9/13/2003
coach mac is keeping a promise
Bill McCartney has resigned from Promise Keepers. He's leaving PK to spend more time to care for his wife, who is ill.
The Christ-follower in me praises him for his decision. The CU fan in me listening to a Buff pounding wonders if he's interested in some extra work on Saturdays.
The Christ-follower in me praises him for his decision. The CU fan in me listening to a Buff pounding wonders if he's interested in some extra work on Saturdays.
controversy in the centennial state
colorado is taking the fight against liberalism to the college campus.
and the ones doing so are taking heat because of it.
and the ones doing so are taking heat because of it.
well, there's always next week
CU is now down 47-13. at least they decided to get this drubbing under way early in the 2nd half so I wouldn't waste my whole afternoon being heartbroken.
all they have to do is regroup for next week's game.
against Florida State.
oh.
this does not look good.
all they have to do is regroup for next week's game.
against Florida State.
oh.
this does not look good.
that's MISTER smartypants to you, bub...
also from tbotcotw...
a quiz that must designed to humble you:
Questions:
1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?
2. How many states are there? (Don't laugh, some people don't know.)
3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?
4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell's soup label?
5. What two letters don't appear on the telephone dial? (No cheating!)
6. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?
7. When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg?
8. How many matches are in a standard pack?
9. On the United States flag, is the top stripe red or white?
10. What is the lowest number on the FM dial?
11. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise?
12. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?
13. How many channels on a VHF TV dial?
14. Which side of a women's blouse are the buttons on?
15. On a NY license plate, is New York on the top or bottom?
16. Which way do fans rotate?
17. Whose face is on a dime?
18. How many sides does a stop sign have?
19. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?
20. How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?
21. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?
22. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who's missing?
23. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?
24. On which playing card is the card maker's trademark?
25. On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?
26. On the back of a $1 bill, what is in the center?
27. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?
28. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?
29. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?
here's the answers...cheater.
( mmm hmmm...i only got 19....too busy with a mustard sandich...mmm hmmm)
a quiz that must designed to humble you:
Questions:
1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?
2. How many states are there? (Don't laugh, some people don't know.)
3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?
4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell's soup label?
5. What two letters don't appear on the telephone dial? (No cheating!)
6. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?
7. When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg?
8. How many matches are in a standard pack?
9. On the United States flag, is the top stripe red or white?
10. What is the lowest number on the FM dial?
11. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise?
12. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?
13. How many channels on a VHF TV dial?
14. Which side of a women's blouse are the buttons on?
15. On a NY license plate, is New York on the top or bottom?
16. Which way do fans rotate?
17. Whose face is on a dime?
18. How many sides does a stop sign have?
19. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?
20. How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?
21. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?
22. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who's missing?
23. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?
24. On which playing card is the card maker's trademark?
25. On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?
26. On the back of a $1 bill, what is in the center?
27. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?
28. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?
29. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?
here's the answers...cheater.
( mmm hmmm...i only got 19....too busy with a mustard sandich...mmm hmmm)
its halftime
CU is down 23-13. Klatt is back in the game.
we have 'em right where we want 'em. The Buffs are 17-0 in the last 17 games in which they've come from behind at half time to win.
we have 'em right where we want 'em. The Buffs are 17-0 in the last 17 games in which they've come from behind at half time to win.
darwin's deathbed
c&p from my weekly answers in genesis newsletter:
here are some of their other arguments creationsists shouldn't use
Q: Many Christians believe that Darwin rejected his idea of evolution on his deathbed. Is that true?
A: It’s true that Darwin rejected a belief system at the time of his death—but it wasn't his evolutionary belief system—it was the truth of God’s Word that Darwin turned his back on.
Many Christians believe that Darwin changed his mind about evolution just before he died. A tract written by a certain Lady Hope has been widely distributed; she supposedly had such a conversation with Darwin while he was dying.
But all investigation has shown that this tract has no factual basis. Actually, Darwin made statements shortly before he died which indicated he didn't believe there'd been any revelation from God. He also said that the Old Testament was to be no more trusted that the sacred books of the Hindus. Actually, Darwin admitted that the more he believed evolution, the more he rejected God.
This should be a solemn warning for the church. The more Christians believe in evolution, the more they'll reject God's Word. Let's be careful.
here are some of their other arguments creationsists shouldn't use
if you're bummed and you know it...
the first quarter is over and CU is losing 21-7, and their QB is hurt.
who knew dsl could be so very, very cruel?
who knew dsl could be so very, very cruel?
if you're happy and you know it...
wave your big foam "CU #1" finger.
I just figured out how to get a live audio stream of the CU/Washington St. game. In no time at all i'll be yelling incoherently at my computer monitor.
i love dsl.
I just figured out how to get a live audio stream of the CU/Washington St. game. In no time at all i'll be yelling incoherently at my computer monitor.
i love dsl.
the featured ride at mac's world of dangerous adventure
design your own rollercoaster.
its not exciting as you'd think. i was hoping for a "rollercoaster tycoon"-type event, but just got a physics lesson in disguise.
my creation (from limited options) was pretty good, except for that one part that would cause the carts to go airborne and lead to the certain doom of all it's riders.
thanks to jwalk for the link.
its not exciting as you'd think. i was hoping for a "rollercoaster tycoon"-type event, but just got a physics lesson in disguise.
my creation (from limited options) was pretty good, except for that one part that would cause the carts to go airborne and lead to the certain doom of all it's riders.
thanks to jwalk for the link.
