ii

buh bye

This is the final entry for Clarity Amidst Chaos. Everything from here on will be posted over at Spare Change. Thanks for coming, and I look forward to the next stage of the adventure.

I thank God upon every remembrance of you.

carnival, christian

The Christian Carnival is up, with many good posts.

Also, too, at the same site, you can take part in a poll to gage what matters in the presidential election.

i'm a mess

According to the Color Quiz, I've got all kinds of baggage. I had no idea.

The results are too detailed to reprint. And depressing.

I'm really more of a glass-half-full type guy.

Thanks to Sarah for the downer! (really, it's okay)

box score

Cotter had his last basketball practice/game this morning. They finally got to play against one another. Kelli reports that my son was the stud of the court! He scored fifteen hoops, while two other kids scored one hoop apiece, and nobody else scored at all. The coach valiantly tried to give everyone a chance to play & score, but by the end of the game, even all the kids were shouting, "Give it to Cotter, he'll make it!"

Yeah, I'm proud....so what about it?!?

Baseball starts tonight.

sung to the tune of headin' out

Just a few more hours until Clarity will be a vacant studio, having moved over to roomier digs.

Update your bookmarks to the new location, which is The home of Spare Change.

It will be a rolling Grand Opening, but we're making progress!

playing church

Church is not a building
It is not a business
It is not a Sunday morning
A Wednesday night

Church is not
A committee
A council
Or even a team

Church is a body
A fellowship
A group of believers
United in purpose, bound by faith

Saved by grace
Worshipping in truth
Loving one another
Serving all

Church is
God-ordained
Christ-focused
Holy Spirit empowered

Anything less is heresy
Anything more is legalism
Quit playing church
And start being it

an honest question

Why isn't this offensive to African Americans?

I can't deride Clinton for this label that other people have placed upon him. And that he comes from Arkansas and now has offices in Harlem, he has an undeniable level of popularity with African Americans (though census reports seem to show that fewer blacks were under the poverty level in 2001, than were in either 94, 96, or 98).

It just seems to be to smack of condescension when the person asking to be the "next black president" hails from Massachusetts (with a total African American population of under a half million), and on his own campaign site, he gives special attention to Native Americans and GLBTs, but not to African Americans.

In fact, it appears his greatest tie to the African American Community is that he married one, albeit one who is decidedly caucasian in her complexion and worth $400 million dollars.

last man standing

To nobody's surprise, Kerry has sealed the deal for his side.

-- Most liberal senator in Congress.
-- 19 years of Gollum-like leadership.
-- Anti-American rhetoric and defunding the military are two of his trademark policies, unless he's actually questioned about them, then he cries about having his patriotism questioned.
-- Apparently served in Vietnam, though you'd never know about it.
-- Has a serious identity crisis, known to repeatedly ask, "Don't you know who I am?"
-- Cannot confidently acknowledge the provision of God's blessings in our history.

Oh yeah...his message is going to resonate.

so what do you think?

Michael sent me a note to let me know he saw my testimony over at mostimportantthing.org

Y'all should take the few minutes necessary to add your own.

And check out some of these videos to remind you that we all still have work to do.

keeps on tickin

The Passion took in another $10 million yesterday....($135 million total)

try the prime rib, its delicious

Cap'n Ed picked my caption as the winner for his contest.

muchos gracias, el capitan!

a friendly reminder

We're living with the end in "site" over here at Clarity Amidst Chaos. The proverbial plug is to be pulled in just 30 or so hours. Then, you'll have to find us under the new Spare Change Banner:



We've got a great team put together to cover a wide range of subjects, and I'm very excited about it.

Tomorrow you'll receive link/blogroll update information.

Thanks for being a part of this!

you have the right to remain stupid

from Mikey:

RULES FOR BANK ROBBERS
According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes," committed by young male repeat offenders who apparently don't know the first thing about their business. For instance it is reported that in spite of the widespread use of surveillance cameras, 76 percent of bank robbers use no disguise, 86 percent never study the bank before robbing it, and 95 percent make no long-range plans for concealing the loot. Thus, this advice is offered to would-be bank robbers, along with examples of what can happen if the rules aren't followed:

1. Pick the right bank. Clark advises that you don't follow the lead of the fellow in Anaheim, Cal., who tried to hold up a bank that was no longer in business and had no money. On the other hand, you don't want to be too familiar with the bank. A California robber ran into his mother while making his getaway. She turned him in.

2. Approach the right teller. Granted, this is harder to plan. One teller in Springfield, Mass., followed the holdup man out of the bank and down the street until she saw him go into a restaurant. She hailed a passing police car, and the police picked him up. Another teller was given a holdup note by a robber, and her father, who was next in line, wrestled the man to the ground and sat on him until authorities arrived.

3. Don't sign your demand note. Demand notes have been written on the back of a subpoena issued in the name of a bank robber in Pittsburgh, on an envelope bearing the name and address of another in Detroit, and in East Hartford, Conn., on the back of a withdrawal slip giving the robber's signature and account number.

4. Beware of dangerous vegetables. A man in White Plains, N.Y., tried to hold up a bank with a zucchini. The police captured him at his house, where he showed them his "weapon."

5. Avoid being fussy. A robber in Panorama City, Cal., gave a teller a note saying, "I have a gun. Give me all your twenties in this envelope." The teller said, "All I've got is two twenties." The robber took them and left.

6. Don't advertise. A holdup man thought that if he smeared mercury ointment on his face, it would make him invisible to the cameras. Actually, it accentuated his features, giving authorities a much clearer picture. Bank robbers in Minnesota and California tried to create a diversion by throwing stolen money out of the windows of their cars. They succeeded only in drawing attention to themselves.

7. Take right turns only. Avoid the sad fate of the thieves in Florida who took a wrong turn and ended up on the Homestead Air Force Base. They drove up to a military police guardhouse and, thinking it was a tollbooth, offered the security men money.

8. Provide your own transportation. It is not clever to borrow the teller's car, which she carefully described to police. This resulted in the most quickly-solved bank robbery in the history of Pittsfield, Mass.

9. Don't be too sensitive. In these days of exploding dye packs, stuffing the cash into your pants can lead to embarrassing stains, not to mention severe burns in sensitive places--as bandits in San Diego and Boston painfully discovered.

10. Consider another line of work. One nervous Newport, R.I., robber, while trying to stuff his ill-gotten gains into his shirt pocket, shot himself in the head and died instantly. Then there was the case of the hopeful criminal in Swansea, Mass., who, when the teller told him she had no money, fainted. He was still unconscious when the police arrived.

interesting

WSJ BOTW points out a randomly discovered link of Tipper Gore at Yahoo. That she is listed as an enemy of freedom. Following the link takes you to a biographical webpage (apparently an official document from Clinton's days), that gives no other hint on why she has been classified as such.

I'm no fan of the Gore clan, but I personally think Tipper is the greatest thing going for Al.

revised numbers

The Passion passed $125 million for the weekend.

Best Wednesday opening movie ever.

Even better, more people are talking about Jesus than before.

Ahhh...these are good days.

May all the discussion lead to some trusting in Him for salvation.

protecting our borders

At work, the proliferation of viruses has caused our IT watchdogs to quarantine any files with a .zip extension.

This no doubt rocks your world.

rumsfeldisms

I enjoyed this compendium immensely.

My favorites:

Donald Rumsfeld
"We aren't running out of targets; Afghanistan is."

"I'm not into this detail stuff. I'm more concepty."

"Our task, your task... is to try to connect the dots before something happens. People say, 'Well, where's the smoking gun?' Well, we don't want to see a smoking gun from a weapon of mass destruction."

a house divided

Tim Blair adroitly reveals the bias at CNN, using its own Gollum-like treatment of unemployment statistics. It's worth the read ---much more interesting than I've made it out to be.

a paradox wrapped in an enigma just for men

This week on The Apprentice, contestants try to solve the mystery of Trump's hair.

the fugitive

Last night, flipping through the channels, we came across The Fugitive. The following is pretty close to actual discussion:

Cotter: Hey, that's Han Solo!
Me: That's right.
Kaylyn: Why is he running?
Me: Because they think he did something bad.
Kaylyn: So Han Solo is a bad guy?
Me: No, he didn't do what they said he did.
Kaylyn: So who did?
Me: A one-armed man.
Cotter: Hey! That's 'K.'
Me: Oh yeah. That's right. Agent K is trying to catch Han Solo.
Cotter: Where's 'J?'
Me: He's not in this movie?
Cotter: Is that singing dog in this one?
Me: No, he's not in this one.
Cotter: Who let the dogs out? Woof woof woof woofwoof woof!
Me (to Kelli): That's a little unrealistic...the Chicago Police would not shoot at him if he was unarmed.
Kaylyn: What do you mean unarmed? He's has two arms. I thought you said a one-armed man was the bad guy. I'm confused!
Me: No...wait...Han Solo...does have two arms....'unarmed' means he doesn't have a weapon.
Kaylyn: Han Solo uses his arms as weapons?
Kelli (to me): I am laughing at you, Professor 'Inside the Actor's Studio.'
Me: Let's see what else is on....

that's gold, jerry!

I've decided to submit my Return of the Kerry submission to this week's carnival of the vanities in honor of the movie's clean sweep at the Oscars (and who else loved M. Moore getting stomped by the war elephant in the opening montage?!?!), and my own conviction that the frighteningly-tall schizophrenic legislator has an evil "I" more dangerous than Sauron.

i passed. do you?

Can you place all fifty states?

According to the quiz, all of Christopher's students should be able to do it...

its official

We no longer have any babies in our home.

Kelsi turns two years old today.

And if you ask her how old she is, she'll either hold up one finger and say "fee," or she'll hold up the international sign for "I love you" and say, "I don't know what to do."

where's lee greenwood when you need him?

You're the United States of America!

In school, you were probably the guy who stuck up for the little guy when nobody else would.  You keep your promises when nobody else will, you hold other people's feet to the fire to do the right thing, and you're awfully proud of yourself.   You're pretty inventive and have a really good sense of justice.  You just never get around to asking others to do their fair share, and you get a lot of flak for your independence.  Incredible potential remains yours to take advantage of.
Take the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

Just so you know, I took this quiz from the perspective of someone who thinks poorly of America, and I changed the text to suit my tastes. I'm thrilled with the results, and I make no apologies!

I love my country!

take two and call me in the morning

Here's a little quiz...match up the Corporate Pharmaceutical with the malady it claims to treat or cure (click on the link to cheat).

1. aranesp
2. viracept
3. symbyax
4. mepron
5. augmentin
6. neumega
7. malarone
8. wellbutrin
9. namenda
10. diflucan
11. crestor
12. gabatril
13. hepsera
14. novantrone
15. kadian
16. bextra
17. oxytrol
18. zoladex
19. caverject
20. phenargan
21. pentassa
22. relpax
23. zemuron
24. femring
25. geodon
26. mucinex



a. lower your cholesterol
b. thinning respiratory expectorant
c. sinusitis
d. erectile dysfunction
e. depression
f. anemia
g. female hormone replacement
h. bipolar depression
i. alzheimer's
j. pain relief
k. neuromuscular anesthesia
l. migraines
m. cattle nutrition
n. HIV
o. yeast infections
p. malaria
q. multiple sclerosis
r. hepatitis b
s. arthritis
t. overactive bladder
u. motion sickness
v. low platelets due to chemotherapy
w. schizophrenia
x. epilepsy
y. chronic bowel disease
z. prostate

jesus christ superstar

The Friday update for The Passion is a very respectable $65 million. It could easily hit $100 million by Monday.

a tale of two quizzes

Theognome has written two quizzes. They are some of the better ones I've seen.

Here are my results:


Which Old Testament Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla



You are the Colossus of Rhodes!

Detail, detail, detail! Any job worth doing is
worth doing correctly and accurately. Like the
Colossus of Rhodes, you will seek the most
efficient and logical way of accomplishing a
task. Never one to rush decisions, you take
into account all available information before
choosing a path. Neat, tidy and organized, you
would rather not lead a group but rather stand
alone. Your downfall is often getting bogged
down in the details.


What Wonder of the Ancient World are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

well, since you asked

Kin (a well-writing Jewish blogger), asks from the couch, in all sincerity, why Christians don't hold to all the Bible. There's many of you deep thinkers who should engage him in this invitation to dialogue.

Be humble, seek to learn.

self-disclosure saturday

I found this over at whimsical chaos, and since I always seek to provide clarity amidst chaos, I use that as my excuse to continue the meme.

The instructions:Copy this list into your blog and place in bold the things that you have in common with me. For the items that you do NOT bold, replace them with a fact about you. Leave a link in comments so I can see which of you total strangers are my dopplegangers.

I love Vanilla Coke.
My zodiac sign is Cancer.
I love soda and 2% milk.
I love to read.
I read every day.
I don't fret a bit if I don't have something in the house to read -- I'll just go to the net or the library.
I don't smoke.
I can't stand to be around smoke.
I don't understand why people smoke.
My current jobs are editor, husband, father, churchman, Christ-follower.
I like broccoli.
I love ice cream.
One of my favorite game shows is "Jeopardy!".
I love my mom.
I have lived in Texas.
I can't eat puppies because I think they are tooo cute to eat.
I have Grannie Annie and Grandma Marge left as grandparents.
I don't have any pets.
I've never been to Bermuda or Jamaica.
My favorite colors are navy blue and forrest green.
I am a Neil Diamond fanatic.
I rather be the driver than the passenger.
I enjoy a variety of musical styles.
My chief creative outlet is writing.
"The Apprentice" is one of my favorite TV shows.
I think chocolate is overrated.
I love meeting new people.I love my family.
Spring is my favorite season.
I'd rather be cold than hot.
I don't know how to sew, though we have 2 sewing machines in our home.
I appreciate and use digital cameras.
Our kitchen walls are olive green.
I love to try new foods.
I love learning new things.
I was fluent in Spanish as a student, but once I quit using it, I forgot almost all of it.
I loathe buying all accessories and supplies for a new hobby (I prefer simple things).
I like little containers for stuff.
I don't mind 'messy,' but I can't stand 'dirty.'
I am 31 years old.
I LOVE talking on the phone much.
I hate telemarketing phone calls.
I don't use the word "hate" loosely when it comes to people.
I am curious about people, especially about how other people live.
I'm a pretty traditional person.
I love to watch other people dance.
I can dance if everyone around me wants a good laugh.
I love, love, love, to sing on road trips. Loud, belting, 80's music.I'm not to bad at singing.
I stink at ice skating *so* much.
I love board games.
I don't drink.
I really enjoy thoughtful gifts, even if they cost nothing.
I have grown to love canteloupe.
I would never have a pet snake.
I loathe liberalism.
I love lying in bed and talking with my wife about life.
I really enjoy having "me time" occasionally.
I am a kind of a blogging junkie.
I go to church often.
I believe in God.
I'm smart enough to know that there's lots of smart people and others who just think they are.
I have been known to procrastinate on occasion.
I don't think procrastinating is my friend, and yet I'll dance with her if I'm not thrilled about the alternative.
I always try to be a good person.
I have a knack for remembering things.
I have three children.
I have been married for over 5 years.
I strive to do what is right. Sometimes I mess up.
I am decent at word games.
I could eat Chinese food once a month.
I like to people-watch.
I love getting handwritten letters.
I prefer sending emails.
I love to take pictures of almost anything.
I don't get bored much -- there's always something fascinating to discover.
I enjoy cooking and like trying new recipes.
I love the smell of cooking garlic and butter.
I like candles more than incense.
I am so not the perfectionist, except in little things like my CD, DVD collections, and blogging.
I have never been arrested.
I have 3 kids (in case you missed it earlier....the next person needs to change this to "cats" or something).
I love foreign movies and tv shows.
I love to watch movies.
I don't have any learning disablities (other than thick-headedness), and I don't know my IQ.
I love being dirty -- If I'm playing a sport or working, but that's the only time.
I wish all the people I love lived close to me.
I like minty.
I am very easy going.
I am a planner -- by necessity.
I make lists, but rarely stick to them.
I have a mind.
I don't care if I own a convertible someday.
I love to shop for other people, even though I rarely know what to get them.
I liked the movie "Moulin Rouge."
I getting better at HTML.
I appreciate honesty.
I cannot stand it when someone lies to me.
I have six nieces and nephews.
I love to help people.
I love to give people gifts.
Winter is great.
I would buy more things for people just because ~ if I had more money.
I love to travel.
I love hotels.
I like eating out occasionally.
I am not the quiet observer.
The smell of Vicks Vap-o-Rub totally calms me.
I love to try the testers and free samples at stores.
I prefer showers to baths
An extra hot Caramel Macchiato extra caramel is one of my favorite drinks.
Jesus rocks!

a word of encouragement

I've spent some time reading your entries, and I'd like to offer some advice/encouragement. I'll leave it up to you what you think is from God and what is from some guy across the blogosphere. If its from the guy, throw it out...if you think some of it might be from the Lord, then hold on to it.

I've been praying for you since you shared your struggles and I praise God for your effort to move beyond the temptation of your flesh. You will never regret determining to live in God's spiritual reality which requires to see your life through eyes of faith that are almost always at odds with the seemingly very real deception of the world. Immersing yourself in the word of God and surrounding yourself with other children of God will help you remain pure and pursue the faith life.

I want to encourage you to do a couple of small things that may help in your effort. The first small thing to do is to change the image on your banner. I don't know who that is, but it is an image that could be a stumbling block to you or others...King David committed not to set any unwholesome image before his eyes, because he knew too well what can happen when one looks upon something that draws his eyes off God and to the lusts of his flesh.

