1/04/2003
1/03/2003
1/02/2003
'scuse me while I kiss this guy
found while doing Bible study -- misheard lyrics
my favorites:
the beatles -- alternate takes on many of their classic hits
def leppard -- pour some sugar on me errata
michael jackson -- the various 'beat it' oopsies, but especially, 'no one wants a beef fajita' instead of 'no one wants to be defeated.'
my favorites:
the beatles -- alternate takes on many of their classic hits
def leppard -- pour some sugar on me errata
michael jackson -- the various 'beat it' oopsies, but especially, 'no one wants a beef fajita' instead of 'no one wants to be defeated.'
a funny entertainer
Heywood Banks, creator of such hits:
toast!
Inches, Feet, Miles
Excuse me, Your Forehead's on Fire
18 wheels on a big rig
9-1-1
Dust Mites
Fishin' Worms
Flies Eyes
The Day the Cartoon Animals Reverted to their Natural State
If you know what I mean
If I had a Bulldozer
The cat got dead
You can be mean to me
Subscribers who got this post in their email accidently received a line that said "listen to his music here" but that site wanted $55 to check him out. You can find him for free elsewhere, and then buy his cds at the comedy store website linked to above.
reason why I love my wife #124322
Though this is the first post in this line, I started the numbering at 124322 because I figure there is at least that many reasons that have gone unpublished. But without further ado, reason 124322:
she rated my blog today, raising my average from 7.3 to 8.0
our conversation.
K: I rated your blog today.
B: Really? Cool. What did you rate it?
K: What? What do you think I rated it?
B: Well, maybe you thought I need to make some improvements.
K: Yeah, I gave it a 2...because I like everything except the 'boy humor.'
B: I've got to work on that.
she rated my blog today, raising my average from 7.3 to 8.0
our conversation.
K: I rated your blog today.
B: Really? Cool. What did you rate it?
K: What? What do you think I rated it?
B: Well, maybe you thought I need to make some improvements.
K: Yeah, I gave it a 2...because I like everything except the 'boy humor.'
B: I've got to work on that.
pink eye
Cotter, my son, has conjunctivitis.
you likely will not catch it by reading my blog. But wash your hands with hot water and soap when you are done, just to be sure.
He's asked Kelli several times, "will you just touch my eye, please, just to touch it?"
I'm sad for him. We can get antibiotics for him in the morning.
you likely will not catch it by reading my blog. But wash your hands with hot water and soap when you are done, just to be sure.
He's asked Kelli several times, "will you just touch my eye, please, just to touch it?"
I'm sad for him. We can get antibiotics for him in the morning.
a microcosm
a trivial, but appropriate example of why I equate the liberal left to a five-year old who resorts to arguing with strategies such as "I know you are, but what am I?" and using terms such as "doody head" and "stoopid."
BTW, I was pointed to this from the Online Wall Street Journal, which is one of my favorite daily readings in my inbox.
CNN says (via Reuters): 'Bushisms' make university's banned list -- SAULT STE. MARIE, Michigan (Reuters) -- Overused cliches, wordy redundancies and hyperbolic phrases -- including "make no mistake about it" from President Bush -- were declared banished Wednesday by the university overseers of an annual list of banned words.
Other favored utterances of President Bush -- sometimes called "Bushisms" -- such as "material breach," "weapons of mass destruction," and "homeland security," were the tired targets of the New Year's Day list compiled by the public relations staff at Lake Superior State University.
The actual list , as the WSJ points out, doesn't make any Bush references to these statements. So, any attribution of the "coining of the phrases"to president Bush is pure editorializing. Furthermore after looking for some etymology, I was unable to find any link between the President and this term.
The leftist strategy is simple:
Repeat the mantra -- "Bush is stoopid."
Print, exagerrate, or conjure anything that will reinforce this mantra.
Then, disavow any bias whatsoever.
lather.
rinse.
repeat.
slather.
dispense.
repeat.
counterpoint: "During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet." - Al Gore Read more about this (my favorite statement: "Yeah, and I invented the spellchecker" - fellow inventor Dan Quayle on hearing that Al Gore invented the Internet. )
relevant statements discovered:
"Little minds mistake little objects for great ones, and lavish away upon the former that time and attention which only the latter deserve. To such mistakes we owe the numerous and frivolous tribe of insect-mongers, shell-mongers, and pursuers and driers of butterflies, etc. The strong mind distinguishes, not only between the useful and the useless, but likewise between the useful and the curious. " -- Philip Dormer Stanhope, 4th Earl Chesterfield (1694–1773), British statesman, man of letters. letter, Dec. 6, 1748, Letters Written by the Late Right Honourable Philip Dormer Stanhope, 4th Earl, Earl of Chesterfield, to his Son, Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl, Esq, 5th ed., vol. II, p. 112, London (1774).
"There is no mistake; there has been no mistake; and there shall be no mistake." -- Arthur Wellesley, Duke of Wellington (1769–1852) the closest thing to the actual 'bushism' only about 200 years too early
Wait! This just in...
"Let us make no mistake about it, this propagation was never one of her laws, nothing she ever demanded of us, but at the very most something she tolerated; I have told you so. Why! what difference would it make to her were the race of men entirely to be extinguished upon earth, annihilated! she laughs at our pride when we persuade ourselves all would be over and done with were this misfortune to occur! "
ATTRIBUTION: Marquis de Sade (1740–1814), French author. Dolmancé, in “Dialogue the Fifth,” Philosophy in the Bedroom (1795). Describing Nature’s laws; real name is comte Donatian-Alphonse-François de Sade.
and now you know.
BTW, I was pointed to this from the Online Wall Street Journal, which is one of my favorite daily readings in my inbox.
CNN says (via Reuters): 'Bushisms' make university's banned list -- SAULT STE. MARIE, Michigan (Reuters) -- Overused cliches, wordy redundancies and hyperbolic phrases -- including "make no mistake about it" from President Bush -- were declared banished Wednesday by the university overseers of an annual list of banned words.
Other favored utterances of President Bush -- sometimes called "Bushisms" -- such as "material breach," "weapons of mass destruction," and "homeland security," were the tired targets of the New Year's Day list compiled by the public relations staff at Lake Superior State University.
The actual list , as the WSJ points out, doesn't make any Bush references to these statements. So, any attribution of the "coining of the phrases"to president Bush is pure editorializing. Furthermore after looking for some etymology, I was unable to find any link between the President and this term.
The leftist strategy is simple:
Repeat the mantra -- "Bush is stoopid."
Print, exagerrate, or conjure anything that will reinforce this mantra.
