yesterday was awesome

i hope to blog about it later.

< non sequiter >

i think i've managed to trap a virus of some sort, using my throat as its snare. it may put up a good fight, but in the end, it will die. periodic reports from my mucuous membranes detail engagement with the enemy.

i'll keep you posted.

the world series of

shelf ball!

Brog Blog (and no, he's still not back to blogging) and I were talking about this a day or two ago at work. I have a little nerf hoop and ball that inspired the conversation, but not the actual game.

maybe this is the next step down on a very slippery slope.

a preposition to possibly serve my point by

if you read me with any regularity, you know i try to honor the rules of grammar as much as possible. i strive to never split my infinitives, to never be caught asking, "where are my participles dangling at?", and to make certain that prepositions never at the end of sentences that they are in.

So you can only imagine how much this sentence i just wrote, as well as the one before it, grate on the very essence of my being. as does the last sentence of the previous post. both of these sentences were allowed, nee pursued, for the sake of cleverness.

i'm not sure the sacrifice was worth the result.

and that reminds me...the most irritating single line from a song ever ever ever is found in Live and Let Die, first by Paul McCartney, and later by Guns-N-Roses, in which they wail:

....this ever changing world, in which we live in.....


Oh.
oh no.
i cringe even to write it because when i do, it causes me to hear them singing a grammatically incorrect duet with nonharmonious singing voices. it's horrible on so many levels.

i'm getting too worked up over this.

from the serious to the sublime

well, not so much of the serious, really.

but here's a collection of questions, and answers.

and that's one to grow on.

time to make the donuts

up at 5 am, working on a saturday...wahoo.

if it weren't for being a saturday, i'd be very excited about today. and once we get started, i'll be fine. today is our day of focus-grouping (i don't know if that noun is allowed to dress up like a verb, but we'll just pretend that its okay) a group of men's ministry leaders from local churches around the country. it's going to be interesting to learn from them.

at least i won't have to be wasting time thinking about to whom the buffs are losing today.

sung to the tune of hard to say i'm sorry

admit it. just reading the title makes you break into a Peter "Et" Cetera-ish falsetto. at least if nobody's around.

or maybe it's just me.

recently, a few of us noted jared & tony's argument that sidelined tony for a spell and resulted in their agreement to not be in agreement. Rather than call attention to the discord, i'll instead send it to their reconciliation, where both apologized, requested, and received forgiveness.

this event got me thinking, as i try to do on occasion, about the difference between apologizing and truly being repentant. it seems like 'i'm sorry' has become a very cheap and easy thing to say, yet rarely mean. this is not to imply that neither jared nor tony were genuine, because i believe both are. beyond this little corner of the blogosphere, though, in the cold, creepy world, there seems to be a real lack of true remorseful sentiment giving apologies the 'umph' necessary to be true.

so what does it mean to be sorry? it's not 'feeling bad' about something. i feel bad (and by 'bad' i mean, 'gee, that's too bad,' and not 'i'm a bad boy' bad) for lots of different things, but i'm not really sorry about them:

• i'm sorry you're a jerk


• i'm sorry gray davis lost


• i'm sorry your kitten got squashed by that zamboni

also, 'i'm sorry' passes for an apology when it should instead be understood as a warning of an impending repeat offense. how many times as a child did i say i was sorry for lying, for cheating, for stealing (yeah, i was 'that kid'), and i'd say "i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry" amidst an torrent of tears and snot and choking sobs, only to go and do the exact same thing within the next 24-48 hours. I wasn't sorry for my offense. I was just sorry I had gotten caught!

and there's very little that is more irritating when you're hoping for a genuine apology, but you instead get an insult wrapped up in the topcoat of an apology:

• i'm sorry if you were offended


• i'm sorry if you misunderstood what i was trying to say


• i'm sorry if you were unable to comprehend my true intent because you are too simpleminded

the simple fact of the matter is that "i'm sorry" should never be followed by "if you." that is a conditional phrase that places the impetus of responsibility back upon the offended, rather than the offender, in a feeble (but surprisingly successful) attempt to shift responsibility. when this is done, nothing is accomplished in terms of reconciliation, but it does allow the offender to say something weasly like, "well, i'm sorry if you weren't pleased by my original apology, but i meant 'it' from my cold, bitter, vengeful heart."

the only correct formula for an apology is thus:

personal pronoun ('i' or 'we') + present progressive state of being linking verb ('am' or 'are') + sorry + same personal pronoun ('i' or 'we') + reason for apology.

some people will modify this slightly by replacing the overt agreeing personal pronoun with a prepositional phrase that implies the agreeing personal pronoun, such as "I am so sorry for (implying 'when i') accidentally taping over our wedding with that TBS showing of Tango & Cash.

This rule is mandatory because apologies -- true statements of apologetic sentiment -- can only be uttered (in any media) when they are the outflow of a repentant heart.

so what is repentance?

someone smarter than me once defined it as "a change of mind that results in a change of action." it is so much more than just feeling badly about or for someone or something. it is so much more than just regret. And it's so much more than just being put out that someone was offended by my offensive action.

i am only repentant when i am grieved in my spirit that my offense has damaged another, and the realization of it compels me to change my actions.

so by this litmus test, are tony and jared simply "sorry" or are they truly repentant. well, i think and hope the latter is the case. time will be the real evidence. how they treat others with whom they disagree will reveal the matter.

one of the best cases of true repentance that i've seen lately can be seen here. changed heart. changed mind. changed action.

