in the key of Christina Aguilera's 'You are Beautiful'

The NOW sits also continues to advertise for their past October's Love Your Body day.

With pr0n sales at an all-time high, it appears that we're really not having a problem with getting the vote out on this issue.

but were they willing to make nachos for their men?

WSJ Best of the Web reports on NOW's Super-Bowl Commercial assessments.

The self-styled National Organization for Women has finally gotten around to posting its reviews of Super Bowl ads, which, as we noted, it had promised to do Monday. NOW has managed to perpetuate two derogatory stereotypes: of women as perennially late, and of feminists as humorless.

NOW complains that "much of the content of the ads was directed at the male viewer." Gosh, ladies, you might want to commission a study to find out why this is the case, but here's a clue: The Super Bowl is a football game. "No female sports stars appeared in any of the ads, compared with at least six male athletes," NOW complains. That's nothing! At any given time during the game, there were as many as 22 male athletes on the field and no female sports stars. Go figure.

Most of NOW's rage is directed against Anheuser-Busch, whose beer ads it deems sexist. Women, the report complains, were "the butt of many jokes." But the beer ads, at least the ones we saw, actually made fun of men, whom they depicted, quite amusingly, as as shallow and loutish. NOW just doesn't get the joke.

One of the "feminist monitors" who contributed to the report remarked: "All the 'watchers' in my front room agreed that Budweiser should NEVER be purchased by any self-respecting woman." Just think of the legions of beer-guzzling feminists who'll show their disgust by switching to Chardonnay.

Just a couple of opines:
-- I agree that no self-respecting woman should drink Budweiser. Especially if it leads to standing up on a table and performing Pee Wee Herman's dance to Tequila.

-- The #4 'best ad' was the FedEx 'cast away' spoof. They commended him for being stupid. They would have ripped him if he had invaded her privacy and used her things for his gain.

-- Their #11 'best' was the ATT Gilligan's Island ad -- is it coincidence that the commercial ended with a man's life (albeit it was The Skipper) in dangerous peril?

-- #14 'best' was Celine Dion's car ad -- note: she wasn't driving and cannot legally drive. Shouldn't they be outraged that Chrysler is perpetuating the myth that women don't belong behind the steering wheel?

-- #66 best (or 9th worst) is the clown drinking beer ad. They said "gay bashing." All I saw was a clown sticking a beer in his bottom. Which I think is more offensive. And I'd think homosexual advocates would be offended that they're presuming homosexual deviance because of it.

-- #68 best (7th worst) -- the young teen who's pregnant -- Kelli and I saw this and went "whooaaah." Thought it was very powerful. Noted good images: dad was present. Mom hugged the daughter. Very realistic, but loving amidst trial. NOW's comments: "Teen use of marijuana may impair judgment, but it doesn't make you pregnant ... Creators of ad have impaired thinking." "I think this is a scare tactic, and that the government wants to blame something for unplanned pregnancies, since of course they won't blame their abstinence-only education." "Abortion is an option that is not acknowledged. Suggests that marijuana is the only reason teens get pregnant. No effort to promote safe sex, which is really the problem." yeah....whattabunchamorons.

-- #72 best (4th worst) -- Terry Tate, office linebacker -- first of all, I loved Terry Tate. They said, "too violent." I thought they'd appreciate his willingess to waylay women and men with equal ferocity for on-the-job laxity. The Corporate world needs more Terry Tates. And one more note -- the humor was about the excessive violence. I guess they missed that. Without that, he'd just be "Terry Tate, office motivational speaker."

--#75 best (the very worst) -- The 'bud' ad about the girl with the mom with 'double wide' thighs. actually, I didn't care for the ad either. and ifI drank beer, I might have even been offended enough to try another brand. But if I were basing my plans on buying beer on the Super Bowl commercials, how pathetic would I be if my purchase decisions were based on whether a commercial made me laugh or not?

disclaimer: I consider myself a feminist. I hold the view that women, like men, were created in the image of God, and were designed with man so as to accomplish the purpose of 'completing' one another. Women deserve the same rights of respect and dignity as men, and hold the same capacity to be brilliant or stupid, profound or profane, inspiring or idiotic. Women should be honored and appreciated for being different, and should be encouraged and empowered to fulfill the roles, responsibilities, and opportunities where their individuals gifts and strengths can be best utilized. But that's what being a feminist means to me.

proverbs #30

You will not see all of heaven the moment you get there. You cannot see all of Rome in six weeks. It will take all eternity to examine the trophies of the New Jerusalem.

domestic discoveries

at home with the two older children, while Kelli is away in Nashville, I've learned a couple of things:

The clothes iron will adequately grill the top of a hot ham & cheese while the frying pan grills the bottom.