Then, disavow any bias whatsoever.
lather.
rinse.
repeat.
slather.
dispense.
repeat.
counterpoint: "During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet." - Al Gore Read more about this (my favorite statement: "Yeah, and I invented the spellchecker" - fellow inventor Dan Quayle on hearing that Al Gore invented the Internet. )
relevant statements discovered:
"Little minds mistake little objects for great ones, and lavish away upon the former that time and attention which only the latter deserve. To such mistakes we owe the numerous and frivolous tribe of insect-mongers, shell-mongers, and pursuers and driers of butterflies, etc. The strong mind distinguishes, not only between the useful and the useless, but likewise between the useful and the curious. " -- Philip Dormer Stanhope, 4th Earl Chesterfield (1694–1773), British statesman, man of letters. letter, Dec. 6, 1748, Letters Written by the Late Right Honourable Philip Dormer Stanhope, 4th Earl, Earl of Chesterfield, to his Son, Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl, Esq, 5th ed., vol. II, p. 112, London (1774).
"There is no mistake; there has been no mistake; and there shall be no mistake." -- Arthur Wellesley, Duke of Wellington (1769–1852) the closest thing to the actual 'bushism' only about 200 years too early
Wait! This just in...
"Let us make no mistake about it, this propagation was never one of her laws, nothing she ever demanded of us, but at the very most something she tolerated; I have told you so. Why! what difference would it make to her were the race of men entirely to be extinguished upon earth, annihilated! she laughs at our pride when we persuade ourselves all would be over and done with were this misfortune to occur! "
ATTRIBUTION: Marquis de Sade (1740–1814), French author. Dolmancé, in “Dialogue the Fifth,” Philosophy in the Bedroom (1795). Describing Nature’s laws; real name is comte Donatian-Alphonse-François de Sade.
and now you know.
further proof
that I'm a big giant dork...
For Christmas, my brother gave me the Cambridge Encyclopedia of the English Language.
and I love it!
For Christmas, my brother gave me the Cambridge Encyclopedia of the English Language.
and I love it!
signs of the impending apocalypse #15
the "wacky religious news of 2k2", from beliefnet
I wish this wasn't in the form of a survey, or quiz, or whatever it is. But the results are certainly indicative of a sad, fallen world.
I wish this wasn't in the form of a survey, or quiz, or whatever it is. But the results are certainly indicative of a sad, fallen world.
a cinematic surprise
recently saw I am Sam
very good.
can see why Sean Penn was nominated for an Oscar.
very good.
can see why Sean Penn was nominated for an Oscar.
a proverb #1
conscience is like a sundial. When the truth of God shines on it, it points the right way
a couple of good blogs
have been added to my blogroll
Bleeding Brain. Decent commentary, plus, the coolest mouse pointer I've seen lately.
The Gleeful Extremist. A fellow class of '90 alum, shares my brother's first name, and an all-around entertaining blog.
Bleeding Brain. Decent commentary, plus, the coolest mouse pointer I've seen lately.
The Gleeful Extremist. A fellow class of '90 alum, shares my brother's first name, and an all-around entertaining blog.
a good word from Dr. Jimmy Draper
From Dr. Draper's weekly email, Lifeway at Heart
As we begin a new year, I want to offer for your thinking this month some images of ministry from the Bible. These apply to those who are pastor, staff ministers, missionaries and denominational workers as well as to laypeople engaged in ministries through your churches, your communities and around the world.
Tragically, one of the pervasive models for pastoral ministry today is a business model, that of the pastor as CEO. Is it not an irony that just at the time when churches have cozied up to the business world, the business world has begun to question its own model of unfettered hubris and power?
But this generation is not the first to fall victim to such misguided thinking. At a time when the Corinthian church had begun to look at pastors as competing superstars, Paul wrote these corrective words: "So what is Apollos? And what is Paul? They are servants (diakonoi) through whom you believed, and each has the role the Lord has given" (1 Corinthians 3:5). The original meaning of the word "deacon" was waiter. Paul and Apollos were not hard-driving CEOs. They were servants waiting on God and on the believers.
Dr. George W. Truett to this day stands as one hailed on every hand as one of the greatest of Southern Baptist ministers. Pastor of First Baptist Church, Dallas, from 1897-1944, Dr. Truett served as chairman of numerous institutional boards, as president of the Southern Baptist Convention and president of the Baptist World Alliance. He received more honors than it would be possible to recite.
Yet Dr. Truett's greatness was not due to any of his titles or his honors. George W. Truett was great because he was, first and foremost, a servant of God and a servant to those around him. During the Great Depression, Dr. Truett could not keep an overcoat because he kept giving them to freezing men on the streets of Dallas. The deacons hesitated to give him the deed to the parsonage out of concern that he might give that away. When a pulpit committee from Garland, Texas, visited him during a North Texas ice storm, they arrived in a horse-drawn carriage. Their feet were frozen from the icy weather. When they entered Dr. Truett's home, he fell to his knees and removed their frozen boots with his own hands.
What is your model for ministry in 2003? Do not look to those who have gotten to the top by pushing others out of the way. Instead, look to those who are humbly serving, meeting needs in Christ's name.
In His love,
Jimmy Draper
As we begin a new year, I want to offer for your thinking this month some images of ministry from the Bible. These apply to those who are pastor, staff ministers, missionaries and denominational workers as well as to laypeople engaged in ministries through your churches, your communities and around the world.
Tragically, one of the pervasive models for pastoral ministry today is a business model, that of the pastor as CEO. Is it not an irony that just at the time when churches have cozied up to the business world, the business world has begun to question its own model of unfettered hubris and power?
But this generation is not the first to fall victim to such misguided thinking. At a time when the Corinthian church had begun to look at pastors as competing superstars, Paul wrote these corrective words: "So what is Apollos? And what is Paul? They are servants (diakonoi) through whom you believed, and each has the role the Lord has given" (1 Corinthians 3:5). The original meaning of the word "deacon" was waiter. Paul and Apollos were not hard-driving CEOs. They were servants waiting on God and on the believers.
Dr. George W. Truett to this day stands as one hailed on every hand as one of the greatest of Southern Baptist ministers. Pastor of First Baptist Church, Dallas, from 1897-1944, Dr. Truett served as chairman of numerous institutional boards, as president of the Southern Baptist Convention and president of the Baptist World Alliance. He received more honors than it would be possible to recite.
