that's it. it's over.
i'm done.
really.
9/20/2003
yep, there she is
the official site is a little tardy getting a championship moment shot...so the best i can give you is the stock photo:
that's it. it's over.
i'm done.
really.
that's it. it's over.
i'm done.
really.
the moment that we all some of us have been waiting for
4th runner up....or last place: ms. california (yeah!)
3rd runner up...or at least you beat the last place chick...ms. maryland (thank you Lord!)
2nd runner up....or hey, good effort brainiac...ms. wisconsin.
1st runner up...or aloha tiny bubbles....ms. hawaii.
winner....ms america 2004...ms. florida...ericka dunlap
i can live with that.
although she's not exactly the picture of composure in victory.
well, its time to watch sports center.
3rd runner up...or at least you beat the last place chick...ms. maryland (thank you Lord!)
2nd runner up....or hey, good effort brainiac...ms. wisconsin.
1st runner up...or aloha tiny bubbles....ms. hawaii.
winner....ms america 2004...ms. florida...ericka dunlap
i can live with that.
although she's not exactly the picture of composure in victory.
well, its time to watch sports center.
noticeably absent
ryan...until now.
do you notice him trying to sneak out of the sight of the camera?
"a million dollars and a free wedding."
"a million dollars and a free wedding."
"a million dollars and a free wedding."
"a million dollars and a free wedding."
you just keep reminding yourself of that buddy.
do you notice him trying to sneak out of the sight of the camera?
"a million dollars and a free wedding."
"a million dollars and a free wedding."
"a million dollars and a free wedding."
"a million dollars and a free wedding."
you just keep reminding yourself of that buddy.
while they're counting the votes
i just gotta say...
if maryland or california wins....i think i'll just lose hope in what ms. america represents.
or i'll quickly forget about it.
yeah, that's probably what i'll do.
if maryland or california wins....i think i'll just lose hope in what ms. america represents.
or i'll quickly forget about it.
yeah, that's probably what i'll do.
barbie jeopardy
i forgot about this!
1. janet reno
2. patrick henry
3. annika sorenstam
4. dept of labor
5. jewelry
6. kennedy
7. speaker of the house
8.the devil wears prada the lovely bones
7 outta 8
wow, i could compete.
i was competing too closely to see who won "Ms. Dumb-As-A-Post"
1. janet reno
2. patrick henry
3. annika sorenstam
4. dept of labor
5. jewelry
6. kennedy
7. speaker of the house
8.
7 outta 8
wow, i could compete.
i was competing too closely to see who won "Ms. Dumb-As-A-Post"
maryland just went from brassy to bitchy
she mistakenly thinks that you can solve the public school's ills by pumping more money into them at the expense of private school vouchers.
i like my ms. americas in the tradition of my own ms. america. conservative. beautiful. confident. intelligent.
maryland just bombed on two or more of those. i'll let you decide which ones.
i like my ms. americas in the tradition of my own ms. america. conservative. beautiful. confident. intelligent.
maryland just bombed on two or more of those. i'll let you decide which ones.
too easy
aww mannnn! tommy boy's asking about their platform.
how easy is that?
that's like asking saddam hussein, "tell us why you're not such a bad guy."
here's my suggested topics:
california -- what should arnold drummond do in his first 90 days in office?
wisconsin -- how would you get rid of that fetid cheese odor that permeates the state?
florida -- are you tired of all the phallic jokes related to the appearance of your state?
maryland -- why aren't you more embarrassed that your state college's mascot is a turtle?
hawaii -- what do you say to the rumors that your people are planning a revolt to rebel of the governmental overthrow of your island princess so long ago?
how easy is that?
that's like asking saddam hussein, "tell us why you're not such a bad guy."
here's my suggested topics:
california -- what should arnold drummond do in his first 90 days in office?
wisconsin -- how would you get rid of that fetid cheese odor that permeates the state?
florida -- are you tired of all the phallic jokes related to the appearance of your state?
maryland -- why aren't you more embarrassed that your state college's mascot is a turtle?
hawaii -- what do you say to the rumors that your people are planning a revolt to rebel of the governmental overthrow of your island princess so long ago?
i went to the site, hoping to get my say
after all, ms. america should be chosen in a democratic manner, no?
but all that's there are photos...albeit up-to-the-minute ones.
alas, no voting to be had.
although i did see Moonbeam ms. California won the bikini showdown.
but all that's there are photos...albeit up-to-the-minute ones.
alas, no voting to be had.
although i did see Moonbeam ms. California won the bikini showdown.
no train wrecks yet...but snidely whiplash was seen down the tracks
they made it through the talent competition...but the "infamous quiz" is just on the other side of the commercial.
sung to the tune of its your thing
ms. florida sings. slightly better than adequately. a tad brassy. and maybe not enough sassy.
ms. california seems pretty new agey...so my vote is available. she sings, too. not as well as florida. i hope this doesn't start a whole new "west coast/east coast" thang. but at least she's at one with the universe when she's at the ocean's shore. that's gotta be worth something.
ms. maryland. pretty proud of herself. she carries a brass apple. brassy. sassy. guess what. she sings. i'm definitely afraid of her. but she's the best of the three so far.
(interruption -- at this point, i'd vote for anyone who does anything other than croon. even if their "talent" was manufacturing home-made sausage with the RonCo meat grinder.)
ms. wisconsin...playing up the sympathy card with her dad's kidney failure-related demise. she's the med school grad. if her talent is a kidney replacement, i'll be very impressed. nope. she's a celloist. once i wake up from her lullaby, she's getting my vote. seriously. she's not much of a looker. at all. but she's smart. and she plays the cello. and cello rhymes with jello. jello is almost like pudding. and bill cosby sells pudding. and i really think bill cosby is a comedic genius. so it only makes sense to vote for wisconsin.
ms. hawaii -- her only hope is to hula dance like there's no tomorrow. she's a little "hawaii proud." I don't think she'd represent georgia or colorado very well. Ms. America is about all 50 states, and the district of columbia. never forget that.
oh, and by the way....she sang. apparently, i make her feel like a natural woman. umm, okay. but i'm still not voting for you.
ms. california seems pretty new agey...so my vote is available. she sings, too. not as well as florida. i hope this doesn't start a whole new "west coast/east coast" thang. but at least she's at one with the universe when she's at the ocean's shore. that's gotta be worth something.
ms. maryland. pretty proud of herself. she carries a brass apple. brassy. sassy. guess what. she sings. i'm definitely afraid of her. but she's the best of the three so far.
(interruption -- at this point, i'd vote for anyone who does anything other than croon. even if their "talent" was manufacturing home-made sausage with the RonCo meat grinder.)
ms. wisconsin...playing up the sympathy card with her dad's kidney failure-related demise. she's the med school grad. if her talent is a kidney replacement, i'll be very impressed. nope. she's a celloist. once i wake up from her lullaby, she's getting my vote. seriously. she's not much of a looker. at all. but she's smart. and she plays the cello. and cello rhymes with jello. jello is almost like pudding. and bill cosby sells pudding. and i really think bill cosby is a comedic genius. so it only makes sense to vote for wisconsin.
ms. hawaii -- her only hope is to hula dance like there's no tomorrow. she's a little "hawaii proud." I don't think she'd represent georgia or colorado very well. Ms. America is about all 50 states, and the district of columbia. never forget that.
oh, and by the way....she sang. apparently, i make her feel like a natural woman. umm, okay. but i'm still not voting for you.
danger...train wrecks ahead
ms. wisconsin almost derailed with tommy's casual question. she sounded ....warbly. this is not a characteristic of a confident speaker. not ms. american-esque.
that doesn't bode well for the talent competition. i can only hope we've got a yodeler, a clogger, an operatic, a classical pianist, and a champion pig-suuueeey caller.
that'd be swell.
that doesn't bode well for the talent competition. i can only hope we've got a yodeler, a clogger, an operatic, a classical pianist, and a champion pig-suuueeey caller.
that'd be swell.
well so much for that
they always pick one ugly one to get to the final five, to give all the young girls of america a false hope that they too can one day get very close to accomplishing a dream before being hearlessly eliminated in front of all of the nation.
i'll let you decide about which one i'm referring.
but it's that one who took oklahoma's place.
i think i'm rootng for california now. but i think maryland will win.
she intimidates the judges.
and after all, she's sassy
i'll let you decide about which one i'm referring.
but it's that one who took oklahoma's place.
i think i'm rootng for california now. but i think maryland will win.
she intimidates the judges.
and after all, she's sassy
walk the plank you scallywags
oh...that was yesterday.
the five who remain are:
florida
california
maryland (she's gonna hurt someone with her celebrations!)
wisconsin
hawaii
the five who remain are:
florida
california
maryland (she's gonna hurt someone with her celebrations!)
wisconsin
hawaii
hot off the presses
ms florida won the evening wear competition (not to be confused with the night gown joust, that's been axed again this year).
this can't be good for the georgia/panhandle state border versace cocktail dress war.
this can't be good for the georgia/panhandle state border versace cocktail dress war.
more on morons
and we continue:
viva la slit. vi-va-la-slit! that looks hot!
you know what they say...the family that does sit ups together, stays together.
look at that dress!
--she can really pull that off!
her mom looks hot, too!
if a leg pops out of a really high slit, alex (barry) likes it.
she is workin' it! look at her lookin at that crowd lookin at her in that dress!
her father has to be so proud!
--especially of that classy, classy gown.
oh goodie
barry and jlo jr. are commenting again:
the first thing you'll notice about her is her teeth.
wherever her father is, i'm sure he's looking down on her and saying, "that's my daughter..."
i love the train...