A laundry washing machine can only occasionally handle loads of such excess that your three year old has to stand upon it and jump like a winepresser to get the lid closed.

Every man needs a couple pairs of accidently-created pink underwear and undershirts. It keeps you humble and gets you in touch with your sensitive side.

You don't have to agonize over shrinking the majority of your oldest daughter's wardrobe. Now your younger daughter doesn't have to wait all those long years before she's ready to wear the hand-me-downs.

A boy can wear girls bell-bottom pants if you roll up the cuffs and convince him he still looks 'ruff and tuff.'

Cereal is an appropriate meal for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Also, alternative cereals serve as inviting snacks between meals.

A dishwasher will not adequately remove grilled cheese from a clothes iron, even when utilizing it's 'heavy load' option.

signs of the impending apocalypse #25

I thought I'd seen him somewhere else



If I were Putin my two cents into the brain trust, I'd politely threaten the Russians with forced labor if they proceeded with the case. Any compelling comparisons with a ugly gremlin (no matter how nice he may be) may weaken his credibility. After all, if too many comparisons are made, Putin will have a hard time getting gigs on the future global Harry Potter conventions were the big money is to be found.

well, since nobody's asked

I haven't really talked here about my new employment. you can see some of what I'll be involved with here. I'll be the editor for adult missions education for the North American Mission Board, beginning Feb. 24. So, I'm packin' up the family and movin' to Atlanty...Georgia, that is. Peach pits. peanuts. humidity.

We're really excited at the opportunity, though it means stepping out from behind the pulipit and pastoral ministry. I'm sure I'll look for pulpit supply opportunities, and maybe an interim position, eventually. What excites me, though, is being involved in the media ministry (editing 4 publications), being involved in men's ministry conferences, and hopefully (prayerfully) being involved with leading men to get their cabooses (cabeese?) into locomotion for the cause of the Kingdom.

My office has become a leaning tower of boxes, any of which could break a toe. I've relented and decided to use liquor boxes for some of my packing. So, viewing my commentaries and other library ensconced in tequila, beer, gin, and champagne boxes presents an appearance of a major struggle with addiction. If I owned a digital camera, I'd take a photo of it all and label it, inside the pastor's study. Funny, gluttony is just as offensive, but I have no inner turmoil about using the multiple Voortman cookie boxes I got from the grocery store. And no, none of the boxes of any sort had any content in them whatsoever. Thanks for not even assuming that they might've.

Confessionally, I've lamented a bit that I won't be blogging much next week, as I'll be sans computer from the 3rd to the 7th. I do ask for prayers of travel safety to and from Atlanta and for the kids who'll be in Craig with my folks. I've toyed with the idea of post-dating a few entries, but I can't get my autopost to function correctly. I may still attempt to do it, so if my blog has 30 posts in one day, I apologize in advance, and you'll already understand what happened.

proverbs #29

the way of this world is to praise the dead saints and persecute the living ones.

all work and no play...

...means insomnia visits Bryan while Kelli is away. And here is where I was led on a restless night of surfing (thanks to the presurfer for serving as a portal to these fine sites):

The Incredible Dancing Glen. I confess to spending waaayyy too much time here. Glenn, indeed, rocks like an egyptian. Turn up your speakers and prepare to boogie.

the virtual dry-erase board.This isn't its real name. Again, spent an inordinate amount of time here. My finest creation is this. My 3 (almost 4) year-old son's is this. and my daughter Kaylyn (5 1/2) created this. Who's is better? Link your best effort in my comments and I'll select a winner.

handglinding. I'm strongly considering giving up my amateur status in order to enter the professional handgliding circuit where all the big advertising dollars are to be found.

horseballs. No, it's not what you think. trust me.

Iraqi Idol. I actually saw a few minutes of its american counterpart the othernight and actually saw the guy the 'mean judge' (Simon?) said was the worst singer in the world. I don't know about 'worst,' but I'd definitely say he was the most disturbing singer in the world. Any time you have an overweight guy singing Madonna's "like a virgin" and trying to look sexy while doing is a cause for pause to thank God for the remote control.

the interactive alien. an alphabet of extra-terrestrial amusement.

the home despot. I sure hope this isn't the store my dad-in-law is always so eager to shop.

worth1000 photoshop galleries. I enjoyed celebrity time travel and 'miscast' galleries -- and being the big giant dork that I am about language, I particularly enjoyed the 'literalisms.'

proverbs #28

as long as vengeance would seem sweet, self is not dead.

fan-demonium

I heard about this story, and then I saw the doctor talk on Good Morning America. After he gave his explanation, I understood his reasoning better for branding his patient's uterus with the letters of his alma mater. That said, he definitely demonstrated a lapse in good sense. Is this complaint litigation-worthy? Probably not, which is exactly why the complaitant will likely win millions.

