sung to the tune of Summer in the City

I'm proud of myself.

I hooked up our swamp cooler.

A minor technical feat, no doubt. But for someone who (to my dad's chagrin, I'm sure) is mechanically deficient, this was a pretty impressive accomplishment.

And don't think I wasn't soaking up the accolades either.

All last night, I kept telling my children, "You better do what I say, I'm the one who brings you cool air. Come cuddle with me, I am Swamp Cooler man."

And then it got cold.

So we turned it off. And my glory escaped me.

no, the earth is round?

okay, this is a fresh revelation for me. I know most of you will say, "well, duh." But its what the Lord spoke to me today, because I needed to be reminded of it.

The Lord loves His church.

For me, I think its been a matter of being so "cant-see-the-forest-for-the-trees" lately. Getting caught up in personalities and conflict and struggle and trial.

Kelli and I have been married for almost eight years. In that time, she has loved me through my own insecurities, my (many) shortcomings, my countless doubts, worries, mistakes, and foibles. She has seen me at my worst. She has seen me be petty, trite, unreasonable, illogical (irony of ironies), and just downright wrong (only once or twice, though). And she's loved me through it.

I believe that this is how God loves His church. His Word says that I'm supposed to love her the same way. And I hope I have. But today in my time with the Lord, I was just reminded that God in His grace loves His church so sacrificially.

He loves us when we bicker over whether or not curtains should be opened or closed during worship.
He loves us when we are griping that there were three praise songs and two hymns, rather than two praise songs and three hymns.
He loves us when even though we continuously, day after day after day, misuse the word worship.
He loves us when we shortchange our missions offering so we can recarpet the kitchen for the third time.
He loves us when we get upset at the pastor for not wearing a tie, even though its 100 degrees in the sanctuary because it's too early in the summer to turn on the AC.
He loves us when we'd rather catch a baseball game than go out with the guys from the church and do repairs on the widows' homes.

I'm not saying God likes it when we do any of these things, and so many others. But He loves us through it. The love of God is nearly incomprehensible to me. The only way I can slightly begin to fathom it is to compare it to the love I have for my wife and children (which is such a discredit to God -- but, He loves me for trying).

Take for example:

Kelsi -- only 15 months old. She can have her back to me and I can call her name 1833 times in a row, and if she's not interested in what I'm interested in, she won't turn around (and yes, her hearing is fine -- we've checked). I can sound stern or silly or syrupy or sanguine or any other adjective starting with s, and she'll completely ignore me. And when it's trivial, I think its cute. But when it's important, I think its infuriating. But my love for her isn't dependent upon her response to me.

Cotter -- 4 years old. The boy hasn't had a healthy day in his life, in terms of his bowels. At 18 months he had an endoscopy and barium enema. We're taking him back to the doctor later today. I could count on one hand the number of times he's had a solid bowel movement. And trying to train him to use the toilet has been one of life's biggest challenges -- no joke. At times I'm extremely sympathetic and at times I'm incredibly angry. But goodness, I love that boy with all my heart and thank God I've been given such a boy to be able to be a daddy for. (please excuse the prepositional conclusion, I'm getting emotional here).

And Kaylyn -- my sweet six-year old. Daddy's "perfect" girl. I've spanked her twice in the past six months. She's apologetic if she even thinks she's done wrong. She is such an easy child to parent. But she's not perfect. She's got friends who "bring her down." She's got the neighbor girl who I overheard saying (again -- no joke) "My dog like to lick my butt when I take off my underwear before baths." yeah, that statement ended playtime that day.

My point is this -- My love for my children, as imperfect as it is, is unwavering regardless of their shortcomings, their obstinances, their influences. How much more so is God's love unwavering for His church, despite our shortcomings, our obstinances, and that which influences us. He doesn't like everything we do. Sometimes He is incredibly heart-broken for us and sometimes He is incredibly angry at us. Sometimes He just shakes His head at the things we allow to influence us. But He loves us with the perfect, holy love of the divine Father.

I'm so thankful He adopted me.

if it were only this easy

my net worth on Blogshares is approaching $500,000. I'll be there by the end of the day.