9/12/2003
friday friday friday friday friday
1. Is the name you have now the same name that's on your birth certificate? If not, what's changed?
Bryan Eugene McAnally
2. If you could change your name (first, middle and/or last), what would it be?
I used to hate my middle name, but have grown to appreciate that it honors uncles on both sides of the family. But if I could choose any name at all, it's a three-way tie between
Striker Pectoralis McAnally
Boutros Boutros McAnally
George W. Bush II
3. Why were you named what you were? (Is there a story behind it? Who specifically was responsible for naming you?)
My parents take equal credit/blame for my name. My namesake (is that the right word since I'm really his namesake) was a friend of theirs on the high school wrestling team, Brian Murphy.
4. Are there any names you really hate or love? What are they and why?
I love my wife and children's names, for the emotions and memories that are evoked at the speaking of each.
5. Is the analysis of your name at kabalarians.com / triggur.org / astroexpert accurate? How or how isn't it?
kabalarians -- about half right.
triggur -- about 80 percent wrong.
astroexpert -- i don't what in the world it was trying to say, but i'm certain it's 100% wrong.
Bryan Eugene McAnally
2. If you could change your name (first, middle and/or last), what would it be?
I used to hate my middle name, but have grown to appreciate that it honors uncles on both sides of the family. But if I could choose any name at all, it's a three-way tie between
Striker Pectoralis McAnally
Boutros Boutros McAnally
George W. Bush II
3. Why were you named what you were? (Is there a story behind it? Who specifically was responsible for naming you?)
My parents take equal credit/blame for my name. My namesake (is that the right word since I'm really his namesake) was a friend of theirs on the high school wrestling team, Brian Murphy.
4. Are there any names you really hate or love? What are they and why?
I love my wife and children's names, for the emotions and memories that are evoked at the speaking of each.
5. Is the analysis of your name at kabalarians.com / triggur.org / astroexpert accurate? How or how isn't it?
kabalarians -- about half right.
triggur -- about 80 percent wrong.
astroexpert -- i don't what in the world it was trying to say, but i'm certain it's 100% wrong.
my new browser
at the encouragement of lockergnome, I've downloaded the myIE2 browser. It allows you to open your multiple web pages in one window, saving your sanity and toolbar space. This is very cool, easily the most useful download I've used in quite a while.
mr. needle...meet mr. haystack
my hardworking and wonderful secretary gail has provided for me 75 alarm clocks to use as give-aways for an upcoming event in South Carolina. The small clocks are wrapped in taped plastic, sealed in a box, and grouped together in a large plastic bag.
One of those 75 alarms is for some odd reason set to go off each day at 2:30 in the afternoon.
i've endured this for four days. i make no promises my patience will sustain me.
One of those 75 alarms is for some odd reason set to go off each day at 2:30 in the afternoon.
i've endured this for four days. i make no promises my patience will sustain me.
internet wisdom by kelli®
an email from my beloved:
well THAT explains why we've been getting those canned-ham emails from Brazil.
you don't know how many times in our short tenure living here that we've wished the town forefathers had chosen the second place finalist in "Ye Olde 'Name The Town' Competition."
Don’t put in the key words “Movies” and “Cumming” into google. I just wanted to know what shows were out this weekend. . Yeah, the results are not quite what I had expected.
well THAT explains why we've been getting those canned-ham emails from Brazil.
you don't know how many times in our short tenure living here that we've wished the town forefathers had chosen the second place finalist in "Ye Olde 'Name The Town' Competition."
last john standing as the saints go marching in
michele had the same vibe as did i, and offers a strong candidate for john-in-peril. i'm a bit unsure about his prospects, though. Admittedly, he's quite feeble, but his given name is Karol.
a couple other candidates:
john #1
john #2
john #3
who am i forgetting?
on a quasi-related note, the vatican is planning on disregarding the normal process of sainthood verification for one "Mother" Teresa. This seems to be the Roman Catholic equivalent of when the Denver Broncos decided to not make John Elway wait five years before being added to the Mile High Ring of Fame. i love that the article actually says they want to put her "on the fast track to sainthood." I praise the Lord God that its not up to a governing body to determine my rank and stature. I'm not qualified to say whether or not she is in fact a saint (i'll find out one day, i'm sure), but I do know what the Bible has to say to me:
Romans 1:7 - To all in Rome who are loved by God and called to be saints: Grace and peace to you from God our Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ.
me: if we aren't all able to be saints, then the letter to Rome is for a very select few.
1 Corinthians 6:1 - If any of you has a dispute with another, dare he take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the saints?
me: if we go by the Catholic standard, why would Paul want us to take our disputes to the holy dead?
1 Corinthians 6:2 - Do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases?
me: a direct statement that linking 'saint' to 'you.' and this is also a strong scripture that authorizes us to make solid discernments in a world that says "don't you DARE judge me."