'being sorry' you offended God doesn't make you a follower of the Christ. "Feeling badly" you violated His holiness isn't sufficient either. Being greived in your spirit that you have failed miserably to glorify God is the first step, but not the sum total. Changing your action so that you -- by faith -- allow Him to glorify Himself through you is true repentance. Abandoning your idols because you want to and get to, but not because you have to...that's true repentance. Exchanging all the fleeting, faulty, filthy things for eternal, glorious things...that's repentance.

Changed minds. changed actions.

repentance.

and if i've offended you...i'm so sorry.

update for praying friends

chuck anderson has been stabilized.

thanks

a consumer, reporting

this product



doesn't work.

they're so ashamed of themselves for taking money for this product that they won't even supply a decent picture of it.

a genius is never appreciated in his own generation

from time to time, i'll ask my wife if she's read a blog entry that i thought was one of my better efforts. usually, i'll ask if it is something spiritual, where i'm hoping it will have evoked a new insight that has developed her thinking and drawn her closer to the Lord. i'll ask her also if it is something that i thought was particularly funny. in this instance, her correct response would be something like:

oh, of course i read it! I laughed so hard milk came out my nose and i wasn't even drinking any. I found myself laughing long after i left the computer. In fact, it was so funny, i might have wet my britches, just a little bit. but it was so funny, i didn't mind! bryan, you are the mayor of funnytown! funny, funny, funny, mr. funny funnybrain!

i recognize that my query is not genuine, as much as she does. we both know we're after a shallow-but-gratuitous ego-stroking. we both understand it is cheap, tawdry, and shameful. that's what makes it so special. so you can only imagine my emotional response when i recently asked her if she had read my daily stab at hilarity.

me: did you read my post today?
kelli: you mean the one on?
me: yeah, that's the one (she can almost see my tail wagging by now, in expectation of the bone she's about to toss my way).
kelli: mmhmm.
...
...
...
me: okaaaaay...


death is easy, comedy is hard.
--sir thomas wolfit, on his deathbed

someone has too much time on their hands

this guy illustrates how much money is $87 billion.

his attempt, i'm assuming, is to visually overwhelm you to get you agree that we shouldn't spend that money stabilizing iraq.

its a shame that his argument is ad hominem.

good visual, though. it makes me appreciate just how much help we really are giving.

way to go, President Bush!

not an ljer, but fairly accurate nonetheless

This is a live journal quiz. Not being an ljer and not knowing any ljers except for sean, i had to make all the blogspot equivalents....but here you go...

The Blog* Obsession Test
Category	Your Score	Average LJer
Community Attachment	18.28% You've got pals to cheer you up when you're down, but no audience to applaud you... Yet.	22.91%
MemeSheepage	36.84% Easily amused	28.87%
Original Content	64.52% Newsweek, People, and your journal	38.88%
Psychodrama Quotient	4.82% Warning: Can Flame When Necessary	17.17%
Attention Whoring	25% You do a little dance whenever someone blogrolls* you	20.79%
Take The Ultimate LiveJournal Obsession Test and see how you match up!

make your own trashy gossip mag

dig the dirt.

this is a boingboing link.

florida beef sale

22 preggers cows are dead in the sunshine state, which is also ironically known as the lightning capitol of the US, when the clouds rolled in and the sky lighted up with sparkly violence. a jolt connected with the tree under which the cows were congregating, attempting to stay dry.

looks like mother nature agrees...

beef, its what's for dinner.

plans...in the focus

tomorrow will be a very cool day. we are bringing in Kenny Luck from everyman ministries to serve as a consultant for our redesign. he'll spend the day with us looking at our stuff, and letting us glean from his experience. it means i'll be blogging not, but learning much.

i'm off to la casa, and i better make a break for it, while the rain seems to have paused for a moment.

animal denominations

oh sure, everyone knows about a pack of lions, a herd of elephants, and a gaggle of geese...

but what about rhinos, woodpeckers, and toads?

well, now you know.

and a few newly discovered:

liberals

• (at convention) a squawk
A squawk of democrats will select a candidate to lose to George Bush in 2004.

• (at an election) a conspiracy
A conspiracy of democrats continue to cry for a recount of the Florida 2000 election tally.

• (at the sight of bill clinton) an intern
An intern of democrats gave former president Clinton a standing ovation during a church speech recently...

• (at the sight of hillary clinton) a lunacy
a lunacy of women showed up to buy autographed copies of Hillary's book...

• (at an election defeat) a spin -or- a recount -or- a disenfranchisement
A spin of democrats tried to explain Davis's defeat as a victory for their party.

• (at war) an appeasement
An appeasement of candidates attempted to explain how the U.S. never should have gone to remove Saddam Hussein from power.

conservatives

• (generic term) a rush
A rush of conservatives gathered to recall Gray Davis.

• (at election) a vision
A vision of conservatives won back majority control in both the Senate and the House.

• (at war) a mandate
The mandate of senators toured Iraq, taking note of the soldiers' progress in stabilizing the country.

• (at the sight of george bush) a W-04
The W-04 of Texans greeted President Bush warmly as he returned to Crawford.