I also commend you on your effort to be a friend to the guy who is having such a hard time with his own personal circumstances. You are a true friend indeed to be willing to give him your time and empathy while he goes through his own traumas. I just want to caution you to protect yourself as you minister to him, because this young man struggles with the same thing you struggle with, and it could be very easy for you, despite being well-intentioned, to fall into a sin if you are not deliberate to avoid it. I just encourage you to have another person present in your conversations and ministry to your friend -- a person who can pray with you, pray for you both, and to hold you accountable to stay true to the path of righteousness. Remember, too, that you are doing the best and mightiest work on his behalf when you faithfully take his need to the throne of grace and ask the Lord to intercede in his life.

Friend, at least to in my observation, the thread running through almost every one of your blog entries is the sincere quest to discover love. You sought it in a woman, and it was unrequited. You sought to replace those feelings in subsequent efforts, and have never been satisfied. It is no easy effort to find the one person who can provide what we all need. Subsequently many, many, many (I could keep typing that forever and still not have written it enough) people either pick the wrong person or settle for something far less than God's best. My only suggestion in this quest is to completely abandon it.

I'm not suggesting monasticism -- I just suggest pursuing the love of God instead. He has said if you seek Him with your whole heart you will find Him. He will meet your needs, and He does desire that you be satisfied with Him. I cannot promise that He has a woman for you, but I can promise if you seek Him with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, you will be satisfied with His will, as He works it out through you.

Once again, I appreciate your heart to follow the Christ. Renew your thoughts continually, letting the Spirit capture every idea and desire and allowing Him to transform it to a belief and action that brings glory to God. I continue to pray for you and I praise God today for the victory He promises is in front of you.

sounding it out

Cotter (reading): Daddy...
Me: Yes?
C: What's this word?
M: How is it spelled?
C: P..E...N...N...Y
M: Sound out each letter
C: Puh Ehh NNNN NNNN Yuh
M: Remember, when there's a 'y' at the end, it makes an "eee" sound.
C: Oh. Right.
M: Try again.
C: Puh...Ehh...NNN...EEE...Hey, I got it!
M: What is it?
C: Penis!

its one of those 'you have to be there' jokes

Etherfarm has a hilarious post on Californian concept of US geography.

Now that I live in Back East, I can reflect on my days of growing up in Death Valley, just a stone's throw from the state of Aspen. Aaaah, such fond days, indeed.

Thanks to the Mog, who I have blogrolled, by the way (for his/her own content, not for calling my Kerry's Blues post "brilliant"), for the link.

what do you call a dog with no legs?

Does it really matter what you call it?

Anyway, I read this caption before I looked closely at the photo, and at first thought vets were being a little extreme:

RALEIGH, N.C. -- A five-legged dog discovered near a state park has undergone successful surgery to remove two of her legs. (11/26/03 AP photo)

but then I saw the photo and decided they probably did the right thing.

nascar dads unite!

Fans at the Daytona 500 bounce an inflated Air Force One balloon across the crowd in pre-race festivities.

fudging the numbers

In the comments section of the evangelical outpost's plea for more biblical movies from Mel Gibson, was the insight that The Passion garnered more green in one day than Bowling For Columbine grossed altogether.

Michael Moore is reported to blame careless crucifix and cat-o-nine-tails manufacturers for the murder of Jesus, driven by wealthy fudge-hungry conservatives of the day, including Charleton Heston, still relaxing in comfort after parting the Red Sea and leading the NRA* through its divided waters.



*National Rod Association

sung to the tune of heart of glass

Heart of Crystal


What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla


via Jen

rotk

Math for Return of the Kerry:

an observation

The office is not the place to try out the fluency of a newly acquired blaccent.

Boss³: Good Morning, White.
Bradlee Wentworth White, III: Whazzzzaaa?
Boss³: Okaaaay....hey, I sent your report to the VP this morning.
White: no you di-int.
Boss³: Umm....yes, yes I did. And he liked what he saw.
White: Fo shizzle my bizzle? Awwite!
Boss³: (silence, stunned)

fresh from the 99 cent bin

Blogger Top O' The Box Office:

Quantum Tea's bad movie ID list.

Joshua's effort.

Dowtown Chick's Trivia.

Tim's Film.

Disclaimer: Long text entries were cut this week, because the judges were looking for the stylistic answer of Short Form...short form.*


*By this criteria, my own submission didn't even make my cut, so don't feel bad. It has a lot to do with the ongoing viral war taking place over here, and the subsequent short attention span directly related to it.

for the record

The Passion took in between $15 and $20 million in its first day.

Update: LJ reports it has earned over $26 million.

the most exciting rose ceremony ever

Like Tony, I sat with my bride and watched the finale of the Batchelorette the other night. Unlike in previous seasons, I had not seen any of this go-around, so I wasn't wound tight with any emotional baggage.

I could tell within the first two minutes that she should have picked the guy not named Ian. So of course I was completely unsuprised when she picked the guy with no job and a fear of commitment who just happened to be named Ian.

I did see that the next Batchelor scheduled to hit the airwaves is Jesse Palmer, the back-up quarterback for the NY Giants who managed to throw for 500 yards, 3 touchdowns and 4 interceptions this past season. I'm curious to know if there's a stipulation in his contract for fines or suspensions for conduct detrimental to the team. As cheesy as this is certain to be, you can bet I'll tune if they promise a cameo by Al & John, especially if they bring along the Telestrator.

can you resist?

I made it till about three-quarters of the way through before I gave in.

passion plans

We're probably going to go see the movie on Tuesday. Our pastor has offered to watch our children that evening. Monday night is Kelsi's second birth anniversary, so we're going to celebrate that on Monday.

Pastor Jim was also very gracious in offering/allowing me to baptize Cotter, which I accepted. We have to figure out logistics since we don't have a baptismal and the waters are pretty cold around here. We're seeing if any family is going to make efforts to come, too. So we'll see. But I'm very appreciative of his willingness to let me have the privilege.

It was actually very cool. He and Stephanie, his wife were out watching The Passion the night Cotter was saved. Pastor Jim said that coming home and getting to talk to Cotter on the phone after seeing the movie brought everything together and really made the depiction of Christ's sacrifice really even more impacting.

No doubt, the same thing will be on my mind in a few days.

git the lil buggers

this held my attention to the count of 620, and only because I found some reason to not stop 'til I could get 'em all in one fell swoop.

crazy day

We had an inch of snow fall here in the North Georgia region, which is incorrectly seen as a sign of the Apocalypse, shutting down the world. We had a delayed opening at work, which set everything back by about a century and a half.

So, I have spent the day working on an abacus, setting type letter-by-letter, slogging steadily away on our annual plan book. When I began the day by looking out the window and seeing a light white blanket covering the earth, I thought it was a foreshadowing of a quiet, calm day....and its been everything but that.

On a positive note, boss⁴ bought lunch for everyone who braved the Blizzard of '04^TM and made it in to the office. For everyone, a date with Papa John and his inevitable Italian mistress Ustione Del Cuore.


*Burning of the Heart

responding to passion-ate criticism

Roger Friedman, over at Fox, has come out with a criticism of The Passion. I cannot label it a review, because it doesn't. Rather, it is an accusation, one that requires a bit of fisking.

He writes:
Accusation:
Is the movie anti-Semitic? Several reviewers have already said it is. I can tell you this: Thanks to Gibson, when non-Jews around the world now see the Jewish prayer shawl, the tallis, on the heads of praying Jews, they will think, 'Oh yeah, those were worn by the angry crowds in "The Passion" who insisted that Jesus be killed and then patiently watched him be tortured to death.'

Response:

Matthew 26:59-67
Now the chief priests and the whole Council kept trying to obtain false testimony against Jesus, so that they might put Him to death. They did not find any, even though many false witnesses came forward. But later on two came forward, and said, "This man stated, 'I am able to destroy the temple of God and to rebuild it in three days.'"

The high priest stood up and said to Him, "Do You not answer? What is it that these men are testifying against You?" But Jesus kept silent. And the high priest said to Him, "I adjure You by the living God, that You tell us whether You are the Christ, the Son of God."

Jesus said to him, "You have said it yourself; nevertheless I tell you, hereafter you will see THE SON OF MAN SITTING AT THE RIGHT HAND OF POWER, and COMING ON THE CLOUDS OF HEAVEN."

Then the high priest tore his robes and said, "He has blasphemed! What further need do we have of witnesses? Behold, you have now heard the blasphemy; what do you think?"

They answered, "He deserves death!" Then they spat in His face and beat Him with their fists; and others slapped Him, and said, "Prophesy to us, You Christ; who is the one who hit You?"

Accusation:
Thanks to Gibson, we are reminded that Jesus' friend Judas ? a Jew ? was easily sold out for some gold that was thrown at him in exchange for his betrayal. It's the return of the money-grubbing Jew, straight out of the old anti-Semite playbook.

Response:

Matt. 26:14-16
Then one of the twelve, named Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, "What are you willing to give me to betray Him to you?"

And they weighed out thirty pieces of silver to him. From then on he began looking for a good opportunity to betray Jesus.

Accusation:
There's more, of course, but none of this is a revelation at this point. Gibson's Jews are caricatures with bulbous noses. To say they lack compassion is an understatement. They are almost always pictured as an angry, unrelenting mob that wants Jesus dead no matter what. It's so stupid that it's almost not anti-Semitic. It just makes Gibson look like an idiot.

Response:

Matthew 27:37-44
And above His head they put up the charge against Him which read, "THIS IS JESUS THE KING OF THE JEWS." At that time two robbers were crucified with Him, one on the right and one on the left. And those passing by were hurling abuse at Him, wagging their heads and saying, "You who are going to destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, save Yourself! If You are the Son of God, come down from the cross."

In the same way the chief priests also, along with the scribes and elders, were mocking Him and saying, "He saved others; He cannot save Himself. He is the King of Israel; let Him now come down from the cross, and we will believe in Him.

"HE TRUSTS IN GOD; LET GOD RESCUE Him now, IF HE DELIGHTS IN HIM; for He said, 'I am the Son of God.'" The robbers who had been crucified with Him were also insulting Him with the same words.

Accusation:
But the real problem with "The Passion" is that it is graphic beyond belief, and unrelenting. How anyone will be able to sit through this thing is the real mystery. There is blood, blood, everywhere. The violence toward Jesus is sadistic and grotesque. Basically, the entire second half of the film is spent watching Jesus endure physical torture never before seen in a movie. By the time it's done, actor James Caviezel's body is a map of bloody rivers and lakes with craters of flesh excised from his torso.

Response:

Matthew 27:27-36
Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus into the Praetorium and gathered the whole Roman cohort around Him. They stripped Him and put a scarlet robe on Him. And after twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on His head, and a reed in His right hand; and they knelt down before Him and mocked Him, saying, "Hail, King of the Jews!"

They spat on Him, and took the reed and began to beat Him on the head. After they had mocked Him, they took the scarlet robe off Him and put His own garments back on Him, and led Him away to crucify Him.

As they were coming out, they found a man of Cyrene named Simon, whom they pressed into service to bear His cross. And when they came to a place called Golgotha, which means Place of a Skull, they gave Him wine to drink mixed with gall; and after tasting it, He was unwilling to drink.

And when they had crucified Him, they divided up His garments among themselves by casting lots. And sitting down, they began to keep watch over Him there.

Isaiah 52:12-53:5
Behold, My servant will prosper,
He will be high and lifted up and greatly exalted.

Just as many were astonished at you, My people,
So His appearance was marred more than any man
And His form more than the sons of men.

Thus He will sprinkle many nations,
Kings will shut their mouths on account of Him;
For what had not been told them they will see,
And what they had not heard they will understand.

Who has believed our message?
And to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?

For He grew up before Him like a tender shoot,
And like a root out of parched ground;
He has no stately form or majesty
That we should look upon Him,
Nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him.

He was despised and forsaken of men,
A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief;
And like one from whom men hide their face
He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.

Surely our griefs He Himself bore,
And our sorrows He carried;
Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten of God, and afflicted.

But He was pierced through for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our iniquities;
The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him,
And by His scourging we are healed.

Accusation:
Is this disgusting? You bet. It's also puzzling, because what Gibson hasn't done in "The Passion" is explain his love of Christ or his own passion or devotion. We have no idea why Christ is so reviled by the Jews, what he's done to earn their anger, or what he's done to earn Gibson's respect. From the moment the film begins, Jesus is simply a target for unbridled, unrestrained bloodlust. Yes, we get to see the nails driven through him, blood spurting in every direction, skin being torn in the process.

Response:

Romans 3:9-23
What then? Are we better than they? Not at all; for we have already charged that both Jews and Greeks are all under sin;as it is written,
"THERE IS NONE RIGHTEOUS, NOT EVEN ONE;

THERE IS NONE WHO UNDERSTANDS,
THERE IS NONE WHO SEEKS FOR GOD;

ALL HAVE TURNED ASIDE, TOGETHER THEY HAVE BECOME USELESS;
THERE IS NONE WHO DOES GOOD,
THERE IS NOT EVEN ONE."

"THEIR THROAT IS AN OPEN GRAVE,
WITH THEIR TONGUES THEY KEEP DECEIVING,"
"THE POISON OF ASPS IS UNDER THEIR LIPS";

"WHOSE MOUTH IS FULL OF CURSING AND BITTERNESS";

"THEIR FEET ARE SWIFT TO SHED BLOOD,

DESTRUCTION AND MISERY ARE IN THEIR PATHS,

AND THE PATH OF PEACE THEY HAVE NOT KNOWN."

"THERE IS NO FEAR OF GOD BEFORE THEIR EYES."
Now we know that whatever the Law says, it speaks to those who are under the Law, so that every mouth may be closed and all the world may become accountable to God; because by the works of the Law no flesh will be justified in His sight; for through the Law comes the knowledge of sin. But now apart from the Law the righteousness of God has been manifested, being witnessed by the Law and the Prophets,
even the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all those who believe; for there is no distinction; for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

Summary:
This man's problems may seem directed at Gibson, but in reality his objections are in a God who would see fit to allow His own Son to bear the iniquities of the rest of us. Charges of anti-Semitism ring hollow when the accounts are evidenced by historical texts (which is why the gospel of Matthew is the text used here, for it was written primarily to a Jewish audience, as were Romans and Isaiah). Furthermore, why is it that when Jesus is depictively maligned as in The Last Temptation of Christ, there is no cry of anti-Semitism, but when Gibson sticks to the record, he's accused of inciting racial hatred and violence? Jesus considered Himself a Jew. He willingly went to the cross under the banner of King of the Jews. Agree with His claims or not, He was/is One of the Jewish People. Certainly, it is not unreasonable to grant him intrinsic respect for that reason alone.

It's been said elsewhere, effectively. The Jewish leadership of the day is culpable for conspiring to kill Jesus of Nazareth. Even so, each one of us, of every tribe, and every race, and every creed, is culpable today for His death. It is not anti-Semitic to reveal the well-recorded truth that Jewish history is not completely sanitized and victimized, especially when people of other-than-Jewish heritage claim a responsibility as well.

Gibson is not beholden to give more, or even different context. In fact, doing so would not solve the problem, it would only offer more fodder for controversy. His vision as an artist, as a creative person, and as a believer, is to tell enough of the story to compel others to seek Truth. This alone is a worthwhile endeavor:

Jeremiah 29:13
'You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.

a modest proposal

Much uproar has been made lately regarding the epidemic problem facing American workers in the technology sector regarding the outsourcing of their jobs to counterparts in India and other far away locales (as this story exemplifies).

I believe there is a simple solution that, like the nose on the proverbial face, is quite plain.

The answer? Reality Television.

As the guru Mark Burnett has demonstrated, America will watch just about anything produced under this "big tent" of pseudo-entertainment programming. So, with a glut of RTV ideas and an increasing cast of out-of-work techies, we may just have a formula for continued prosperity in this land of ilk and money.

From the mundane to the sublime, from the insipid to the inspiring, there is a RTV option out there for every outsourced coder. And RTV can capitalize on the range of emoticons boiling over out there, from rage to resentment, from despondency to even deeper despondency. And while the statiscal evidence is nowhere to be found, it is logical to assume that a contestant's willingness to partake in the self-debasing and ludicrous is directly proportional to the length of time that person has been stuck eating Ramen Noodles and Pop Tarts.

Options abound in this civil union made in Heaven (Heights, Massachussetts, of all places). Playing up on the outsourcing theme, a group of coders could be stranded on an Indonesian island with only a single laptop and a 24.4 modem. From variations on The Apprentice theme to complete a complete ripoff of The Mole ("Who is undermining the team, giving away work to Bangledesh?"), there's more viewing opportunities that a TiVo with a full hard drive.

And once their run in front of the camera comes to an end, alumni can then clog the market of public speakers talking about their experience. They can discuss important topics like:

• what went on behind the scenes


• how the editing painted a totally inaccurate picture of who they really are


• what's up with Donald Trump's hair (piece)


• yes, Joe Rogan does hit on every single female


• Corbin & Stephen's continued inability to catch the Mole


• how life after RTV is strangely and sadly a lot like life before RTV

Remember Desperation + Short Attention Spans * Farcical Situations = Ratings Success.

Let's meet the challenge America. RTV is the answer to our outsourcing dilemma.

a recommendation

from Mikey a while back, but so good it has to be shared. It comes via the UK, hence some spelling variations:

25TH February 2004

Private and Confidential

FROM:
Mrs A Witness
Acceptance House
Valley of Change
PEACETOWN
CU4 JOY

TO:
Mr A Seeker
14 Lost Hill
Grotsville
Sinn City
RU1 YET

Dear Sir

Re: Reference in support of Application for position of 'Saviour'

Thank you for your letter requesting a personal reference for Jesus of Nazareth in support of his application to join you in the position of 'saviour' in your life. I am delighted to be in a position to give him my highest recommendation.