--is that what that's called?
--that's a train
--i thought a train was a choo choo
now if i can play a little fashion man, that's the way to accessorize simple black.
new hampshire has never won a ms. america title
--ever?
--ever.
is this a fashion term? she looks hot! look at that!
are you ready
for the glamorous evening wear competition?
i hear madonna and britney are going to seranade them, pausing for intermittent butterfly and eskimo kisses.
i hear madonna and britney are going to seranade them, pausing for intermittent butterfly and eskimo kisses.
oh
i thought the governor of new jersey was tony soprano.
maybe's he's just the mayor of atlantic city.
gov. mcGravy (which i thought was a condiment only available at the golden arches during thanskgiving) just bragged on bruce springsteen being from jersey.
yeah, never heard that before. but you'd have thought they'd be able to find a more recent picture than his senior high year book photo.
i didn't realize this was a big pitch for tourism.
if he only knew he had me at the cher solo.
maybe's he's just the mayor of atlantic city.
gov. mcGravy (which i thought was a condiment only available at the golden arches during thanskgiving) just bragged on bruce springsteen being from jersey.
yeah, never heard that before. but you'd have thought they'd be able to find a more recent picture than his senior high year book photo.
i didn't realize this was a big pitch for tourism.
if he only knew he had me at the cher solo.
crud
i missed who won the speedo challenge.
now i'm as in the dark as the rest of the schleps in the audience.
now i'm as in the dark as the rest of the schleps in the audience.
sung to the tune of she wore an itsy bitsy teen weeny yellow polka-dot bikini
is anyone really entertained by their choreography?
oklahoma...she looks fit.
wisconsin...her, too.
florida...doesn't seem out of shape.
hawaii...her either.
new hampshire...appears healthy (though she doesn't stand a chance since she chose to wear a one piece).
california...yep, not obese.
rhode island...doesn't need to skip a meal.
indiana...not a candidate for "extreme makeover."
virginia...no visible flab (though she looked like she's about to fall over).
maryland...she'd pass a cursory physical. i wonder if barry thinks she's still sassy?
this was all about physical fitness, wasn't it?
they shouldn't make them wear those clear plastic high heels (although I thought I saw David Blaine trying to live 44 days inside of ms. newhampshire's spiked left pump). they should either go bare-foot or wear neon orange flip-flops.
oklahoma...she looks fit.
wisconsin...her, too.
florida...doesn't seem out of shape.
hawaii...her either.
new hampshire...appears healthy (though she doesn't stand a chance since she chose to wear a one piece).
california...yep, not obese.
rhode island...doesn't need to skip a meal.
indiana...not a candidate for "extreme makeover."
virginia...no visible flab (though she looked like she's about to fall over).
maryland...she'd pass a cursory physical. i wonder if barry thinks she's still sassy?
this was all about physical fitness, wasn't it?
they shouldn't make them wear those clear plastic high heels (although I thought I saw David Blaine trying to live 44 days inside of ms. newhampshire's spiked left pump). they should either go bare-foot or wear neon orange flip-flops.
the casual wear winner
ms. maryland....
and barry Seingold said, "if you thought that was sassy, just wait for swimwear."
that'll be sweet sassy-mo-lassy!
(apologies to ray ramano's sportscenter character).
and barry Seingold said, "if you thought that was sassy, just wait for swimwear."
that'll be sweet sassy-mo-lassy!
(apologies to ray ramano's sportscenter character).
still on the island
oklahoma
wisconsin
florida
hawaii
new hampshire
california
rhode island
indiana
virginia
maryland
the five losers have to go a date with opie aiken....
...sorry ladies, thems the risks.
wisconsin
florida
hawaii
new hampshire
california
rhode island
indiana
virginia
maryland
the five losers have to go a date with opie aiken....
...sorry ladies, thems the risks.
wood panel-ing
just met the judges.
quite an esteemed crowd.
although i only recognized ms. greta. and ms. america '94
i wonder if i can vote for her?
quite an esteemed crowd.
although i only recognized ms. greta. and ms. america '94
i wonder if i can vote for her?
and after that debacle
i'm still banking on oklahoma.
after all, she was bold enough to wear a retro jacket with a white top.
i admire fashion boldness in my ms. americas.
after all, she was bold enough to wear a retro jacket with a white top.
i admire fashion boldness in my ms. americas.
i'm not making this up
from the "i-cant-believe-they-just-said-that" file:
oh, so that's why they have commentators. to arm the smarmy army with a full arsenal of ammunition.
mission accomplished.
she's sassy!
she's workin' it!
smart, and she looks good in jeans.
she does something oprah does...she writes in her journal twice a week. I love that top!
no, it messes up her 'do.
she grew up in a town of only 5000, yet she has a whole "sex in the city" look going. She removed the scarf. that's brave!
look at how great her outfit is..she's just trying to say "this is me, i'm in my casual clothes, and by the way, hawaii rocks.
i have a lot of respect for a girl who wants to be a drag car driver
it's your birthday, it's your birthday!
that doesn't look casual to me, but she's still lookin hot!
i love the twirls. she's workin it!
tina is mighty mighty impressive. she's only 22 and has already graduated from medical school. that's better than doogie howser.
oh, so that's why they have commentators. to arm the smarmy army with a full arsenal of ammunition.
mission accomplished.
this is bad
the casual wear thing is under way.
i personally think this is more degrading than the swimsuit element.
i personally think this is more degrading than the swimsuit element.
whoa!
ms. america-emeritus managed to evade my radar for the entire year. i guess that's because i wasn't scanning for her. i must have missed the competition last year, because i'm surprised at how plain-jane she appears.
but i'm sure she's beautiful on the inside.
hm. she wants to be president some day.
billary is not going to be happy about this development.
but i'm sure she's beautiful on the inside.
hm. she wants to be president some day.
billary is not going to be happy about this development.
my early choice
ms. oklahoma. though she scared me a bit when she actually dead-lifted ms. wisconsin in a celebratory bear hug.
a question and a comment from my bride
as she caught me typing away:
"what are you? a 14-year-old girl?"
"oh, bryan, i'm embarrassed for you."
"what are you? a 14-year-old girl?"
"oh, bryan, i'm embarrassed for you."
taking inventory
missouri
michigan
virginia
indiana
maryland
rhode island
california
florida
(c'mon colorado)....
alabama
hawaii
new hampshire
georgia (ugh!)
oklahoma
wisconsin
new jersey
rest of you....thanks for playing. you'll receive your box of rice-a-roni and the Ms. America home-version board game for your efforts.
michigan
virginia
indiana
maryland
rhode island
california
florida
(c'mon colorado)....
alabama
hawaii
new hampshire
georgia (ugh!)
oklahoma
wisconsin
new jersey
rest of you....thanks for playing. you'll receive your box of rice-a-roni and the Ms. America home-version board game for your efforts.
oh yeah...
don't you know i realize how pathetic i am commenting on the MAC, in basically real-time. it's just that i can't seem to stop myself.
questions for mr. aiken
who's your target audience? i don't know of any gals who think you're hot. but i do know a lot of fiddy-something's who'd love to set you up with a granddaughter, or just spend time with you, chatting over a pot of tea.
who recommended the look that says "i'm a 16-year-old wearing my confirmation suit, getting ready for the school-wide talent show?"
who knew the Opie Cunningham-battling-puberty vibe would turn out to be so popular to the people?
all this aside...good pipes.
who recommended the look that says "i'm a 16-year-old wearing my confirmation suit, getting ready for the school-wide talent show?"
who knew the Opie Cunningham-battling-puberty vibe would turn out to be so popular to the people?
all this aside...good pipes.
saturday night live...well, kinda
i've spent the majority of the day working on my library...pruning it down, so to speak.
labor intensive, but I've reduced my inventory by about three boxes (which for me, given how I loathe to part with a book, is quite an accomplishment).
The CU Buffs got creamed today. it was close for a half.
you know you're an optimist when you look for gass-is-half-full-isms amidst a 422-7 drubbing.
now, the ms. america competition is on.
usually, kelli and i watch this and comment snidely.
i'm sure that will come soon.
observations thus far:
that tom guy running the show sure has found a way to build a career, such as it is.
ms. colorado is a Broncos cheerleader. guess for whom i root?
ms. georgia....maybe next year.
ms. utah...she goes to byu. whooda thought?
ms. texas is everything you'd expect from a ms. texas.
there's 47 other contestants and i'm up to my neck in commentaries. so that's the best i can do so far.
although there is a 'casual wear' component. you know, they said tonight would be a whole new level of exciting, but this exceeds even my highest hopes.
also, we'll get regular break-ins from Ryan and Trista (who have returned to be the object of my adoration now that bennifer has experienced mitosis). there's nothing like watching someone watch what you're watching to make some good television. methinks ms. trista is pulling a buergeron and trying to manufacture a career of herownsies.
LATER: do we really need color commentators for this? and who are these two? some guy who kinda resembles jerry seinfeld in a dimly-lit room, and a gal who has the good fortune of sharing a surname with jennie from the block (wow...only like 20,000 other Hispanics can claim that). maybe this is abc's low-rent version of bennifer.
i just hope they have a telestrator, for when ms. iowa's baton bounces off her noggin and lands in the third row.
labor intensive, but I've reduced my inventory by about three boxes (which for me, given how I loathe to part with a book, is quite an accomplishment).