• (at an election victory) a gloat
The gloat of republicans won more than 60% of the California popular vote.

atheists

• (generic) a pointless
A pointless of atheists gathered to discuss evolution...

• (after death) an enlightenment
A enlightenment of atheists died when a van they chartered for a field trip to Epcot was unexplainedly picked up and demolished by a tornado on a clear day.

christians

• (who follow a televangelist snake) a hinn
hinn of believers gave the televangelist $10 million in love offerings...

• (who enjoy the church "game") a committee
A committee of christians voted to have a meeting to vote if they should vote to start talking about starting a food ministry.

• (holier-than-thou) a pharisee
A pharisee of christians condemned parents who allow their children to watch Veggie Tales, on the assertion that talking vegetables are "of the devil."

• (joyless) a saducee
A saducee of members from Glum Valley Church missed the baptism of new believers in order to lament the enrollment of church member's children into the public school system.

• (after death) a reconciliation -or- a fulfillment -or- a glorification
A glorification of christians died when a van they chartered for a field trip to Epcot was unexpectedly picked up and demolished by a tornado on a clear day.

aptly stated

this very well-written opinion on the judicial state of affairs is by randy singer, executive VP at NAMB, gifted author, noted 1st Amendment expert, and an all-around good guy:

ANIMAL FARM – THE SEQUEL
Randy Singer


George Orwell’s classic 1956 novel, Animal Farm, is a vivid allegory about the failed Russian communist revolution. The good and common people of Russia – the proletariat -- were depicted as overworked, mistreated farm animals suffering under ruthless human owners. The animals finally revolted – throwing off the yoke of human bondage through the leadership of the pigs and the bravery of animals like a horse named Boxer. But the newly empowered pigs eventually started behaving worse than the humans. They moved into the farmhouse, slaughtered the heroes of the revolution, and the living conditions of the other animals deteriorated.

At the end of the book, the bewildered and oppressed barnyard animals sneak a peek inside the windows of the farmhouse as the pigs negotiate over a card game with some humans from a neighboring farm. An argument ensues and angry shouting erupts around the table. The creatures outside “looked from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”

Orwell’s point: the Russians had simply traded one set of dictators for another. From the Czars to Stalin, not much had changed.

What’s that got to do with America in 2003?

Nothing…and everything.

The American Revolution was not the result of some abstract desire to tinker around with a new form of government. We revolted against a tyrant – King George III, and against the tyranny he represented. At its core, our Declaration of Independence was nothing more than a list of grievances against this man and all he represented. Taxation without representation. Boarding British troops in American homes. Inciting domestic insurrections. You get the idea.

The farm animals revolted.

We set up a new form of government with three separate branches. Limited power was guaranteed by a series of checks and balances. No single branch could become too strong. There would never be another George III.

But, while everyone kept a suspicious eye on the executive branch, lest our Presidents become too much like the monarchs we had rejected, a funny thing happened in the judicial branch.

The first shoe dropped in the 1803 case of Marbury v. Madison, during the tenure of Chief Justice John Marshall. In that case, Marshall declared it was the role of the judicial branch to determine whether laws passed by Congress were in fact constitutional. If not, they would be struck down by the courts – the guardians of the Constitution.

The doctrine of judicial review was born. To me, this makes sense. After all, Marshall is a fellow alum of the nation’s oldest law school (hint – not Harvard, think farther south). And this doctrine keeps Congress in check, so that the wishes of the majority don’t trample the rights of the minority.

But a decade and a half later, a second shoe dropped. The infamous Warren court (1954 - 1969) started interpreting the Constitution in light of the times, not in light of the intent of the Founding Fathers who drafted it. The Constitution became whatever five judges on the Supreme Court wanted it to be. If they didn’t like a law, they just struck it down as unconstitutional. If they needed a new right, they simply invented one and tacked it onto the ever-changing Constitution.

This mindset carried through to the case of Roe v. Wade. The Justices couldn’t find a right to abortion in the Constitution itself, so they gazed mystically at the “penumbra” (their word, not mine) of the Constitution and found it there. What the heck’s a penumbra? Good question. A penumbra is that hazy spot around the circumference of the sun. It’s not the bright light from the sun itself, but the extension of that light into the atmosphere right next to it, so that it’s hard to tell where the outline of the sun stops and the atmosphere begins.

In other words, a penumbra is whatever you want it to be.

Unelected federal court judges, with lifetime appointments, (and imperial long, black robes), now have the power to interpret laws, and to make them up as well.

This was never demonstrated more clearly than in the recent Ten Commandments case, when an unelected federal court judge told an elected state court judge how to decorate his courtroom. It was an opinion out of touch with both the intent of our founding fathers and over 77% of the American people (according to the latest Gallup Poll).

Oink! Oink!

So, you are probably wondering, what’s a poor barnyard animal like me supposed to do? How do we restore a proper balance of power?

For starters, we can lobby for judges who understand the concept of judicial restraint and will follow the original intent of our founding documents. There are plenty of them now serving, and plenty more who are well qualified to serve. Judges who are content to follow the law and mete out justice evenly, regardless of their own personal views. Potential judges who fit that description are being filibustered even now by a strident minority of our Senators.