I have known Jesus for the past sixteen years and have found him to be an honest, reliable and trustworthy person. His dual qualifications as 'Son of Man' and 'Son of God' place him in a unique and, I believe, more than adequate position to fulfill all the necessary requirements for the position in question. In addition, his life--revealing as it does the capability to perform miracles, teach with authority and to forgive sins -- is further evidence of his suitability for the role of saviour. Furthermore, I urge you to consider perhaps the most outstanding of his achievements - that he rose from the dead - precisely to bring about our salvation. This claim is supported by historical evaluation and by numerous witnesses and is perhaps the most conclusive proof of his power and suitability for the position of saviour in your life.

His reputation as an unrivalled leader in his field is well deserved and his ability should not be underestimated. His undeniable charisma and personal qualities of understanding, compassion, gentleness, patience and love inspire the fiercest loyalty in his work colleagues and friends. He has an uncompromising devotion to furthering the individual personal development of others. He is also an activist in society promoting with great persuasive prowess and wisdom such concepts as justice, tolerance and the highest moral standards. To this date I have never known him to be wrong. This can make him rather irritating to work with at times, especially for people with strong personalities or conflicting beliefs.

One word of caution with regard to the appointment in question, if Jesus takes up this position with you, he will almost certainly change your life. He will undoubtedly challenge your accepted views on a variety of issues and will also cause you to grow and develop in new, exciting, but sometimes painful, ways. These changes are not necessarily quantifiable or in keeping with today's social perceptions. Whilst all of Jesus' work is of a voluntary nature and attracts no salary, the process of change in your life can be very difficult and I advise you to count the cost before employing him. However, I can reassure you that the final results are always good and beneficial both to yourself and others.

I feel sure that the recruitment of Jesus will bring you significant aid in your proposed venture and will certainly guarantee its eventual success. One final word, if you do decide to offer Jesus the position of 'saviour' in your life, he will also be remaining in that post in the same position here in mine and in the lives of millions of other people around the world!

Yours faithfully
Anne Witness

Copyright 2004 Simone Panday. Permission is granted to send this to others, but not for commercial purposes.

===============================

Mikey's Thot for the Day:
Jesus paid the price for you. You get to keep the change.

more about cotter

I've been pretty much in ongoing praise since last night thanking God last night for answering our prayer to save Cotter. We've, as I mentioned before, prayed for his salvation ever since we knew he'd be a part of our family. My prayer has literally been, "Lord, please bring Cotter to salvation at a young age, so that he may live a long life of faith, knowing you and making you known."

This morning I read a great quote found in the book Prayerwalking:

Steve Hawthorne
"As you pray with God's heart, your prayers will begin to lock in on the completion of God's purpose...

I sit in humble awe that God would provide to us salvation. Last night, Cotter fell asleep wearing the biggest smile I have ever seen upon his face. This came after a wonderful conversation that will forever be one of the most precious of my life:

Cotter: What will I be in heaven?
Me: What do you mean?
Cotter: Will I be little, or grown up?
Me: I'm not sure...you'll just 'be.'
Cotter: I'll just be "Cotter?"
Me: Right.
Cotter: Cool....Will I be able to play catch with Jesus?
Me: I'm sure He will be thrilled to play catch with you.
Cotter: I'll want to be the Broncos. He can be the Jaguars.
Me: Will you let me play, too?
Cotter: Of course. You can be on my team....Daddy, is there a rainbow in heaven?
Me: The Bible says there is.
Cotter: Cool! What else is there in heaven?
Me: Well, The Bible says that there's a giant tree in the middle of heaven, and a beautiful river that flows right through heaven. The streets are made of gold...It's always bright and sunny...There's no more nighttime, and you never get tired and you never go to sleep. And you are never sad.
Cotter: Can I climb the tree?
Me: You'd probably be able to do all the tree-climbing that you'll want to.
Cotter: I love to climb trees.
Me: And you'll get to live in a mansion...
Cotter: What's a mansion?
Me: It's a big, huge house that Jesus is making just for you!
Cotter: Is it bigger than our house?
Me: A lot bigger.
Cotter: Like a hundred and sixty times bigger?
Me: I don't know, but it's a lot bigger.
Cotter: Heaven sure sounds cool.
Me: Doesn't it? I'm so glad we get to be there together...
Cotter: Me, too, Daddy. And Mommy and Kaylyn, too. And someday Kelsi will pray like I did tonight, and she'll get to go to heaven, too.
Me: That's our prayer, buddy. It's time for sleep....

And as my son rolled to his stomach so I could have the privilege of scratching his back to induce slumber, I prayed a new prayer for him:

Lord, thank you for saving Cotter. Thank you for hearing my prayer. Lord, I'd ask now that you'd protect him from the enemy, protect him from the temptations of the world. Give him knowledge, discernment, and understanding that can only come from You. Use Him however you see fit to bring glory to yourself. Give me the strength to be satisfied and submissive to Your will in His life, and keep me from getting in the way of his spiritual growth. Help me be a father worthy of a son who belongs to You. Set him apart to be a boy and then a man who influences others, who impacts the culture and who radiates your love and truth to this lost and dying world. Please don't let Cotter settle for anything less than your will, your plan. Keep him from compromise, so that You would be lifted up, through his faithfulness. Thank you for the miracle of redemption. Praise Your Name!

of course, i don't recommend any of these things

from Mikey

FUN THINGS TO DO DURING BORING SERMONS


~ Pass a note to the organist asking whether he/she plays requests.

~ See if a yawn really is contagious.

~ Slap your neighbor. See if they turn the other cheek. If not, raise your hand and tell the preacher.

~ Devise ways of climbing into the balcony without using the stairs.

~ Listen for your preacher to use a word beginning with 'A' then 'B and so on through the alphabet.

~ Sit in the back row and roll a handful of marbles under the pews ahead of you. After the service, credit yourself with 10 points for every
marble that made it to the front.

~ Using church bulletins or visitor cards for raw materials, design, test and modify a collection of paper airplanes.

~ Start from the back of the church and try to crawl all the way to the front, under the pews, without being noticed.

~ Raise your hand and ask for permission to go to the rest room.

~ Whip out a hankie and blow your nose. Vary the pressure exerted on your nostrils and trumpet out a rendition of your favorite hymn.

~ Chew gum; if the sermon goes on for more than 15 minutes, start blowing bubbles.

~ Try to indicate to the minister that his fly is undone.

~ By unobtrusively drawing your arms up into your sleeves, turn your shirt around backwards.

~ While people are locating the announced congregational song, step out in the aisle and begin waving your arms as if directing the hymn.

~ Sit close to the front, and during the prayer, turn around backwards, point, and count softly how many people do not have their heads bowed and eyes closed.

~ See how many hard candies you can stuff in your cheeks before your mother, wife, or pastor catches you.

~ Begin coughing and get louder and louder until you get to excuse yourself and leave the room.

~ Choose a different song than was announced and begin singing it as loud as you can.

best. news. ever.

On a night where I could write about any wide range of issues (and might still), I have the distinct honor and privilege of sharing the news that this evening at approximately 7:45 p.m. EST, Cotter James McAnally called upon the name of the Lord for the forgiveness of his sins, asking Jesus to be his Savior, and receiving the free grace gift of heaven and eternal life.

Tonight, the Lord God has answered the prayers of Kelli and I offered daily for over five years. We praise Him for His goodness and mercy and ask for wisdom in raising this boy in the way he should go.

Thanks to you who have prayed for this as well, we have no words to adequately express our gratitude.

Praise God!

oops2

With two parents down ill, Kelsi for the first time in just under two years of living, experienced her first moment of parental oversight.

She just tapped me on the back...


Kelsi: Daddy
Me (not looking): yes?
K: Dipuh..wipes
Me: Oh!

She had a single dry diaper set atop the plastic container of wipes. It was time for a soil change.

Let's just say she put that Huggies through what can only be described as "a stress test." It had without a doubt reached its load bearing limit.

oops

I seem unable to participate in more than two carnivals in any given week. I missed this week Bonfire, which is posted here.

bowling for pansies

We viewed Bowling for Columbine over the weekend, and we're so thankful for Michael Moore. Without him, I never would have realized that the reason children shoot each other is because rich conservatives force poor minorities to work in confectionary shops for substandard wages in order to satiate the wealthy tyrants' obsession for fudge.

I'm not kidding. That was the accusation.

When the poor folk are slaving away making this chocolate divinity, the homes are left without a guardian, leaving free access to easily-discovered firearms and their weapons, which of course can only result in the children bringing these guns to school where they will inevitably fire at other children because that's what children do, when their parents work long hours in fudge shops.

A couple of things I'd like to know: What is Moore's income? I'd like to see his last reported income tax to see if he just might be described as "wealthy."

Also, how much fudge has Moore consumed? Even if the camera adds 10 pounds, I think the question is fair, in light of the accusations he's tossing around. One might be able to find some indicting receipts in his 2003 taxes shoebox that might finally close the loop and show that we finally have our culprit.

Kids don't kill kids.

Michael Moore does.

But it was the fudge that made him do it.

home sick

I'm home today. I forced myself to get moving at noon, although my body is rebelling as I proceed. Kelli is in bed, unable to function.

no fever...this is good.

no congestion...this is good.

partially clogged sinuses, total fatigue, and stomach cramping.....not so good.

coming soon to a metroplex near you

If my life were a movie....

• The statement "The part of Brad Pitt will be played by Bryan McAnally" would make sense and everyone would applaud the announcement.


• I'd demand (and get)$25 million per every feature-length comedy or drama that played out on my life's screen, as well as a percentage of the residuals and merchandising.


• Colorado would be the mecca of the entertainment world and Diddy & Kutch would beg me for Broncos box tickets.


• Neophytes would follow in my footsteps wanting to learn "The Bryan Method."


• I'd always choose to snip the correct wire, averting disaster.


• I'd never need a map or have to make U-turns. Oh, and there'd always be an open parking space at the front of the lot, and I could get out and leave the car running.


• Dramatic music would always play in the background every time I said something sensitive, or said something profound.


• I'd have a catch phrase...something like, "I told you not to go there!" or "I got yer Spare Change right here...sucka!" (notice the cross-marketing?)


• I'd do all my own stunts.


• I wouldn't lip sync the scenes from the concert performances. People would be amazed, rather than repulsed, by my singing abilities.


• My morning commute would invariably involve a chase scene


• I'd score the winning basket at the end of the world championship. Except it wouldn't be a winning basket, it would be a really good job editing a feature story on the mission work of Bob and Mary Jones, literacy volunteers to Native Americans. And it wouldn't be the world championship, it would be the Summer issue of the magazine. But the crowds would still go crazy and riot in the streets and turn over cars and light fires.


• I'd charge $4.75 for 20 ounce Coke, and twice that for a bag of popcorn.


• I'd never be seen crying, unless I got dirt in my eye at a particulary emotional scene.


• I'd be known as "the Meryl Streep" of male dialects, with voices for Gameshow Host, Movie Trailer Announcer, Tony Montana, Bob Uecker, Evangelical Preacher, and many more.


• I'd direct my own scenes. For example, the scene at the office might start with boss² saying the lines, "McAnally, why are you late and why didn't you turn in that draft we're all waiting for?*" And I'd say, "AND CUT!.... Let's try this again, but this time say, 'McAnally, you've saved us again with that perfectly-timed joke about the camel and the one-eyed epileptic. You've been promoted to president and given a bonus of 10,000 shares of blue-chip stock!' Okay....places, everyone, places. Let's nail it this time!"


• People would be more impressed and less off-put when I pause to make sure the label of my product is clearly visible, and deliberately mention, "that's why I, Bryan McAnally, always use Breath Assure for my persistant halitosis needs."


• The audience would always expect to see my good side.


• I'd take a lot of heat for committing a large chunk of my personal fortune to produce a re-telling of the ministry of Jesus Christ, including His crucifixion, burial, and resurrection, relying on the controversial writings of conservative Southern Baptists for my inspiration. The dialogue would only be in King James Version English, though subtitles would be provided, phonetically.


• The spin-offs with Kaylyn, Cotter, and Kelsi would prove to be much more entertaining, but the hastily-produced prequel would fail to capture the imagination of the audience, due to the poor casting of Dr. Phil as my father.


• I'd have a huge following in Europe and Asia.


• Neil Diamond and Anne Murray would sing 80s power ballads remastered by Andre 3000 for the soundtrack.


• It would not at all seem unusual for ministers to carry and use lightsabers.


• The unexpected revelation of my embarrassing 24-year ago citation for riding my bicycle in traffic would be headline news on Entertainment Tonight.


• I would unfortunately not be able to truthfully disclaim, "no animals were hurt in the production of this movie."


• People would still be amazed that I was lucky enough to convince Kelli to marry me.


• Three words, baby: Syn-di-cation.


• I would lose my partner in an unfortunate Baptist Men gunfight when he was ONLY THREE DAYS FROM RETIREMENT...NOOOOO!!!!!


• I'd discover the location of all the WMDs.


• My acceptance speech would thank my Savior Jesus of Nazareth, my wife and children, and my and Kelli's parents. That's all.

*this has never happened, by the way

getting to be a daily read

The Evangelical Outpost has good stuff every day. Today's fare includes an apt label of mysogeny to Sex and the City and the inevitability of the phrase "President Schwarzenegger."

bring a friend to the carnival

The Christian Carnival is inviting those of us who submit regularly to invite others to do the same. If you have a post from your own journal that has a distinctly Christian worldview, written in the past week, share it with others. Send it to:

carnival@king-of-fools.com

Provide the following:

Title of your Blog
URL of your Blog
Title of your post
URL linking to that post
Description of the Post

Cut off date is Tuesday by 8 PM EST.

Then, you can read from all the submissions at King of Fools.

ms. barber cuts to the quick

On Friday, I attempted to put into this blog, my thoughts regarding the San Fran fiasco. A couple thousand words later, I had said a lot without saying anything, so I took a gulp and hit 'delete.'

I'm glad I did because today, I read Lashawn's post on the topic and feel perfectly represented by her words, brief and accurate.

another prayer update

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

It is an awesome thing that the Lord will let others pray for you… He doesn't require that we be the ones to go to Him to receive a blessing.. And your prayers blessed us greatly. Bob went through the Inversion of his heart with no complications --- no pain --- and no after affects… Praise the Lord and thank you all…
In Christ,
Gail Miller

sung to the tune of i'd like to teach the world to sing

The Captain's Quarters is having a caption contest for the Kerry-with-the-git-fiddle pic.

I submitted the original blues tune hammered out below. There are lots of others worth a laugh.

point/counterpoint

From The Denver Post (which I finally found, after a reading a brief primer on the dulcimer).

againt the trade

None of the possible trading partners could offer a player as prolific as the 22-year-old Portis, Denver's record-setting running back who predicted at this month's Pro Bowl that a 2,000-yard season is in his view.

Anyone who watched him rush for 1,591 yards last season, despite missing three games with sternum and ankle injuries, would not question it.

"I know my 2,000 will come," Portis said in Honolulu. "It's just a matter of time."

While the deal would be met with cheers in Washington, it would be met with even louder cheers in Kansas City. During the Broncos' past two games in Denver against the Chiefs, Portis rushed for 348 yards and scored nine touchdowns.

There are questions within the Broncos organization about whether running backs Quentin Griffin, Ahmaad Galloway and Mike Anderson would be good enough to carry the team through the playoffs.

for the trade

Should Denver land the extra pick from Washington, the team would be positioned to draft one of this year's higher-rated running backs, perhaps even former Ohio State running back Maurice Clarett, with whom Broncos officials met Thursday night.

Moreover, Denver's defense would be instantly fortified and upgraded. Bailey would be the prototype cornerback the Broncos have coveted since they showered millions on Dale Carter during the 1999 offseason. Bailey, 25, is regarded as one of the game's top cornerbacks.

Asked at the Pro Bowl to name the best cornerback in the game, Philadelphia's five-time Pro Bowl cornerback Troy Vincent said: "Cover-wise, you have to look at Champ Bailey. Champ has the best cover skills."

Have I mentioned that I'm torn over this decision?

close, but not quite

I intended to go to the Denver Post, to read more about the trade possibility. This is where I ended up instead.

this could get ugly

Interesting developments in recent NFL gossip related to a trade between the Redskins and Broncos.

I was initially incensed about the possibility of losing Clinton Portis, particularly to the Redskins (I'm forever bitter over their drubbing of the Broncos in the Super Bowl). I was additionally concerned when reading about the impending release of Mike "Midnight Toker" Anderson. However, the lure of Champ Bailey is significant. Still, Portis is a premier back in the league, and I'd rather he be scoring touchdowns for us than for anyone else.

I'm torn. Maybe the Redskins would still pull the trigger if we offer Quentin Griffin instead.

good will hung-ing

William is the American Idol! The people have spoken. I would be willing to wager, if I did that sort of thing, that there's a good number of cast aways, and even some still in the mix, who are more than justalittlebit envious of the arhythmic Asian-American.

shake your bon bon, William, shake your bon bon.

read this twice. then twice more.

From Brett, from his mom:

Larry Crabb
"No one will conclude that God is good by studying life. The evidence powerfully suggests otherwise. Belief in God's goodness and the worship that naturally flows from this confidence depends on the revealing work of the Holy Spirit. When he ushers us into the presence of ultimate goodness, when our darkest tragedy is pierced by one glimpse of invisible glory, then faith is born."

guilty!