The CU Buffs got creamed today. it was close for a half.
you know you're an optimist when you look for gass-is-half-full-isms amidst a 422-7 drubbing.
now, the ms. america competition is on.
usually, kelli and i watch this and comment snidely.
i'm sure that will come soon.
observations thus far:
that tom guy running the show sure has found a way to build a career, such as it is.
ms. colorado is a Broncos cheerleader. guess for whom i root?
ms. georgia....maybe next year.
ms. utah...she goes to byu. whooda thought?
ms. texas is everything you'd expect from a ms. texas.
there's 47 other contestants and i'm up to my neck in commentaries. so that's the best i can do so far.
although there is a 'casual wear' component. you know, they said tonight would be a whole new level of exciting, but this exceeds even my highest hopes.
also, we'll get regular break-ins from Ryan and Trista (who have returned to be the object of my adoration now that bennifer has experienced mitosis). there's nothing like watching someone watch what you're watching to make some good television. methinks ms. trista is pulling a buergeron and trying to manufacture a career of herownsies.
LATER: do we really need color commentators for this? and who are these two? some guy who kinda resembles jerry seinfeld in a dimly-lit room, and a gal who has the good fortune of sharing a surname with jennie from the block (wow...only like 20,000 other Hispanics can claim that). maybe this is abc's low-rent version of bennifer.
i just hope they have a telestrator, for when ms. iowa's baton bounces off her noggin and lands in the third row.
coming apart at the seams
its good to see our bloggers make it through the storm. 25 people didn't.
here's the latest photo.
here's the latest photo.
ok...this is incredible
thanks to jwalk ("terrafly" if permalink isn't working), i just went to this site, where I could type in an address...anywhere in the country and it would take me to a satellite image of that address, and I could fly all around, and view the world with amazing detail.
i went to my current residence and flew the entire commute to my work.
i went to my parents home and saw good enough detail that i could make out their home, their garage, and the areas where I shot my first deer, where i used to camp as a kid, and did the birds-eye flight into town.
you have a limited amount of flight without a subscription, but what you can see will amaze you.
oh, and if you don't have high speed, you might as well not even try it.
i went to my current residence and flew the entire commute to my work.
i went to my parents home and saw good enough detail that i could make out their home, their garage, and the areas where I shot my first deer, where i used to camp as a kid, and did the birds-eye flight into town.
you have a limited amount of flight without a subscription, but what you can see will amaze you.
oh, and if you don't have high speed, you might as well not even try it.
9/19/2003
passion in the face of tragedy
little tiny lies extols the wisdom behind canoeing during hurricanes and other similar endeavors.
just say no to peanut butter & banana sandiches
elvis at 68
God bless computers. now there's virtually no chance of getting restful, dreamless slumber this night.
God bless computers. now there's virtually no chance of getting restful, dreamless slumber this night.
skits-ophrenia
Greg & Ricky have opined on the greatest skits from SNL. I agree with most of theirs.
Here, though, are my favorite guest performances on the storied show (not in order).
1. Nick Cage choosing baby names with his wife.
2. Joe Pesci trying on pinky rings.
3. Jim Carrey as the hot tub life guard.
4. Kevin Spacey as Chris Walken auditioning for Star Wars.
5. Chris Walken as "The Continental"
6. Danny DeVito with Simon in the tub
7. Patrick Swayze & Chris Farley dancing for the last Chippendales slot.
8. Charles Barkley v. Barney
9. Nicole Kidman & Philip at the playground
10. Anything with Steve Martin
11. Anything with Andy Kauffman
12. Al Gore in the hot tub with his running mates, a la "the bachelor"
13. Ray Ramano doing Sports Center
14. Renee Zelwegger on "A Wedding Story"
15. Jerry Seinfeld meets "Oz"
16. "The Rock" as Mr. Peepers' Daddy
17. Ben Stiller as Tom Cruise on Celebrity Jeopardy
worst performances:
1. Nancy Kerrigan
2. Deion Sanders
3. Nia Vardalos
4. John McCain
5. Jennifer Lopez
i know there's more...now its your turn
Here, though, are my favorite guest performances on the storied show (not in order).
1. Nick Cage choosing baby names with his wife.
2. Joe Pesci trying on pinky rings.
3. Jim Carrey as the hot tub life guard.
4. Kevin Spacey as Chris Walken auditioning for Star Wars.
5. Chris Walken as "The Continental"
6. Danny DeVito with Simon in the tub
7. Patrick Swayze & Chris Farley dancing for the last Chippendales slot.
8. Charles Barkley v. Barney
9. Nicole Kidman & Philip at the playground
10. Anything with Steve Martin
11. Anything with Andy Kauffman
12. Al Gore in the hot tub with his running mates, a la "the bachelor"
13. Ray Ramano doing Sports Center
14. Renee Zelwegger on "A Wedding Story"
15. Jerry Seinfeld meets "Oz"
16. "The Rock" as Mr. Peepers' Daddy
17. Ben Stiller as Tom Cruise on Celebrity Jeopardy
worst performances:
1. Nancy Kerrigan
2. Deion Sanders
3. Nia Vardalos
4. John McCain
5. Jennifer Lopez
i know there's more...now its your turn
but then again
after reading some of the other answers to the friday five, i've just discovered something...
it appears that there are many, many people downloading music copyrighted for sale.
maybe someone ought to look into it.
it appears that there are many, many people downloading music copyrighted for sale.
maybe someone ought to look into it.
f2r2i3d4a5y
1. Who is your favorite singer/musician? Why?
neil diamond. if its not obvious why, then it should be.
2. What one singer/musician can you not stand? Why?
there are many, really. but the unholy trinity are babs, cher, and celine. moby ranks high, too.
3. If your favorite singer wasn't in the music business, do you think you would still like him/her as a person?
i guess so. hadn't ever thought about it.
4. Have you been to any concerts? If yes, who put on the best show?
my concert history is thus:
1st concert -- 1987 -- Def Leppard Hysteria.
After that, i've been to concerts by ACDC, Van Halen, Guns-n-Roses & Metallica, and Lollapalooza (1st year). Have I mentioned that i used to be a bit of a metalhead?
5. What are your thoughts on downloading free music online vs. purchasing albums? Do you feel the RIAA is right in its pursuit to stop people from dowloading free music?
I'm no authority, just can offer my anecdotal evidence. I ended up buying every album Chris Rice ever made after downloading a couple of his songs, so he's benefitted by my "piracy." I understand that there are abuses out there, but the RIAA may win the battle and still lose the war through the tactic of litigating against 12 year-olds and retirees. Greed is an ugly, ugly beast indeed.
neil diamond. if its not obvious why, then it should be.
2. What one singer/musician can you not stand? Why?
there are many, really. but the unholy trinity are babs, cher, and celine. moby ranks high, too.
3. If your favorite singer wasn't in the music business, do you think you would still like him/her as a person?
i guess so. hadn't ever thought about it.
4. Have you been to any concerts? If yes, who put on the best show?
my concert history is thus:
1st concert -- 1987 -- Def Leppard Hysteria.
After that, i've been to concerts by ACDC, Van Halen, Guns-n-Roses & Metallica, and Lollapalooza (1st year). Have I mentioned that i used to be a bit of a metalhead?
5. What are your thoughts on downloading free music online vs. purchasing albums? Do you feel the RIAA is right in its pursuit to stop people from dowloading free music?
I'm no authority, just can offer my anecdotal evidence. I ended up buying every album Chris Rice ever made after downloading a couple of his songs, so he's benefitted by my "piracy." I understand that there are abuses out there, but the RIAA may win the battle and still lose the war through the tactic of litigating against 12 year-olds and retirees. Greed is an ugly, ugly beast indeed.
do you smell something?
david blaine, amidst his quest to live 44 days sans food, in a box. above a river.
apparently, matt foley was his inspiration.
i remember turning away in olfactory horror after leaving sweat socks in my football locker over a weekend. i can only imagine what his plasticene cubicle is going to smell like when his lid is popped.
the general vibe i'm getting from his lettest effort at shameless self-promotion is annoyance, not awe.
on a related note, even Paul McCartney is ashamed of being seen in his midst. The aging crooner was later reported to have stated, "i was just looking for the source of the odor that resembled fetid cabbage. there was no need for a photograph."
read this
from Dick Morris, former advisor to President Clinton, writes about the risks associated with how we, despite all our cries to "NEVER FORGET," are sadly....forgetting.
mikey's wisdom
C&P:
This is a story about a little girl who, on the way home from church, turned to her mother and said, "Mommy, the Preacher's sermon this morning confused me."
The mother said, "Oh! Why is that?"
The girl replied, "Well, he said that God is bigger than we are. Is that true?"
"Yes, that's true," the mother replied.
"He also said that God lives within us. Is that true, too?"
Again the mother replied, "Yes."
"Well," said the girl. "If God is bigger than us and He lives in us, wouldn't He show through?"
this boat aint big enough for the two of us
despite the cowboy-like statement of the title, its a nod to Christopher, who reminded me that to day is National Talk Like A Pirate Day.
According to the "official site," my pirate personality is:
You are The Cap'n!
What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!
and here is my pirate name and profile:
to assist you in the successful pirate-mandatory conversation of the day, the site provides a primer as well as a translator.
so, get busy swabbin t'decks ya' scurvy dogs, and plug up yer bung holes to keep t'rats from makin' merry.
According to the "official site," my pirate personality is:
You are The Cap'n!
Some men are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any man that stands between them and the mantle of power. You never met a man you couldn't eviscerate. Not that mindless violence is the only avenue open to you - but why take an avenue when you have complete freeway access? You are the definitive Man of Action. You are James Bond in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. Your swash was buckled long ago and you have never been so sure of anything in your life as in your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off their head if they show any sign of taking you on or backing down. You cannot be saddled with tedious underlings, but if one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones' locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.