Check out your own Senator and Representative. Did your Senator vote for closure to end the unprecedented 28-month filibuster against Miguel Estrada, a Bush nominee who recently withdrew his nomination? And how did your Representative vote on the House resolution to suspend funding of any attempts to enforce the judicial decree against Judge Moore? (That’s right – the House actually passed such a resolution by a margin of 260 to 161.) It was perhaps the first symbolic blow by a branch of Congress trying to restore a balance of power.

Like the barnyard animals in the book, many Christians today feel like they are on the outside looking in, wondering what happened to the ideals of our founding fathers. A secular society nears completion, as religious symbols are banned from the public square and people of faith are encouraged to keep their religion “to themselves.” Outspoken Christians are labeled as zealots, and made to feel like second-class citizens.

“All men are created equal,” wrote Jefferson. “And endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights…”

The animals in Orwell’s book used similar slogans in their revolt. But they allowed those slogans to be interpreted in light of ever-changing times. By the end of the book, the “seven commandments” they first hung on the barn wall had been taken down, and replaced by one commandment that better described their situation…And ours?

“All animals are equal,” it read. “But some animals are more equal than others.”

and in this spirit of honoring the democratic republic:

TO: Friend of WORLD Magazine
DATE: October 7, 2003
RE: Federal Marriage Amendment

Never in the 17-year history of World magazine have we presumed on our readers and friends with a specific call to political action. Only in the rarest of circumstances do we envision doing it again.
But the urgency of the growing challenge to the institution of marriage calls for rare action.
We are among those who believe that only by the passage of a Federal Marriage Amendment can we slow down the activist liberals who populate the federal judiciary. Twenty-five conservative and Christian organizations are throwing their weight behind such an amendment, and we urge you to join them. We were encouraged last week when the White House formally designated October 12-18 as “Marriage Protection Week”—and that helps our momentum.
Specifically, we’re asking you to make it a point before October 18 to call your own Congressman and both your U.S. Senators to register your strong support for this amendment. They need to know this is no marginal issue. They need to know their own job security is wrapped up in this all-important issue of marriage.
If you don’t know what phone numbers to call, go here on the web, enter your zip code, and you’ll find the appropriate details.
Please hear our request with urgency. This is not a “business as usual” item, but one that calls for your committed attention. Thanks very much.

JOEL BELZ MARVIN OLASKY
Publisher Editor-in-Chief

note: this info was forwarded to me by mark, the colorado baptist exec, and i am responsible for changing the world web address into a link.

an urgent prayer request

chuck anderson, our national missionary for mission education at NAMB, has been hospitalized with a heart attack. his wife's name is cathy.

thanks.

tokyoriffic

japander.com serves as a compendium for u.s. celebs pitching japanese products.

well at least they have their dignity.

oh...

wait...

nevermind.

mcclintock not giving up yet

with results that show arnold garning a whopping 3.6 million votes, tom mcclintock has appealed to the movie star to abandon his bid for the office of governor.

"with the support of the people behind one republican candidate," mcclintock said, "i'm convinced we will not only win, but win with a majority of voters -- which Gray Davis himself was unable to accomplish during the regular election."

aah, i love to revel in the aftermath of the unrealized fearmongering that the race would be sooooo close that the republican vote would be split. not only was it not split, but tomtom beat his drum loudly enough to garner enough support that if ahnold doesn't do enough to please conservative republicans, they already have a candidate to succeed him (double entrendre intended). the winner received his mandate, along with the subtle reminder of his party's conservative identity.

for that worker who's on the go

the brief relief system.

what cracks me up (NPI) is that they offer training on how to use it. with videos.


link by ultimate insult.

when a family comes to faith

view this testimony.

this was produced by NAMB. Go here for more online resources, including a great "man on the street" on why people don't go to church.

letterman

trommeter supplies dave's top 10 possible california headlines.

8 & 3 were the best, imho.

why i'm no longer catholic, reason 64

former denver archbishop of the roman catholic church James Stafford, has been named major penitentiary for the Vatican.

he's now the pointy-hat in charge of indulgences.

well isn't that great....the guy who confirmed me as an "spiritual adult in the eyes of the church" despite my having cheated on the qualification test and having stolen a big bottle of communion wine from the Steamboat Springs church during my confirmation retreat (aka -- 'reform catechism for truants') is now in charge of taking bribes to minimize my time in purgatory. just my luck.

i am so grateful that these two transgressions, along with all others past, present, and yet to come have been forgiven and paid for by the sacrificial atonement of my Savior the Christ, Jesus of Nazareth.

humor from when 'hacker' had yet to mean 'thirteen-year-old computer virus designer with too much time on his hands'

from mikey's funnies (C&P of course):

The hacker hit the ball into the rough and landed on an anthill.

He tried three times to hit the ball and each time he missed the ball and hit the anthill. Ants went flying all over the place.

One ant turned to the other ant and said, "If we are going to survive, we had better get on the ball."
The hacker hit the ball into the rough and landed on an anthill.

He tried three times to hit the ball and each time he missed the ball and hit the anthill. Ants went flying all over the place.

