli's folks house about 30 minutes after it was all said and done, he slept for another two hours, and when he awoke, you never would have known that he had given the first half of his day to drugs, scopes, and recovery.


Thanks everyone (and you, too, Ms. Shirley!) for your prayers. The presence of the Holy Spirit was a comfort to us during the day, calming our worries and protecting our son.