Yet Dr. Truett's greatness was not due to any of his titles or his honors. George W. Truett was great because he was, first and foremost, a servant of God and a servant to those around him. During the Great Depression, Dr. Truett could not keep an overcoat because he kept giving them to freezing men on the streets of Dallas. The deacons hesitated to give him the deed to the parsonage out of concern that he might give that away. When a pulpit committee from Garland, Texas, visited him during a North Texas ice storm, they arrived in a horse-drawn carriage. Their feet were frozen from the icy weather. When they entered Dr. Truett's home, he fell to his knees and removed their frozen boots with his own hands.
What is your model for ministry in 2003? Do not look to those who have gotten to the top by pushing others out of the way. Instead, look to those who are humbly serving, meeting needs in Christ's name.
In His love,
Jimmy Draper
12/31/2002
gonna party like its 1999
well, probably not.
in '99, Kelli and I played board games with our friends the Baldoziers, waiting to see if the world would collapse at midnight. When it didn't, we kept playing.
tomorrow, we'll spend the day watching football with Kelli's folks and brother's family.
in '99, Kelli and I played board games with our friends the Baldoziers, waiting to see if the world would collapse at midnight. When it didn't, we kept playing.
tomorrow, we'll spend the day watching football with Kelli's folks and brother's family.
a serious question
we're beginning a monday night praise and worship for ex-offenders (we have 17 prisons in our county -- from local to state penitentiary to the Federal SuperMax). What should we name it?
dissed again
awards I did not win in 2002
Nobel Prize -- in any category (Peace, Literature, Physics, etc...)
Oscar, Best supporting actor
People, Sexiest Man Alive
E! Entertainment Fashion Award
Tony Award
Grammy -- Best New Rap Artist
Congressional Medal of Honor
People's Choice Award - Best New Comedy
Caldecott Award for children's literature
Olympic Medal -- Freestyle Moguls
NFL Super Bowl MVP
NBA Sixth Man Award
NHL Vezina Trophy for best goalie
MLB Gold Glove or Silver Slugger
MLS Rookie of the Year
MTV Movie Award for Best Kiss
Pulitzer Prize
Survivor Thailand Champion
maybe 2K3 will be my year....
Nobel Prize -- in any category (Peace, Literature, Physics, etc...)
Oscar, Best supporting actor
People, Sexiest Man Alive
E! Entertainment Fashion Award
Tony Award
Grammy -- Best New Rap Artist
Congressional Medal of Honor
People's Choice Award - Best New Comedy
Caldecott Award for children's literature
Olympic Medal -- Freestyle Moguls
NFL Super Bowl MVP
NBA Sixth Man Award
NHL Vezina Trophy for best goalie
MLB Gold Glove or Silver Slugger
MLS Rookie of the Year
MTV Movie Award for Best Kiss
Pulitzer Prize
Survivor Thailand Champion
maybe 2K3 will be my year....
12/30/2002
cool
it only took 88 days...
but I finally had my 1000th unique hit at my blog.
thanks for reading. I really appreciate your time!
but I finally had my 1000th unique hit at my blog.
thanks for reading. I really appreciate your time!
the bp article on the missionary slayings
Three killed, one injured in attack on Baptist hospital in Yemen
By Mark Kelly
RICHMOND, Va. (BP) -- Three Americans were killed and another wounded Monday, Dec. 30, when a lone gunman attacked a Baptist hospital in Jibla, Yemen.Hospital administrator William E. Koehn, purchasing agent Kathleen A.Gariety and physician Martha C. Myers were killed and pharmacist Donald W.Caswell was injured in the early morning attack.
The Americans were involved in a meeting at the beginning of the work day at the hospital. A single gunman burst into the room and opened fire. Koehn, Gariety and Myers were killed immediately. The gunman reportedly then moved to another room, where he wounded Caswell. He also aimed his gun at a Filipino hospital employee, but the weapon did not fire.
A 35-year-old man surrendered to hospital security personnel and was taken into custody. Koehn, 60, of Arlington, Texas, had planned to retire in October 2003 after 28 years of service. Gariety, 53, was from Wauwatosa, Wisc. Myers, 57, was from Montgomery, Ala. Caswell, 49, is from Levelland, Texas. Caswell was taken to surgery, where two bullets were removed. He is expected to recover from his injuries.All four served at the hospital as representatives of the Southern Baptist International Mission Board.
‘DEVASTATED’
“We are devastated by this news,” said board spokesman Larry Cox. “We are moving quickly to assist family members. We’re grateful God spared the lives of others and pray that His spirit will meet the needs of everyone touched by this crisis.” As news of the attack spread, the streets outside were filled with local residents, said Kaye Rock, another Southern Baptist worker at the hospital. “People here loved these people so much,” Rock said. “Yesterday Bill gave sacks of wheat and sugar to widows and divorced women in city. He’s been doing that almost every month with relief donations we receive. “The people here who love us are decimated even more than we are, because they don’t see the big picture,” she said. “But the Bible says ‘Precious in the eyes of the Lord is the blood of his saints.’ The church is built on the blood of the martyrs, and any of those three people would have gladly given their lives for that.”
‘UNDETERRED’
The murders won’t deter Americans at the hospital from their ministry, Rock said. “We can’t let someone with a gun make us afraid to do what God wants us to do. We’re asking people to pray that these deaths will not be a senseless waste, but that God will complete all He has intended here and that He will be glorified.” No decision has been made about relocating other Americans connected with the hospital, Cox said. The American embassy in Sanaa advised Americans in the country to enhance their personal security and asked the Yemeni government to provide additional security for Americans.
The Southern Baptist International Mission Board has operated Jibla Baptist Hospital, located about 120 miles south of Yemen’s capital, Sanaa, for 35 years. More than 40,000 patients a year are treated at the facility, which is on property owned by the Yemeni government. The hospital provides free care and medicine to those who cannot afford it. It also has responded to relief needs during earthquakes and famine. “Our personnel, as Americans and Christians, are well aware of the risks of living and serving in a place like Yemen,” said Jerry Rankin, International Mission Board president. “Yet their love of the Yemeni people and obedience to a conviction of God’s leadership has been expressed in a willingness to take that risk—and to give of their lives. Our hearts go out to their families, colleagues and local friends, who join us in grieving this tragic loss.”
The International Mission Board (www.imb.org) is an entity of the 16-million-member Southern Baptist Convention. It has 5,487 missionaries working among 1,497 people groups worldwide. In 2001, Southern Baptist missionaries and their co-workers baptized more than 395,773 new believers and organized 5,775 churches.
By Mark Kelly
RICHMOND, Va. (BP) -- Three Americans were killed and another wounded Monday, Dec. 30, when a lone gunman attacked a Baptist hospital in Jibla, Yemen.Hospital administrator William E. Koehn, purchasing agent Kathleen A.Gariety and physician Martha C. Myers were killed and pharmacist Donald W.Caswell was injured in the early morning attack.