One ant turned to the other ant and said, "If we are going to survive, we had better get on the ball."

added to the blogroll

kdeweb.

i go there often enough, i might as well make it easy on myself.

and you should, too. i've made it easy for you.

i'm an oppressed minority, but at least i'm here

apparently, when it comes to the blogosphere, i'm a very small demographically-represented population.

and while the e-journ-iverse keeps growing, it seems to have many many many tracts of empty addresses. it seems like all those teeny bopper girlie-grrls don't have the attention span fortitude to write for the long haul. i know they're out there, but i can't think of a single one i've across which i've stumbled that has compelled me to add it to my blogroll, much less return. methinks there's only so much depths of the n*sync/backstreet boys depths that can be plumbed (and yes, i recognize how completely out-of-touch i present myself with this dated reference...don't worry, i'll live). so, these blossoming "writers" quickly tire of the work of creating something interesting, and leave behind their pink and yellow web pages emblazoned with flowers and smiley faces and "avril rocks" buttons for the latest sale going on at the limited, too! (note: i just took a stab at this mall staple, and if you click on the link, i think you'll agree i couldn't have found a more perfect representative of the teenage webgirl mentality. in fact, just looking at it gave me a blinding migraine that was only offset by the consumption of two avril.)

and, if i hop ship as soon as i'd like, i'll be adding my blogspot addy to the tally of abandoned urls. the only difference is, i'll still be around.

this is just sad

i don't visit blog ideas very often. in fact, today was the first time since i linked to it. and i went today out of curiosity, not for a lack of writing stimuli.

and this was it's recommended topic:

Cats say the darndest things

this topic is so bad, i could only be inspired to come up with possibilities for worse topics, and this proved to be a tremendous challenge. this is all i could muster:

1. gray davis's victory speech was brilliant because...


2. my favorite cher song is...


3. the best color of drying paint to watch is...


4. the most original liberal idea to come out in the last decade is...

what else have you got?

are you willing to make a....donkey...of yourself?

emailed from one of my writers (don't know if he's the original source or not):

The next time you feel like God can't use you, just remember
... NOAH was a drunk
... ABRAHAM was too old
... ISAAC was a daydreamer
....JACOB was a liar
... LEAH was ugly
... JOSEPH was abused
... MOSES had a stuttering problem
... GIDEON was afraid
... SAMSON had long hair, and was a womanizer!
... RAHAB was a prostitute!
... JEREMIAH and TIMOTHY were too young
... DAVID had an affair and was a murderer
... ELIJAH was suicidal
... ISAIAH preached naked
... JONAH ran from God
... NAOMI was a widow
... BAALAM'S ASS was a donkey, for cryin' out loud
... JOB went bankrupt
... JOHN the Baptist ate bugs
... PETER denied Christ
... The Disciples fell asleep while praying
... MARTHA worried about everything
... MARY MAGDALENE was, well, you know
... The SAMARITAN WOMAN was divorced....more than once!!
... The GEDARENE was a former demoniac
... ZACCHEUS was too small
... PAUL was too religious
... TIMOTHY had an ulcer
... AND LAZARUS WAS DEAD!!!!
...no more excuses now. God's waiting to use your full potential. Besides, you aren't the message, you are the messenger.

Whatever your past may have been - God can do great things with your future!

"greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world." - 1 John 4:4

what is it they say about tuggin' on superman's cape?

oh yeah, that's right....it's not a good idea.

tony was down...for a moment.

but he's back up, ready to continue the good fight.

i wasn't party to the scrum, but i read both sides regularly, so i hope the matter is resolved in way that honors the Christ.

i like this better... i think

ESTJ - "Administrator". Much in touch with the external environment. Very responsible. Pillar of strength. 13% of the total population.

Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test
Extroverted (E) 81.25% Introverted (I) 18.75%
Sensing (S) 56.82% Intuitive (N) 43.18%
Thinking (T) 69.44% Feeling (F) 30.56%
Judging (J) 55.77% Perceiving (P) 44.23%

Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test

i hadn't had a myers briggs in years and i couldn't remember my four letters, much less what those four letters represented.

this is from the same site, with a modified enneagram result, which is:

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

< defensive > and i'm only getting about 5 hours of sleep a night, thank you very much < /defensive >

umm...okay.

this is the result of my enneagram test.

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

i don't really understand it, and i'm pretty sure i disagree vehemently with it....but the support material on the page from which this comes is quite exhaustive and i'll have to make time later to read it and decipher it.

gray skies are gonna clear up....

ahnold won.

gray said agrees.

welcome to delta delta delta...can i help ya help ya help ya?

why do sorority girls get a bad reputation?

here's why.

don't worry...do you really think i'd offer an unsafe link?

taking it to the next level

3D minesweeper.

i finished beginner in 111.

i'm much better on the flat board.

you better bring your 'a' game, chump

promotional video for the rock paper scissors championship.

in our home, kaylyn tends to beat cotter on a regular basis.

this is because cotter tends to go with 'rock' on a pretty regular basis.

like every. single. time.

yet, he's mystified how his older sister has managed to crack his code.

election day...8 a.m. pst

gray davis estimates the number of people voting 'no' in today's recall election.

alternate
gray davis impersonates ahnold on the movie set.

a quick update on the kids

tonight, kaylyn is one of a couple hundred first graders singing at the pta meeting. i don't* want to brag, but...

...she's got a solo**.

last night, cotter once again asked me if i thought it was time he got his own razor so he wouldn't have to go outside with a mustache and a beard. i told him i'd speak with his mother about it and get back to him on it.

and kelsi's vocabulary has recently exploded with these recent additions:

bu-bee = cotter

caca = cotter

cane = kaylyn

momma = kaylyn

mommy = mommy

dada = daddy

DADA = father, i've climbed up kaylyn's bunk bed ladder and i require assistance getting down.

mm-mm = thank you

no = yes

NO = no

AAAAAAAAAH = didn't you hear me cotter? I said "NO!"

peas = please

mote = here's the remote control, daddy.

woowoo = dog

mow (as in "ow!") = cat

(pointing to the kitchen) = i'd like some juice please, mommy.