Colossians 1:12 - giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you[ 1:12 Some manuscripts us] to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.
me: do you see it? the Father has qualified us..to share...as saints.
Jude 1:3 - Dear friends, although I was very eager to write to you about the salvation we share, I felt I had to write and urge you to contend for the faith that was once for all entrusted to the saints.
me: as a believer -- a sin-filled, weak human -- made a righteous and strong saint by faith in God am empowered to fight for that very faith that was entrusted to me.
dear friends....this is no knock on catholics(remember, i once was one!), for there is no shadow of partiality with our Father who loves us,with the Son who saves us, nor with the Spirit who seals us. If our faith for eternity be solely in the Christ, then we have already been identified as saints. Today, if our two famous Johnnies were just such folk (I know of Mr. Cash's testimony, but not Mr. Ritter's), then they've joined the heavenly chorus of the saints, perhaps alongside Teresa, who will probably surprise us with the beauty of her singing voice.
a couple other candidates:
john #1
john #2
john #3
who am i forgetting?
on a quasi-related note, the vatican is planning on disregarding the normal process of sainthood verification for one "Mother" Teresa. This seems to be the Roman Catholic equivalent of when the Denver Broncos decided to not make John Elway wait five years before being added to the Mile High Ring of Fame. i love that the article actually says they want to put her "on the fast track to sainthood." I praise the Lord God that its not up to a governing body to determine my rank and stature. I'm not qualified to say whether or not she is in fact a saint (i'll find out one day, i'm sure), but I do know what the Bible has to say to me:
Romans 1:7 - To all in Rome who are loved by God and called to be saints: Grace and peace to you from God our Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ.
me: if we aren't all able to be saints, then the letter to Rome is for a very select few.
1 Corinthians 6:1 - If any of you has a dispute with another, dare he take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the saints?
me: if we go by the Catholic standard, why would Paul want us to take our disputes to the holy dead?
1 Corinthians 6:2 - Do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases?
me: a direct statement that linking 'saint' to 'you.' and this is also a strong scripture that authorizes us to make solid discernments in a world that says "don't you DARE judge me."
Colossians 1:12 - giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you[ 1:12 Some manuscripts us] to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.
me: do you see it? the Father has qualified us..to share...as saints.
Jude 1:3 - Dear friends, although I was very eager to write to you about the salvation we share, I felt I had to write and urge you to contend for the faith that was once for all entrusted to the saints.
me: as a believer -- a sin-filled, weak human -- made a righteous and strong saint by faith in God am empowered to fight for that very faith that was entrusted to me.
dear friends....this is no knock on catholics(remember, i once was one!), for there is no shadow of partiality with our Father who loves us,with the Son who saves us, nor with the Spirit who seals us. If our faith for eternity be solely in the Christ, then we have already been identified as saints. Today, if our two famous Johnnies were just such folk (I know of Mr. Cash's testimony, but not Mr. Ritter's), then they've joined the heavenly chorus of the saints, perhaps alongside Teresa, who will probably surprise us with the beauty of her singing voice.
bring a small carry-on only, please
Sean, friend and boss1, recently posted about a church group from Kansas compelled to protest at Hattiesburg, MS because of the local school's support for a homosexual affinity group.
I share Sean's regret (right word? I don't know) that this group labels itself Baptist, but I don't go so far as to say that their total lack of grace is baggage that I as a Baptist am forced to carry.
I agree that they damage the testimony of the Christ who said, "I came to save, not to condemn." I also understand that they find justification and motivation by honoring the holiness of God, who is absolutely intolerant of homosexuality. And I'd like to gently remind my Marching Baptist Brethren that they are under the command to love others as they love themselves. That means to be as graceful, as well as grace-filled with those you oppose as you would be with yourself.
But do you know what the great thing about being a Baptist is? Autonomy. Autonomy means that this group in Kansas is completely allowed to act foolishly, speak ubiblically, and behave selfishly -- and I don't have to take responsibility for it! In fact, I will fight for their right to be unfettered from theological, denominational, ideological dictates which may hamper their free expression of idiocy. Part of being a Baptist is the responsibility to not have to apologize for the mistakes of others, while being wholly accountable for your own.
There are many, many, many Baptist denominations out there. According to religioustolerance.org here's a list of the most prominent ones, just in America (along with membership -in millions-in parenthesis):
this doesn't account for the numerous Baptist groups who are much smaller in individual numbers, or Baptist groups who by principle do not associate denominationally beyond the local church. With all these groups we share the essential doctrine of believer's baptism by immersion as a picture of the completed work of salvation. Beyond that, the ecclesiastical deck is filled with wild cards.
and the Baptist emphasis on autonomy is wonderful because I have the wonderful ability to disagree with others, even with my own denomination, and still be a part of it. Jerry Falwell came from the Independent Baptist ranks to affiliate his church with the Southern Baptist Conservative Denomination of Virginia, as well as with the SBC. I don't agree with everything Dr. Falwell has to say (or often, even when I do agree with him, I don't agree with how he says something). And we are both welcome in the same Baptist family gatherings. And i don't have to apologize for him, nor does he for me. The cool thing about being Baptist is that opinions are not the final arbiter. God's Word is. And if someone is out of accordance with the established, unchanging word of God, they can either re-align with biblical truth, or they are free to pursue their own flawed theologies elsewhere.