If Mel Gibson held the nail, the Patriot takes responsibility for driving it through His hand. I, too, take responsibility for the crucifixion of Jesus from Nazareth. I mocked Him, chided Him from the crowd, laughed at His pain. And all the while, He took my transgressions upon His shoulders and asked His Father to forgive me. He died, so that I may live. He took man's afflictions, so that one day, I'll receive the Father's affections.

I am not worthy.

He is Lord.

the long face blues

i'm blue
oh so blue
been on both sides of the issues so long now
i just don't know what to do

couldn't avoid Vietnam
so I signed up for the draft
came back a hero with a scam
and soon showed that i was just daft

Blamed my brothers for bad crimes
joined the protest with Hanoi Jane
protestin' gave me good face times
to make myself a household name

I've faced lots of issues
and just can't make up my mind
Goin' through so many tissues
cuz my character you will not find

and it gives me the blues
the long face flip flop flapjack blues
been on both sides of the issues so long now
i just don't know what to do

I voted for a war I really hated
just because I have no spine
Bush, his duties he abrogated
just don't you ask me about mine

I am both against and for this war
We should stay in and leave Iraq
For your votes I am such a ...prostitute
That if I have to I'll fall on my back

OhHHH...... I got the blues
I got them back and forth flip floppin blues
Been straddlin this fence for so long now
But I still don't have a clue

"Bring it on" is my campaign motto
I can't think of anything for my self
Got more money than the guy who won lotto
Thanks to my wife's ketchup on the shelf

Please don't ask me any question
So I won't tell you any lie
I did not hear your last suggestion
cause that intern caught my eye

Ohhh i got the blues
the long face wafflin ketchup-covered blues
I've stood for nothin' for so long NNNowwwwww
That I've done worn out my flip flop shoes.

I've got them bluuuu-hooooooos....
Those long face Kerry, both sides are my friend, there and back again, hey i'm a veteran but I hate the military, flip flop somersaultin head-over-heels with myself bluuuuuuuuuuuessssssssss.

kerry's vietnam record will ketchup to him

From the WSJ BOTW, Kerry is playing revisionist about his own Vietnam antics and statements.we have excerpts of Kerry's accusations and allegations that he threw around like hand grenades while trying to make a name for himself at the expense of his band of brothers:

Several months ago in Detroit, we had an investigation at which over 150 honorably discharged and many very highly decorated veterans testified to war crimes committed in Southeast Asia, not isolated incidents but crimes committed on a day-to-day basis with the full awareness of officers at all levels of command. . . . They relived the absolute horror of what this country, in a sense, made them do.

They told the stories [that] at times they had personally raped, cut off ears, cut off heads, taped wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turned on the power, cut off limbs, blown up bodies, randomly shot at civilians, razed villages in fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan, shot cattle and dogs for fun, poisoned food stocks, and generally ravaged the countryside of South Vietnam in addition to the normal ravage of war, and the normal and very particular ravaging which is done by the applied bombing power of this country.

and as the WSJ well-points out...these are indictments against the soldiers, not the leaders as he puports. He has slandered fine men, men of the likes of my own father, and now he has the audacity to slander my president, and call himself a patriot worthy of leading our nation.

Outrageous!

will nader be a nadir to the GOP's reelection effort

The Evangelical Outpost things maybe so.

I think he has good points.

the most dramatic bidding ceremony ever

The auction for Helene's engagement ring has concluded.

Someone ponied up a little over $28,000 for the 2+ karat token of undying fickle/bling bling for ratings devotion.

That's a lot of ponies for a used bauble.

junior, i've been meaning to tell you about that...

CNN reports on a boy who discovered for himself that he was abducted by his own mother fourteen years earlier.

How do you explain that to the kid?

"heh heh...funny story....trust me, you'll really think this is hilarious...."

poor guy.

big day tomorrow

Tomorrow morning is our first Sunday worship at North Forsyth High School. If you're in the area and want to see what its all about, come at 9 a.m. for donuts and coffee, a good SS discussion, and a great time of worship.

bush commercial

I don't remember where I saw this, but this ad cracked me up.*

It's okay to laugh...as long as you vote Bush in '04.



*no offense intended to toward our veterans, at home and abroad. I sincerely appreciate the sacrifice of all our Vietnam veterans, even Sen. Kerry's.

y'all come back now, here!

I got a 72.2% Dixie score on this test.

My bride's influence upon my life could never be more evident.

Link via CSAW.

amen!

this just in:

The procedure was effective and Bob's heart is back in rhythm. He is asleep and Gail is very relieved. He should go home from the hospital over the weekend. Gail thanks everyone for their prayers.

from potty humor to #1 in the marketplace

Presurfer also links to the interesting story of Outhouse Springs, the fictitious ad campaign that became so popular it went like a racehorse into reality.

what a flake

Presurfer shows us typeflake. My children will no doubt love this.

talking with kaylyn

Kaylyn has begun to receive and send email at school. We have access to her account and get to review everything that comes and goes. It's sweet to see her be able to have communication with family and friends. We appreciate all of you loved ones who have taken the time to let her know you're thinking of her.

subtle e-vangelism

The Random Person Generator

Are you more valuable than a randomly-generated person?

hey ya

You are Woodstock!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

via Patriot Paradox

continued prayer for bob

from Gail, my secretary:

Dear Family,

I want to thank each and everyone of you for your prayers. The other day Bob said he could feel when God was answering His children's prayers for him and I know that he can. All at once a peace comes over us both and Bob can breath better and is able to get some sleep. Sometimes we get so weary and unable to pray when we are in the middle of a situation but knowing your prayers are lifted up for us is a peace within itself. I can not tell you how much we depend on you and your prayers.

That is why I am coming to you again asking for another round of prayer for a procedure that Bob will go through tomorrow (Friday). We have to be at the hospital at 7:00am and he will be put to sleep- then the doctors will use the defibulator paddles to electro stimulate (Shock) his heart. Success with this procedure is 60% - in Bob's case we need for it to be 100%. If something goes wrong they will keep him in the hospital. If everything goes right he will get to come home probably on Saturday. If the procedure does not work - they will wait for a couple of weeks and do it over again. Bob is now down to 8% infraction rate? which means that when his heart beats and the blood goes into the heart he is only pumping out 8% of it and the rest is backing up into his lungs and other areas. His infraction rate no matter if this works or not will only go up to 10% but that is better than the 8%.

You may think that when you ask about how we are doing or send us a card or call or let us know you are praying - that it isn't much? but it means so very much to us.. God has been so very good to us during this time and prayerfully Bob will receive a new heart before the end of the year. We were told by one of the Co-ordinators that we had faith and reality mixed up ? I told her that faith is reality. We know that the Lord is using us right where we are and He will guide us through this and just maybe we can be a witness to someone or strength to others. This is not to say I do not have weak times - I do - but even in my weakest time I know that faith is reality and God will see us through this.

In Christ,
Gail

on anti-semitism

I realize that I am treading potentially shark-infested waters, and that even by broaching the subject, I may be lacing up my meat-flavored swim trunks.

Even so, after reading some of the discussion going on at Thinklings and Jen's, I have to ask what constitutes anti-Semitism?

Some things are obvious, and I'm not discussing those matters.

Are the New Testament Gospel Accounts anti-Semitic simply because they tell of a Jewish mob moving in cooperation with a Roman government to execute an itinerant Rabbi, who by coincidence happens to be the Messiah of the Jewish people? Are the NT epistles Anti-Semitic simply because they exhort Christ-followers to witness first to the Jew and then to the Gentile (which too many Christ-followers aren't doing either of)? Is it anti-Semitic to ask this question?

Is it anti-Semitic to reason that Jews today who reject the Messiahship of Jesus from Nazareth could in fact be held responsible for that decision by God? Is it Anti-Semitic to reason that it is exactly this type of denial that fulfills the prophetic words of self-condemnation found in Matthew 27:25? Is it anti-Semitic to reason that this is possible?

Is it anti-Semitic to state that written in the Tenakh itself (in Nehemiah), Israel has in its history disagreed with, disobeyed, and even killed its own prophets -- and paid significant historic consequences for doing so? And if in fact that has occurred, it might be reasonable to think the same thing occurred most recently, most dramatically, and most consequentially with Jesus of Nazareth? Is it anti-Semitic to even consider those possibilities?


I'm not being a smart-aleck. I really am struggling with this. I read about this movie coming out that tells of the crucifixion of Jesus, and that Jewish people and anti-defamation groups are already in an uproar. At the same time, I see more Christian cooperation than ever before (in my short time on this earth), and in amidst at least the orthodox derivations, a genuine love and concern for Jewish people, and a desire to be sensitive to their long history of oppression without compromising the actual message of the cross. I recognize that a large part of the world is ardently and vociferously anti-Semitic. But an comparably large part is respectful and even reverent, recognizing common origins and similar desires to know God and follow Him.

Not terribly long ago, my denomination came under fire for being insensitive (which some could extend to mean "latent anti-Semitism") because of deliberate efforts to evangelize the Jewish person. Why does the Jewish person get to define this as anti-Semitism?

Why is that what is an intended expression of love and care being instead received as a message of hatred and intolerance?

toilet humor

a real stinker...from the inbox:

The story is told of a lady who was rather old-fashioned, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language. She and her husband were planning a week's vacation in Florida, so she wrote to a particular campground asking for a reservation.

She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped, but didn't quite know how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn't bring herself to write the word "toilet" in her letter. After much deliberation, she finally came up with the old-fashioned term BATHROOM COMMODE. But when she wrote that down, she still thought she was being too forward. So she started all over again, rewrote the entire letter referring to the bathroom commode merely as the BC "Does the campground have it's own BC?" is what she actually wrote.

Well, the campground owner wasn't old-fashioned at all and when he got the letter, he just couldn't figure out what the woman was talking about. That BC business really stumped him.

After worrying about it for awhile, he showed the letter to several campers, but they couldn't imagine what the lady meant either. So the
campground owner, finally coming to the conclusion that the lady must be asking about the local Baptist Church, sat down and wrote the following reply:


Dear Madam,
I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take pleasure in informing you that a BC is located nine miles north of
the campground and is capable of seating 250 people at one time. I admit it is quite a distance away, if you are in the habit of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of people take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually arrive early and stay late. It is such a beautiful facility and the acoustics are marvelous even the normal delivery sounds can be heard.

The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that right now a supper is planned to raise money to buy more seats. They are going to hold it in the basement of the BC.

I would like to say it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it surely is no lack of desire on my part. As we grow
old, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in cold weather.

If you do decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with you the first time you go, sit with you, and introduce you to all the other folks.

Remember, this is a friendly community.

Sincerely,
Campground Owner

blogger idol 5 botb

As always, lots of good stuff, here's the mental peanut butter of this week's jiffy offerings:

Ande's picture quiz.
Mr. Nath's poetry.
Kristy's "daughter ate a bee" story.
Jenn's great photo.
lj's great photos.
Tim's poetry.
matt's long-eared armadillo photos.
John's greato photo.
Ryan's photo of the beer-swilling nun.

Thanks to all for helping me "Picture X" where 'X'="this."

sung to the tune of simply the best

Bad Money has lauded my tree marriage entry for having the "worst. puns. ever.*" I appreciate the recognition, and the visits of those who are basically guilty of the blogging equivalent of slowing down and gawking at a horrific road side accident. But you can stake this as the truth...I pine for your attention and I en-tree-t you to "stick" around.


*the actual term is "eye-gouging pile of tortuous pun misery," a quantifiable exclamation that I don't underestimate in its consideration.

proverbs #159

There is no worse error than to seek an intellectual remedy for a moral grief.

proverbs #158

Throw mud and you will have dirty hands, regardless whether you hit your mark.

proverbs #157

Faith is the soul's intake. Love is the soul's outlet.

and now you know

Ovie gave this to me a while ago, and I've been chewing on it ever since:

What is the glory of God? It is who God is.
It is:
the essence of His nature
the weight of His importance
the radiance of His splendor
the demonstration of His power
the atmosphere of His presence

God's glory is the expression of His goodness and all His other intrinsic qualities.

I don't have any other source for this...but it's sure good stuff.

sad days at CU

The Chips are down at the University of Colorado.

The girl who made the squad was raped.

They had parties where recruits were offered sex. Other young women were raped, allegedly, by recruits and players alike.

The program's a mess.

And the coach has the temerity to try to reduce it down to pettiness by saying Ms. Hnida was simply no good, awful (speaking of her football-kicking abilities, that is)?!?!

I remember thinking back when it was such a "big event" that she had made the team that nothing good would come from it. But I had no idea it would be this bad.

I am part of the 75 percent who are calling for Barnett's termination.

explanation: insomnia

I already filled out one of these today for a student in one of my past church ministries, via my bride. And since I cannot sleep, I took the time to C&P Tony's list, that I saw at Jen's and elsewhere, and am replacing with my own answers that you surely will gloss over and quickly forget:

• Name: Bryan


• Nickname: Mac, Big Mac, Daddy, Mac Daddy, Daddy Mac, Bry, Byron, Guido, Toes (I grew up in a small town with lots of time on our hands)


• Astrological sign: The Crustacean with the Big C


• Age: 379 month old today!


• Height: 74?


• Level of Education: 95 U of Colorado, BA in English Writing; 98 Southwestern Seminary, MA in Religious Education


• Occupation: Editor, Adult Mission Education, North American Mission Board


• Birthplace: Wheatridge, CO


• Marital status: married


• How many children: 3


• Do you drink (alcohol): No.


• Do you smoke: No, unless properly ignited


• Favorite outdoor activities: hunting the elusive wapiti, playing sports with the kids, walking with my bride


• Favorite indoor activities: reading, writing, ruminating, relating


• Favorite colors: navy blue, forest green


• Favorite type of music: I dig it all, baby


• Favorite musical groups/performers: Anne Murray, Outkast


• Favorite soundtracks: Grease, Moulin Rouge


• Favorite song at the moment: I Can Only Imagine (thanks Tony), Hey Ya


• What?s in your home CD/Casette player right now: Something for the kiddos


• What?s in your car CD/Casette player right now: A sermon by Rick Warren to preview for our work


• Do you play an instrument: I work on my music, but it's really experimental and defies description


• One pillow or two: 1 -- And Kelli's able to tell when I'm using hers, but I can't.


• Have you ever had your appendix or tonsils removed: Tonsils, by way of my appendix. It was quite risky.


• Do you make fun of people: Occasionally, but it usually backfires.


• As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up: A guy named Bill. I don't know why.


• What would be your dream job now: I dig what I'm doing -- I'm right where God wants me.


• Have you ever been convicted of a crime: Convicted? No.


• Places you?d most like to visit: Colorado . . . often (Thanks Tony).


• Your first car: 1987 Ford Ranger. Sweet little pickup.


• Dream car: GMC 3/4 ton, Extended Cab, long bed 4WD pick-up truck.


• Toothpaste: Yes.


• Shampoo/Conditioner: Yes, but Conditioner usually doesn't taste as soapy as shampoo.


• Favorite season: Spring.


• Favorite holiday: I dig 'em all.


• Favorite board/card game: 7 up 7 down, Ho!, 42


• Favorite hobbies: sports, blogging, basejumping.


• Favorite sport to play: Curtis Blow said it best....basketball is my favorite sport....


• Favorite sport to watch: Go Broncos.


• Least favorite sport to watch: Exteme Ironing. or the WNBA, since they both have a full-court press that is equally dramatic.


• Do you have any siblings: 1 brother.


• Do you get along with your parents: fabulously.


• Favorite place to chill: in a refridgerator crisper.


• Favorite place to visit: Rocky Mountain High...Colorado....


• What is your bad time of day: Mornings


• What is your good time of day: Late Evening. I'm such a night owl.


• Favorite perfume or cologne: Eau di' Bryan....I'm clueless about this. My armpit scent is "wild tundra" or something like that, does this count?


• Favorite scent of candle: The ones Kelli buys to mask Bathroom WMD (wafting malodorous doodies)


• Favorite subject in school: Advanced Composition


• Least favorite subject in school: Physics


• Favorite magazine: Entertainment Weekly, and Wired


• Favorite movie you have seen recently: I think I last saw ROTK, and enjoyed it.


• Favorite movie of all time: Used to be Braverheart, but I predict that's about to change.


• Favorite TV programs: Mole, Apprentice, Broncos FOotball


• Favorite cartoon character: Homer


• Favorite food: TBone Steak


• Chocolate or Vanilla: Phish Food


• What is your bedtime: Usually 11...but not tonight


• How many rings before you answer the phone: 2 at least


• The first thing you think of in the morning: Coffee.


• Favorite thing to do when you?re home alone: Sleep.


• Thunderstorms - Cool or Scary: Cool


• Pen or Pencil: Pens, by the dozens...I really have an unhealthy addiction to them.


• Do you like to drive: I will be the pilot of the motor craft, thankyouverymuch.


• What is on the walls of your room: Photos, paintings, accessories...Whatever Kelli wants.


• What words or phrases do you overuse: .... (drawing a blank here, sorry)


• Coolest things anyone ever gave you: my salvation! And from the earthly perspective, everything we received in response to our home fire in 2000.


• If you could pick one super-human power, what would you choose: Mercy!

roll over roll over

Everyone knows this, but because I long ago started it, I should report that Dean-o has fallen off just so it's in the record (thanks to Tony for my prompt). I think the outrage is that Fox News is reporting this event with the headline "And then there were two."

Dennis & The Rev. are still in this thing. And now that Kuci has a potential first lady, the Rev. can marry them to one another, and then pony up to be the VP. It's a ticket made in heaven, baby!

I'm sad to see Dr. Deanmento go. He was a sideshow, a car-wreck, and a freakish curiosity all rolled up into one screaming, irrational package of vitriol. Good times. Good memories. Maybe he and Nader can partner up and really rock the vote come November.