(patting crotch) = i've just soiled myself and would appreciate being changed, please.

(puckered lips) = i'd like to cover your face with kisses, if i may.

(ejecting food from mouth with tongue) = my appetite is satiated and i'd like to be excused from the table.

nuh-nooh = have i told you recently that i love you? well, i love you.



*omit
**solo is actually a speaking part.

still grieving

my feelings over the bronco loss are best expressed by the words of the philosopher melissa manchester who once said:

Don't cry out loud
Just keep it inside, learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high and proud
And if you should fall, remember you almost had it all

the news in photos

figuring his chances are about as good as in the election, davis asks ahnold if they can settle this thing by an arm-wrestling match.



democrat ted kennedy accuses ahnold of trying to steal the breath of life of his neice maria for his own political gain, leading embattled gray davis to invite her to join the ranks of women "groped" by the republican candidate.



one more woman came forward to say ahnold attempted to grope her back in 1974, despite being separated by a partial wall and requiring him to answer silly questions like, "if i were an ice cream sundae and you were the topping, what flavors would each of us be?"

what's black and white and red all over?

an embarrassed gray davis losing the recall election.

rimshot please?

don't forget to tip your waitress.

on a serious note, isn't what davis is doing now to this handful of ahnold-accusing women (pun? intended!) metaphorically the same thing, by treating them cheaply for his own advantage?

i doubt he'll offer an apology.

a resounding defeat will have to do.

thanks to tony for the link.

finally, a game to which i can relate

internet tennis

news from the home front

a fatal fire in my home town. things look suspicious, and the victim's identity is unknown.

there's a reason this is a "gap" commercial

here's the clip of the recent commercial featuring the dude over-wearing his gap britches. i post it because i know jen was recently gaga over it, and kimberly is similarly loopy. in fact, she's the original owner of this link.

and while i may be guilty of pandering to the basic instincts of the females in the audience (and i'd just like to politely remind everyone out there of a little transgression that rhymes with 'lust,'), i want to express my disgust over this commercial.

it's not the shirtless thing...good for him for having a fit body.

its the fact that he's wearing the same pants for days upon days upon days.

and even more than that, it is the implied message that has only one of two options.

1) he's wearing the same pair of underwear for days upon days upon days. and its not like you see him showering at all. Everybody --everybody -- smells justalittlebit stale after a night of sleep. Sleepstale sticks on fabric. Sleepstale doesn't add to itself. it doesn't multiply. it grows exponentially. This guy would have to smell like the semifinalist on Survivor SealyPosturepedic after mildew season. i don't care how hunky he is, he'd reek, and he'd have stale underwear.

or

2) he's got no underwear on at all, which means there's nothing that gets between him and his calvin klein's ifyaknowwhatimean. in which case, the ick factor has exponentially risen by a factor of 10.

yet...women still have tongues wagging when they watch this.

maybe its a pheremone thing.

all i know is, i miss a shower for one day and there's a unanimous vote to boot me off the proverbial island. and i'm casting a ballot, too.

diagnosis: spamments

i recently received a spamment, which led to celiac chick's banning from being able to comment in the future. she follows the dude who was also banned because he attempted to pimp his blog template enterprise.

she found me because i once quote a MISDIAGNOSIS of my son for celiac disease. we have since (no thanks to the medical professionals) come to the opinion that he has encromesis, but is doing wonderfully well working through it. if you are family and want to know, email me and i'll tell you about it (or just call us). otherwise, just please remember my son in your prayers. cotter is a healthy, happy, and always entertaining little boy with a very curable problem. but he, like i, has a severe allergy and even stronger aversion to spam.

sung to the tune of i wanna know...what you're thinking

how do you feel about this?

this site will send letters to your "left behind" loved ones, when the Lord raptures His Bride, the church.

So what do you think about this letter?

again, this is one person's sincere ministry, and who am I to criticize him?

I guess my opinion is, if you are caught up and your loved ones are not, what harm will it do? it will certainly not be the worst thing they'll be facing in the days to come.

I'd like to thank all the little people

but really, i'm honored for the title bestowed upon me by my undercover brother, Tony (check the left column).

this thing really has taken on a whole life of its own.

i will strive to bring honor and dignity to the office. all while being undercover.

you know that scene in the mummy

you know, where the scarab beetles are scurrying under the skin of the dude upon whom they are chowing? and you can see them as bulbous quickly-moving entities under his skin?

well, i have a similarly-underlying sentiment that is proportionately irritating to me, and potentially as dangerous, i suppose.

and no, this isn't a residual nightmare from the scorpion encounter....

i'm a happy person. i have much joy in the Lord. i'm very thankful for the blessings and challenges bestowed upon me daily. i'm humbled and honored that the Lord would give me stewardship over my work responsibilities, my family, and my very life.

even so...