The Americans were involved in a meeting at the beginning of the work day at the hospital. A single gunman burst into the room and opened fire. Koehn, Gariety and Myers were killed immediately. The gunman reportedly then moved to another room, where he wounded Caswell. He also aimed his gun at a Filipino hospital employee, but the weapon did not fire.
A 35-year-old man surrendered to hospital security personnel and was taken into custody. Koehn, 60, of Arlington, Texas, had planned to retire in October 2003 after 28 years of service. Gariety, 53, was from Wauwatosa, Wisc. Myers, 57, was from Montgomery, Ala. Caswell, 49, is from Levelland, Texas. Caswell was taken to surgery, where two bullets were removed. He is expected to recover from his injuries.All four served at the hospital as representatives of the Southern Baptist International Mission Board.
‘DEVASTATED’
“We are devastated by this news,” said board spokesman Larry Cox. “We are moving quickly to assist family members. We’re grateful God spared the lives of others and pray that His spirit will meet the needs of everyone touched by this crisis.” As news of the attack spread, the streets outside were filled with local residents, said Kaye Rock, another Southern Baptist worker at the hospital. “People here loved these people so much,” Rock said. “Yesterday Bill gave sacks of wheat and sugar to widows and divorced women in city. He’s been doing that almost every month with relief donations we receive. “The people here who love us are decimated even more than we are, because they don’t see the big picture,” she said. “But the Bible says ‘Precious in the eyes of the Lord is the blood of his saints.’ The church is built on the blood of the martyrs, and any of those three people would have gladly given their lives for that.”
‘UNDETERRED’
The murders won’t deter Americans at the hospital from their ministry, Rock said. “We can’t let someone with a gun make us afraid to do what God wants us to do. We’re asking people to pray that these deaths will not be a senseless waste, but that God will complete all He has intended here and that He will be glorified.” No decision has been made about relocating other Americans connected with the hospital, Cox said. The American embassy in Sanaa advised Americans in the country to enhance their personal security and asked the Yemeni government to provide additional security for Americans.
The Southern Baptist International Mission Board has operated Jibla Baptist Hospital, located about 120 miles south of Yemen’s capital, Sanaa, for 35 years. More than 40,000 patients a year are treated at the facility, which is on property owned by the Yemeni government. The hospital provides free care and medicine to those who cannot afford it. It also has responded to relief needs during earthquakes and famine. “Our personnel, as Americans and Christians, are well aware of the risks of living and serving in a place like Yemen,” said Jerry Rankin, International Mission Board president. “Yet their love of the Yemeni people and obedience to a conviction of God’s leadership has been expressed in a willingness to take that risk—and to give of their lives. Our hearts go out to their families, colleagues and local friends, who join us in grieving this tragic loss.”
The International Mission Board (www.imb.org) is an entity of the 16-million-member Southern Baptist Convention. It has 5,487 missionaries working among 1,497 people groups worldwide. In 2001, Southern Baptist missionaries and their co-workers baptized more than 395,773 new believers and organized 5,775 churches.
a bare church cupboard
By Cathy Lynn Grossman, USA TODAY
The color of Christmas may be red ink this year for many of the nation's churches.
Experts blame 6% unemployment and sinking investment income for pummeling budgets of congregations great and small, black and white, urban and suburban. Adding to it: scandals, controversies and rumors of war.
Many religious institutions finished November at 10% to 20% below the usual level for the year to date, says Jerry Butler, executive director of the Willow Creek Association, a national network of 4,800 evangelical megachurches. "The word you hear everywhere is 'cutbacks.' "
read more
The color of Christmas may be red ink this year for many of the nation's churches.
Experts blame 6% unemployment and sinking investment income for pummeling budgets of congregations great and small, black and white, urban and suburban. Adding to it: scandals, controversies and rumors of war.
Many religious institutions finished November at 10% to 20% below the usual level for the year to date, says Jerry Butler, executive director of the Willow Creek Association, a national network of 4,800 evangelical megachurches. "The word you hear everywhere is 'cutbacks.' "
read more
aparaphunnies
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To put out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To put out burning ducks.
To put out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To put out burning ducks.
12/29/2002
my big fat greek wedding
2002 was a big year for movies. The top ten movies of this year made over 2.3 billion dollars, and that doesn’t include this weekend, typically a big weekend following Christmas. This year, cinematically speaking, will be remembered for two themes. First, it will be remembered for its’ youthful attraction. Three animated features made the top ten (Lilo & Stitch, Scooby Doo, and Ice Age), as well as at least four others that were very appealing to older children (Men In Black II, Star Wars Episode II, Harry Potter & the Chamber of Secrets, & the #1 movie of the year at $403 million dollars gross, Spiderman). Second, it will be remembered for being a year of sequels. This year, in the top ten, were the latest chapters of Harry Potter, Star Wars, Austin Powers, and Men in Black. But joining these sequels were an additional seventeen re-hashes, including the 10th Star Trek movie, the 8th chapter in the epic Halloween horror saga, and even the second chapter in the Left Behind series; all of this proving the biblical truth that there is nothing new under the sun.
In the midst of this banner (or banal) year, one film seemed to surprise everybody. The movie about a Greek woman marrying a non-Greek man and the hilarity which ensues is based on a one-person stage show, cost about $5 million to make, and has made over $200 million dollars so far. Plans are in the works to make the movie into a spin-off television series to be aired next season, and the star of the movie is the toast of Hollywood. The movie has been lauded with phrases like, “laugh out loud funny,” “one party you shouldn’t miss,” and of course, the coveted, “two thumbs up!”
Today, we’re going to borrow the title of this movie to talk about some of God’s most incredible promises. I’ve decided to use this approach over the next few weeks of messages because of a couple of reasons. First, because God has told us that while are not to be of this world, we do have to live in it. And while we are here, we need to engage our culture, interact with our world. And so, I encourage you to invite unchurched folks to worship over the next few weeks because we’re going to use one of the most popular forms of mass entertainment, for the purpose of bringing glory to God. The second reason we’re going to be having a “Blockbuster winter” sermon series is because many times Hollywood liberally and without apology seeks to shape the culture using (and misusing) God’s Holy Word. Well, in our time together for a few weeks, we’re going to turn the tables, and use Hollywood’s work for a higher purpose.