What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!
and here is my pirate name and profile:
Captain Sam Vane
Even though there's no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes you're the one in charge. You tend to blend into the background occaisionally, but that's okay, because it's much easier to sneak up on people and disembowel them that way. Arr!
to assist you in the successful pirate-mandatory conversation of the day, the site provides a primer as well as a translator.
so, get busy swabbin t'decks ya' scurvy dogs, and plug up yer bung holes to keep t'rats from makin' merry.
9/18/2003
impressive, no?
recording history
US News & World Report has published a list of the 100 most influential documents in US history.
my blog didn't make the list.
observations:
- no document within the last nearly-40 years. I'd say the Roe-v.-Wade decision should have been included, as it has impacted so many millions of lives.
- its impressive and overwhelming to look at a centalogue of documentation to see how God has blessed our nation in such a short period of time. This compendium should leave no doubt in the mind that a democratic republic indeed is superior to any other form of government and civilization.
- while it was significant to me, it was right for the editors to exclude the Daily Press article about our basketball teams league championship my senior year in high school.
my blog didn't make the list.
observations:
- no document within the last nearly-40 years. I'd say the Roe-v.-Wade decision should have been included, as it has impacted so many millions of lives.
- its impressive and overwhelming to look at a centalogue of documentation to see how God has blessed our nation in such a short period of time. This compendium should leave no doubt in the mind that a democratic republic indeed is superior to any other form of government and civilization.
- while it was significant to me, it was right for the editors to exclude the Daily Press article about our basketball teams league championship my senior year in high school.
humor by design
c&p forwarded by my brother-in-law, an engineer who designs highways and bridges in the Houston area;
Q: When does a person decide to become an engineer?
A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to be an undertaker.
Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer?
A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.
Q: Why did the engineers cross the road?
A: Because they looked in the file and that's what they did last year.
Q: How do you drive an engineer completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a road map the wrong way.
* Comprehending Engineers-Take One
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
"The second engineer nodded approvingly, 'Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
* Comprehending Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
*Comprehending Engineers-Take Three
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."
"Hi George. say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
*Comprehending Engineers-Take Four
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
*Comprehending Engineers-Take Five
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
*Comprehending Engineers-Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
*Comprehending Engineers-Take Seven
"Normal people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet."
profiling by your sleep number
kdeweb points to a cnn report of a study that profiles you by how you sleep.
according to this, i am easy going and unassuming.
hey, whatever they say.
according to this, i am easy going and unassuming.
hey, whatever they say.
when science and culture converge
many of you bloggers have commented on the recent study that says the human mind can make sense of jumbled words, as long as the first and last letters are in the correct location.
and suddenly, we have a popular, scandalous scent for women.
cioncdinece? I tihnk not.
cam edwards alerted me to the odor.
UPDATE: while blogging on SNL's greatest, I came across this photo that i couldn't find but fit perfectly:
and suddenly, we have a popular, scandalous scent for women.
cioncdinece? I tihnk not.
cam edwards alerted me to the odor.
UPDATE: while blogging on SNL's greatest, I came across this photo that i couldn't find but fit perfectly:
wild at heart controversy
the following is a looong, but very worthwhile, read. it is a critical review of the outrageously popular book by john eldredge Wild at Heart. This book is a good read, and it has popularized the author to the top of the Christian markets. If you've read the book, you need to read this review, then make up your own mind.
I know of state-wide and nation-wide entities that have built models of events and ministries around this book. Would they, upon critical review, be so bold as to change the course of action? I don't know. My own aim for presenting this is not to get people to bail on Eldredge. I agree with many of his premises of his work -- the love for adventure, the need for significance. But I also agree with mr. Wingerd, who in turn agrees with men I hold in very high esteem -- Spurgeon, Muller, Edwards. My heart, though I am a regenerated, born again, spirit child of God -- is indeed wicked and fleshly. On its own, it cannot be trusted. Truly, in this sense, I am wild at heart. Accordingly, I must be renewed by the transformation of my mind, through my faith in the Christ, Jesus of Nazareth. Only then, will I be equipped to pursue the bold adventure determined for me before the foundation of time.
A Critical Review of the Book, Wild at Heart, by John Eldredge
Review by Daryl Wingerd
Eldredge, John. Wild at Heart. Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2001 (Spirituality/Christian living; 222 pages; hardcover; suggested retail price, $19.99).
John Eldredge's book Wild at Heart was recommended to me by several different Christians. To be honest, reading this book was not high on my list of priorities, but the people who recommended it to me are very dear and trusted friends. Partly out of respect for them, and partly out of my pastoral sense of obligation to "Test all things; hold fast what is good," I made the time to review what Charles R. Swindoll endorsed as, "the best, most insightful book I have read in at least the last five years."
From the outset, you will undoubtedly notice that my review of Wild at Heart is overwhelmingly unfavorable. There would be no point in tempting you to read this entire essay by leading you to believe otherwise. But still, I want to begin by saying that I do not disagree with everything John Eldredge has to say. I believe, as he does, that men in America have become passive, passionless, and even feminized in some regards. I commend his efforts to convince fathers to steer their boys in a more masculine direction.
Like Eldredge, I am drawn to adventure, excitement, and even danger. In my fourteen years as a Los Angeles County Deputy Sheriff (1986-2000), I found that I was most alive and at my best when duty called me into hostile situations, from which the ordinary wise civilian would flee. Cops, firefighters, and soldiers are a little strange that way. I love maps. I love to explore. I am an outdoorsman and a hunter who, in my late thirties, has found neither the time, the money, nor the energy to pursue these activities as much as I would like. One of my favorite stores is the giant Cabela's outlet near Kansas City.
I have a six-year-old son, and three daughters. I want my son to be a real man. I want him to be different from his sisters. I expect that he will be more aggressive, more physical in his play, and dirtier when he comes in at the end of the day. I want him to be brave, noble, adventurous, and yes, just a little daring. These are qualities I try to encourage in him and model for him (often to the chagrin of my loving and patient wife).
So for those of you who have read Wild at Heart, you can see that I do find at least some common ground with John Eldredge. But once these few footholds of common ground are established, we part company almost completely. From the one page introduction all the way through chapter 12, aside from all the manly man stuff, I found little to commend.
As I write, I am aware of the fact that this book is wildly popular in many Christian circles. Some who will read this review are undoubtedly fans of John Eldredge and of his books. Speaking to those fans, I ask you this: Knowing already that my review will be critical, will you read what I have to say? I hope you will, because if you find that my critique of John Eldredge's book is off the mark, you will have lost nothing but a few minutes of time. But if you find that the problems I point out are real and serious problems, then I believe you will agree that it was time well spent.
My purpose in the next few pages is not to examine Wild at Heart under a microscope. I am certain that many popular books could be painted in a negative light under such close scrutiny. My purpose here is to address three major problems—ones for which no microscope was needed. I want to focus on these three problems because they not only appear throughout the book, they characterize the book.
Simply stated, the problems are as follows: First, Eldredge mishandles Scripture badly. Second, the central theme of the book is not consistent with the teaching of the Bible. Third, Eldredge conveys a low, humanistic, and even heretical view of God. If I can demonstrate that these three problems do, in fact, characterize Wild at Heart, I will have done all I intended to do, and you will have something to think about.
Problem #1: Recklessly Dividing the Word of Truth
In his introduction, Eldredge says, "Most messages for men ultimately fail." "The reason is simple," he writes. "They ignore what is deep and true to a man's heart, his real passions, and simply try to shape him up through various forms of pressure." Needless to say, I wondered what new message he was offering men. Within the first few pages it became abundantly clear. Chapter one opens with the following quotation from Proverbs 20 verse 5: "The heart of a man is like deep water . . ."
As I read the first chapter I discovered that what men need, in Eldredge's estimation, is to find their hearts. On page 3 he writes, "I am searching for an even more elusive prey . . . something that can only be found through the help of wilderness. I am looking for my heart." On page 6—"If a man is ever to find out who he is and what he is here for, he has got to take that journey for himself. He has got to get his heart back." And then on page 8—"The church wags its head and wonders why it can't get more men to sign up for its programs. The answer is simply this: We have not invited a man to know and live from his own deep heart."
I now understood the relevance of Proverbs 20:5 (according to Eldredge). Since the heart of man is deep and elusive, men need help understanding their hearts better. They need to learn to live according to the true desires and motivations of that heart if they are to find true fulfillment—if they are to be all God intended them to be. It would be difficult to argue that this is not the central theme of the book.
And this is where I noticed the first major problem—Eldredge's consistent mishandling of Scripture. I am not speaking here of his interpretations of Scripture. I take issue with the manner in which he handles certain biblical texts. To say the least, he takes Scripture out of context. But even worse, he actually edits Scripture to make it suit his purpose and affirm his teachings. Proverbs 20:5 does not say what Eldredge claims it says. Now I know you're expecting me to pull out some deeper understanding of the original Hebrew and call Eldredge's scholarship into question, but I didn't need to go to that much trouble. All I had to do was open my Bible—my NKJV Bible—the version from which Eldredge said he had quoted.
His quote reads like this: "The heart of a man is like deep water . . ." The meaning of the sentence, as quoted by Eldredge, is that the subject "heart" is described and explained by the adjective phrase, "like deep water." The heart is like deep water, Eldredge claims. But the NKJ text actually reads like this: "Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water." In the biblical text, the subject of the sentence is not "heart," but rather, "Counsel." The simile, "like deep water," refers to the subject, "Counsel," not to the object of the prepositional phrase, "in the heart of man." So the Bible teaches us that counsel is like deep water.