Despite my strong desire to be servant-hearted, I refuse to carry the baggage of brothers and sisters of faith when it is stuffed full of messy, unkempt theological garbs. I don't highlight the errors of other Baptists in "mixed conversations," for I've enough errors of my own to handle. And if someone says something along the lines of "wasn't it you Southern Baptists who basically said you hate Mickey Mouse," I don't make any effort to defend the indefensible or apologize for anyone's social clumsiness. I just explain the wonderful blessing that I have the freedom to watch Beauty and the Beast with my wife and kids, without fear of having to close the blinds or getting a knock on the door from the SBC Gestapo. Then I try to point out that much of what gets the headlines and attention these days has little or nothing to do with the really important matter -- do you have a faith relationship with the Christ, Jesus of Nazareth?
I share Sean's regret (right word? I don't know) that this group labels itself Baptist, but I don't go so far as to say that their total lack of grace is baggage that I as a Baptist am forced to carry.
I agree that they damage the testimony of the Christ who said, "I came to save, not to condemn." I also understand that they find justification and motivation by honoring the holiness of God, who is absolutely intolerant of homosexuality. And I'd like to gently remind my Marching Baptist Brethren that they are under the command to love others as they love themselves. That means to be as graceful, as well as grace-filled with those you oppose as you would be with yourself.
But do you know what the great thing about being a Baptist is? Autonomy. Autonomy means that this group in Kansas is completely allowed to act foolishly, speak ubiblically, and behave selfishly -- and I don't have to take responsibility for it! In fact, I will fight for their right to be unfettered from theological, denominational, ideological dictates which may hamper their free expression of idiocy. Part of being a Baptist is the responsibility to not have to apologize for the mistakes of others, while being wholly accountable for your own.
There are many, many, many Baptist denominations out there. According to religioustolerance.org here's a list of the most prominent ones, just in America (along with membership -in millions-in parenthesis):
American Baptist Churches in the USA (1.5)
Baptist Bible Fellowship International (1.2)
National Baptist Convention, U.S.A. (8.2)
National Missionary Baptist Convention of America (2.5)
Progressive National Baptist Convention (2.5)
Southern Baptist Convention (15.7)
this doesn't account for the numerous Baptist groups who are much smaller in individual numbers, or Baptist groups who by principle do not associate denominationally beyond the local church. With all these groups we share the essential doctrine of believer's baptism by immersion as a picture of the completed work of salvation. Beyond that, the ecclesiastical deck is filled with wild cards.
and the Baptist emphasis on autonomy is wonderful because I have the wonderful ability to disagree with others, even with my own denomination, and still be a part of it. Jerry Falwell came from the Independent Baptist ranks to affiliate his church with the Southern Baptist Conservative Denomination of Virginia, as well as with the SBC. I don't agree with everything Dr. Falwell has to say (or often, even when I do agree with him, I don't agree with how he says something). And we are both welcome in the same Baptist family gatherings. And i don't have to apologize for him, nor does he for me. The cool thing about being Baptist is that opinions are not the final arbiter. God's Word is. And if someone is out of accordance with the established, unchanging word of God, they can either re-align with biblical truth, or they are free to pursue their own flawed theologies elsewhere.
Despite my strong desire to be servant-hearted, I refuse to carry the baggage of brothers and sisters of faith when it is stuffed full of messy, unkempt theological garbs. I don't highlight the errors of other Baptists in "mixed conversations," for I've enough errors of my own to handle. And if someone says something along the lines of "wasn't it you Southern Baptists who basically said you hate Mickey Mouse," I don't make any effort to defend the indefensible or apologize for anyone's social clumsiness. I just explain the wonderful blessing that I have the freedom to watch Beauty and the Beast with my wife and kids, without fear of having to close the blinds or getting a knock on the door from the SBC Gestapo. Then I try to point out that much of what gets the headlines and attention these days has little or nothing to do with the really important matter -- do you have a faith relationship with the Christ, Jesus of Nazareth?
sung to the tune of who's johnny
< ominous music > just wondering < /ominous music >
for those of you who believe bad things happen in threes...
two famous Johns have fallen today.
any guesses for who's next?
for those of you who believe bad things happen in threes...
two famous Johns have fallen today.
any guesses for who's next?
sung to the tune of i've been everywhere
June Carter's husband has also died. Despite speculation that he had finally accomplished his life's greatest ambition by winning an MTV Moonman and had no other reason for living, official cause of death was determined to be complications from diabetes.
long considered a pioneer in 'rockabilly,' Johnny Cash had dozens of hits, including "Ring of Fire," "I've Been Everywhere," "Sunday's Comin' Down," "Folsom Prison Blues," "A Boy Named Sue (not autobiographical)," "Man in Black" and "Hurt," which won a 2003 MTV Music Video Award for cinemetography and was not at all a feeble tip of the hat from the "We Used to be about the Music" Channel to an industry giant, just as neither was the akwardly-awarded Duran Duran "lifetime achievement award" given to them as they tried to announce the award for Most Booty-Shakenist Rap Video Guest Starring a Hip-Hop Diva Singing the Background While the Thugster Pounds His Chest Angrily.