If you spend a little time in God’s word, the Bible, you discover something interesting about Jesus. He spends an unusual amount of time talking like a man who is interested in marriages. Yet, we have no historical account that Jesus was ever married, nor was He ever even betrothed to be married. The first miracle He performed took place at a wedding, when He turned water into wine. He spoke two prominent parables in Matthew 22 and 25 – one about the guests at the wedding feast of a king’s son, and the second about ten virgins looking for the bridegroom. And interestingly, He makes some statements, recorded in John chapter 14, that are very revealing about His purpose and work here on earth.
Before we get to those very important words, I want to introduce you to a couple of Jewish traditions that you will probably find very interesting. If you want to take some notes, you might write “the ancient Jewish wedding process” as the heading. First, the father of the groom selects and approves the choice of the bride. Then, after the marriage contract is agreed upon, the son of the groom goes back to the father’s home and prepares a bridal chamber where the two of them will stay for seven days after the ceremony. It is only when the bridal chamber meets the approval of the father that the groom go to get the bride. Meanwhile, the bride is to be waiting, and is to be prepared because the groom would come at night. When the groom arrived, he would take away the bride for the ceremony, then the groom would take the bride to the bridal chamber, where the wedding was consummated. Finally, the couple would then take part in a seven-day wedding celebration highlighted by extravagant feasts. Then, the couple would go on to live their married lives in their new home as part of the Father’s house.
In light of these traditions, let us now go to John 14, and read the words of Jesus:
"Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. And where I go you know, and the way you know. Thomas said to Him, "Lord, we do not know where You are going, and how can we know the way?'' Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.
Now, we have to realize that Jesus is saying these words to His disciples who were largely Jewish. And, relating the words of the Christ to the Jewish traditions, you might be tempted to say, “okay, this is all fine, but so far, it sounds like the title of this sermon should be “My Big Fat Jewish Wedding.” That is understandable, until you consider a very important factor: In the book of Romans, chapter 10, verses 12-14, God declares this:
For the Scripture says, "Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.' For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call upon Him. For "whoever calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.''
Suddenly, we can understand that a whole world of strangers, of non-Jewish people were brought in to the family of God, by faith. They, as Romans 9 says, could be grafted to the root of Israel. Back in the day, the non-Jewish world – that world known as Gentile – was Grecian in their heritage. They were Greeks. Hence, the connection. So, now that we can see that there is no distinction made between the Jew and the Gentile, we can know that these words are given for us, and we can examine these words to perhaps get a glimpse of what heaven is going to be like, in the context of the marriage between the Groom – the lamb of God, Jesus, the Christ – and His Bride, the church.
First, we should give our attention to Christ’s comforting proposal. Two things are said in verse one in the context of a proposal that are actually commands to the listener, and both give tremendous comfort.
The first command that Jesus gives is the command to relax! He says, “Let not your heart be troubled!” Here, Jesus was giving a promise to a group of people who were more nervous than even they realized. Have you ever heard of a nervous bride? Well, this group of Jesus’ followers were as nervous as a group of people could be. You see, for quite some time they had been working and positioning themselves to be a part of Jesus leadership. They recognized Jesus as the Messiah, and they were going to be right behind Him as He ushered in the new regime. But, just a few verses earlier, Jesus told them that He would be betrayed, and that He would soon be leaving them. To them, this was the equivalent of being the bride who has a wedding a week away and getting a visit from the groom, and he starts off the conversation with “We need to have a talk…”
All their hopes all their expectations, all their plans were falling apart right before them. All their hopes in the Messiah were being challenged. And they were panicked! But Jesus had a word for them. Relax! Let not your heart be troubled.
People back then had been looking for the Messiah for 4000 years. People had been searching for God for 40 centuries. Their anticipation had been high, and many, many people were hungry for God. And they thought they had found their answer in Jesus. Now, in the face of serious opposition, rather than moving into the fulfillment of their hopes and plans and expectations, they faced impending defeat! But Jesus told them to let their hearts not be troubled!
That same word is commanded to us, today, as well. Two thousand additional years have passed, and people are still seeking God. People are still hungry to be redeemed and restored back to God. I hope that’s why you are in church today! Not because you are trying to please your spouse, or because you’re just trying to give your child a good example, but because you are hungry for God, and you are seeking Him! And if you are, you needn’t worry, because Jesus says to you, relax! Let not your heart be troubled!
And here’s why – because He gives a second command. After He says “relax,” He says, “relate!” He says to all of us – then and now – “you believe in God, believe also in me.” We need to get it straight and to make it clear – to believe in God is to believe in Jesus. They are one and the same. There is no shadow of turning with either. Both are the same yesterday, today, and forever. Both are eternal, omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent. They are the Father and the Son, but they are One, along with the Holy Spirit! Each has different roles and responsibility, but together they have one purpose! They are unified, focused, and unswerving in their plan! Jesus is God and God is Jesus! How do I know this – because my Bible tells me so! Jesus says in John 10:30, “I and my Father are One!” How much clearer does He need to make it?
You know, we’ve had countless people over the past 2000 years marrying themselves to some real whack-jobs out there trying to find God. You had people from a long time ago calling themselves Gnostics, saying that the only way to God was to find the deeper meanings of the Bible. People have married themselves to false Messiahs – literally and figuratively – ever since the real Messiah left the earth. People in recent history like Sun Myung Moon, David Koresh, Jim Jones, Herph Applewhite, and countless others have led far too many people away from God because these folks, in their desperation to be restored and reconciled back to God, missed the point and disobeyed the commands to relax, and realize that Jesus is the Only One to be worshipped as God!
Only when we can relax by letting our hearts not be troubled through relating Jesus Christ to God, can we really understand what He is truly proposing in the following two verses. So, with hearts at peace that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and God in the flesh, we proceed, to examine the ceremonial plans.
First, Jesus tells you about the palace. He says, “In my Father’s House there are many mansions. If it were not so, I would have told you.” You see, it is at this point that Jesus starts talking in a “marriage language.” He is telling us where He is about to go. To His Father’s House. Now, some of your Bibles, according to translation, say, “In my Father’s house are many rooms.” That rendering of the Greek word mone. The word literally means “abode,” or “dwelling place.” So, literally, Jesus is saying, “In My Father’s house, there are many dwelling places.” Now, let’s just take a moment for some of what I will call “fun math.” According to the book of Revelation chapter 21, the new Jerusalem that descends from heaven, which is described as the dwelling place of God, will be surrounded by a wall of translucent gold that is 216 feet thick. More amazing than this is the fact that this wall will be approximately 1378 miles wide, 1378 miles long, and 1378 miles tall. That means that the area inside the wall will be approximately 2.616 trillion cubic miles! Now, according to one website, there have been approximately 106 billion people to ever live on the earth (which I disagree with, since the site says humans are 50,000 years old and doesn’t account for the Flood). But let’s just take that number. 106 billion. And if I were a universalist, meaning I believed everyone was going to heaven (which I don’t, says Jesus – God – says that narrow is the path that leads to heaven and few will find it) – but if I were and every one of those 106 billion people went to heaven, at the dimensions given in Revelation, each person would have a living space of 3,686,400 square feet (not to mention vaulted ceilings that went another 1920 feet high!)! And like I said, these numbers are grossly inadequate, since far fewer than 106 billion people will be in heaven.