To conclude and teach, as John Eldredge does, that "The heart of a man is like deep water," especially when his quotation of the verse capitalizes the first word as if it were actually the beginning of the sentence, is not to merely misinterpret the meaning of the text; it is to change and misrepresent the meaning of the text. This would not all be quite so serious if he had not built the entire theme of chapter one (and really, the whole book) on the meaning of his edited version of Proverbs 20:5. Another passage of Scripture with which John Eldredge takes unjustified liberty is the beginning of Genesis. On pages 213-214, in describing Adam's relationship with God, Eldredge includes this commentary on the creation account. "Before the moment of Adam's greatest trial God provided no step-by-step plan, gave no formula for how he was to handle the whole mess. That was not abandonment; that was the way God honored Adam. You are a man; you don't need Me to hold you by the hand through this. You have what it takes. "
Such a statement not only reveals Eldredge's highly imaginative interpretation of the beginning of Genesis, it also reeks of humanism (man-centered thinking) and is even suggestive of Pelagianism (a centuries-old, but still popular heresy which tells mankind basically what Eldredge portrays God saying here to Adam— "you have what it takes" to deal with the consequences of your sin).
I was also fascinated when I learned what Eldredge says went wrong in the first place—how man's (deep) heart got lost, and why men feel the need to find it. I was disturbed to find that it didn't seem to have anything to do with sin. His understanding of the problem could be summarized like this: Eve (woman) is perfectly happy being domesticated because she was created inside the Garden of Eden. Adam (man) on the other hand, has always felt restless. He has always had this inner need for adventure, exploration, danger, etc.
Why does man have this need? Eldredge explains on pages 3 and 4: "Man was born in the outback, from the untamed part of creation. Only afterward is he brought to Eden. And ever since then boys have never been at home indoors, and men have had an insatiable longing to explore . . . The core of a man's heart is undomesticated and that is good. "
Do you hear what he is saying? Adam was better off—more suited to his environment— before God brought him to (or confined him in) the Garden of Eden. If Eldredge is right, then in a way it seems that God cursed Adam before he sinned. He took him out of the environment in which he would have been fulfilled, and placed him in an environment that would repress his deepest inner longings. And when Adam sinned—when he was kicked out of the garden—he actually got what he wanted. What the Bible portrays as a curse was really a blessing to Adam.
One more example worth mentioning, though not directly related to the central theme of the book, is Eldredge's treatment of Luke 8:26-33—Luke's account of Jesus' encounter with the demoniac of the Gerasenes tombs. In using this passage of Scripture to illustrate the need for vigorous resistance to spiritual oppression, Eldredge writes, " . . . when [Jesus] encounters the guy who lives out in the Gerasenes tombs, tormented by a legion of spirits, the first rebuke by Jesus doesn't work. He had to get more information, really take them on . . . "
This explanation of the encounter, found on page 166, certainly affirms Eldredge's point, but once you read the biblical text for yourself, you should understand just how ridiculous (if not blasphemous) it really is. Even a cursory reading of Luke 8:26-33 will convince you that these demons never resisted, or even questioned Jesus' first (and only) rebuke. In fact, the whole dialogue between Jesus and the demons took place precisely because they knew exactly who He was, and they knew they had no choice but to obey His command.
For those who think the liberties Eldredge takes with these biblical texts is acceptable, I remind you of Peter's words regarding the holy Scriptures " which untaught and unstable people twist to their own destruction . . . " (2 Peter 3:16). Peter was referring directly to the distortion of some of the difficult portions of Paul's epistles, but he concludes that sentence by saying, " . . . as they do also the rest of the Scriptures" (including Genesis, Proverbs, and Luke).
Problem #2: Whitewashing the Human Heart
The second major problem is with Eldredge's main point—the core of the message he hopes to get across to Christian men. While inviting them to "know and live from" their deep hearts (pg. 8), Eldredge seems to have forgotten (or else he doesn't really believe) that the preeminent thing that comes out of the human heart is sin. Jesus said, "What comes out of a man, that defiles a man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed [all kinds of wickedness] . . . All these evil things come from within and defile a man" (Mark 7:20-23).
Eldredge's central message also argues with Jeremiah who wrote, "The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked" (Jeremiah 17:9). Jeremiah's condemnation is immediately followed by his rhetorical question regarding the heart of man: "Who can know it?" The answer, assumed by the question and supplied in verse 10, is that only the Lord can search the heart of man and know it. Nevertheless, the message to men in Wild at Heart is that they should "know and live from" their deep hearts.
Later in the book Eldredge seems to think he has found a loophole in Jeremiah's negative portrayal of the human heart when he denies the notion that the human heart remains corrupt after regeneration. On pages 133-134 he writes, "Too many Christians today are living back in the old covenant. They've had Jeremiah 17:9 drilled into them and they walk around believing my heart is deceitfully wicked. Not anymore it's not." On pg. 144, he continues this idea when he writes, "The Big Lie in the church today is that you are nothing more than a 'sinner saved by grace.' You are a lot more than that. You are a new creation in Christ. The New Testament calls you a saint, a holy one, a son of God."
When I first read this section, I was forced to carefully think through what Eldredge was saying. There is some truth in what he says. We are new creations in Christ. We have been given new hearts. We have been given new desires, new loves, and a new distaste for sin. The New Testament does call us saints. So what are my objections to his teaching here?
First, on pages 143-145, as a means of absolving the regenerate human heart of any sinfulness, Eldredge creates an unwarranted distinction between "the real you" (your heart) and "the false self" (the flesh). Basing his divided man on one verse of Scripture (Romans 7:20, NLT—"I am not really the one doing it; the sin within me is doing it"), Eldredge writes, "your flesh is a weasel, a poser, and a selfish pig . . .Your flesh is not the real you" (pg. 144). In the same section, he paints a far more flattering portrait of "the real you" (the heart): "You are not your sin . . . Your heart is good . . . In the core of your being you are a good man" (pg. 144). "The real you is on the side of God against the false self" (pg. 145).
I recognize that Christians are in an ongoing battle against the flesh. What I do not recognize, and what certainly cannot be drawn from the Scriptures, is such a clear dichotomy between the flesh and the heart. In fact, whenever Scripture mentions such a battle, or any kind of distinction in that battle, it is between the flesh and the Spirit (Romans 8:1, 4, 5, 9, 13; Galatians 5:17).
I understand, especially in light of Romans 7:17-23, that there is a certain degree of mystery regarding the exact nature and relationship of the terms flesh and heart. The problem, though, is not the presence of the mystery. The problem is that John Eldredge thinks he has solved it. He so boldly declares the regenerate heart to be good—God's ally in the battle against the evil flesh—that the unwary reader might rush headlong to follow its dictates. After all, who would not want to follow such a noble leader as the Eldredge version of the regenerate heart?
But before anyone does that, please consider carefully the words of several wise Christian men from our past. Jonathan Edwards, possibly the greatest theologian America has ever known, wrote, " . . . it is a mysterious thing which has puzzled and amazed many a good Christian, that there should be that which is so divine and precious, [namely] the saving grace of God and the new and divine nature, dwelling with so much corruption, hypocrisy, and iniquity, in the heart of the same saint."1 Charles Spurgeon, in commenting on Jeremiah 17:9, said, "There is within our nature that which would send the best saint to hell if sovereign grace did not prevent. There is a little hell within the heart of every child of God . . ."2 And George Muller—the beloved preacher of the 19th century, in recounting one of the times when he, as a long-time Christian, fell into sinful behavior, said this about the human heart: "If the believing reader does not know much of his own heart and of man's weaknesses, he will scarcely think it possible that, after I had been borne with by the Lord so long, and had received so many mercies at His hands, and had been so fully and freely pardoned through the blood of Jesus, which I both knew from His word, and had also enjoyed; and after that I had been in such various ways engaged in the work of the Lord; I should have been once more guilty of great backsliding, and that at the very time when the hand of God was lying heavily upon me. Oh! how desperately wicked is the human heart."3 In portraying the regenerate human heart the way he does—in teaching men that they should "know and live from" that heart, Eldredge certainly seeks to refute what these men have said.
He also completely ignores two other important facts: Scripture never glorifies the heart the way he does, and nowhere does the Bible advise or encourage Christians to trust, or "live from" even their regenerate hearts. On the contrary, the eternal wisdom of Proverbs 28:26 tells us that "He who trusts in his own heart is a fool."
Consistently in the New Testament, we are commanded to live, not from our hearts, but rather by the Spirit of God as He directs our lives through the Word of God. In telling the Christian man to "know and live from" his deep heart, Eldredge, even if unintentionally, minimizes the necessity of the Holy Spirit and denies the sufficiency of Scripture. And it is not just by implication that he directs men away from the Spirit and the Word. On page 200, I found this statement: "God is intimately personal with us and he speaks in ways that are peculiar to our own quirky hearts—not just through the Bible, but through the whole creation. To Stasi he speaks through movies. To Craig he speaks through rock and roll…God's word to me comes in many ways—through sunsets and friends and films and music and wilderness and books. But he's got an especially humorous thing going with me and books. I'll be browsing through a secondhand book shop when out of a thousand volumes one will say, 'Pick me up'—just like Augustine in his Confessions. Tolle legge—take up and read."