Cash --musician, songwriter, author, and occasional actor -- was 71.
long considered a pioneer in 'rockabilly,' Johnny Cash had dozens of hits, including "Ring of Fire," "I've Been Everywhere," "Sunday's Comin' Down," "Folsom Prison Blues," "A Boy Named Sue (not autobiographical)," "Man in Black" and "Hurt," which won a 2003 MTV Music Video Award for cinemetography and was not at all a feeble tip of the hat from the "We Used to be about the Music" Channel to an industry giant, just as neither was the akwardly-awarded Duran Duran "lifetime achievement award" given to them as they tried to announce the award for Most Booty-Shakenist Rap Video Guest Starring a Hip-Hop Diva Singing the Background While the Thugster Pounds His Chest Angrily.
Cash --musician, songwriter, author, and occasional actor -- was 71.
oh jaa-aaack
Tex Ritter's boy has died. Jack Tripper's cause of death was a dissected aorta, which in laymen's terms means his heart had a massive blow-out.
a week away from his 55th birthday, he was on the set of his well-received situation comedy 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter. Plans for the show have not been determined.
John Ritter was a Van Dykian physical comedian who was able to wring more laughter out of misleading sexual innuendo than one could ever think possible. He showed his acting chops in several serious turns (the "Problem Child" franchise notwithstanding), most notably as the sympatheric (gay? i don't remember) adult acquaintance of the mother of a young boy who happens to be on the receiving end of the Yoakumian abuse of mom's boyfriend, and later befriends a homocidal mentally deficient Billy Bob Thorton named Kyle who lives in their garage. This movie is of course, the 1996 epicBeauty and the Beast Sling Blade.
mmm hmmm.
John Ritter was married to Amy Yasbeck, from Wings fame.
a week away from his 55th birthday, he was on the set of his well-received situation comedy 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter. Plans for the show have not been determined.
John Ritter was a Van Dykian physical comedian who was able to wring more laughter out of misleading sexual innuendo than one could ever think possible. He showed his acting chops in several serious turns (the "Problem Child" franchise notwithstanding), most notably as the sympatheric (gay? i don't remember) adult acquaintance of the mother of a young boy who happens to be on the receiving end of the Yoakumian abuse of mom's boyfriend, and later befriends a homocidal mentally deficient Billy Bob Thorton named Kyle who lives in their garage. This movie is of course, the 1996 epic
mmm hmmm.
John Ritter was married to Amy Yasbeck, from Wings fame.
does it mean i'm insensitive if i laughed?
several years ago, a series of jokes went around about various names for quadruple amputees in various situations.
punchline/names included:
bob
skip
phil
art
ilene
irene
pat
mat
today, i was introduced to a new joke, the next generation (to me) in this tradition:
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs lying in a pile of leaves?
russell
punchline/names included:
bob
skip
phil
art
ilene
irene
pat
mat
today, i was introduced to a new joke, the next generation (to me) in this tradition:
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs lying in a pile of leaves?
russell
9/11/2003
the best news kelli has heard in a while
she never has to play scrabble with me again!
actually, (i think) she likes to play with me. but i like to make up words. that probably gets old for her.
actually, (i think) she likes to play with me. but i like to make up words. that probably gets old for her.
prayer request
please pray for my boss2 Joe. he's having a biopsy as i type this, around a previously/potentially cancerous tissue.
just in case your blood pressure was starting to level off
cam edwards shares an email he received that illustrates why foreign rodents are brazen enough to nip at our heels. anti-american liberal dogma is the rotting, mildewed planks covering the solid framework of our democratic republic.
a clearing on the eastern seaboard
i've eliminated the weather pixie from my blog appearance. she and i just never gelled. and the weather was for me, not for you. so when i found a weather aggregator, i dumped her like the winning contestant two songs after the end of the Ugly Date competition.
i tell you, rss is the way to go.
i tell you, rss is the way to go.
sung to the tune of bad reputation
Jen linked to a quiz that asked me if i was solicitous toward hits.
my results
while i'm uncomfortable with the term "hit slut," i would confess that i check my traffic often -- a few times a day at least. i'm not ashamed of it. i like to see who's reading me, and it's a very easy way for me to go to them and read their content. i'll never pay for advertising, though. if i can't generate an audience by word of mouth (or the power of internet referral), then that's just the way it'll have to be.
in all, i'd say the summary is pretty accurate.
my results
Your Score: 35 / 100
YOUR SCORE
35.0% 35.0 points out of 100
AVG SCORE
32.5% 32.5 points out of 100
2447 people have taken this silly test so far.
825 people have scored higher than you.
1359 people have scored lower than you.
263 people made the same grade as you.