So, Jesus has said, “In my Father’s house are many dwelling places. I suppose with dimensions of this magnitude, it would be even an understatement to call these dwelling places mansions! But it’s the best word we’ve got! And this is where Jesus is going.
As we continue, He shares with us His purpose for going to his Father’s palace. He says, “I go to prepare a place for you.” In John’s writings, we see him use a common literary tool of parenthetical statements. So, what we have here where we see, “if it were not true, I would have told you,” is a parenthetical statement associated to the affirmation that His Father’s house has many mansions. So, He’s saying, “My Father’s House has many mansions, for I go and prepare a place for you. He is literally going to His Father’s House to make ready the place, the mansion, the abode that is specifically set aside and planned and reserved for you.
Now, don’t get so wrapped up in the wonderment of your home in heaven that you forget why He’s preparing the home He’s providing for you. You are going to heaven as the bride of Christ. We are His bride! This means that the Father has selected us, has approved us for marriage. Jesus, following the customs and traditions that are reflected in the ancient Jewish traditions, has gone back to the Father’s house to prepare a place for His Bride! He’s not just some cosmic Bob Vila who’s doing a home improvement because He’s got nothing better to do. He’s preparing a special home for His bride, the church!
Now, we come to the precious promise of the Christ’s ceremonial plans. He says, “and if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to myself.” This statement is one of the most misunderstood verses in scripture, because, too often, it is taken by itself, and thus, out of context. On its own, it looks like a conditional statement that says, if I go, which makes the entire proposition entirely speculative. But, when the statement is taken in the context of the passage, it takes on an entirely new understanding. Just a few words earlier, Jesus is guaranteeing that He is going to His Father’s house, and He is doing it to prepare a place for you. Now, he’s saying that because He is going, He will come again and receive you to Himself.
I’ll make a parallel statement here, so you can see it in comparable terms. My initial statement is, “I am a Bronco fan. I root for the Broncos. And if I am a Bronco fan who roots for the Broncos, then I will root for the Broncos today when they play against the Cardinals.” My statements are simply a flow of logic that says the first two statements are true. Accordingly, the third statement is true because it is built on the foundation of the previous two. The only difference is, Jesus’ promise to return to take His bride back to heaven is a lot more reliable than mine to root for the Broncos this afternoon!
From the promise, Jesus goes go on to reveal the point of His work. He says, “that where I am, you may be also.” The point is this – Jesus has come to claim His bride and restore her to her place in heaven! We need to understand that this is what heaven is – being in the presence of the bridegroom forever! People have this watered-down concept of heaven that it will be a bunch of boring people sitting on clouds strumming on harps forever. That is simply not the case. Heaven is an eternity of being in the presence of the Bridegroom. It means being forever in the presence of the Holy One who John describes in this way: “One like the Son of Man, clothed with a garment down to the feet and girded about the chest with a golden band. His head and His hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and His eyes like a flame of fire; His feet were like fine brass, as if refined in a furnace, and His voice as the sound of many waters; He had in His right hand seven stars, out of His mouth went a sharp two-edged sword, and His countenance was like the sun shining in its strength.” We will never tire of His company, we will never cease singing praises of adoration and worship to Him, we will never get bored with serving Him, and we will never lose interest in reigning with Him!
In verse 4, Jesus tells us about the place of heaven. He says, “and where I go, you know, and the way, you know.” Now, in verse 5, Thomas claims not to know what Jesus is talking about, so Jesus clears up the matter in verse 6, but we’ll talk about that in just a moment. Here, though, we must address the reality that Jesus is telling the truth. Jesus is saying this – The good news of heaven’s availability to all people through a marriage relationship of faith in Him is as comfortable as a well-fitting pair of shoes. And when a person examines the claims and promises of Jesus Christ, they will discover that it is just right. It isn’t difficult. It isn’t unbelievable. It is truth that is affirmed by the Holy Spirit. It is the scriptural reality that promises that says, if you seek Jesus with your whole heart, you will find Him. He will not hide Himself from you. If you knock, He will answer. If you request, you will receive. And when you receive the promise of heaven and eternal life through faith in Christ, you’ll understand that your death means a home-going. You will be going to the place for which you were created, to accomplish the purpose for which you were created.
And the process of how is what Jesus clarifies in verse 6. He says this, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through Me.” He makes it clear if there was any confusion. There is no other way to go to the Father’s house, unless you arrive as the bride of the Son. You cannot get to the mansion unless you are willing to live forever in the mansion that’s been prepared for you. He says here that He is the truth. There is no alternate truth. There is no route to glory that circumvents or disagrees with Jesus. No man gets to the Father except through the Son.
I close today with this image given to us in Revelation 19: And I heard, as it were, the voice of a great multitude, as the sound of many waters and as the sound of mighty thunderings, saying, "Alleluia! For the Lord God Omnipotent reigns! "Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready.'' And to her it was granted to be arrayed in fine linen, clean and bright, for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints. Then he said to me, "Write: `Blessed are those who are called to the marriage supper of the Lamb!' '' And he said to me, "These are the true sayings of God.''
There is a wonderful wedding that will take place in eternity. A big fat glorious wedding between the Jewish Messiah and His Gentile bride. For two thousand years, Jesus has been preparing for it, and He’s due to come claim His bride at any time. He’s ready. The question is, are you?
In the midst of this banner (or banal) year, one film seemed to surprise everybody. The movie about a Greek woman marrying a non-Greek man and the hilarity which ensues is based on a one-person stage show, cost about $5 million to make, and has made over $200 million dollars so far. Plans are in the works to make the movie into a spin-off television series to be aired next season, and the star of the movie is the toast of Hollywood. The movie has been lauded with phrases like, “laugh out loud funny,” “one party you shouldn’t miss,” and of course, the coveted, “two thumbs up!”