He goes on to explain how such a message from God came to him through a book (title not given) by an author named Gil Bailie. Bailie related a piece of advice given to him years earlier by a spiritual mentor. The message read like this: "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
I would like to point out first of all that when Augustine heard children chanting the words, "Tolle legge," (take up and read) the book that he was moved to read was the Bible—Romans 13:14 to be exact.
Secondly, the words given to Bailie, and then through his book, to Eldredge, are hardly biblical. They seem to encourage self-fulfillment—not the appropriate kind that seeks personal fulfillment in Christ, but rather the selfish kind that opposes the consistent message of self-denial and sacrifice contained in the New Testament.
Nevertheless, another statement, found on page 201, makes it clear that John Eldredge really believed that the words in Bailie's book were a direct message from God: "Reading the counsel given to Bailie I knew it was God speaking to me. It was an invitation to come out of Ur. I set the volume down without turning another page and walked out of that bookstore to find a life worth living."
Apparently he saw no need for prayer or the guidance of the Scriptures in making this life-changing decision. A bit of questionable second-hand advice from a man named Gil Bailie was more than sufficient.
All of this is very bad, but the worst problem with Eldredge's whitewashed understanding of the regenerate human heart is found on page 134. Immediately following his comment about the error of applying Jeremiah 17:9 to the Christian, Eldredge makes this statement: "What God sees when he sees you is the real you, the true you, the man he had in mind when he made you."
Notice that Eldredge is speaking of "the real you" in the present tense. He is talking about right here, right now—not some point in the future. Now listen carefully to the very next sentence, where he poses this question: "How else could [God] give you the white stone with your true name on it?"
To what "white stone" is Eldredge referring? Though he does not give the reference, I'm certain that he was referring to Revelation 2:17 which says, "To him who overcomes I will give some of the hidden manna to eat. And I will give him a white stone, and on the stone a new name written which no one knows except him who receives it." The white stone is given to saints—those who overcome—those whose faith is proven true, and who will spend eternity in heaven.
According to Eldredge, how can you or I get that white stone? What is the only possible way to enter heaven? God must see the purity of your own heart—a heart that is no longer "desperately wicked and deceitful above all things." He must see "the real you, the true you, the man he had in mind when he made you," if he is to grant you entrance into heaven. "How else could he give you the white stone with your true name on it?"
If you do not see the problem here, you may want to study carefully the biblical doctrine of justification. Read Romans chapter 4, where Paul writes of "the blessedness of the man to whom God imputes righteousness apart from works" (v. 6). "Blessed is the man to whom the Lord shall not impute sin" (v. 8).
Imputation is to have something charged or credited to your account. As believers in Christ, our sin was charged to Christ's account, while His righteousness is credited to our account. "For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him" (2 Corinthians 5:21).
When God looks at you—when He justifies you as a Christian—when He accepts you as righteous—what He bases that declaration on is most certainly not "the real you," as Eldredge asserts. God does not justify you on the merits of your regenerate heart. God justifies a person, by grace through faith, on the basis of Christ—on the basis of His death which paid the penalty for sin, and His righteousness by which we are covered or clothed. That is the only way God could give us the white stone.
Martin Luther once said that Christians are like "snow-covered dung." It is only the purity of the covering—the righteousness of Christ—that God sees as the basis of our justification. Does God give you a new heart in regeneration? Yes! Does He then justify you on the basis of that heart as Eldredge claims? Most certainly not! As Paul wrote in Romans 4:5, God "justifies the ungodly." Were it not for that beautiful truth, neither you, nor I would have any hope of heaven.
John Eldredge never does proclaim the gospel in this book. But for those who are familiar with the discussion, his apparent attempt to explain the core doctrine of justification sounds more like the Roman Catholic position—justification through an infused righteousness. Faith is necessary, along with righteousness, Rome insists. But the righteousness required is that of the believer, not the alien righteousness of Christ.
In Rome's view, unless you are actually righteous—unless God sees "the real you" as a good person, you have no hope of heaven. However strongly Rome denies this, in their man-made religious system justification is not granted by God's grace; it is given as a deserved reward. Theirs is not the Christian gospel, but it is the view Eldredge seems to be affirming.
Problem #3: Making God in the Image of Man
John Eldredge's "insight" into the human heart is bad theology. But as early as chapter two, he goes from bad to worse, diving below the murky waters of theological error, and burying himself in the muck of outright heresy. This is what I was referring to on page 3 of this review when I spoke of his "low, humanistic, and even heretical view of God." In order to show you this, let me first quote Eldredge where he writes, on page 32, " . . . for those aware of the discussion, I am not advocating open theism." Why does he insert this disclaimer? What is open theism?
Open theism is a theological heresy, the proponents of which hold that God does not know the future perfectly. God is not omniscient in their view. He is learning day by day, along with us. He is very wise, they say, so He can predict the future very accurately, but He does not know it infallibly, let alone control it.
Just so you understand, this is not a Christian belief. It is not one of those "minor" doctrines. God is a Trinity, He is sovereign, He is righteous, He is omnipotent, and He is omniscient.
To deny God's omniscience is heretical, just as surely as to deny the deity of Christ. John Eldredge says he does not advocate this heretical view, but we must look at the facts.
On page 30, he tells of a wilderness adventure where he was in real danger from grizzly bears. As he thinks of the wildness of the situation, of the possibility and reality of death, he writes, "It then occurred to me that after God made all this, he pronounced it good . . ."
Just a quick note here: In saying this, Eldredge seems to have forgotten that when God pronounced creation "good" (actually He said, "very good" ) a little thing known as the fall of man had not yet occurred, and therefore, death had not entered the world. What God called "very good" did not include the danger of a man being mauled to death by a grizzly bear.
Eldredge continues musing about his predicament when he says, referring to the goodness of this wild and dangerous place, "It is [God's] way of letting us know he rather prefers adventure, danger, risk, the element of surprise."
Now I don't know about you, but when something surprises me, it is because I did not know it was going to happen. When I take a risk, I do not know the outcome. If I were omniscient, there could be no "element of surprise," there could be no "risk." And in case you wonder if I am just picking on one lone statement, consider the following examples where Eldredge promotes the same idea: "God is a person who takes immense risks" (pg. 30). "He did not make Adam and Eve obey Him. He took a risk. A staggering risk, with staggering consequences. He let others into his story, and he lets their choices shape it profoundly" (pg. 31). "God lives in a dynamic relationship with us and with our world" (pg. 31). "As with every relationship, there's a certain amount of unpredictability, and the ever-present likelihood that you'll get hurt" (pg. 32). "God's willingness to risk is just astounding—far beyond what any of us would do were we in his position" (pg. 32).
I couldn't help but chuckle at that last one, because if you really think about Eldredge's view, we are in God's position. We have, at any moment, the ability to surprise God. We have the ability to hurt God. We have the ability to make God's risks become bad ones. In fact, by knowing what we intend to do in the next moment—things that will surprise or hurt God—we know the future better than He does!
Some of the leading proponents of open theism are Clark Pinnock, Richard Rice, John Sanders, William Hasker, and David Basinger. These men have co-authored a book entitled, The Openness of God: A Biblical Challenge to the Traditional Understanding of God, in which we find the following statements: "We believe that the Bible presents an open view of God as living and active, involved in history, relating to us and changing in relation to us." In their view, God "is happy to accept the future as open, not closed." " . . . God cares about us and lets what we do impact Him."4
Do you notice that these statements sound similar to those made by Eldredge? Keep in mind that within the last several years, two votes were taken by the members of ETS (Evangelical Theological Society): one vote declared open theism to be heresy, while the second was the decision to expel several of these men from the organization for their heretical views.5 And as you remember Eldredge's statements about God being a risk-taker, know that John Sanders, who openly advocates open theism, has written a book entitled, The God Who Risks: A Theology of Providence.6
I realize that I cannot know what is in John Eldredge's mind. He may, in fact, not believe what these men believe. But his book will have a prominent place on the bookshelves of many open theists because he promotes, even if out of ignorance or carelessness, their heretical view of God. Wild at Heart will make wonderful devotional reading for those who hold such beliefs. And Eldredge is not finished with his creative but degrading portrait of God. Having re-created God in the image of man by making Him less than omniscient, Eldredge continues in his effort to humanize God by making Him needy. You could easily find yourself feeling sorry for God, if He is anything like Wild at Heart portrays Him. Consider this quote from page 36: "As a counselor and a friend, and especially as a husband, I've been honored to be welcomed into the deep heart of Eve. Often when I am with a woman, I find myself quietly wondering, What is she telling me about God? I know he wants to say something to the world through Eve—what is it? And after years of hearing the heart-cry of women, I am convinced beyond a doubt of this: God wants to be loved. He wants to be a priority to someone. How could we have missed this? From cover to cover, from beginning to end, the cry of God's heart is, 'Why won't you choose me?' It's amazing how humble, how vulnerable God is on this point."
Please forgive me, but I could almost hear a whining tone as I listened to "the cry of God's heart." This understanding of God does not engender feelings of worship as much as pity. And here again, Eldredge removes Scripture from its context in portraying this needy God. He continues the above statement by writing, " 'You will . . . find me, says the Lord, 'when you seek me with all your heart.' (Jer. 29:13). In other words, 'Look for me, pursue me—I want you to pursue me.' Amazing." The only amazing thing I found was that Eldredge discovered all of this information about God, not from Scripture, but from the time he has spent with women.