True Confession: I told Kelli tonight that if Edwards found a way to unseat Kerry, I would at least feel like the worst possible candidate didn't win. I am so amazed at Kerry's lack of conviction and three-decades-plus practice of playing prevailing-wind politics. In the most sincere typestrokes I can offer, I hope that Democrats cut through his smoke and mirrors deceptions and realize he is no more a servant of the people than is that butler dude from Joe Millionaire. To steal from Leno, my hope is that after Super Tuesday, people will be asking Kerry, "Why the long face?"

May the boob be exposed.

duh

email headline:
John Kerry: Further Left Than He Lets On


Gee, ya think?

cook until insides reach 160 degrees farenheit, or don't read this entry

These are your options for avoiding spoiled mole.

If you want to risk stomach cramps, nausea, and knowing who the mole is, keep reading.

Within the first fifteen minutes, Kelli and I vacillated so many times you would have thought we were doing John Kerry impersonations. We were Hangin' with Mr. Cooper, then we were piercing Rodman, then we had siliconnected the moley dots to Angie Everhart.

So, big surprise, I was clueless.

But I wasn't surprised.

The only one who would have surprised me would have been Rodman.

I was disappointed in their choice for mole, as it was the second consecutive dip into the supermodel mole pond. Watching this episode about all the clues missed and how Tracey Gold put herself out of the game reinforces why this show is so great.

Baldwin & Bernsen have to come back. They're staples, and they keep us in stitches!

Maybe next time, I'll actually pay close enough attention to actually try to do something other than guess wildly and randomly at who the saboteur might possibly be.

christian carnival

Up and running, without me.

conflicting messages

Again, I understand the concept of $P@/\/\, but this one baffled me. Under the tagline of "success:

ncrsease your earoning poswer and gaerner profwessional resspect.
Get the Un1iversity Dewgree you have already earned.
Baqchelors, Masfters, MBsA, or Docdtorate (Ph3D) offered.
aNo reqsuired teqsts,cladsses or bosoks.
Asll the bensefits of being a Univfersity Grafduate are within your reach.
Degdree verificsation and official tracnscripts provided when requested by
emplsoyers and otshers authsorized by the grdaduate.
dConfiwdentiality asssured.
Cnall this numfber: 1-2a12-2048-45v51 (24 hourwrs a dasy 7 dasys a week)
Wle will brerak doswn the wa1ll that has hefld your earpning poewer bpack.
Candie

I get it when a junk email appeals to the basic instincts of a person, but when you're attempting to entice a person to pursue your promise of success, shouldn't you do your best to come across like you are something other than Candie, the potty-trained chimp pounding away on a keyboard, who by the (falsely) darwinistic laws of averages has coincidentally hammered out something that is slightly comprehensible?

stand back

the bonfire of the vanities has been lit.

I missed the deadline for the Christian Carnival. maybe next week.

styrocafficoncusophobia

Is there a medical term for the irrational fear of pushing down too hard on the plastic lid as I cover a styrofoam cup, crushing the cup and splashing the hot coffee contained within it, thus scalding myself and anyone within a five-food radius?

If there is, please let me know, because I've got that.

I am afflicted.

i'm flushed with embarrassment

Aaron created a castigatory blogopoly gamepiece for me.

I wasn't being derisive of the effort, I promise. In fact I thought it to be quite cool and clever. I just estimated myself to be unworthy of being included.

So in that regard, even though I am the embodiment of an offal receptacle, I appreciate the consideration and commemoration.

I don't think I care for this answer

What Classic Movie Are You?

my big fat obnoxious television programming

we caught a bit of the similarly-titled program last night for the first (and last) time. We were in agreement that this was not 'entertainment.' That the daughter would subject her family to this and that actors would be complicit in it is unconscionable. I understand that everyone has to sign off on the final product, but that only affirms its basal orientation, rather than contradicts it.

It is a shameful statement for what some people will do for the paltry sum of $1 million. The cost of their decisions will be much more expensive, in the long run.

For example, we saw where Jenna returned home from Survivor and her mom died 8 days later. I don't know Jenna. I've seen approximately 37 minutes of Survivor when you add it all up over all the seasons. But my simple question is, what price tag do you put on those days that they missed with one another and that she can never reclaim? I'm honestly not judging her, and glad she was able to spend a few days with her terminally-ill mother. I'm honestly asking.

It's a matter of priorities. I can't always says authoritatively that my priorities are what they should be. Idealogically, I put God first, family second, ministry third. Functionally speaking, though, there's been many times where I've asked my family to understand been temporarily placed lower to accomodate the demands of ministry. You can only do that so many times before the person/people who so graciously step down so the other priority can be lifted up just says, "you know what? i'm down here so often anyway, I'll just stay here so you don't have to quit making excuses." I'm thankful that hasn't happened in my own marriage/family life, but I know many others where it has.

Wow...didn't know I was going to go there. thanks for coming along with me! Anyway, back to TV, we don't watch Average Joe 2 simply because of these reasons. We don't find it entertaining to see the depths of what people will do to win money. At least on shows like The Apprentice and The Mole, people are being challenged and not degraded by the actual premise of the program.

By the way, resurrectionsong shares similar views about Reality TV.

blogopoly

y'all may have seen this, but its new to me.

blogopoly -- monopoly for bloggers.

I momentarily considered feeding my own ego by attempting a photoshop, but ultimately decided the vast majority of folks would respond with a resounding "who?"

I don't think I want to be that guy at the party who hangs on the fringe of the group of "cool people" and every once in a while tries to say something witty and relevant but only comes across even more sad and pathetic than everyone originally thought him to be.

Oh...and if you've contributed, I'm by no means suggesting that you are 'that guy.'

I'm talking about all the other sad and pathetic losers. But not you. Really.

i wish i'd said that

snappy comebacks, slightly edited, via email:

1) Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
2) The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
3) I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
4) Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
5) I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
6) I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
7) What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
8) I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
9) I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
10) Ahhh...I see the Foolish Idea Fairy has visited us again...
11) I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
12) How about never? Is never good for you?
13) I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to follow me.
14) You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.
15) I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
16) I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
17) I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
18) Who me? I just wander from room to room.
19) It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
20) At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
21) You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
22) I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
27) Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

true #6

Fact: There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

Point: There's lots of ways to accomplish the goal. You can also have lots of stuff without having the right stuff to accomplish the goal.

true #5

Fact: Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

Point: Dude, quit trying so hard.

judge for yourself, but don't tell anyone

Here's a link to the confidentiality agreement that Gibson asked some pre-viewers to sign. Some in the media and liberal theological world are trying to make this a controversy.

Logic says: I'm going to let you take a look. If you like what you see, tell others. If you don't we'd ask that you wait until the final version comes out to see if what you didn't like was edited or cut.

Simple premise. No controversy.

unless you have ulterior motives.

despite the rumors

Mel & Charlie are not related.



So much for Diane's effort to get Mel to cry by reuniting him with Charlie.

We watched Ms. Sawyer's interview with the director last night, and thought Mel did phenomenally well. He was well spoken and transparent. He didn't try to hide that he was hurt by the criticism, and gave a great defense for his faith. I think he spoke more evangelistically in that 45 minutes (without commercials) than 80 percent of our North American Christians have in the last year.

Strong statements:
He confessed being a believer.
He said, of the Bible: You either believe every word of it, or you believe none of it.
He dismissed the criticism of heretic John Dominic Crossan*.
He thoughtfully and sincerely defended himself against charges of anti-semitism, saying, "it is a sin to be anti-semitic."
He declined to allow a line of questioning regarding his dad, and honored him by saying something along the lines of, "I'm tight with my dad. You can't drive a wedge between us. Let it go."
He steps to the front of the line to accept blame for Christ's execution, admitting his personal responsibility as a sinner.

The only thing I would like to have heard more about what his potentially-universalist stand when he said he was of the opinion that people of other faiths could find their way to heaven, but he just had it easier (as a Christian).

I respect Gibson (again, Mel not Charlie) because he showed that if you really believe in your project and your vision, you're going to take some heat for it. I admire him for his willingness to stand up against the world who would deny its culpability.


*the linked article presents just a glimpse of Crossan's mindset. In writing about Jesus, he can't even resist casting the whole discussion in terms of himself, holidng himself up as the moral example. If you aren't familiar with this self-described "scholar," a simple search reveals his proud relationship with The Jesus Seminar which seeks to deny the Christ his claim to the miraculous.

true #4

Fact: The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds.

Point: Some animals were designed to be prey. It's not hard to understand why chicken is the baseline on the flavor comparison chart.

happy birthday

Today is Cotter's 5th birthday. We've an afternoon of baseball, basketball, soccer, and football lined up. If you'd like to send him a birthday wish, email it to me and I'll forward it along to him.

It's a little hard on his dad's heart to know he's already five. The time is blazing by, I tell ya.

prayer request

Please pray for Jen's uncle Bill, who just lost his home and his pets in a house fire, and sustained some injuries himself.

spurs in the pews

from the inbox

THE COWBOY AND THE CHURCH

One Sunday morning an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt and boots that were very worn and ragged. In his hand he carried a worn out old hat and an equally worn out Bible.

The church he entered was in a very upscale and exclusive part of the city. It was the largest and most beautiful church the old cowboy had ever seen. The people of the congregation were all dressed with expensive clothes and accessories. As the cowboy took a seat, the others moved away from him. No one greeted, spoke to, or welcomed him. They were all appalled at his appearance and did not attempt to hide it.

The preacher gave a long sermon about Hellfire and brimstone and a stern lecture on how much money the church needed to do God's work. As the old cowboy was leaving the church, the preacher approached him and asked the cowboy to do him a favor. "Before you come back in here again, have a talk with God and ask him what He thinks would be appropriate attire for worship."

The old cowboy assured the preacher he would. The next Sunday, he showed back up for the services wearing the same ragged jeans, shirt, boots, and hat. Once again he was completely shunned and ignored.

The preacher approached the man and said, "I thought I asked you to speak to God before you came back to our church."

"I did," replied the old cowboy.

"If you spoke to God, what did he tell you the proper attire should be for worshiping in here?" asked the preacher.

"Well, sir, God told me that He didn't have a clue what I should wear. He said He'd never been in this church before."

Yesterday afternoon, Kelli and I watched Hawaii, the 1966 movie starring Max Von Sydow and Julie Andrews as the Rev. & Mrs. Hale, who were missionaries to the island. I don't know how accurate the movie was to the historical events of Christian missionary activity i Hawaii, but I was profoundly smacked upside the head by how much we (Christians) add to grace. Its as though we have forgotten that grace+anything=works. Even if the Rev. Hale was fictitious, his actions were representative of failed strategies taht are being repeated to this day.

At the same time, there was a message there regarding the intolerance of sin that we also seem to have lost. While he may have gone too far in his criticism and condemnation (but maybe not, who am I to say?), I saw a love for church, a love for holiness, and a respect for God's standards that seems increasingly on the wan in today's church.

Mrs. Hale was a wonderful picture of grace in this movie...bridging the gap between the harshness of the law of Rev. Hale and the ongoing sin of the Hawaiians. I need to watch this movie again.

Moreover, I need to spend more time with my Lord...learning more about Him, loving Him more.

presidential trivia

Richard Milhouse Nixon and William Jefferson Clinton are the only two US presidents whose names contain all the letters from the word "criminal."

I don't know if this is coincidence or a harbinger of doom, but John Forbes Kerry's own name could anagrammatically foretell the outcome to the Democratic Candidacy:

Be Jerk or NY Frosh

true #3

Fact: Average life span of a major league baseball: seven pitches.

Point: You might be Bond's #73 or the ball that bounces off Canseco's head over the fence, but either way, you better make the most of your opportunties because life is short.

true #2

Fact: "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.

Point: Left-handed people often have too much time on their hands.

true #1

Fact: It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs.

Point: There's a big difference between playing the game and making a commitment.

tenacious 'a'

I received the annual email about our 16th president that brags on the Great Emancipator's tenacity:

Failed in business...........................................1831
Lost election for state legislature...........................1832
Failed again in business.................................. 1834
Sweetheart died...............................................1835
Nervous breakdown.........................................1836
Lost second political race.................................1838
Defeated for Congress.....................................1843
Defeated for Congress......................................1846
Defeated for Congress.....................................1848
Defeated for US Senate...................................1855
Defeated for Vice President.............................1856
Defeated for US Senate....................................1858
Elected President...........................................1860

This email always neglects to mention the final big date:

Shot Dead....................................................1865

Granted, the inclusion of that little detail may dissuade some folks from receiving the obvious intent of the message, which is of course, never give up. I just thought I ought to at least provide that detail, because it probably is significant.

Actually, what Lincoln's story reveals to me is that a little success can overcome a lot of failure. Now, by no means am I suggesting that freeing the slaves was a little success. It was huge. But if you are just doing a sheer accounting where all successes are weighted evenly, Abe comes up on the short side of the ledger, honest!

That's not how life works, though. We don't give up in life, those of us with even a little tenacity, because we understand that for most folks, life is measured in its victories, rather than its defeats. Lincoln lost in seven elections, but he never lost the conviction that he had something to offer, that he was designed to be a contributor to the human experience. And once he got his shot, he made the most of it.

How many of us are content for so much less. We may have taken a courageous step at one point in life, only to get our hand slapped or our ego bruised. But unlike Lincoln, many of us never again venture into the unknown, taking a great risk to have the chance at experiencing a great reward.

The President also showed us insight to another secret about greatness. He is remembered because his largesse benefitted other people. He took great steps of faith, requiring tremendous personal sacrifice, because he recognized that failing to do so would perpetuate a great injustice and travesty to humanity. He understood that he alone had the power, the authority, the influence to initiate change, and that he would have to give an account for those blessings under his stewardship if he didn't act immediately and decisively.

How many of us are men and women of influence? Maybe not on the scale of Abraham Lincoln, but you influence somebody. Maybe it is your children. Maybe it is your parents. Maybe your friends, or neighbors, or co-workers. How many of you have an opportunity to enact change in the lives of someone else, and are being the given the chance to do so today -- quickly and decisively.

Each of us has an opportunity to positively impact the life of someone else. To give an encouraging word, to offer a message of hope. Each one of us can do something significant, even if the action itself doesn't seem terribly dramatic. It's just a matter of stepping out in faith, and doing it.

Be tenacious. The world is better because of it.

the bubble has burst

Okay, I'm back to being a marsupial, and i'm thinking it had to have been a tech glitch that caused me mammalian status, becaue I'm wayyyy down on the list, despite not having lost traffic.

This makes it easier to plug on toward the Spare Change launch.

aptly stated

A well-written column worth being read in its entirety concludes with a succinct representation of my own thoughts:

If character is the issue, Bush can relax. And, if doing your bit for national security is the issue, then John Kerry's been Awol for two decades.

via inoperable terran

TWOTD

Kelli and I spent wwwaaaaaaaayyyyy too long playing World Dictator/Sitcom Character Quiz.

Kelli earned her props by stumping the site on her first try. After that, our best effort was thinking of a sitcom character that only 4 others had.

Lots of fun for the easily entertained.

Link gracias to the evangelical outpost.

sung to the tune of i can only imagine

When I was young, I was shocked and dismayed to learn that Rick Astley wasn't the tall black man from Detroit that I had pictured in my mind's eye. No, he was a scrawny pimply, white kid from England singing about love, loss, and broken hearts.

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you go
Never gonna somethin' somethin', or hurt youoooOOooo....

I don't think my preconceived notions ever match the reality once the two are forced to reconcile. I mean, I actually believed that the meat of Taco Bell was hiqh quality beef product, and not the "Grade D: Edible" that it really is.

Things are no different with the work of my life. Each and every time, I think I've some decent idea of what to expect with each job I take, only to discover that the challenges, the opportunities, the frustrations, and the growth all occur differently than I had expected. When I pastored, the things I thought I'd dislike I grew to enjoy. In my current work, the parts that I was really looking forward to doing are the aspects that I have been shocked to discover are my least favorite.

So, my (in)ability to "picture this" is pretty well-established. Even so, I read words that tell me about the home in which I will one day dwell, and I cannot help but to start imagining how it will be:

• immense light


• no darkness


• transparent walls


• mansions for everyone


• total contentment


• no sin


• bejeweled city gates


• golden streets


• peace


• Jesus, in His fullness

I try to picture it, and fail miserably...

1 Cor. 2:9
That's why we have this Scripture text:

No one's ever seen or heard anything like this,
Never so much as imagined anything quite like it--
What God has arranged for those who love him.
-- The Message

a new dynamic

This has been a relational exchange between Kelsi and myself or Kelli:

One of the Parents: Kelsi, get your finger out of your nose!
Kelsi (extending a finger with an emerald gem encrusted upon it): Here.
OotP: Thank you SO MUCH!

i spit on your chocolates

This is what I got Kelli for Valentine's day.

We're having a bit of a hard time finding the right setting for it.

polly, meet anna

via common sense and wonder, I learned of authors who are pseudonymously praising their own work through online reviews.

I'm amazed at this. I shouldn't be, but I am.

And I'm not alone, because a reader from Georgia writes, "Bryan, I couldn't agree more with your writing. It is clearly some of the most insightful on the internet. The blogosphere is better because of your efforts."

It's sure good that an unsolicited affirmation arrives just in time to share my dismay over such disgraceful acts of self-promotion.

Sickening indeed.

boycott barbie

She comes with her own picket sign that reads:

Don't MATTEL me who to love!

She also wears thick-soled shoes, perfect for marching in front of corporate headquarters, and features the ever-clenched permafist^TM to be raised in defiance to "Tha Man."