Today, we’re going to borrow the title of this movie to talk about some of God’s most incredible promises. I’ve decided to use this approach over the next few weeks of messages because of a couple of reasons. First, because God has told us that while are not to be of this world, we do have to live in it. And while we are here, we need to engage our culture, interact with our world. And so, I encourage you to invite unchurched folks to worship over the next few weeks because we’re going to use one of the most popular forms of mass entertainment, for the purpose of bringing glory to God. The second reason we’re going to be having a “Blockbuster winter” sermon series is because many times Hollywood liberally and without apology seeks to shape the culture using (and misusing) God’s Holy Word. Well, in our time together for a few weeks, we’re going to turn the tables, and use Hollywood’s work for a higher purpose.
If you spend a little time in God’s word, the Bible, you discover something interesting about Jesus. He spends an unusual amount of time talking like a man who is interested in marriages. Yet, we have no historical account that Jesus was ever married, nor was He ever even betrothed to be married. The first miracle He performed took place at a wedding, when He turned water into wine. He spoke two prominent parables in Matthew 22 and 25 – one about the guests at the wedding feast of a king’s son, and the second about ten virgins looking for the bridegroom. And interestingly, He makes some statements, recorded in John chapter 14, that are very revealing about His purpose and work here on earth.
Before we get to those very important words, I want to introduce you to a couple of Jewish traditions that you will probably find very interesting. If you want to take some notes, you might write “the ancient Jewish wedding process” as the heading. First, the father of the groom selects and approves the choice of the bride. Then, after the marriage contract is agreed upon, the son of the groom goes back to the father’s home and prepares a bridal chamber where the two of them will stay for seven days after the ceremony. It is only when the bridal chamber meets the approval of the father that the groom go to get the bride. Meanwhile, the bride is to be waiting, and is to be prepared because the groom would come at night. When the groom arrived, he would take away the bride for the ceremony, then the groom would take the bride to the bridal chamber, where the wedding was consummated. Finally, the couple would then take part in a seven-day wedding celebration highlighted by extravagant feasts. Then, the couple would go on to live their married lives in their new home as part of the Father’s house.
In light of these traditions, let us now go to John 14, and read the words of Jesus:
"Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. And where I go you know, and the way you know. Thomas said to Him, "Lord, we do not know where You are going, and how can we know the way?'' Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.
Now, we have to realize that Jesus is saying these words to His disciples who were largely Jewish. And, relating the words of the Christ to the Jewish traditions, you might be tempted to say, “okay, this is all fine, but so far, it sounds like the title of this sermon should be “My Big Fat Jewish Wedding.” That is understandable, until you consider a very important factor: In the book of Romans, chapter 10, verses 12-14, God declares this:
For the Scripture says, "Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.' For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call upon Him. For "whoever calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.''
Suddenly, we can understand that a whole world of strangers, of non-Jewish people were brought in to the family of God, by faith. They, as Romans 9 says, could be grafted to the root of Israel. Back in the day, the non-Jewish world – that world known as Gentile – was Grecian in their heritage. They were Greeks. Hence, the connection. So, now that we can see that there is no distinction made between the Jew and the Gentile, we can know that these words are given for us, and we can examine these words to perhaps get a glimpse of what heaven is going to be like, in the context of the marriage between the Groom – the lamb of God, Jesus, the Christ – and His Bride, the church.
First, we should give our attention to Christ’s comforting proposal. Two things are said in verse one in the context of a proposal that are actually commands to the listener, and both give tremendous comfort.
The first command that Jesus gives is the command to relax! He says, “Let not your heart be troubled!” Here, Jesus was giving a promise to a group of people who were more nervous than even they realized. Have you ever heard of a nervous bride? Well, this group of Jesus’ followers were as nervous as a group of people could be. You see, for quite some time they had been working and positioning themselves to be a part of Jesus leadership. They recognized Jesus as the Messiah, and they were going to be right behind Him as He ushered in the new regime. But, just a few verses earlier, Jesus told them that He would be betrayed, and that He would soon be leaving them. To them, this was the equivalent of being the bride who has a wedding a week away and getting a visit from the groom, and he starts off the conversation with “We need to have a talk…”
All their hopes all their expectations, all their plans were falling apart right before them. All their hopes in the Messiah were being challenged. And they were panicked! But Jesus had a word for them. Relax! Let not your heart be troubled.
People back then had been looking for the Messiah for 4000 years. People had been searching for God for 40 centuries. Their anticipation had been high, and many, many people were hungry for God. And they thought they had found their answer in Jesus. Now, in the face of serious opposition, rather than moving into the fulfillment of their hopes and plans and expectations, they faced impending defeat! But Jesus told them to let their hearts not be troubled!
That same word is commanded to us, today, as well. Two thousand additional years have passed, and people are still seeking God. People are still hungry to be redeemed and restored back to God. I hope that’s why you are in church today! Not because you are trying to please your spouse, or because you’re just trying to give your child a good example, but because you are hungry for God, and you are seeking Him! And if you are, you needn’t worry, because Jesus says to you, relax! Let not your heart be troubled!
And here’s why – because He gives a second command. After He says “relax,” He says, “relate!” He says to all of us – then and now – “you believe in God, believe also in me.” We need to get it straight and to make it clear – to believe in God is to believe in Jesus. They are one and the same. There is no shadow of turning with either. Both are the same yesterday, today, and forever. Both are eternal, omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent. They are the Father and the Son, but they are One, along with the Holy Spirit! Each has different roles and responsibility, but together they have one purpose! They are unified, focused, and unswerving in their plan! Jesus is God and God is Jesus! How do I know this – because my Bible tells me so! Jesus says in John 10:30, “I and my Father are One!” How much clearer does He need to make it?
You know, we’ve had countless people over the past 2000 years marrying themselves to some real whack-jobs out there trying to find God. You had people from a long time ago calling themselves Gnostics, saying that the only way to God was to find the deeper meanings of the Bible. People have married themselves to false Messiahs – literally and figuratively – ever since the real Messiah left the earth. People in recent history like Sun Myung Moon, David Koresh, Jim Jones, Herph Applewhite, and countless others have led far too many people away from God because these folks, in their desperation to be restored and reconciled back to God, missed the point and disobeyed the commands to relax, and realize that Jesus is the Only One to be worshipped as God!
Only when we can relax by letting our hearts not be troubled through relating Jesus Christ to God, can we really understand what He is truly proposing in the following two verses. So, with hearts at peace that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and God in the flesh, we proceed, to examine the ceremonial plans.