...i seem to be struggling with...well, with something that seems to be as difficult to pin down as those previously mentioned scarab beetles being chased by a needle-wielding entymologist hopped up on pain pills (oops, sorry...i'm mixing my metaphors, or at least letting them be influenced by real life. wait, maybe i can still use it if i just say it's a "ripped from the headlines" metaphor...again, i digress).

the closest word to describe my unrest is 'contentment' but that's not it. i'm very content. but at the same time, unsettled. maybe it's because of all the transition of late. maybe it's because the buffs stink and the broncos just lost a game they should have won. maybe its because i'm at war with my flesh and my thoughts need a renewing.

there is *one* variable in my life that i can think of (but am not brave enough to mention, or dumb enough...time will tell which is the case -- but don't fret, my wife knows of what i mention). and to be honest, it has to do with coveting something. and i *really* want the Lord to just take away that which i covet, because it is only my flesh that is fooling me to believe that it is even a carrot dangling from a rope just out of my reach. if the Lord would take that which i want and give it to someone else, it would be over and done with (apart from maybe a short time of grieving) and i could resume my otherwise wonderful life. and to compound the matter, i'm getting very good at spiritualizing my want. who knows, maybe it i do want it for the right reasons...

...you see, there i go again.

i will not comment on this matter further. nor will i furthermore blog about it. but now that i'm finished being circumspect about it, i'd gladly appreciate your prayers over it.

sung to the tune of feelings

in case you didn't know this about me....

You represent... kindness.
You're a very gentle, kind, and caring individual.
You truely care about people and are generally
well-liked. Though sometimes you may be
perceived as weak, you truely have a strong
heart and a good desire to help others.


What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

this quiz was found at rachel's. i deleted the anime image. there was nothing wrong with it. i just thought it would add to the misrepresentation that i'm weak.

and on a slightly less infuriating note

i hate it when i buy a large quantity of something, only to find out it was the wrong type, or of poor quality.

case-in-point #1. I purchased a 10-pound bag of russett potatoes. i came home to discover that i should have purchased idaho potatoes. i was confused and made tharn by my lovely bride's statement, "you know, when comparing russett potatoes and idaho potatoes, i find that the former to be a superior product to the latter, even though both products seem to originate from idaho, which leads me to agree with tim russert's endorsement of idaho potatoes, even though the russett potatoes are closer to his name and he himself is not from idaho at all." knowing that i picked the wrong spud has led me for the first time in my life to view ten pounds as the largest quantity of food i'll be forced to consume over an extended period of time. with each bite in the weeks to come, i'll only be longing for the right type instead of the inferior product i'll be forced to choke down, trying to mix in vegetables and condiments in a feeble attempt to hide its flavorless insufficiencies.

can you tell which is which?


this site says they are one and the same. this site is a liar.

case-in-point #2: i purchased a five pound bag of tangerines. I was extremely excited (well, maybe not extremely) to come home and peel open one of these sweet orbs of juicy goodness. when i was able to at long last satiate my hunger for specialty citrus, i discovered the produce product to be stringy, seedy, and altogether tart. i ended up using my mouth like a juicer -- taking in a wedge, mashing it up to extract any small vestige of benefit from it, and spitting out the useless byproduct byproduce onto a napkin. no doubt, this was one of those moments where kelli was particularly proud of the prize she had won in the pick-a-husband contest. you could see it on her face. my discontent was offset only slightly by my ability to have not been duped into buying a second five-pound bag, despite the "twofer" deal they were offering.

.

this site tells of the weaknesses of hybridized fruit. yeah, thanks. this info is really helpful for something i did irrevocably two days ago (i use the term 'irrevocably,' because i found out Kroger has a silly policy to not refund produce once it has been peeled and partially consumed -- looks like kelli won another little wager).

and this, dear friends, is why i shop only on rare occasions. i am a danger to myself and others when allowed to make food decisions for the family.

sung to the tune of heading for a showdown

charles pickering has passed the first test, and has punched his ticket to an inevitable messy judicial stall tactic by the dems.

you know what upsets me? i'll tell you what upsets me:

Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-MA), a leading Pickering critic, said, "It's hard to believe the president would rather pick this fight than pick a decent judge."

i'm very angry at conservative legislators who up to this point have been too lazy to force the liberals into pursuing a true filibuster, and allowed the process to draw on so long with miguel estrada that the fine nominee ended up abandoning the cause because he was the only one who was inconvenienced through it all. if that's all the passion conservatives can muster, it's no wonder "senators" like Kennedy have the chutzpah to mock the president for even nominating a pro-life judicial candidate.

if we are really going to be passionate about protecting the lives of the unborn, then our elected leaders need to keep the pressure on the minority to run themselves into the ground trying to hold hostage the majority. unless we do that, the minority will continue to set the tone and circumvent and obstruct the democratic process.

sung to the tune of you needed me

resurrection song is making sure i don't cry alone.

it's always nice to see other fans with an optimistic attitude.

nathan, a chief's fan gave a very detailed assessment of his team's victory. i've never been that bad. he does say something that cracks me up in a what-i-really-mean-is-that-it-annoys-me-sort-of-way: he's talking about clinton portis and says something like, "if you take out that one long run (65 yards, i think), he only had 80 yards on 25 carries," which he goes on to state isn't very good.