Boycott Barbie also wears with pride a tatoo on her left shoulder in a tastefully feminine design B+K TLA.

***

I did in fact send an email complaint to Mattel, though I suppose to no avail. My complaint has been registered, at least in my own insignificant way.

monk-ey shines

All the monks in a certain monastery sing the simple word "Morning!" from their windows each sunrise.

Early one day after several "Morning!" greetings have been sung melodiously into the dawn air, a single greeting of "Evening!" rings out of one window.

In the courtyard below, Brother Timothy looks around startled, and says "Did you hear that, Brother Edward?"

"Hear what, Brother Timothy?" replied Brother Edward.


Brother Timothy sang in reply: "Someone chanted evening..."

almost standing upright

I noticed today that the blog has finally evolved into a large mammal. There's a good chance I'll probably slip back to my marsupial state since I'm barely hanging from the rung on the next step of this evolutionary ladder. Even so, I appreciate the increasing readership.

i knew he was gay

Okay, Barbie and Ken broke up.

I have to tell you, in all seriousness, I don't like this one bit.

As the parent of children who play with these dolls, I don't like some wonks at Mattel thinking it would be a clever idea to redefine their relationship. I don't remember giving them permission to invalidate the nature of my kids' toys' pretend relationships.

Not a big deal? Perhaps not. But I'm glad my daughter wasn't watching TV when this was reported as news. That's what really sticks in my craw -- that I may have been forced to explain an adult concept to a child in an arena where I'd really rather not. And I still may have to if Kaylyn comes home from hearing about this at school and asks me "what does it mean that they 'broke up?'" She doesn't know what "broke up" means. She has parents who love each other and have kept their wedding vows. She has grandparents who are into their third and fourth generations of marriage. She has four widowed great-grandmothers who have never divorced. I don't need a doll introducing the concept of matrimonial or relational discontent into her life, thank you very much.

Well, I don't really care what these idjits say...when Ken and Barbie interact in the McAnally home, they're still quite happily together. If the folks over at Corporate don't like it, they can go play by themselves.

two thumbs up

Okay...this cracks me up...

Movieoke.

movies I could movieoke:

• Braveheart


• Sixteen Candles


• The Breakfast Club


• Moulin Rouge


• Major League


• Wayne's World


• Shrek


• Ocean's 11


• Grease

There's probably others....



linked by the Patriot.

sung to the tune of torn between two lovers

One is the lover of my soul -- my Savior.

The other is the lover of my flesh -- my self.

You see, I saw this photo over at Broken Masterpieces, and have decided that it embodies everything that i love and despise about this world.

On the one hand, I am totally looking forward to this movie, and I intend to view it as an act of worship. The thought of munching on popcorn and slurping down a gallon of Cola while the depiction of the Christ's crucifixion is just asyllogistic to my limited reasoning abilities.

On the other hand, I am justatinybit suspicious/concerned over the tremendous financial windfall that is about to come to Mr. Gibson regarding the the suffering of Jesus. Please know I'm not judging him... I don't despise him making a profit. He's worked hard at producing this movie and has made a great personal investment. He deserves to be rewarded for it. I don't envy him his impending good fortune (literally). I just am very interested to see how the profits of this movie (which will be significant) will be used. I know that if I were him, it would be incredibly tempting to capitalize on this in a very carnal matter, which is probably just another in a long list of reasons why I'm not him. I pray for him to be protected from such temptations.

On the one hand, I am totally for anything that communicates the sacrifice of Jesus to the general population.

On the other hand, I have a hard time seeing the announcement of His sacrifice surrounded by logos for batteries, automobiles, and an anti-depressant (which is really confusing -- are they're saying the movie will drive you to be charged with depression?) Its the intermingling of religion and commerce that troubles me.

On the one hand, I'm rooting for a Nascar racer for the first time in my life.

On the other hand, that motivation will likely pass as quickly as the pace car after lap 1.

On the one hand....but on the other.....

How do you feel about this?

fivefriday

1. Are you superstitious?
no. not anymore. not since I read that story about that kid whose mother broke her back even though the child *promised* he didn't step on a crack. if you can't trust time-tested wisdom, how can we depend on anything? So, no more salt over the shoulder, or avoiding black cats. In fact, I keep an umbrella in my office opened all the time, just to spite superstition.

2. What extremes have you heard of someone going to in the name of superstition?
I've heard all the stories you've heard. I used to wear this hideous black dress shirt with a red tie and white slacks on (basketball) game days in high school, because it was "lucky." The outfit earned me the nickname Guido, which I've alway's felt was disparaging to Italians, advancing malicious stereotypes.

3. Believer or not, what's your favorite superstition?
I had a chem teacher/football coach who used to say that if you said "rabbit" as soon as you awoke on the first day of the month, your entire month would be a good one. he always asked, 'did you say rabbit?' and i'd never remember, and always felt guilty for not having the discipline to remember.

4. Do you believe in luck? If yes, do you have a lucky number/article of clothing/ritual?
No, I don't believe in luck because it means that God is partial and/or not sovereign. We can discuss that more if you want. I used to love my football number (37) because it was my two lucky numbers, and it was also my brother's when he was a player. His talent didn't transcend to me by virtue of sharing the number. I think its because some no-talent wore it in between our wearing it, and he took all the talent and replaced it with lameness. It took all the talent I had just to overcome the lame-osity that he filled it up with, which certainly resulted in my mediocrity.

Oh, wait, I don't believe in luck. No offense intended, mr. no-talent. I'm sure you're a very nice person.

5. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?
No. Because my sign was cancer the crab. Which I always thought was a double shot of bad medical karma. Never wanted either of 'em, so never really followed the stars, so to speak.

did britney read blogger idol iv?

Ms. Spears responded to an altar call.

Good for her. I'm pleased she recognized and fulfilled her need to worship God. I pray (literally) that her response to the Spirit's movement in her life will bear fruit.

colorado blogster

I've added the blogster, a Coloradoan, to the blogroll. He's popped up at a couple other respected sites, so I'm taking some time to check him out.

dude, plead the fifth!

Senator Kerry, you have the right to avoid self-incrimination!

check out this from his own web page...and read the caption to the bottom-most photo!

I really intended to stay out of this, but this was too funny to pass!

Link was offered in Michele's comments.

done this one before i have

Loyalty is one of your strongest traits. Though young and somewhat brash, you also express a deep sense of respect for those around you and try the best you can to please and follow their wishes. Though somewhat shy and introverted, you possess a quiet depth and your goodness radiates. If I were a Star Wars character, I would be: Obi-Wan Kenobi. Take the "Which Star Wars Character Am I?" Quiz by Always Two There Are

maybe not...I don't ever remember being obi wan. although I recently told Cotter I was much more a Ewan Obi than I was an Alec Obi.

He had no idea what I meant.

Linked to via Jared who no doubt would appreciate your prayers for the complete healing of his precious daughter.

fly little birdy

After months of preparation and more edits than I can count, we're ready to test pilot our men's small group resource. If you are a man, especially one who is a part of or leads men's ministry in your own congregation, and you'd like to look at the effort, I'd love to send you our pilot version for you to give feedback. We need to see if this thing has wings and can meets the need.

If you are interested email me at ameATnambDOTnet.

sung to the tune of do it to me one more time

Again, I apologize for the title, but it happens to be one of the cover tunes sung by the duo mentioned in the previous title.

And I mention that to alert you that Randy has weighed in on the subject, completely apart from the discussion going on here.

they're not gay, they just sing as though they are

Can you name the title reference?

Well, its being used because it was the random thought that hit my frontal lobe as I chase a rabbit here. Gratuitous linkage for the winner.

I'm in a bit of a discussion over at Quality Control, where Jon asked the simple question, "do you support gay marriage?" I gave a verbose non-reply in his comments section, which he very intelligently deconstructed.

Essentially, he called my bluff. It turns out that I'm not able to stick my toe in the water without inevitably diving in head-first. And because doing so might eventually leave water rings on the coffee table, I figured I might as well continue the discussion here, where I'll ruin my own furniture, and where you all have a chance to share your thoughts on the matter.

I'm just hoping I can do a better job than the time I made so many people angry for calling the gay Episcopal priest "Rev. Happypants." Maybe I shouldn't have even brought that up again. Anyway....back to the topic.

I originally stated in Jon's post that the question of gay marriage really wasn't germaine Jermaine Tito Janet Exhibitionism relevant to the real matter, which I also declined to address since it would lead away from Jon's question. I posited that to continue arguing over gay marriage merely continues a sad tradition of both disagreeing sides arguing just against the other side, and not really making progress toward resolution of the real problem.

So, two points...gay marriage, and "the real issue." And to deal with the latter, you must deal with the former. The real issue is homosexuality. A person's opinion regarding homosexuality probably shapes their stand on gay marriage, correct? By logical extension, since my opinion on homosexuality has no bearing on another person's decision regarding homosexuality, my opinion regarding gay marriage will likely carry little influence regarding a homosexual person's decision to marry, regardless of what the "law of the land" declares. History has proven that homosexual individuals will not have a lack of ministers willing to ceremonially validate their pledges of fidelity and union. Homosexual couples will consider their relationships as real and as valid as a heterosexual couples, regardless of whether or not their union is affirmed by legal definitions.

The issue, though, obviously is not only pertinent in the arenas of spiritual and relational bonds. It also carries with it the very weighty matter of civic and legal representations and rights. It should be obvious that theological and/or social conservatives will oppose homosexual marriages because such unions are manifestation of what is perceived to be a moral abomination. Inevitably, this opposition extends to the civic and legal implications, as well. However, what may not be so obvious, is that we have possibly lost the moral authority of our "Judeo/Christian heritage" because of past decisions that have allowed the legality of unions where heterosexual people have cohabitated for a given period of time without embracing a spiritual concept of marriage or have merely declared themselves to be married, and have accordingly been afforded the same rights and privileges of the many others who hold to a traditional, biblical understanding of the marriage union. Under such a precedent, there is a reasonable argument for homosexual people to demand equal protection under the law. However, it is when this reasonable argument is voiced, unreasonable people quickly jump to the front of the fray and misrepresent the issue as well as the possible resolution. So it goes when the secular and the religious determine to tango.

I can understand why vigilant conservatives stand up and speak out against an issue they believe to be in direct opposition to what they believe to be holy. I agree with these people and support their efforts, because I am like-minded. I concur that a silence permitting gay marriage continues a wholly unhealthy moral decline. This is separate and distinct from the civic implications, but certainly related. However, I again return that --for me-- the real issue is not whether or not I am for or against gay marriage. The issue also isn't whether I'm for or against gay people. The issue before the country is whether or not we will or not agree to establish and submit to laws that are deferential acknowledgments and declarations of obedience to the mandates of a divine Creator.

I am not against any person. I am for people, generally speaking. However, if I am truly goin gto be an advocate for every person, I cannot and will not advocate the legality of a pursuit that opposes what has been established by the Creator to be unhealthy and unholy. This is why I do not advocate the legality of homosexual marriage, gambling, abortion, no-fault divorce, legalization of drugs, and so on. This is why I'm not "for" a wide range of laws and practices that our secular culture has accepted and endorsed. It's not that I judge any person who takes part in these actions, for I am a man who has many many flaws of my own and have no moral authority to judge others. But I cannot in clear conscience advocate the construction of a society that facilitates its own implosion.

Jon, in his last paragraph makes his stand quite clear. In doing so, he illustrates why arguing over the symptom is unfruitful. He likens homosexuality to other established minorities. Accordingly, his declaration implies that the issue of homosexuality is devoid of any spiritual implication, which is an intrinsic affront to those who believe otherwise. Calling someone a "Bible thumping hippie" is about as productive and conciliatory as calling someone "Rev. Happypants," even if either one is guilty as labeled! We have two inctractable sides, and no law will completely satisfy both sides.

I think Jon's in agreement with this (the immediately previous sentence, that is), and states that dialogues are then most profitable for the individual as a means for clarifying individual dogma. I concur. I have little hope that my words will do more than cause those who were already in agreement to say in varying degrees, "right on!" and those who were already in disagreement to say in varying degrees, "what an idiot!" However, this is not a fight to be won by bashing one another, literally or figuratively. In fact, I'd submit that the only hope that I and my colleagues have to "win" is to re-evaluate our perception of victory. We must cease thinking so highly of ourselves, and start thinking of those "on the other side" as real people with instrinsic worth, value, and intellect. We should go so far as to actually cease thinking of ourselves and think first and most of them. We need to sacrifice for them, but without compromise. We should serve them, but not abandon truth. We must love them in word and in deed, and trust God to take care of the issues that only He can handle.

How are such efforts manifested? I don't know if I'm the one to say, but I know you don't concede. You just quit fighting the battles that won't make a difference so you can expend your energies on the ones that will. I know that you must fight for Truth because we're all falling for lies every day. But I also know that you treat other people well, you ask for forgiveness when you mess up, and you forgive the other side when they do the same. Be the first person there to help and the last one to condemn. Be ready to speak truth, but only when its established in the context of love, lest it be confused for legalism. Again, I'm no expert, and I'm guilty of breaking every rule I just listed. It doesn't make me a hypocrite. It makes me human. But I'm trying. Because I just so desperately want to keep the main thing the main thing, and let other people deal with the other stuff.

you loved him as Jesus

The Final Cut is the next movie for Jim Caviezel, after The Passion of the Christ.

It looks like its another flick with spiritual overtones, too.

how it works

Cicumstances vary,
Need is constant...

Provisions vary,
Sufficiency is constant.

an open letter

Dear Lady in the Blue Celica:

Today, you and I shared a brief encounter that was no doubt significant. As we both made our southbound commute down Highway 400-19 at approximately 7:13 this morning, our paths crossed in a dramatic way.

You first saw me approaching in my silver Dodge Durango coming up into your rearview mirror at a rate that I can only assume you found to be alarming. I make this assumption based upon the size of your bulging eyeballs which were easily discernable in the reflection of your mirror. The gesticulation of your arms surprisingly did not distract from your buggy eyes, but rather drew attention to them, a bit like Marty Feldman from Young Frankenstein. While it is possible that I may have been slightly exceeding the speed limit, it is even more plausible that you were operating your vehicle in the left land well under the speed minimum, unless of course, your vehicle was a 1906 horse-drawn carriage.

Rest assured, when I repeatedly and incessantly pushed on the horn, it was not to alarm you further, or to possibly compel you to direct your vehicle into the rightmost lane along with the other rickshaws, antique tandem bicycles, and Segways merging into the flow of traffic. I was merely introducing myself to you by giving an auditory Morse presentation of my license plate, which may have been difficult for you to read, given that it would have been backwards due to the reverse nature of mirrored reflections. I thought this might serve as a useful introduction in case we were to ever meet again in a similar situation. Also, the repeated flashing of my headlights were to by no means be construed as a further effort to force your acquiescence. I happened to be listening to my favorite Outkast song at the moment on near-deafening decibels, and the clickety-clack of the headlight dimmer just accentuated the multisensory experience of rapping along with the boys.

As I swerved by on the right, I happened to look over into the cabin of your sky blue minicruiser. Our eyes met for just a moment, but I've seen that look often enough during the daily commute to recognize pure, unbridled terror when I observe it. I openly acknowledge the possibility that your fear was indeed induced by the sight of me, head tilted back, askew as I cupped a quickly disintegrating sloppy, cheesy, saucy breakfast burrito with both hands, while trapping my cell phone between left ear and shoulder. I just want to comfort you with the knowledge that I was actually in relatively full command of my vehicle, driving with my left knee, steering by virtue of the rotational axis point which was the ball of my left foot. I have learned that in these scenarios, the maneuverability of the landcraft increases proportionately with the acceleration of the vehicle, which explains why I vaulted past you so rapidly.

I want to close by offering my gratitude for your thoughtfulness as I promptly and decisively returned to the left lane immediately in front of you. It was tremendously courteous of you to slam on your brakes to provide me with an adequately safe berth between our autos. You quickly became indistinguishible from the mass of other cars, trucks, and SUVs filling the highway as I continued down the road. I just want to return the compliment that you offered by enthusiastically waving the digitary gesture out from the driver's side window, it didn't go unnoticed:

I think "You're #1!" too!

Have a great day and remember to drive safely!

am i the only one #3

Am I the only person who, when an elevator opens as I pass by, and no one is on it and no one is boarding it, likes to imagine that the office's invisible employees are reporting for work?

I'm not pointing fingers, but

There's a funky smell that I can't locate.

I'm thinking one of Kelsi's diapers has evolved into a stinkbomb.

We keep a clean house, but occasionally ask one of the other kids to dispose of her plutionium-grade emissions. I'm not demeaning Cotter, but if there's a television airing anything from Fox News to Playhouse Disney, you can guarantee he'll lose focus on his mission and be found standing in a stupor in front of the tube.

Sometimes with the diaper extended at arm's length, sometimes missing altogether. When you finally get him to snap to attention, he's completely unable to account for time, place, and purpose.

One thing is for certain. It's going to get worse before it gets better. And it can't hide for long.

big week for blogger idol

I've groan to enjoy reeding threw the different interpretations on a given theme. This weak had the most good redes, awn the optic of "Ooops." In know particle ardor:

Andrew misspeaks in church. In my first sermon, I blurted out "circumcision" for no good reason.
Ian gets confessional. We should follow his example.
ljbrown offers a picturesque oops. And he captures the wit of the moment, too.
Ryan thought about spoofing a song. Like me, he changed his mind.
Vania almost peed on her mom. Top that if you can. On second thought, please don't even try.
Joshua offers some passion-ate advice. Coming soon, Bobble Head Jesus with Kung Fu Grip.
Christopher get biblical. And encourages me that God does amazing work with crackpots broken vessels.
Darren talks politics. And shows he already knows more than most folks.
Matt thought about spoofing a song. Unlike me, he went ahead and did it. And pretty well, too.