Kelli continuously reminds me that it is just pretend money.

I know this.

No, really.

It's just pretend.

Crud.

pull over!

a good site for language dorks like myself: The Grammar Police. Read it. Then obey the laws. They're established to protect you.

meanwhile, this just in

Kelli is accompanying me to Atlanta next week.

we're going house hunting.

we're excited about these developments.

what's going to be interesting is having a job and finding a home, but not having a car that is able to get me from one to the other.

I really do trust God in this.

Really.

I do have a peace about this. He is daily working out important details that have probably been part of my life's most testing walk of faith. And even as He reveals one step, another challenge becomes presented. In many ways, this is a painful adventure, but in every recaptured thought, I discover it pales in what Christ gave to redeem me. I just wish I wasn't so shortsighted all the time and given to the need for recaptured thoughts.

when life hands you a lemon

drive it for a few years, put two engines in it, and throw thousands of dollars into the air....

this is my subtle way of saying our Izuzu Rodeo just died.

again.

We were coming home over Rabbit Ears on Monday when the engine ("Reloaded" -- it was the sequel) went into cardiac arrest.

The mechanic pronounced it dead with a phone call on Wednesday.

So, today we're looking at a $6700 repair bill on a car we still owe $6500. This means our only car is a 1979 Cadillac DeVille that you can't drive over 40 miles per hour. To say the least, I'm quite reluctant to pump that money into another engine ("Revolutions") that won't even be guaranteed because the little Rodeo is such a piece of....work.

Pray for us.

Seriously.

We need much wisdom in what to do next.

a good word

from The Federalist:

"He who provides for this life, but takes no care for eternity, is wise for a moment, but a fool forever." --Tillotson

just a thought

from Time Magazine, via Rick Warren's ministry toolbox:

Untapped wealth - U.S. merchants sold approximately $36 billion dollars worth of those little plastic gift cards in 2002. It is estimated that at least $2 billion of those will go unspent! Why not ask church members to give their unused cards for ministry work?

does this trouble you?

From newsmax (full article here), Maureen Dowd has been caught misquoting the President.

Here's what Bush actually said:

"Al Qaeda is on the run. That group of terrorists who attacked our country is slowly but surely being decimated. Right now, about half of all the top Al Qaeda operatives are either jailed or dead. In either case, they're not a problem anymore."

But while Bush was clearly referring to the "top Al Qaeda operatives" who were "either jailed or dead" when he said they were no longer "a problem anymore," Dowd's truncated version made it sound as if Bush was boasting that he'd wiped out al Qaeda entirely.

Here's how the Times' Pulitzer Prize winner covered the president's remarks:

"'Al Qaeda is on the run,' President Bush said last week. 'That group of terrorists who attacked our country is slowly but surely being decimated ... they're not a problem anymore.'"

Now, I know most conservatives know and understand she's a mouthpiece for the left and can't be taken seriously. We know she commonly uses the tired tactics of pompously attempting to make the president look like a nitwit, thus "discrediting" his policy. But if she's guilty of actually purposely misquoting him in order to advance her dogma....

why, she's proven that she fits right in and should be eligible for Media Buffoon of the Year. She'll likely be up for a high-ranking post at the New York Times.

monkey business

Dennis Prager, in The Jewish World Review, comments on the recent event where the whole "if-an-unlimited-number-of-monkeys-had-an-unlimited-amount-of-time-at-typewriters-they'd-produce-Shakespearean(sic)-works' argument that is supposed to lend credence to evolutionary design of the universe.

He writes (full article here):

According to news reports, instructors at Plymouth University put six Sulawesi crested macaque monkeys in a room with a computer and keyboards for four weeks. Though one of the monkeys frequently typed the letter "s", the other monkeys ignored the keyboard, preferring to play with one another and with the ropes and toys placed there. When they did pay attention to the keyboard, one smashed it with a stone and the others repeatedly urinated and defecated on it.

The instructors hastened to note the study was not scientific, given the short duration of time and the small number of monkeys, but some of us find this "study" to be a hilarious vindication of our view of the "enough monkeys for enough time" argument for random creation.