What does this mean? * 35 points is in the 20 through 39 precent
TYPE C (HIT-CURIOUS). You do the weblog thing for yourself instead of for an audience, but you are aware that you do have an audience, small as it might be. You are often curious as to what other people find so interesting about your weblog. You check your weblog referrers every now and then just to satisfy your curiosity.
while i'm uncomfortable with the term "hit slut," i would confess that i check my traffic often -- a few times a day at least. i'm not ashamed of it. i like to see who's reading me, and it's a very easy way for me to go to them and read their content. i'll never pay for advertising, though. if i can't generate an audience by word of mouth (or the power of internet referral), then that's just the way it'll have to be.
in all, i'd say the summary is pretty accurate.
i agree...sort of
joe makes a strong point out of not making a big deal out of today, and (as usual) I concur.
and yet, my posts will likely focus on the infamy of the anniversary.
i didn't start out with these intentions.
in fact, i originally had plans to let the blog lay silent in honor of the day.
but as i drove to work today, i listened to the radio airing the recasts of the horrible events.
and i was apalled at myself for how complacent i have become.
i've supported my president from day one.
i've endorsed the military effort to eradicate and exterminate terrorist vermin no matter how far away are the holes and cracks in which they cower.
i've sent emails to my congressional leaders expressing my firm expectation that they need to follow our president.
but somewhere in the last two years, i lost my sense of outrage, of unbridled righteous indignation that anyone, ANYONE, would do such a thing.
perhaps its been the constant backbiting, undercutting, and outright subversion our own brothers-in-arms have undertaken against our president.
perhaps its been the monotonous entanglement of international appeasement which has hampered our efforts.
perhaps its been the confusing distraction of political correctness and trepidation-clothed-as-diplomacy.
perhaps its been because our country has done such a phenomenal job of expeditiously returning my life to normalcy.
perhaps its because i have a short attention span and i'm so far removed geographically, emotionally, and mentally when the images aren't ringing in my ears or flashing in my face.
perhaps its because God has filled me with a love for life instead of a hatred that demands death.
perhaps it is for many, unknowable, indeterminant reasons that I was re-awakened to feelings and emotions that had been lulled to sleep over the past 730 days.
it doesn't mean i was any less of a patriot during that time. i was just sleepwalking.
today, with the thick, sick thuds of repeating explosions and the wailing cries of despairing victims, the alarm again sounded.
i am filled with sorrow for the exponential thousands of those still grieving their dead.
i am renewed with vigor to pray for, encourage, and any other way necessary support our military and Commander in Chief.
i am surprised to feel a tinge of fear that "the other shoe will drop" with report of a newly exposed weakness in our defense.
i am thankful that we commemorate this day so the sharp edges of reality do not wear dull with the passing of time; that our passion for democracy burns with an intense heat rather than cooling to a pile of warm embers.
i am overwhelmed with hope that being on the side of goodness, decency, and freedom will receive the blessing of victory and favor of God.
it is for these good, important reasons that we from time to time must return to something so painful. for if we do not, despite all our rallying cries otherwise, we would certainly forget.
we must never forget.
and yet, my posts will likely focus on the infamy of the anniversary.
i didn't start out with these intentions.
in fact, i originally had plans to let the blog lay silent in honor of the day.
but as i drove to work today, i listened to the radio airing the recasts of the horrible events.
and i was apalled at myself for how complacent i have become.
i've supported my president from day one.
i've endorsed the military effort to eradicate and exterminate terrorist vermin no matter how far away are the holes and cracks in which they cower.
i've sent emails to my congressional leaders expressing my firm expectation that they need to follow our president.
but somewhere in the last two years, i lost my sense of outrage, of unbridled righteous indignation that anyone, ANYONE, would do such a thing.
perhaps its been the constant backbiting, undercutting, and outright subversion our own brothers-in-arms have undertaken against our president.
perhaps its been the monotonous entanglement of international appeasement which has hampered our efforts.
perhaps its been the confusing distraction of political correctness and trepidation-clothed-as-diplomacy.
perhaps its been because our country has done such a phenomenal job of expeditiously returning my life to normalcy.
perhaps its because i have a short attention span and i'm so far removed geographically, emotionally, and mentally when the images aren't ringing in my ears or flashing in my face.
perhaps its because God has filled me with a love for life instead of a hatred that demands death.
perhaps it is for many, unknowable, indeterminant reasons that I was re-awakened to feelings and emotions that had been lulled to sleep over the past 730 days.
it doesn't mean i was any less of a patriot during that time. i was just sleepwalking.
today, with the thick, sick thuds of repeating explosions and the wailing cries of despairing victims, the alarm again sounded.
i am filled with sorrow for the exponential thousands of those still grieving their dead.
i am renewed with vigor to pray for, encourage, and any other way necessary support our military and Commander in Chief.
i am surprised to feel a tinge of fear that "the other shoe will drop" with report of a newly exposed weakness in our defense.
i am thankful that we commemorate this day so the sharp edges of reality do not wear dull with the passing of time; that our passion for democracy burns with an intense heat rather than cooling to a pile of warm embers.
i am overwhelmed with hope that being on the side of goodness, decency, and freedom will receive the blessing of victory and favor of God.
it is for these good, important reasons that we from time to time must return to something so painful. for if we do not, despite all our rallying cries otherwise, we would certainly forget.
we must never forget.
why we fight
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
winning the war on spam
spam pal is doing a great job in our inbox. i have to make a couple of corrections because it works a little too well, but i have seen over 500 junk email go directly to a trashbin rather than waste my time.