Just a closing thought....I think it to be one of the most maddening trivialities, but it oh so annoys me when somebody spells oops opps. I always want to assume its an unintentional typo, but I inevitably read it repeatedly. Opps. Do you not hear the "ooooooooo" element of it? I'm glad I never mistakes. Well I did once. But it turns out I didn't. Opps!

blog in the spotlight

I've never done a "blog of the month" or anything like that. I'd forget to be consistent. I link pretty often to the ones I hit regularly, and the ones that hit me regularly.

Occasionally, though, I do like to mention a blog or two that I really appreciate, despite not mentioning it all that often.

Case in point is Thinklings. This blog is the source for a hundred entries of mine that I've intended to write, but failed to for one reason or another. The Thinklings crew consistently posts good stuff that makes the motors whir.

Today, for example, you can read front page posts on James Bond, Tim LaHaye in Rolling Stone, and a couple different deep thoughts on important spiritual issues. This blog does a great job of engaging the culture and offering a consistent witness.

twofer

A daily double from WSJ BOTW:

UK kids are being warned about the impotence of cling wrap to serve as a contraceptive or STD barrier. Shouldn't this story be on Scrappleface?

And on the "B" Side...Howard Dean's talking with kids about drinking Whiz Cola:

"Now that we're on dog pee, we can have an interesting conversation about that," Dean said. "I do not recommend drinking urine . . . but if you drink water straight from the river, you have a greater chance of getting an infection than you do if you drink urine."

And they're saying Dubya is a poor communicator? He may make up a word or two from time to time, but at least he's not been caught talking about *this.* Sounds to me like the pot calling the kettle yellow.

c'mon, all the cool kids are reading it

Marla has a good post comparing will power to self control.

about 'face

this might be the most important inane announcement ever. This decision was made during a heightened alert time, over concern of "a terrorist courier."

Thanks to webel for the link.

sung to the tune of....oh my...just see for yourself

Dappled Things has compiled an extensive (but not exhaustive) list of secular music with Christian/biblical references. Interesting stuff.

rethinking my dinner theater plans

You're Honest Abe!


Which Historical Ruler Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


From Tony, who's Bush. Between us, we're quite the pair.

conditional apologies are worthless

I've ranted about non-apologies before, so I won't do it again. I'll just illustrate that Mr. Timberlake's is a perfect example of one:

Justi-fying Timberlake
"What occurred was unintentional, completely regrettable and I apologize if you guys were offended."
-- Said in an acceptance speech at the 2004 Grammies

Translation: What occurred as a backlash to my irresponsible ploy with Ms. Jackson was unintentional and completely regrettable. I apologize if you were offended, but not if you weren't. If you were offended, then you have a problem and I apologize that you are so weak and pathetic and close-minded. I'm really sorry for you that you aren't enlightened and free-spirited like the rest of us, the normal non-puritanical world."

CBS exposes the boob. Nothing like a forced apology to gain airtime and sustain a career.

did she leaf him at the alter?

That would explain why he looked so ash-en.


Ohhh...we got a million of 'em for the story of the two trees that were recently married in India, as an attempt to appease a rain god.

The Bride Wore A Green & Brown Vera Wang


Other punny details:

• It was a double ring ceremony


• The couple had to marry in India due to the USA's restrictive marriage policies


• The groom answered the question, "Wood he ever tie the knot?"


• A neem tree was married to a peepul tree -- they haven't decided which way to raise the twigs


• You could say this cleric was part of a nutty branch of his religion


• The traditional first anniversary gift is paper -- can that be considered cannibalism?


• The reception was highlighted by the talents of Michelle Branch, the comedy stylings of Don Knotts, and a poetry reading by Leif Garrett


• The pair plans to honeymoon in Vegas, staying at The Palms


• They've already settled on names for the twigs, when they sprout: Chipper, Woody, Willow, Filbert, and George Bush.

los carnivales estan presentado

Vanities

Christian

The Bonfire's been burning brightly for a couple days now, with no sign of flickering.

good grief

random $P@/\/\ :

Tired of not being successful with the ladies? Imagine walking in to place and walking out with the 3 most beautiful girls - no fancy car, no wad of cash, no buying them drinks, just all the dirty little tricks of dating you need to know.

Unbelievable. And for what its worth, I'm a little concerned that a guy who is so unsuccessful "with the ladies" can think a series of "dirty little tricks" will equip him to handle three women at once, all vying for his attention and devotion. You gotta learn how to float before you try to swim across the English Channel, buddy.

name dropping

Here's a link to the newly-developing blog written by Dan Perdue, a son of Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue. He's a bit of a techie and a pretty nice guy. I'm excited to learn of another MT guy who knows more than me (yes, that line is a long one indeed), and may be willing to share his wisdom for a good cause.

No, he hasn't offered. Yes, I'm just making an assumption. And you know what they say about assumptions? you show that you're as sump shuns..no...wait...you're a SS ump...no that's not it....oh nevermind.

Just go read his blog.

passion resources

And for all you random hunters who have stumbled across this blog googling for marital aids, my title may be a little misleading. Two SBC agencies are providing evangelistic resources in coordination with the upcoming release of The Passion of The Christ.

NAMB's resources

Lifeway's resources

I pray they help accomplish God's purposes.

news max inside scoop

"You get to a place where, you know, you have to re-evaluate your insides and like, change, because, you know, I'm a monster. I mean I can be," he said, according to the Los Angeles Times. "It's like, you know, I've been offered every kind of excess that money and fame brings and it's not good enough."

Gibson made his remarks during a 40-minute live Q&A before 3,800 invited guests at the evangelical Azusa Pacific University on Saturday.

As he has from the very beginning of the controversy, Gibson emphatically denied that the film, which depicts in exceedingly graphic scenes the suffering of Jesus during the last 12 hours of his life, is anti-Semitic.

The Times reported that when Gibson was asked whether the film will foster anti-Semitism, he said "I'm not anti-Semitic. My Gospels are not anti-Semitic. ... I've shown it to many Jews and they're like, it's not anti-Semitic. It's interesting that the people who say it's anti-Semitic say that before they saw the film, and they said the same thing after they saw the film."

One critic of the heavy marketing of the film, Kenneth L. Waters Sr., assistant professor of the New Testament at Azusa Pacific University, said that while he thinks the marketing aspect is a little bit too heavy-handed, personally, he called the film "gripping and very captivating ... and pretty much held the line as far as the biblical story was concerned." He told the Times he did not think the film was anti-Semitic.

Rabbi Marvin Hier, dean of the Simon Wiesenthal Center in Los Angeles, has seen the film twice and repeated his widely reported charge that the movie is "the work of Mel Gibson" and not a story from the New Testament, a criticism denied by scores of biblical experts who have seen it and testified that it faithfully follows the Gospels.

"As someone who has dealt with the issue of anti-Semitism professionally since 1977, I know about what it is more than Mel Gibson," Hier said. "Every Jew who appears in this film, except for the disciples of Christ, are portrayed cruelly and portrayed as a people with an almost sinister look in their eyes. ... Jews who see this film, I believe, will be overwhelmingly horrified."

Gibson supporters, however, stress the fact that many of those who have seen the film are themselves Jewish, and deny they saw anything anti-Semitic about it.

Speaking of the film's R-rating, Gibson said it is justified given that the scenes of the crucifixion are brutal and relentless. "Part of what I was endeavoring to do was to kind of push it to the edge a little bit," he said. When it was suggested that he could have toned the film down, Gibson responded, "Dude, I did tone it down."

The film premiers in over 2,000 theaters on Ash Wednesday, Feb. 25. Experts say it could recover the $30 million Gibson spent making it in as little as five days.

My pastor just secured tickets to an advance screening. He just laughed when I suggested he try to find me one.

bye bye brogblog

Today is Kyle's last day. He'll be heading away to Hattiesburg, MS, to be a part of BMDMI, as their director of communications. I'm thankful for his friendship and look forward to hearing how God blesses him and his family.

Please pray for their safety as they travel, for their home here in GA to sell quickly, and for a prosperous ministry that impacts eternity.

an editing question

in your perception, is there a difference between saying, "planning where you are meeting next..." and "planning where your next meeting is...."

Which is more engaging, more positive? Should either or both be avoided? Suggestions for alternatives?

its all downhere from here

I can't comment on the following inbox fodder experientially, especially because this has a bit of a feminine bent to it...

Midlife is when
... the growth of the hair on your legs slows down. This gives you plenty of time to care for your newly acquired mustache.

...you bounce (a lot), but you don't bounce back. It's more like splat!

...you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old, you have to pay someone to look at you naked.

...you go for a mammogram and you realize it is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless in a film.

...you receive the wisdom that life throws you curves and that you're now sitting on your biggest ones.

...you look at your latte-swilling, beeper-wearing know-it-all teenager and think, "For this I have stretch marks?"

...your memory really starts to go: the only thing you still retain is water.

...the glass is still half-full. Of course, the bad news is that it won't be long before your teeth are floating in it.

...you're in the grocery store and you hear a Muzak version of "Stairway to Heaven" in the produce department.

...your 1970's Body-by-Jake now includes Legs-by-Rand McNally (more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of the state of Wisconsin).

...you start pondering the "big" questions: what is life, why am I here and how much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat
before it's no longer a healthy choice?

clark barred

The General has surrendered.

And I'm wondering just how many others will utilize these highly original titles and statements in conveying the same message elsewhere.

Hey, I work for Bush, I'll extend my creative energies in his direction, or at least for his benefit.

decision '04

With the results in that Kerry has "pasted" VA & TN (once again revealing Gore's tremendous [lack of] political clout), reported with near ebulliance by the NBC wonks who could barely conceal their glee that the Nor'easter Blowhard swept through the South against a weak field of competition, I offer this, found at Bible.Org's 10,000 illustrations, this one regarding leadership:

Selecting A New President
When the board of directors of a large food company was considering the selection of a new president, one of the directors worked out this questionnaire:

1. Who of the possible candidates is the best known as a personality to the most company people?

2. Who is the most liked and trusted by them?

3. Who is held in the highest regard outside the organization...in public life and “in the trade”?

4. Who is the most warmly human in his dealings with people?

5. Who has demonstrated the best capacity for selecting able people, and the greatest willingness to delegate authority and responsibility?

6. Who will be apt to do the best job of keeping his desk and mind clear of day-to-day operating problems, so he will have time to think in broader terms of tomorrow and next year?

7. Who does the boldest—yet soundest—thinking?

8. Who is most open-minded and willing to revise decisions when important new facts come to light?

9. Who inspires the best cooperation and exercises the best control and coordination, without “trespassing” on responsibility once delegated?

10. Who is most self-possessed in all situations, best able to adjust to personalities and circumstances and tact and understanding?

11. Who can be depended upon to make the most of a promising new plan or idea?

12. Who can “take it” the best under a heavy load of responsibility?

13. Who is the best builder of the people under him?

14. Who is most likely, in good times and bad, to remember that the basic job of the president is to operate the business at a profit?

In a two-candidate race, between the Appeaser Dem and the Tested GOPer, I'll stick with the incumbent.

truly, wit?!?!?!

Christopher has rendered me speechless with the anecdote of a mother who just might be worthy of losing parenting rights...at least for a temporary period, where she could decide if that was, in fact, her final answer (please excuse me for mixing my infotainment references). Maybe if it were Simon shaming her, she might be compelled to parent.

TWOTD

Demolition Derby mash 'em bash 'em

compounding problem

I'm all for women voting. I'm just saying if you're going to make a TV movie about it, two details.

First, hyphenate compound adjectives.

Second, make sure your lead female actor actually has registered to vote.

guilty

No matter how convincing I sound when I call it "research," the result remains:

Yes, you are wasting time.


Are you wasting time?
brought to you by Quizilla

carry-ed away

From News Max's Left Coast Report:

Jim Carrey has discovered something that a lot of folks in La-La Land and society at large have yet to find out: There's a difference between pleasure and happiness.

Carrey tells Playboy magazine he has given up almost all pleasurable pursuits and is living like a monk.

"I don't eat wheat. I don't eat dairy. I don't smoke cigarettes. I don't smoke pot. All these things I've enjoyed. I live very sparingly," the actor explains.

Carrey goes on to say, "Heaven is the other side of that feeling you get when you're sitting on the couch and you get up and make a triple-decker sandwich. It's on the other side of that, when you don't make the sandwich. It's about sacrifice ..."

I always find it interesting when celebrity lends its voice to spirituality. It's also interesting how he juxtaposes wheat and dairy consumption with tobacco and chronic consumption. I'd also agree that heaven is about sacrifice, but it's impossible to tell if our world views are similar or disparate without further self-disclosure (on his part, that is).

ms. manners-in-training

Kelli: Kelsi, would you like more bread?

Kelsi: Yes

Kelli: Excuse me?

Kelsi: Yes...ma'am.

Kelli: Very goooood..here you go.

Me: Kelsi, would you like more apple juice?

Kelsi: Yes

Me: Excuse me?

Kelsi: Yes...ma'am.....daddy?!?

Me: eh...close enough. Here you go.

got a light?

The latest bonfire has been lighted....bask in the warmth of bad blogging.

what is...a good guy finishing first?

The answer is: Tom Walsh, the most successful Jeopardy champion ever. Here's Mr. Walsh's blog...his success has to be good for his blog, which he mentioned twice in his interview, like any good blogger should.

Links via Gleeful Extremist.

orlando produce, spiritually speaking

Here is the link to Pat Morley's presentation to our state partners in Orlando. Good reading for men who take seriously the matters of Christ transforming every aspect of their lives.

sung to the tune of oops....i did it again

I earnestly tried to write a parody of Ms. Spears' song with a theological message. I was embarrassed with the result, which probably meant it was the perfect candidate. Even so, I have enough self-respect to avoid that train wreck.

The fact is, I am the King of Oops. You've not been on a trip with me unless we've made at least two U-turns. I often say I don't apologize unless I mean it, but I still apologize often. Despite priding myself for communication skills, it seems like 90 percent of the conflicts I meet have to do with mistakes in communication. And the most telling thing is, there has yet to be a day in my life that I can cognitively recall where I have not had to realign myself with the Lord at one point or another. Every single day, I start off with great intentions. I plan to live for him, and if necessary, die for him (although I believe the former to be much more difficult than the latter). I intend to speak up and speak out for His name's sake. I have the most sincere intent to be a living witness with every thought, every word, and every action. But then I get out of bed, stub my toe, and the plans are shot.

It's only by God's grace and provision that I'm anything more than the oafish stooge I can still adeptly manufacture in moments of unbridled self. It is God who gives me wisdom, who provides me with patience and understanding. It is God alone who offers a capacity to love and give that is an otherwise altogether unidentifiable personal trait. If I am a good husband, a good father, a good worker, a good churchman, a good man...it is because of God and God alone. And what is truly amazing is that God has accomplished this in me, through and occasionally in spite of my "oops" moments. God has repeatedly demonstrated throught my ineptitude and total lack of ability that He is worthy, He is able, and He is sufficient. By this, He has shown that if He can accomplish these great and wonderful things in someone so incredible flawed as myself, than how much more so can He through the rest of you.

Friends, I tell you this is no false modesty. I am nothing without God. I bring nothing to the table. Even the things that I once thought I brought to the table I now recognize that I only did because God first provided them to me. Wit, talent, knowledge, flair...all God. And when it fails, its because I have misused what God has given. When it succeeds, its because God has accomplished it. Without God, I would be flat on my face without a single hope, without a single ability to even lift myself off the ground and accomplish even the most basic effort toward accomplishing an aspiration. However, through faith in the Christ who lives within me, I am more than a conqueror. I am mighty and I am victorious. I can do all things through Him. I can move mountains and I can accomplish everything that is set before me. And when those mountains are moved and those tasks are accomplished, it is not I who did it, but Christ through me.

I've learned important lessons along the way from my "oops" moments. Lessons like "don't get in knife-throwing contests with a short-tempered sibling" and "Flinging the dog poo over the fence into the neighbor's yard isn't the same as 'cleaning it up (don't worry, both of those were adolescent 'oops' experiences). '" I've learned recent lessons that you never misstate how long you've been with the love of your life, and you can only forget your password into payroll so many times before the administrators lose their patience. But through all my oops moments, here are some of the most important lessons I've learned, but am still learning, too:

• God cannot love me more than He does at this moment


• That love is based on who He is, not how I'm doing


• God still expects me to obey Him, because He loves me, not "so that He will love me."


• Broken fellowship with God because of my sin is proof of His holy love, not the absence of it


• If I want His fellowship, all I have to do is agree that my sin is sin, and its not His plan for me


• I have just as much or as little ability as the heroes of my faith to hear His voice and discern His will


• You can't spell "opportunities" without "oops." Mistakes can be blessings when they're used as tools for learning

Look, what I know might fill the bottom third of a shallow thimble. But I know this -- God loves me, the King of Oops. And there's no mistaking that.

kelsi's latest vernacular additions

I don't knoOOoow --"I'm inclined to disagree with you."

I don't know what to dooooooo -- "I would greatly appreciate you sharing with me some of what you are eating."

Kaywyn Muh-ee! -- "Kaylyn, my dear sister, I really want your undivided attention!"

shunshIne -- "Please sing You are my Sunshine, I like it so."

BushUHpeck -- "Please sing Bushel and a Peck, I like it so."

Teec-kle teec-kle -- "Please sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star...yes, I do like it so."