Please don't read any more into this than what I write: I'm reminded of how the U of Texas mascot Bevo was garnished with his name (4th paragraph of the link).

I seem to vaguely remember a similar story about a doctor who branded the heel of every baby he delivered. i couldn't find any links to such a story. Did this really happen, or am I making up things that never really happened?

If I ever have need for an internist, he better not be a Husker's fan. And I'm checking my kid's scalps tonight for hidden messages.

the state of the union

before I even get started, I can't help but to wonder how many blogs today have this title.

I don't know that I have a whole lot to bring to the table--politically speaking--in giving any commentary to the president's speech.

And actually, I missed the first half of it because of a Bible study. I came in just as he began speaking about Iraq. And, if it was a tale of two halves as many pundits have declared, I'm glad I caught the half that I did, because I thought he did a phenomenal job.

which brings me to my point -- the state of the UNION.

how tenuous is our identity as a union amidst these perilous days? I still believe that which makes us great is our ability to allow for all differences. Yet, I feel that we are divided on so many fronts that appearances of a union are just that -- an appearance. A facade. an illusion.

The convention of the "opposing party response" following a presidential address is one of the worst ideas to ever come out of our democratic republic. In a time where our country needs galvanizing, the 'response' is nothing more than a 'last word' that rends unity rather than builds it. Moreover, media thrives on division, and willfully gives a Goliathian voice to a Lilliputian presence (see:: peaceniks calling this 'Bush's war'). One of the great shames of my generation is that we appear to be ideologically opposed to any confrontation if it appears to interfere with our immediate priorities of personal gain and comfort. Previous generations understood the notion that at times we must forsake those God-given blessings for a time in order to ensure that others may be able to receive them -- presently and in future generations.

Bush said this (sic)-- liberty is not America's gift, but God's gift to the world. We have been history's greatest recipients of liberty. Accordingly, we have the mandate to be the greatest advocates for it as well. For us to thrive in our own liberty but to not be global advocates for it in the face of obvious oppression is to slap the open hands of the God who has freely given it to us.

Perhaps it is idealistic to propose that we can deliver the hope of liberty to a long-oppressed location such as Iraq. Honestly, I question our country's will to engage is such a worthy battle. Are we steeled to remain for the 'long haul?' Not just to whet the tongues of a suppressed people, but to actually facilitate the feast of freedom's rights with which all men are born. I don't know. But I hope.

May God bless our Union.

Because of what we are about to do, not in spite of it.

proverbs #27

without prayer no work is well done.

my creative crutch

big hunk, the terrific chewy nougat with peanuts

proverbs #26

the only preparation for tomorrow is the right use of today.

signs of the impending apocalypse #23 &24

thanks to Tony for these items of news. To those concerned by what you are about to see, I pledge it won't be terribly racy:

sign #23: in the tradition of Seinfeld's manziere, I present the belly bra.


this item is pictured for women, but is actually being marketed to men, to rein in 'beer bellies.' Now, I'm no role model for physical fitness, but gentlemen, you're pretty much waving the white flag of defeat if you decide to step in to the belly bra. I've got two words for men actually considering making a purchase, and they aren't 'belly bra.' Those words are sit ups.

note to self: listen to convicting voice rather than stifling it with a double whopper with cheese (no onions).

sign #24: chinese serving meals cooked with human milk.

random issues about this problematic news:
1. I think I liked it better when I just thought that Chinese cuisine consisted of cats and dogs.
2. I conscientiously determined not to use the term "breast milk" when I figured that pretty much everyone knows this is the only source of human milk. Right?
3. Certainly, you weren't surprised by the photo I chose to accompany this post. Were you? And it is, I suppose, a real chinese dish...albeit one that I'd likely be inclined to politefully decline.
4. Again, Tony's 2 cents on this are relevant.
5. One last thing.....eeeewwww. You know, I've been through three babies and watched Kelli experience the joys and bonding of nursing. And, yes, its beautiful to see God's provision of an infant's most nutritious sustenance made available through his/her own mother. But God has given us teeth -- molars, bicuspids, incisors, etc. -- for a purpose. We are to leave behind the mother's milk to satiate more carnivorous appetites. For man was created to stalk and prey upon the elusive and wiley double whopper with cheese (and, of course, minus onion).

and then do sit ups.

so the belly bra can stay in the closet.

this just in...

overheard from Cotter playing the garage:

(massive crashing noises)

"oops. that's not a very good one."

(footsteps running away from the scene)

a forwarded proofing funny

from Mikey's funnies:

~ IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts who bought our Easy Sky Diving book, please make the following correction: on page 8, line 7, the words "state zip code" should have read "pull rip cord."