According to the science correspondent of Britain's Guardian newspaper, "assuming each monkey typed a steady 120 characters a minute (itself a preposterous assumption), mathematicians have calculated it would take 10 to the 813th power (10 followed by 813 zeros) monkeys about five years to knock out a decent version of Shakespeare's Sonnet 3 . . . "

To put 10 to the 813th power into perspective, remember that a billion is 10 to the ninth power.

There are many intellectually honest atheists, and there are many intellectually dishonest believers in the Divine. Nevertheless, I believe that any objective person would have to conclude that the belief that everything came about by itself and that randomness is the creator is infinitely less intellectually sound than the belief in a Creator/Designer.

actually, this little pseudo-experiment has done more to prove evolution than anything other "discovery" in history. The monkeys -- with all the urination, defecation, choosing to play with each other instead of doing their job, and pounding out meaningless expressions of nonsensical drivel -- accomplished as much as have the atheistic, evolution-advocating "scientists," ever since the preposterous theory was advanced. So maybe their monkey theory is based on their own primate-like productivity in the past decades coming from the filled laboratories across the globe.

One more thing -- this is 10 to the 813th:

10, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000

That's a whole lotta monkeys to keep pent up in a room for 5 years, even if they were to manage to reproduce the entire New King James version of the Holy Bible. Does OSHA know about this? or the SPCA? Or the Department of Sanitation?

I want to know -- do they get weekends off? Paid medical, dental? a 401k? Overtime?

All I know is I'm not cleaning up after 'em.

But if they did manage to produce something comprehensible, I'd represent them for a 6% fee.

fore!

I know I'm a few days late on this, but I've a life. So sue me. Or at least let me either take a mulligan or get a club's length of relief.

Annika missed the cut.

She finished 96th out of 111.

and one of the guys hadn't golfed on tour for 7 years.

Some want to say < testosterone > A HA! We knew a woman couldn't compete < /testosterone >

I say, "So what?"

I'm the last person to be confused as a NOW advocate, but I was intrigued that she was taking a hack at things, so to speak.

The facts:

She was only a few strokes over par. I've never been within 20 okay 30 okay 35 okay 40 shots of par. So I'm impressed that she did quite well, under such conditions.

She was humble and gracious in her effort. By her own account, it wasn't about 'women-and-men-are-equal.' It was about kicking tail on the LPGA for so long that she just wanted to experience the next level of competition. I admire that in a competitor. She saw where she measured up, and she's returning to her place of dominance, bullying and taking the milk money of her oppononents on the LPGA. I predict she'll never sweat the competition again after having the recent experience she just did.

She brought publicity and interest to a Tiger-less PGA event, which is about as difficult as splitting the atom with a pair of salad tongs while wearing oven mitts. I'm sure it was the PGA accountant you kept hearing yell "You Go Girl!" at every tee box.

Last, and lets not forget this -- it.was.a.game.

in the whole scheme of things, does it really matter if the world's best female golfer plays a couple, or maybe even four, rounds of golf with the boys? About as much as if a man golfed with the ladies, or if Tiger hired an orangutan for his caddie, or if the opinion of a bunch of cheese-eating, wine-swilling surrender monkeys determined the course of global affairs.

you probably already knew this

but I'm a geek. Or so this test says.

all things considered, I'm pretty low on the geek scale (19.72387%). But as my wife has lovingly pointed out, I'm increasing in my geekiness as each year passes.

I knew things were going amiss when my mother-in-law gave me the combination ear/nose hair trimmer as a Christmas gift several years ago.

What's even sadder is that I've had to replace it from overuse.

twice.

Actually, this quiz was nice because it revealed the 80% of the geek world to which I have not been introduced.

So, I push up my horn-rimmed glasses taped at the bridge of the nose, and its off to explore I go (like -- how do you count to 31 on one hand?!?)

something screwy is going on

with my blog.

I wanted to add a list of daily memes to my sidebar, but my template keeps coming up with an antiquated version, though my published template is current. I don't know why this is so, but I don't want to mess things up. So all there is for now is this link.