you see, that's the funny thing about football...all the statistics count. you don't get to "take any of them out." i mean, if you took out only 8 plays of the broncos' superbowl game against the 49ers, they win a shut out victory 10-0, instead of getting trounced 55-10. i understand what he's saying; that one play can skew the statistics earned by an otherwise strong day, but you just can't do it. i'm sure denver would like to say they contained donte hall pretty well, if you'd just take out that one play where he returned a punt 93 yards for a game-winning touchdown.

like i said before, there's only one stat that matters. kc is one up on denver. they'll meet one more time in denver, and likely one more time in the postseason....won't that be interesting?!?

be it resolved

whereas i followed an intriguing link regarding the former advocacy of abortion by the southern baptist convention corporate resolutions and was compelled to write about it

and

whereas eric read my comments and was compelled to research the matter further and report on it

and

whereas eric's work was more thorough and interesting

and

whereas eric and jared share interesting comments that will likely compel me to write on sbc matters such as the cooperative program and the conservative resurgence when i am able to give each of those topics the time and attention each deserves

therefore

be it resolved to read eric's entry and comment at his site, so when i eventually do what i say i'll do, i'll know how more of you feel about it, so i can know if i'll be angering, placating, informing, comforting, or confusing you.

more web powers being used for good instead of evil

monkey lander.

linked through the boing boing grapevine.

rss reader swap

i just spent the last half hour swapping all my rss feeds from blog express to rss reader. why? because i can read the full story behind the headline all in one window, rather than in two (or more).

the following entry is entirely for me

every once in a while, a team can win every important battle and still not come out the victor.

that was indeed the case today with the broncos and the chiefs.

unfortunately, the only standard that matters is the one in which the victor is recorded.

crud.

experts agree, state of the art technology explains telltale explanation

via presurfer, a fair and balanced tracking of the media's use of cliches, as tracked by google.

a little help here

before worship started today, kelli and i had a discussion. what is the conclusive answer?

what is the plural for Kleenex^®

1. Kleenex


2. Kleenexes


3. Kleenices


4. Tissue


5. Other?

this rocked my world on a sunday morning

news that the southern baptist convention once approved corporately of roe v. wade.

and how, this summer, we corporately repented of that sin.

this smack in the face comes also from thinklings. thanks. that was more effective than two cups of coffee used to chase a triple shot of liquid Vivarin.

and it illustrates (at least) two important matters:

• while all human battles, especially those of a religious nature, tend to be messy, the southern baptist civil war that resulted in the conservative resurgence was an essential turning point in the history of our convention.


• it is of paramount importance that any church that calls affiliates with the sbc sends messengers to the annual convention every year if possible.

i've been to three conventions -- once as a reporter, once as an observer, and once as a pastor. i'll be attending next year's in my capacity with NAMB, but hopefully also as a messenger for my local church. it's not always the most exciting event in the world, but definitely is a worthwhile experience where you get a sense of fellowship that is much larger than your local church, and a bit of insight of what God can and does accomplish through 16 million Christ-followers working together (through the cooperative program) for the sake of the Kingdom.

an attempt to reestablish credibility

on the heels of my shameful behavior during the the princess bride quiz, i give you the results from the seinfeld quiz:


Your personality type is: Head Honcho
How sure are we: BARELY

You've made it to the top. You're finally king/queen of the castle, and you rule without mercy or hesitation. How's it feel to be the "master of your domain"? Just be sure to toss a bone to your less successful friends once in a while, you overly-ambitious control freak. Oh, and let us know when you're hiring, sir.

i assure you, i didn't fake this one. if you just take the test yourself, you'll see that it would be very difficult to manipulate. and speaking of past offenses, i just want to say that i may have done some foolish things in my youth (well, yesterday), and I have since learned that those actions were hurtful and wrong. if i have offended any of you through my misbehavior, i apologize.

(link via thinklings).

eeeek

every once in a while, something happens where, instead of my normal heroic mighty-mouse-esque-'here-i-am-to-save-the-day'-response, i instead scream like like a little girl and run.

last night was just such a night.

kelli and i were down here working on the computer, when kelli stopped in mid-sentence and said, "what. is. that?" and this was one of those rare times when 'that' was a four-syllable word wherein the 'a' was a thrice-tonally-inflected dipthong. this, of course, turned my head, so I could see 'that.'

'that' was this:



which made me say this.

once kelli slapped me and told me to be a man, i recovered my composure and went to fulfill my job description:

184.c.4: other jobs as determined, including:

a. killer of undesirable invaders compromising domestic calm: as male of the house, you will upon sight, extinguish the life of any arthropod, insect, rodent, or solicitor whose presence endangers the physical health, safety, or peace of mind of wife and/or children.

sooooo....i tiptoed over to the laundry pantry and i picked up this:



and released its full-on aerosol-packed vengeance upon the frightening creature.

it immediately dropped to the floor.

and disappeared.

which caused me to say this.

with a child's thick-soled shoe in each hand, i hunted around for 10 minutes, looking for a coughing, irate scorpion, but to no avail.

i am convinced he scurried off in a bug-poison-induced haze, intent on rallying his pals, his progeny, or both to return so they could fight a fair battle.

we eventually gave up and went upstairs so we could go to bed.

so what do you think i dreamed about last night?

that's right:



so guess who i'm calling, first thing tomorrow....

that's right:



and if he isn't available, then i'm contacting this guy:



and if he isn't available, i'm going to find this guy:



and, if all this fails, i'll find this guy to do take care of bidness:



until then, i'll do this.