9/10/2003
a little taste of reality
i've been watching cupid. with my wife.
never by myself.
i think the ahnold clone should get all our votes so she has to dump him to be with Hank, or whatever the name is of the dude she really likes.
why should she be rewarded with $1 million just because she was on this show? I think they should give the bucks to Robert for sticking in there even when all those women were so catty to him.
i know, i know.
america loves a love story.
but does this qualify?
really?
(note: this has been my first reality tv blog in a while, but i totally agree with those of you who thought the mole was a good program. i hope we'll see it again some time.
never by myself.
i think the ahnold clone should get all our votes so she has to dump him to be with Hank, or whatever the name is of the dude she really likes.
why should she be rewarded with $1 million just because she was on this show? I think they should give the bucks to Robert for sticking in there even when all those women were so catty to him.
i know, i know.
america loves a love story.
but does this qualify?
really?
(note: this has been my first reality tv blog in a while, but i totally agree with those of you who thought the mole was a good program. i hope we'll see it again some time.
sung to the tune of i'm walkin'
see how people walk.
men v. women.
happy v. sad.
nervous v. relaxed.
heavy v. light.
and all variations therein.
hypermind gets link credit.
men v. women.
happy v. sad.
nervous v. relaxed.
heavy v. light.
and all variations therein.
hypermind gets link credit.
will you do me a favor, please
if you are a blog i read regularly (and you knwo who you are) it'd be great if you could syndicate your site for me by friday.
yeah. umm hmm. right.
that'd be swell.
yeah. umm hmm. right.
that'd be swell.
upon further review
there are just some things that end up getting typed that sound a lot dirtier than they were ever intended to be.
as i boarded the plane
boarding flight delta flight 685 from dayton to atlanta, i saw this on the panel of the gate connector:
remove all wheelchairs from the jetway prior to takeoff
well that's an odd thing to have to remind someone, i thought to meself.
but then another thought hit me:
someone, somewhere, had actually forgotten at one time or another to remove a wheelchair from the jetway.
i mean, after all, they didn't put the "caution, hot!" warning on the mcdonald's styrofoam cups until that one old gal boiled her crotch with 12 ounces of hot joe.
so at some point back in time, some poor delta pilot was pulling out to his assigned take off, when out of the corner of his eye, he catches view of a discarded wheel chair. doncha know he was terrified to think of where the occupant had gone.
yes indeed, dear friends...it's the little things that amuse me.
remove all wheelchairs from the jetway prior to takeoff
well that's an odd thing to have to remind someone, i thought to meself.
but then another thought hit me:
someone, somewhere, had actually forgotten at one time or another to remove a wheelchair from the jetway.
i mean, after all, they didn't put the "caution, hot!" warning on the mcdonald's styrofoam cups until that one old gal boiled her crotch with 12 ounces of hot joe.
so at some point back in time, some poor delta pilot was pulling out to his assigned take off, when out of the corner of his eye, he catches view of a discarded wheel chair. doncha know he was terrified to think of where the occupant had gone.
yes indeed, dear friends...it's the little things that amuse me.
sung to the tune of the real slim shady
recently, the mcanally clan was in media play, wasting time. i came around the corner of the magazine rack to find my beloved bride reading, of all things, a special edition hip hop magazine
me: why in the world are you reading that?
kelli, with sarcastic amusement (she's making me add this disclaimer), showing me the cover: i'm 'peeking in to the inner secrets of 50 cent and eminem.'
cotter: we can buy m & m's for fifty cents?!?
me: why in the world are you reading that?
kelli, with sarcastic amusement (she's making me add this disclaimer), showing me the cover: i'm 'peeking in to the inner secrets of 50 cent and eminem.'
cotter: we can buy m & m's for fifty cents?!?
please pray
dan, in iowa, husband and father of two young boys, has been diagnosed with prostate cancer.
thanks.
thanks.
boys will be boys
joe fromfor the sake of arugment has a story about a boy being punished for, on a dare, smacking a friend upside the noggin with his skateboard.
i remember a comedian once saying, "this is why woman is called 'woman.' because she's always having to say, 'whoa man!' you never see a woman trying to see what happens when you stick a firecracker in a tampon."
then joe solicits our memories of childhood stupidity. i'll hazard the prediction that men will outnumber women's nostalgia 5-to-1 or more. i shared two such experiences of my own. make no mistake, those two are really just the mug plugs for an untold number of others that are surprisingly similar and almost always include the phrases "we thought it would be funny if...." and "and then we ran."
by the way...read joe regularly...he's got a great format with solid stuff (not that he needs my endorsement).
i remember a comedian once saying, "this is why woman is called 'woman.' because she's always having to say, 'whoa man!' you never see a woman trying to see what happens when you stick a firecracker in a tampon."
then joe solicits our memories of childhood stupidity. i'll hazard the prediction that men will outnumber women's nostalgia 5-to-1 or more. i shared two such experiences of my own. make no mistake, those two are really just the mug plugs for an untold number of others that are surprisingly similar and almost always include the phrases "we thought it would be funny if...." and "and then we ran."
by the way...read joe regularly...he's got a great format with solid stuff (not that he needs my endorsement).