~ It was incorrectly reported last Friday that today is T-shirt Appreciation Day. In fact, it is actually Teacher Appreciation Day.

~ There was a mistake in an item sent in two weeks ago which stated that Ed Burnham entertained a party at crap shooting. It should have been trap shooting.

~ There are two important corrections to the information in the update on our Deep Relaxation professional development program. First, the program will include meditation, not medication. Second, it is experiential, not experimental.

~ In the City Beat section of Friday's paper, firefighter Dwight Brady was misidentified. His nickname in the department is "Dewey." Another firefighter is nicknamed "Weirdo." We apologize for our mistake.

~ Our newspaper carried the notice last week that Mr. Oscar Hoffnagle is a defective on the police force. This was a typographical error. Mr. Hoffnagle is, of course, a detective on the police farce.

~ In a recent edition, we referred to the chairman of Chrysler Corporation as Lee Iacoocoo. His real name is Lee Iacacca. The Gazette regrets the error.

~ Apology: I originally wrote, "Woodrow Wilson's wife grazed sheep on front lawn of the White House." I'm sorry that typesetting inadvertently left out the word "sheep."

~ In one edition of today's Food Section, an inaccurate number of jalapeno peppers was given for Jeanette Crowley's Southwestern chicken salad recipe. The recipe should call for two, not 21, jalapeno peppers.

~ The marriage of Miss Freda vanAmburg and Willie Branton, which was announced in this paper a few weeks ago, was a mistake which we wish to correct.

[forwarded by Renee Altson]

even Col. Klink would see something's going on

Yesterday, I took Kelli to Denver to fly to Nashville. We have to drive around Ft. Carson Army Base in CO. Springs. On an overpass that allows you to view the fort's train yard, we observed row after row after row after...you get the idea...of a menagerie of military vehicles atop flatbed train cars awaiting deployment. Kelli and I just looked at each other in amazement. Two thoughts ran through my mind.

1. I am proud to be an American (cue Lee Greenwood....now)
2. I thank GOD I'm not an Iraqi.

Actually every time I see the army's various planes, copters and troops doing exercises in our sky above (which is occuring with an increasing frequency of late), I think those two thoughts.

This morning, as I returned home to make sure Kaylyn would get to school on time (and she did, thanks for asking), I had to once again pass by the fort and five of its entrances. This was approximately 5:45 a.m. and each entrance was backlogged at least 1 mile (and two of them for more than 2 miles). There was a whole lotta friskin' goin' on as many many many personnel were reporting for duty.

For the vocal minority that wants to inaccurately couch this conflict in terms of oil interests or personal agendas, I am just thankful that we live in a country that will aggressively defend and protect their right to do so, no matter how wrong they happen to be.

a madden-ing statement

words of depth from Big John:

each different situation makes each situation different.

almost 24 hours later, I'm still pondering the implications of this.

proverbs #25

pride often builds the nest in which poverty hatches out its sorrows.

proverbs #24

the self-satisfied can be of no service to God.

humble pie

after stumbling upon Dave Barry's blog, I linked to Ken Layne's blog, where he boasted of being the #2 Ken on google. I thought to myself, self, why not see where you stack up? I didn't rank in the top 100 Bryan's. I quit searching at 100. But to my defense, Ken's is a much more accesible name. I contend with Bryan Adams, Bryan White, William Jennings Bryan and Bryan, Texas (not to mention a like named city in Ohio) . I've never heard of a city named Ken. I even checked to be sure.

My quest was not without its own discovery of hidden gems. I did come across a Christian college named after me, a firm that apparently is simply interested in reseaching me, a seemingly cannabalistic site, and another where someone found a key to my house.

Sadly, I also did not make the top 50 McAnally's, but I am the #9 Bryan McAnally (technically, I'm #8, too, because it references an article about me from my college fraternity's 'where are they now' column). Anyway, I also discovered many McAnally-related photos that have virtually nothing to do with me or my immediate family (insofar as I'm aware).

Well, at least I'm still my wife's husband, my children's daddy, and parent's youngest son, and most important, a child of God and an heir to His promise.

proverb #23

be suspicious of the good that wicked men can praise.

one more thing

go broncos!

out on a limb

my fearless Super Bowl predictions:

-- gatorade will be used as a dousing agent.
-- a groin will be pulled.
-- there will be a battle in the trenches.
-- someone will prove that 'fan' is short for 'fanatic.'
-- John Madden's bus will be referenced.
-- the half-time show will not be a true 'live' performance.
-- cliche's will be abused.

disclaimer: these predictions are for entertainment purposes only and not for basis of wagering.

Btw -- Kaylyn asked me why the two teams have the poision symbol on their helmets.
Hoping to clear up confusion, I explained that if she watched either team too much, it would make her sick.

That's why they call me 'dad.'