And what about Jeremiah 29:13? That verse is in the middle of a promise from God to His people—a promise that He will redeem them after seventy years of captivity—a promise that they will seek Him and they will find Him—a promise from the God who knows, declares, and controls the future, even the free choices and actions of people. Jeremiah 29:13 is not, as presented by this book, a pitiful plea from a desperate and lonely God who needs people to seek Him, find Him, and love Him.
Eldredge goes on to tell the reader (pg. 36) that the reason God often delays in answering prayer is because "he wants to talk to us, and sometimes that's the only way to get us to stay and talk to him." If God is as needy as this book presents Him, how did He manage to survive throughout all of eternity past without us? And I can't help but wonder how He feels about Eldredge's statement on page 32: "God needs to get a message out to the human race, without which they will perish . . . forever."
"God needs . . . "?!! Those two words, if they are ever next to each other in a sentence, must be in the reverse order if they are to be true. Mankind needs God "for in Him we live and move and have our being" (Acts 17:28). But to say that God needs anything is to contradict what Scripture says— "as if He needed anything, since He gives to all life, breath, and all things." (Acts 17:25).
I am going to end here. I read the whole book, but 222 pages of humanism, radical Arminianism, open theism, and the bending, stretching, and editing of Scripture was more than enough. There is much more that could and should be exposed regarding John Eldredge's book, but time, and the reasonable length of a book review convince me to stop.
I have learned one important thing from this book. The wild popularity of a book, among the Christian culture of America, even among a large number of pastors, is more often an indicator of superficiality and error than of truth and sound doctrine. Americans want treatment for their itching ears, and this book gives a good scratch.
I am convinced that not so many years ago, when the senses of Christians were "exercised to discern both good and evil" (Hebrews 5:14), Wild at Heart would not have been published by any Christian publisher, much less read by hundreds of thousands of believers.
But our senses have become dull, and for one reason: We have not heeded the warning of Colossians 2:8 in that we are allowing ourselves to be cheated "through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ."
I know that many will argue that there is much good to be found in Wild at Heart—good that outweighs the bad. But for those who feel this way, I have a few questions: If you knew that a glass of pure spring water had one drop of arsenic in it, would you still drink it for the water? Would you give it to a thirsty friend? Shepherds—would you give such water to your sheep?
On the night before He was crucified, Jesus prayed to the Father on behalf of all who would become His followers. His request, found in John 17:17 was this: "Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth." With this in mind, a fair and necessary question to ask yourself is this: Does the counsel given by John Eldredge in Wild at Heart represent the truth of God? Spurgeon once said that truth may be distinguished from error by three standards: "by God, by Christ, and by man; that is, the truth which honors God, the truth which glorifies Christ, and the truth which humbles man." 7
Wild at Heart does none of the above. On the contrary, John Eldredge's book exalts man and puts him in control while at the same time portraying God as humble, vulnerable, needy, and limited in knowledge. Based on the above quotation, it seems certain that Spurgeon would not have affirmed this book as truth.
Not only can I not recommend this book, I feel compelled to warn Christians to keep it away from others, especially from the lost and from the immature believer. Books like Wild at Heart—books that humanize God and glorify man—books that teach a generation of Christian men, already weakened by humanistic philosophy and biblical ignorance, to look anywhere other than the pages of the Bible for guidance—have a seductive appeal to the flesh—a poisoning effect in the already deceitful and desperately wicked heart of man.
If I could say one thing to John Eldredge, it would be this: Contrary to the clear message of your book, the human heart, regenerate or not, does not contain the solution; it contains the problem.
And if I could leave just one reminder with you, the reader, it would be these ancient and sobering words of wisdom: "Error never shows itself in its naked reality, in order not to be discovered. On the contrary, it dresses elegantly, so that the unwary may be led to believe that it is more truthful than truth itself." (Irenaeus of Lyons—2nd Century A.D.)
1 Jonathan Edwards, The Religious Affections (Carlisle, PA: Banner of Truth Trust, 1997), 16.
2 Charles Spurgeon, 2200 Quotations from the Writings of Charles H. Spurgeon (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1988), 253.
3 George Muller, Narratives and Addresses (Muskegon, MI: Dust and Ashes Publications, 2003), 34.
4 Clark Pinnock, Richard Rice, John Sanders, William Hasker, and David Basinger, The Openness of God: A Biblical Challenge to the Traditional Understanding of God (Downers Grove: InterVarsity, 1994), 103-4.
5 Phil Johnson, Are We Losing the Battle For the Bible? (a message delivered at the annual Shepherd's Conference at Grace Community Church, Sun Valley, CA, March, 2003)
6 John Sanders, The God Who Risks: A Theology of Providence (Downers Grove: InterVarsity, 1998).
7 Charles Spurgeon, 2200 Quotations from the Writings of Charles H. Spurgeon (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1988), 211-212.
Copyright © 2003 Daryl Wingerd
Permission granted to copy in full for non-profit use, including all copyright information.
Other uses require written permission.
I know of state-wide and nation-wide entities that have built models of events and ministries around this book. Would they, upon critical review, be so bold as to change the course of action? I don't know. My own aim for presenting this is not to get people to bail on Eldredge. I agree with many of his premises of his work -- the love for adventure, the need for significance. But I also agree with mr. Wingerd, who in turn agrees with men I hold in very high esteem -- Spurgeon, Muller, Edwards. My heart, though I am a regenerated, born again, spirit child of God -- is indeed wicked and fleshly. On its own, it cannot be trusted. Truly, in this sense, I am wild at heart. Accordingly, I must be renewed by the transformation of my mind, through my faith in the Christ, Jesus of Nazareth. Only then, will I be equipped to pursue the bold adventure determined for me before the foundation of time.
9/16/2003
the ideal woman
Kelli will be the first to tell you that she's not perfect. And my aim here is not to discuss her imperfections because i'm no more perfect than is she. but i'll tell this, with each passing day i fall more and more in love with her as i realize what a blessing she is to me and our family.
year after year, especially during that time known as "mother's day" we hear sermons on "The Proverbs 31 woman." We've heard some excellent messages on this theme, and others that are, well, not so excellent. Regardless of the quality of the message, I hear some common themes on these messages: she's industrious, she's committed, she's innovative, she's reverent. And while I love Proverbs 31, and believe that my bride exemplifies the very definition of a godly wife by these standards, I want to just share a "point of order."
I believe the real litmus test of what makes a godly spouse is the indwelling presence of the Lord in that spouse. My love, honor, respect, desire, affection, and attention for my bride is not, nor should ever be, based upon who she is or even how she is. My love for her is not established on her performance. If God's love for me is not established on my performance, it would be extremely hypocritical of me to operate within a different set of standards. My wife is a godly spouse not because of who she is, but who she is in the Christ.
When you evaluate the vows that are exchanged, you have two ways to interpret them. One way (the most common way) is to look at vows as a series of actions, duties and responsibilities. If you determine that your commitments to love, honor, respect, and even obey your spouse are a series of actions, you'll never fulfill them. The other way, however, is to determine that your vows are a code of attitude around which to orient your life. This is only possible to understand and fulfill when one has a reborn, renewed spiritual life given by God through faith in the Christ, Jesus of Nazareth. Why? Because Jesus Himself modeled the marriage vows to His Bride, the church, when He gave Himself sacrificially on the cross to redeem and restore her for eternal union in heaven.
My bride is a gift from God and a joy to my life not because of how she blesses me. it's not because i can count on well-mannered, well-educated, well-attended children (which i can). It's not because i can count on a clean home, great meals, honest interest, and intelligent conversation (again, which i can). It's not because i can count on a desire to excel, a commitment to persevere, or even her deep love of God (which I do). My bride is a gift from God because the resurrected Christ lives within her. He reveals Himself and reproduces Himself through Her. He glorifies Himself through her and by virtue of being in her company, I too am blessed.
the components of Proverbs 31 are exemplified in a Christ-like woman of God. Kelli is a woman after God's own heart.
year after year, especially during that time known as "mother's day" we hear sermons on "The Proverbs 31 woman." We've heard some excellent messages on this theme, and others that are, well, not so excellent. Regardless of the quality of the message, I hear some common themes on these messages: she's industrious, she's committed, she's innovative, she's reverent. And while I love Proverbs 31, and believe that my bride exemplifies the very definition of a godly wife by these standards, I want to just share a "point of order."
I believe the real litmus test of what makes a godly spouse is the indwelling presence of the Lord in that spouse. My love, honor, respect, desire, affection, and attention for my bride is not, nor should ever be, based upon who she is or even how she is. My love for her is not established on her performance. If God's love for me is not established on my performance, it would be extremely hypocritical of me to operate within a different set of standards. My wife is a godly spouse not because of who she is, but who she is in the Christ.
When you evaluate the vows that are exchanged, you have two ways to interpret them. One way (the most common way) is to look at vows as a series of actions, duties and responsibilities. If you determine that your commitments to love, honor, respect, and even obey your spouse are a series of actions, you'll never fulfill them. The other way, however, is to determine that your vows are a code of attitude around which to orient your life. This is only possible to understand and fulfill when one has a reborn, renewed spiritual life given by God through faith in the Christ, Jesus of Nazareth. Why? Because Jesus Himself modeled the marriage vows to His Bride, the church, when He gave Himself sacrificially on the cross to redeem and restore her for eternal union in heaven.
My bride is a gift from God and a joy to my life not because of how she blesses me. it's not because i can count on well-mannered, well-educated, well-attended children (which i can). It's not because i can count on a clean home, great meals, honest interest, and intelligent conversation (again, which i can). It's not because i can count on a desire to excel, a commitment to persevere, or even her deep love of God (which I do). My bride is a gift from God because the resurrected Christ lives within her. He reveals Himself and reproduces Himself through Her. He glorifies Himself through her and by virtue of being in her company, I too am blessed.
the components of Proverbs 31 are exemplified in a Christ-like woman of God. Kelli is a woman after God's own heart.