Cheeses of me, hiss I know, foda Biboe del meeso. Widowuhns dewimeelong. They weekim stong. YES Cheeses of me. YES Cheeses of meeeeee YES Cheeses of me...dubiboe del meeso -- "Thank you and goodnight. Don't forget to tip your Sunday School Teacher, and try the cheddar goldfish, they're delicious!"

lifts and separates

Here's an entertaining column regarding a surprising reason to agree with Dean, albeit for different reasons. Rumors that President Bush is asking Congress for an additional $33 Billion to fund the investigation are being confirmed.

On a related note, we did see the digitized haze obscuring the elderly lady's bosom. Of course, I'd have rather they filmed it more creatively so it had never been on film, but that wasn't the creative decision. Instead, all they accomplished was illustrating how silly a network can appear when it initially tries to be "cutting edge," only to jump back in fear when colleagues/competitors are slapped on the hand for similar, but edgier, content. The decision rendered ER the dramatic equivalent of Quincy.

what matters to bloggers

Michele offers an exit poll about what concerns you in the upcoming election. Go cast your vote.

no, you're the man!

Indeed, Tony is a generous friend. I threw out the request for a count-down script and before I could blink, he sent it my way.

I'm grateful, brother!

sung to the tune of you gotta fight for your right to 'party'

The interesting, but long, transcript of the Colorado legislature's ad hoc committee interviewing collegians about ideological discrimination on the campus and in the classroom.

I lived it. I took a multiple classes where I was ridiculed, demeaned and denigrated for being a voice of the opposition. I voiced my concerns on multiple evaluations and never observed a response. The result for me was a steeled determination to live for and share Truth. I'm not certain that others resolve to pursue similar efforts.

for coloradoans and the people that love them

from the inbox, slightly edited:

Barbies for Colorado

Highlands Ranch Barbie
This princess Barbie is only sold at Park Meadows Mall. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.

Englewood Barbie
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone sold separately.

Colfax Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

Cherry Creek Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Commerce City Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and beat the tarnation out of mullet-haired Ken when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Aspen Barbie
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard-print ski outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the lodge. Percocet prescription available.

Thornton Barbie
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Commerce City Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home.

Boulder Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Boulder Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.

Aurora Barbie
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

Arvada Barbie
She's perfect in every way. We don't know who Ken is because he's always away hunting.

Greeley Barbie
This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and three baby Barbies in the back seat, but no car seats. The optional Ken doll comes with a meat-packer's uniform and is missing three fingers on his left hand. Green cards are not available for Greeley Barbie or Ken.

Trinidad Barbie/Ken
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple "snap-on" parts.

this week, on a very special e.r.

from the inbox:

St. Peter is handling paperwork at the Pearly Gates, when he hears a knock. He looks up to see a man and says, "Be right with you!"

A moment later, he walks to the Gates, and no one is there. So he goes back to his paperwork.

Another knock, same man. St. Peter quickly signs the document he's holding, and walks to the Gates. No one is there.

A bit annoyed he goes back to the paperwork. A third knock, the same man. St. Peter throws down his pen and says, "Hey, are you playing games with me?!!?"

Much embarrassed, the man replies in small voice, "No sir! It's just that they're trying to resuscitate me."

its not the fall that hurts...

A good primer on the necessity of worker's comp.

spamcycle

Today I received nine emails in my work inbox on purchasing codeine 13.

Things aren't that bad. Really.

a simple question

Cotter: Daddy?
Me: Yes son?
Cotter: Does this color look like a booger?
Me (looking): Well...it is a booger. So, yes.
He (flicking it into the trash): I thought so!

the failed quiz...explained

1. Favorite Team -- Broncos. Explanation: I will root for all teams Colorado. Following in importance behind the Broncos are the Buffs, the Rockies, and the Nuggets. Truth be told there are probably a few teams that are more dear to me than the Nuggets, including but not limited to: The Colorado Crush (Arena Football), The Mammoth (Pro Lacrosse), The Silver Bullets (women's pro baseball), The Gold (Defunct USFL), The CSU Rams, DU Pioneers, Metro State Roadrunners, Air Force Falcons, and the Moffat County High School Bulldogs.


2. Favorite Pet -- Holly. Explanation: Other special pets include Patches, my first dog, an Austrailian Shepherd mix. He chased cars, apparently thinking they were super-powered automated sheep needing corralled. This problem was exacerbated by the extenuating fact that we lived across the street from the hospital emergency entrance at the time. You can put two and two together on that one. Bud was a great golden retriever who used to fetch golf balls. I could drive ball after ball into the hayfields and he would perch at the tee, just out of danger, and watch as I hit. He'd then sprint into the field and sniff and search until he found it. Inevitably, I'd tire before he would. He also liked to protect us from the evil and dangerous threats approaching our yard. Unfortunately, he considered deer and horses as some of those threats. I came home one day to learn that Bud had "run away," which I later understood to be euphemistic for "met a similar fate as Old Yeller."


3. Time Kelli & I have been together -- 10 1/2 years Explanation: This is the question that flawed the quiz. I was lovingly corrected by my bride that our time really is 11 years. It wasn't that I forgot time, but I forgot the important lesson of when recounting time spent with the one you love, never never never "round off." Kelli and I will celebrate our ninth year married on June 24 of this year. We originally re-discovered one another August of 1992, and consider Thanksgiving of that year our "relationship turned serious" date. So even by simple math, one could should consider Thanksgiving 2003 an 11 year anniversary.


4. Closest male friend -- Clay. Explanation: Each of these men is dear to me. Jamie, my brother, Troy, my best friend from high school, and Chris, by closest friend in college. I love one of these guys and thank God for them. Clay, though, is my friend who you'll grow to know better upon the launch of Two Sents. We were casual friends in high school who reconnected at seminary. We talk every week and pray for one another every day. We trust one another with every detail of our lives and go to one another for counsel and support. He's a great source of wisdom, truth, and understanding. Other than Kelli, I have no closer friend. He is a gifted communicator and an anointed minister. I truly look forward to the experiences and insights he and his lovely bride Laura will share with all of us in the area of student ministry as he joins the Two Sents team.


5. Worst Mom's Birthday present -- A series of stuffed owls. Explanation: This question illustrated a trend I am guilty of establishing in gift-giving to my mother. If she mentioned that she liked something, I would give it to her repeatedly until she had to announce, occasionally hysterically, that if she received one more of the given item, she might possibly go insane. The hysterical presentation lent credibility to the claim. At progressive points in our relationship, she received unfortunate series of music boxes, porcelain dolls, ceramic GOP elephants (what began as a "haha-gag" gift, and ended as "I think I'm going to throw up-gag" gift), and of course the nadir of the list, the stuffed owls. I have seen the practice repeated with my mother-in-law, though she's not gone into a conniption (although I wouldn't blame her if she chose to), regarding an overwhelming accumulation of Santa Claus figurines. Kelli has seen similar accumulations of various items, but has assured me that she'll inform me in a calm, rational manner when I've hit the limit on any given gift theme. As far as I'm concerned, I'm totally okay with people continuing to gift me with Bronco/Buff regalia, antique books, and biblical commentaries. Too much is never enough in these categories. But I've learned my lesson. I promise.


6. First Manuscript -- Delta Iota Epsilon Explanation: This cheesy title was the first draft of a hundred-plus page effort about a secret college society where a "rush event" goes horribly wrong. You see, I thought it was clever because the Greek letters of the fraternity were the equivalents to D.I.E.....pathetic, I know. It actually was a decent effort, carnally speaking. I had Kelli read it while we were dating (before I had come to faith). She'd return chapters with huge red X's through entire pages. I'd say, "what's wrong with this?" And she'd lovingly reply, "It's trash!" The other works mentioned were Fish Dance, a short story about a suicidal goldish, despondent over the loss of his tankmate. Let's just say it wasn't a happy ending. To Touch the Sun, another short story about the childhood recollections of a young man horribly injured from a house fire, a bit of a modern-day Icarus. Finally, In Your Eyes was a youthful essay written to a girl I thought I loved, in response to the Peter Gabriel song by the same name. It turns out that I didn't love her so much as I loved the idea of her. Actually, it turns out I didn't really love the idea of her so much as I love the idea of everything except her. In that regard, the title takes on an entirely different meaning than originally intended.


7. Last non-ministry job -- Video Rental Dude I also worked as a courier, an apartment manager, and fraternity president (though the president gig wasn't really a job, I treated it like one). As a courier I drove 220 miles every day, listened to countless books on tape, and got two speeding tickets and a citation for running a red light (that to this day I contend was yellow when I entered the intersection). As an apartment manager, I discovered a corpse, was invited to join a drug distribution ring in exchange for rent, and once had to comfort a Mexican woman abandoned by her husband (and illustrating to me that four years of Spanish taught me nothing about how to comfort a rapidly-but-non-English-speaking, panic-stricken woman with no money for rent). My work as a video rental dude took place in a hospital kiosk with a great Jewish entrepeneur who had a great idea to rent video machines, tapes and camcorders to patients. We were always busy renting movies & video game systems to extended-stay patients, bored with hospital TV offerings. I think of Dave Guttmann often when I watch The Apprentice, and think he'd show these posers a thing or two about initiative and creativity. I witnessed to him often, and heaven only knows the fruits of those efforts. The Lord definitely used him to sharpen me.


8. Most Foolish Prank -- Playing with Quarter Sticks of Dynamite. Explanation: Again, another confusing question, because I have done all these things, and the degree of foolishness was determined by me, solely on the potential to lose valuable extremities. As a youth, I was once arrested (but not "booked," they decided to let my dad execute justice on my guilty behind) for curfew violation. I've had no other run-ins with the law, but I've done lots of other stupid stuff. I've oft said that I could have starred in Jackass, but only if they took away all the safety measures.


9. "Celebrity" with whom I've brushed the closest -- George HW Bush. Explanation. This one was the most incorrect. I've been in the same arena as John Elway, but never closer. The restraining order has a lot to say about that matter. I've also passed by Harry Shearer (of SNL and The Simpsons) and Jerry Tarkanian (former coach of the UNLV Runnin' Rebels!) in airports. But it was crossing paths with President George HW Bush and his Secret Service Contingent on a jogging path at the Cooper Clinic in Dallas, Texas, that will forever stand out as the closest I ever came to someone important (as well as the closest I ever came to being wrestled down by a team of skilled musclemen).


10. Finally, of course, the new blog venture is Two Sents. The count-down continues!

adjust your records accordingly

Cotter McAnally
Daddy....Golf is my ninth favorite sport.

--Today, for no apparent reason

reality answers

1. Survivor All Stars
2. Road Rules
3. The Apprentice
4. Average Joe Hawaii
5. Fear Factor
6. Celebrity Mole
7. Real World
8. Meet the Folks
9. American Idol
10. Surreal Life

last call for altarcall!

Soooo....what do you think about a church in a bar?

Link gracias to Brett, who shares his opinions at his place (sorry, no permalinks).

In the tradition of Boys in the Sink

Weird Al's "I Bought on Ebay"

and, with this in mind...ebay finds:

Drew Barrymore's Eye Booger

Domesticated Flatulence in a Jar

Pair of Very Sweaty Used Men's Socks

Half-Eaten Sandwich

Somebody's Gold- and False Teeth

Aerosole Shoes/Doggie Chew Toy

Three Useless CPUs

Ernie McAnally Baseball Card (no relation...I think)

heyya redux

Here's a re-link to the the Peanuts/Outkast video. I've saved it this time on my hard drive, so now I don't have to google the next time I'm looking to smile, or deal with insomnia.

sdrawkcab ti gnitteg

This from the WSJ BOTW:

A second-grader was suspended for a day for telling a classmate he'd go to hell for swearing to God. She was told to stay home because she had violated the policy forbidding profanity.

As the BTOW rightly states, it was her counterpart who was guilty of being profane, but I doubt that his offense was what the administration had in mind when they issued their decree. They were, in all likelihood, more concerned about vulgarity, rather than profanity. On that sentiment, though, I'd submit that the girls was not even guilty of uttering a vulgarity. Soteriological issues aside, she was not being hateful, just admonitory. Whether her caution is regarded as being deported to somewhere as real as Des Moines or as fanciful as Neverland is irrelevant. What matters is that the school's leaders were so worried about silly rules that they were completely in the wrong and they stole a day from this girl's matriculation.

cool! literally.

It's lightly snowing here in North Georgia.

It won't stick, but still....

it's snowing!

whaddeesay?

As one who will one day have the need for auditory augmentation, due to years spent firing rifles, I offer the following, from the inbox:

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"

"No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday."

And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's get a drink."

blog decisions

After receiving your much valued input, I've decided that beginning March 4, 2004, Clarity amidst Chaos will be re-introduced to the blogosphere as Spare Change, a part of Two Sents.net. It will in fact be the first offering of Two Sents, which in time will provide a wide range of ministry services designed to help the local church experience health, growth, and reproduction.

I've invited a few friends to partner in this adventure. You'll be reading entries from them from time to time as they write about any matter that interests them (much like myself), but specifically in the areas of preschool, children, youth, adult ministries, men's and women's ministries, and also missions. Each of these topics will address the essentials of healthy church life, relevant to churches of every demographic and every age from the starting church to the well-established congregation. And of course, there will still be a regular visitation of other topics ranging from the sublime to the silly.

I appreciate all of you who have given input that has helped me make the decision about the name. If I happen to have gone in the direction other than what you have suggested, please know that I'm not disregarding your opinion. I took everything in to consideration before making the decision.

Lastly, why March 4?

There is no logistical reason. It is merely symbolic and historic. The favorite sermon I have ever preached was on March 4, 2001 (which I'll modify to post on the day of the launch), based upon one of the Scriptures the Lord has used as a touchpoint in my own life. The fact that Two Sents can "march forth" on this date is special to me, and that is reason enough!

Again, mark your calendars, and prepare to adjust your bookmarks and blogrolls, please! Thanks again to all my friends who have supported this blog, who have given tech support, offered wise counsel, and provided great feedback. I thank God for you, and hope you stick around for the next stage in the journey!

venti no whip double blessing latte with a splenda

via email:

THE SPARROW AT STARBUCKS

The song that silenced the cappuccino machine

by John Thomas Oaks

It was chilly in Manhattan but warm inside the Starbucks shop on 51st Street and Broadway, just a skip up from Times Square. Early November weather in New York City holds only the slightest hint of the bitter chill of late December and January, but it's enough to send the masses crowding indoors to vie for available space and warmth.

For a musician, it's the most lucrative Starbucks location in the world, I'm told, and consequently, the tips can be substantial if you play your tunes right. Apparently, we were striking all the right chords that night, because our basket was almost overflowing.

It was a fun, low-pressure gig-I was playing keyboard and singing backup for my friend who also added rhythm with an arsenal of percussion instruments. We mostly did pop songs from the '40s to the '90s with a few original tunes thrown in. During our emotional rendition of the classic, "If You Don't Know Me by Now," I noticed a lady sitting in one of the lounge chairs across from me. She was swaying to the beat and singing along.

After the tune was over, she approached me. "I apologize for singing along on that song. Did it bother you?" she asked.

"No," I replied. "We love it when the audience joins in. Would you like to sing up front on the next selection?"

To my delight, she accepted my invitation.

"You choose," I said. "What are you in the mood to sing?"

"Well. ... do you know any hymns?"

Hymns? This woman didn't know who she was dealing with. I cut my teeth on hymns. Before I was even born, I was going to church. I gave our guest singer a knowing look. "Name one."

"Oh, I don't know. There are so many good ones. You pick one."

"Okay," I replied. "How about 'His Eye is on the Sparrow'?"

My new friend was silent, her eyes averted. Then she fixed her eyes on mine again and said, "Yeah. Let's do that one."

She slowly nodded her head, put down her purse, straightened her jacket and faced the center of the shop. With my two-bar setup, she began to sing.

Why should I be discouraged?
Why should the shadows come?

The audience of coffee drinkers was transfixed. Even the gurgling noises of the cappuccino machine ceased as the employees stopped what they were doing to listen. The song rose to its conclusion.

I sing because I'm happy;
I sing because I'm free.
For His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me.

Holy moment
When the last note was sung, the applause crescendoed to a deafening roar that would have rivaled a sold-out crowd at Carnegie Hall. Embarrassed, the woman tried to shout over the din, "Oh, y'all go back to your coffee! I didn't come in here to do a concert! I just came in here to get somethin' to drink, just like you!"
But the ovation continued. I embraced my new friend. "You, my dear, have made my whole year! That was beautiful!"

"Well, it's funny that you picked that particular hymn," she said.

"Why is that?"

"Well . ..." she hesitated again, "that was my daughter's favorite song."

"Really!" I exclaimed.

"Yes," she said, and then grabbed my hands. By this time, the applause had subsided and it was business as usual. "She was 16. She died of a brain tumor last week."

I said the first thing that found its way through my stunned silence.

"Are you going to be okay?"

She smiled through tear-filled eyes and squeezed my hands. "I'm gonna be okay. I've just got to keep trusting the Lord and singing his songs, and everything's gonna be just fine."

She picked up her bag, gave me her card, and then she was gone.

Was it just a coincidence that we happened to be singing in that particular coffee shop on that particular November night? Coincidence that this wonderful lady just happened to walk into that particular shop? Coincidence that of all the hymns to choose from, I just happened to pick the very hymn that was the favorite of her daughter, who had died just the week before? I refuse to believe it.

God has been arranging encounters in human history since the beginning of time, and it's no stretch for me to imagine that he could reach into a coffee shop in midtown Manhattan and turn an ordinary gig into a revival. It was a great reminder that if we keep trusting him and singing his songs, everything's gonna be okay.


The author's Web site:

you say its your birthday

Happy Birthday Mr. President.

May your likeness one day grace Mount Rushmore.