First, Jesus tells you about the palace. He says, “In my Father’s House there are many mansions. If it were not so, I would have told you.” You see, it is at this point that Jesus starts talking in a “marriage language.” He is telling us where He is about to go. To His Father’s House. Now, some of your Bibles, according to translation, say, “In my Father’s house are many rooms.” That rendering of the Greek word mone. The word literally means “abode,” or “dwelling place.” So, literally, Jesus is saying, “In My Father’s house, there are many dwelling places.” Now, let’s just take a moment for some of what I will call “fun math.” According to the book of Revelation chapter 21, the new Jerusalem that descends from heaven, which is described as the dwelling place of God, will be surrounded by a wall of translucent gold that is 216 feet thick. More amazing than this is the fact that this wall will be approximately 1378 miles wide, 1378 miles long, and 1378 miles tall. That means that the area inside the wall will be approximately 2.616 trillion cubic miles! Now, according to one website, there have been approximately 106 billion people to ever live on the earth (which I disagree with, since the site says humans are 50,000 years old and doesn’t account for the Flood). But let’s just take that number. 106 billion. And if I were a universalist, meaning I believed everyone was going to heaven (which I don’t, says Jesus – God – says that narrow is the path that leads to heaven and few will find it) – but if I were and every one of those 106 billion people went to heaven, at the dimensions given in Revelation, each person would have a living space of 3,686,400 square feet (not to mention vaulted ceilings that went another 1920 feet high!)! And like I said, these numbers are grossly inadequate, since far fewer than 106 billion people will be in heaven.
So, Jesus has said, “In my Father’s house are many dwelling places. I suppose with dimensions of this magnitude, it would be even an understatement to call these dwelling places mansions! But it’s the best word we’ve got! And this is where Jesus is going.
As we continue, He shares with us His purpose for going to his Father’s palace. He says, “I go to prepare a place for you.” In John’s writings, we see him use a common literary tool of parenthetical statements. So, what we have here where we see, “if it were not true, I would have told you,” is a parenthetical statement associated to the affirmation that His Father’s house has many mansions. So, He’s saying, “My Father’s House has many mansions, for I go and prepare a place for you. He is literally going to His Father’s House to make ready the place, the mansion, the abode that is specifically set aside and planned and reserved for you.
Now, don’t get so wrapped up in the wonderment of your home in heaven that you forget why He’s preparing the home He’s providing for you. You are going to heaven as the bride of Christ. We are His bride! This means that the Father has selected us, has approved us for marriage. Jesus, following the customs and traditions that are reflected in the ancient Jewish traditions, has gone back to the Father’s house to prepare a place for His Bride! He’s not just some cosmic Bob Vila who’s doing a home improvement because He’s got nothing better to do. He’s preparing a special home for His bride, the church!
Now, we come to the precious promise of the Christ’s ceremonial plans. He says, “and if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to myself.” This statement is one of the most misunderstood verses in scripture, because, too often, it is taken by itself, and thus, out of context. On its own, it looks like a conditional statement that says, if I go, which makes the entire proposition entirely speculative. But, when the statement is taken in the context of the passage, it takes on an entirely new understanding. Just a few words earlier, Jesus is guaranteeing that He is going to His Father’s house, and He is doing it to prepare a place for you. Now, he’s saying that because He is going, He will come again and receive you to Himself.
I’ll make a parallel statement here, so you can see it in comparable terms. My initial statement is, “I am a Bronco fan. I root for the Broncos. And if I am a Bronco fan who roots for the Broncos, then I will root for the Broncos today when they play against the Cardinals.” My statements are simply a flow of logic that says the first two statements are true. Accordingly, the third statement is true because it is built on the foundation of the previous two. The only difference is, Jesus’ promise to return to take His bride back to heaven is a lot more reliable than mine to root for the Broncos this afternoon!
From the promise, Jesus goes go on to reveal the point of His work. He says, “that where I am, you may be also.” The point is this – Jesus has come to claim His bride and restore her to her place in heaven! We need to understand that this is what heaven is – being in the presence of the bridegroom forever! People have this watered-down concept of heaven that it will be a bunch of boring people sitting on clouds strumming on harps forever. That is simply not the case. Heaven is an eternity of being in the presence of the Bridegroom. It means being forever in the presence of the Holy One who John describes in this way: “One like the Son of Man, clothed with a garment down to the feet and girded about the chest with a golden band. His head and His hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and His eyes like a flame of fire; His feet were like fine brass, as if refined in a furnace, and His voice as the sound of many waters; He had in His right hand seven stars, out of His mouth went a sharp two-edged sword, and His countenance was like the sun shining in its strength.” We will never tire of His company, we will never cease singing praises of adoration and worship to Him, we will never get bored with serving Him, and we will never lose interest in reigning with Him!
In verse 4, Jesus tells us about the place of heaven. He says, “and where I go, you know, and the way, you know.” Now, in verse 5, Thomas claims not to know what Jesus is talking about, so Jesus clears up the matter in verse 6, but we’ll talk about that in just a moment. Here, though, we must address the reality that Jesus is telling the truth. Jesus is saying this – The good news of heaven’s availability to all people through a marriage relationship of faith in Him is as comfortable as a well-fitting pair of shoes. And when a person examines the claims and promises of Jesus Christ, they will discover that it is just right. It isn’t difficult. It isn’t unbelievable. It is truth that is affirmed by the Holy Spirit. It is the scriptural reality that promises that says, if you seek Jesus with your whole heart, you will find Him. He will not hide Himself from you. If you knock, He will answer. If you request, you will receive. And when you receive the promise of heaven and eternal life through faith in Christ, you’ll understand that your death means a home-going. You will be going to the place for which you were created, to accomplish the purpose for which you were created.
And the process of how is what Jesus clarifies in verse 6. He says this, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through Me.” He makes it clear if there was any confusion. There is no other way to go to the Father’s house, unless you arrive as the bride of the Son. You cannot get to the mansion unless you are willing to live forever in the mansion that’s been prepared for you. He says here that He is the truth. There is no alternate truth. There is no route to glory that circumvents or disagrees with Jesus. No man gets to the Father except through the Son.
I close today with this image given to us in Revelation 19: And I heard, as it were, the voice of a great multitude, as the sound of many waters and as the sound of mighty thunderings, saying, "Alleluia! For the Lord God Omnipotent reigns! "Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready.'' And to her it was granted to be arrayed in fine linen, clean and bright, for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints. Then he said to me, "Write: `Blessed are those who are called to the marriage supper of the Lamb!' '' And he said to me, "These are the true sayings of God.''
There is a wonderful wedding that will take place in eternity. A big fat glorious wedding between the Jewish Messiah and His Gentile bride. For two thousand years, Jesus has been preparing for it, and He’s due to come claim His bride at any time. He’s ready. The question is, are you?
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