9/15/2003
virus alert
C&P humor, from the email:
Viruses you should be aware of --
THE AL GORE Virus... (Causes your computer to just keep counting.)
THE CLINTON Virus... (Gives you a 7-Inch Hard Drive with NO memory.)
THE BOB DOLE (AKA: VIAGRA) virus... (Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.)
THE JESSE JACKSON virus... (Warns you constantly about illegitimate file reproduction, while illegitimately reproducing files in the background.)
THE MIKE TYSON virus... (Quits after two bytes.)
THE OPRAH WINFREY virus... (Your 300 mb hard drive shrinks to 100 mb, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 200mb.)
THE JACK KEVORKIAN virus... (Deletes all old files.)
THE PROZAC virus... (Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.)
THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus... (Only attacks minor files.)
THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus.. (Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.)
THE LORENA BOBBITT virus... (Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.)
heading to virginia
i'll be out of the blogosphere from Tuesday till Thursday midday, travelling up to the International Mission Board for our update on all that takes place there, and how to report about it in our publications.
i'm struggling
to say something important.
keeps like my blogs have been in a rut lately -- to me at least.
i've wanted to begin graceland for, well, forever, but i'm just convicted that i'm not ready nor qualified to begin such an endeavor.
so instead, i make jokes about bennifer afflez.
keeps like my blogs have been in a rut lately -- to me at least.
i've wanted to begin graceland for, well, forever, but i'm just convicted that i'm not ready nor qualified to begin such an endeavor.
so instead, i make jokes about bennifer afflez.
doh!
somebody forgot to "batten down the hatches."
this *was* a $200+ million satellite.
now, it's just a really fancy anchor.
i wonder what the resume' of the guy who's responsible for this looks like. because he better be printing it up and getting it into circulation asap.
this isn't the same thing as replacing chrissy
for the sake of argument has a post on a possibility of bringing in someone to fill the void at 8 Simple Rules... created by Jack Tripper's death.
i like the suggestions for henry winkler if they want a character who is similarly sympathetic to Ritter's character. If they want to counter-program (which may be the wise course of action, or a total disaster), then i'd go with one of the 'edgier' suggestions.
all that to say, regardless of who they select, i'd probably log on once to view the new dynamic, then again about as often as I did when john was the dad (which was rare, at best).
i like the suggestions for henry winkler if they want a character who is similarly sympathetic to Ritter's character. If they want to counter-program (which may be the wise course of action, or a total disaster), then i'd go with one of the 'edgier' suggestions.
all that to say, regardless of who they select, i'd probably log on once to view the new dynamic, then again about as often as I did when john was the dad (which was rare, at best).
monday mission
i've added a list of memes to the right, for when i need to blog, but require a proverbial "priming of the pump," so to speak.
here's monday's mission:
1. What regular chore(s) do you dread the most? pretty much all of them.
2. Have you ever tried any of the "tabbed" browsers like MyIE2, Safari or Mozilla Firebird? Do you like it better than a one-window browser? How come? ha!! recently went over to MyIE2, and loved it so much I blogged about it (scroll down a bit to see).
3. Do you ever get criticized for being on the computer too much? How much time do you spend on the PC and/or on-line? Is it too much time are or do they just not "get" us? not much. I try to live in the real world. The PC is my cure for insomnia, though.
4. In your opinion, what is a "self-starter?" Are you a "self-starter?" a self starter is a person who isn't afraid to initiate action behind original ideas. they don't have to be threatened in order to perform. i am this type of person.
5. Let's take that thought one step further: Write a Job Ad that describes you perfectly (as you are now, not as your "ideal" self) as well as the ideal job you'd like to get paid for doing. I'm passing on this one...it doesn't interest me.
6. Do you take medications on a regular basis, or ever attempted to? Have they caused any side effects? Is it worth enduring them for the benefit you receive from the medication? no. no. no.
7. Some things should just stay in the past, you know? I've found many memories are better as memories. When you try to re-live them they never seem to be able to live up to the memory. Maybe we glamorize them over time. Or maybe they were as good as we think, but something from "now" gets in the way and you just can't get past it. What moment from the past have you tried to re-live that has fallen short of the memory? winning the conference championship in the triple jump. the security guards tackled me before i ever even got to the sand pit.
here's monday's mission:
1. What regular chore(s) do you dread the most? pretty much all of them.
2. Have you ever tried any of the "tabbed" browsers like MyIE2, Safari or Mozilla Firebird? Do you like it better than a one-window browser? How come? ha!! recently went over to MyIE2, and loved it so much I blogged about it (scroll down a bit to see).
3. Do you ever get criticized for being on the computer too much? How much time do you spend on the PC and/or on-line? Is it too much time are or do they just not "get" us? not much. I try to live in the real world. The PC is my cure for insomnia, though.
4. In your opinion, what is a "self-starter?" Are you a "self-starter?" a self starter is a person who isn't afraid to initiate action behind original ideas. they don't have to be threatened in order to perform. i am this type of person.
5. Let's take that thought one step further: Write a Job Ad that describes you perfectly (as you are now, not as your "ideal" self) as well as the ideal job you'd like to get paid for doing. I'm passing on this one...it doesn't interest me.
6. Do you take medications on a regular basis, or ever attempted to? Have they caused any side effects? Is it worth enduring them for the benefit you receive from the medication? no. no. no.
7. Some things should just stay in the past, you know? I've found many memories are better as memories. When you try to re-live them they never seem to be able to live up to the memory. Maybe we glamorize them over time. Or maybe they were as good as we think, but something from "now" gets in the way and you just can't get past it. What moment from the past have you tried to re-live that has fallen short of the memory? winning the conference championship in the triple jump. the security guards tackled me before i ever even got to the sand pit.
another reason why 'fan' is short for 'fanatic'
Tony recently gave us an update on his pigskin prognostication, commenting that he coulda done better if he had gone with his head rather than his heart.
i submit that to truly be a fan -- in professional football anyway -- you must believe that this year (this year, of course, meaning every single year in perpetuity) will be the year that your team goes undefeated. And with each and every game your team loses, you treat it like a brutus-like plunging of the dagger into your heart, shocked that such an upset could have occured (even if your team was a 3 touchdown dog).
note: my team is still on path toward that undefeated season, by the way.
i submit that to truly be a fan -- in professional football anyway -- you must believe that this year (this year, of course, meaning every single year in perpetuity) will be the year that your team goes undefeated. And with each and every game your team loses, you treat it like a brutus-like plunging of the dagger into your heart, shocked that such an upset could have occured (even if your team was a 3 touchdown dog).
note: my team is still on path toward that undefeated season, by the way.
further evidence that i'm a conservative
as i napped yesterday during the atlanta/washington game, i kept thinking that i heard the announcer talk about the good play of sean hannity.
i've just now, after looking at the box scores, realized they were talking about trung candidate.
well that makes a lot more sense.
i've just now, after looking at the box scores, realized they were talking about trung candidate.
well that makes a lot more sense.
an homage
in honor of Conan's celebration of a decade of chuckles, here's Triumph & the Star Wars Nerds.
(note: this is a 10 minute video with "late night" humor.)
(note: this is a 10 minute video with "late night" humor.)
sung to the tune of love hurts
well, we're on hour 17 of the sackcloth and ashes mourning of the reported bennifer lofflez breakup. We've watched Pearl Harbor and Maid in Manhattan on a loop until the DVD player was smoking, and followed up downloading every Jennie from the Block Mp3, just hoping the RIAA will find me and prosecute me, because frankly, i don't even have the will to fight any longer.
what is the saddest part of all this?
simply this:
(thanks, of course, goes to Conan O'Brien for a decade of hilarity, as well as for this tragically unrealized potentiality).
what is the saddest part of all this?
simply this:
(thanks, of course, goes to Conan O'Brien for a decade of hilarity, as well as for this tragically unrealized potentiality).
9/14/2003
gasp!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
somebody please cue How Will I Live, get me a box of tissues and give me a few moments to collect my thoughts.
somebody please cue How Will I Live, get me a box of tissues and give me a few moments to collect my thoughts.
an observation
i was just checking out my stats...which are admittedly modest. but if they were an EKG, I'd be in serious need of a pace maker.
practical wisdom
when getting prepared for the day ahead, if part of your ritual includes the application of an aerosol body spray, be careful not to yawn while wantonly applying the fragrance. No matter how good it smells when interacting with pheromones or sweat or whatever, positive odors do not translate into positive flavors.
a tale of two bloggers
Kyle is sad.
Jen is happy.
Both are, from all accounts, ardent followers of the Christ, Jesus of Nazareth. Could this be evidence that God isn't necessarily overwhelmed with concern of the outcome of football games?
by the way, the Broncos, who God obviously adores given the orange and blue sunsets that bless us each and every night, are leading 14-3 after one quarter.
Jen is happy.
Both are, from all accounts, ardent followers of the Christ, Jesus of Nazareth. Could this be evidence that God isn't necessarily overwhelmed with concern of the outcome of football games?
by the way, the Broncos, who God obviously adores given the orange and blue sunsets that bless us each and every night, are leading 14-3 after one quarter.
you shoulda seen the one that got away
this is a 533-pound halibut caught in the Pacific.
and people wonder if Jonah could have been swallowed by a "big fish."
thanks to utterly boring for the link.
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