passion fruit
this article on Mel's well-intentioned cinematic effort to convey the love of God, is, in a word phenomenal.
sung to the tune of workin' 9 to 5
Jen posts on the sneaky snare of the dual-income lure.
its a good read.
our own account bears witness to the truth. the last time we were a two-income family was when i was in seminary, and kelli was our primary source of wage-earning. once i graduated, though, we knew God was calling us to a one-income life where kelli was at home full time with the children. in the time since then, we've never made more than what we made with the two incomes, and for extended times, made significantly less. And even as our family has grown, we've never wanted for anything. we have been amazed at how faithful and consistent God has been in providing for us through supernatural events, and through the loving sacrifice of God's people. And every time we're tempted to take a bite of the fruit, we are reminded of the disproportionately large expense of paying someone else to inferiorly provide what is our responsibility to ourselves give to our children; this cost MUST be measured financially, socially, mentally, and emotionally. to us, its just not worth it.
there will likely be a day when kelli returns to the workforce outside our home. but that decision will come at a time that's life-situation appropriate, and will be in accordance with our priorities, rather than in direct opposition to them. she's already doing some work from our home that doesn't supercede her more important call as a mother. but she doesn't do that work so we can make more or have more; if that were our motivation, she'd be doing more, elsewhere. we have to quit subjugating the calls of God to be a mother and a father, behind the demand to make more money so the neighbors will be jealous. i love that commercial of that guy who's bragging about all his possessions, then with a huge smile on his face says, "i'm in debt up to my eyeballs. help me. please help me."
don't send me hate mail because you're a two-income family and you're doing just fine. good for you. i'm not your Holy Spirit, and i don't judge you. i don't pity you because of all the things you think i'm thinking you're lacking. i don't mean to hurt your feelings, but i don't spend that much time thinking about your choices. but for us, the best investment we have ever made was not taking the extra income from a second job and putting it in an interest bearing account, but taking the extra time, love, attention, and direction made availabe from not being obligated to a second job, and putting it into our children, who will (we believe by faith) bear a much higher yield in the long run.
its a good read.
our own account bears witness to the truth. the last time we were a two-income family was when i was in seminary, and kelli was our primary source of wage-earning. once i graduated, though, we knew God was calling us to a one-income life where kelli was at home full time with the children. in the time since then, we've never made more than what we made with the two incomes, and for extended times, made significantly less. And even as our family has grown, we've never wanted for anything. we have been amazed at how faithful and consistent God has been in providing for us through supernatural events, and through the loving sacrifice of God's people. And every time we're tempted to take a bite of the fruit, we are reminded of the disproportionately large expense of paying someone else to inferiorly provide what is our responsibility to ourselves give to our children; this cost MUST be measured financially, socially, mentally, and emotionally. to us, its just not worth it.
there will likely be a day when kelli returns to the workforce outside our home. but that decision will come at a time that's life-situation appropriate, and will be in accordance with our priorities, rather than in direct opposition to them. she's already doing some work from our home that doesn't supercede her more important call as a mother. but she doesn't do that work so we can make more or have more; if that were our motivation, she'd be doing more, elsewhere. we have to quit subjugating the calls of God to be a mother and a father, behind the demand to make more money so the neighbors will be jealous. i love that commercial of that guy who's bragging about all his possessions, then with a huge smile on his face says, "i'm in debt up to my eyeballs. help me. please help me."
don't send me hate mail because you're a two-income family and you're doing just fine. good for you. i'm not your Holy Spirit, and i don't judge you. i don't pity you because of all the things you think i'm thinking you're lacking. i don't mean to hurt your feelings, but i don't spend that much time thinking about your choices. but for us, the best investment we have ever made was not taking the extra income from a second job and putting it in an interest bearing account, but taking the extra time, love, attention, and direction made availabe from not being obligated to a second job, and putting it into our children, who will (we believe by faith) bear a much higher yield in the long run.
this week on fear factor
Tony with one simple observation, presents one of the most convincing and, candidly, concerning arguments to stymie the evolutionists.
a weighty conundrum
the "wellness" group at NAMB is starting a new program called 'shop, drop, and roll.' the idea behind it is that you lumber your tubby self down to their area, where they weigh you and take your body mass index. then, over the next 45 days, if you drop 1 point, you get shopping gift certificates. then, as you roll on another 45 days, you get another cha-ching. there's also a provision for those who don't need to reduce their bmi, but will be rewarded for maintaining it. though it's not been stated, i'm a little concerned that the program is being funded by those whose bmi actually increases and are expected to pay a penalty.
i've yet to sign up. why? two reasons. one -- i've taken my bmi and it's telling me something that if it were a human, i would've smacked it upside the head for saying. i already know i'm not in the best shape and I know there's room for improvement, but i wouldn't say i'm as bad off as it claims. i don't require additional seating in theaters and airplanes, i don't shop at Omar the Tentmaker's Tall and Good Lord He's Coming This Way Store®, and my caloric intake is (i'm pretty certain) still less than half of the Dow index (even if were to have a VERY bad day). In fact, according to the bmi, i'd have to get to 195 lbs (a weight i haven't seen since my freshman year in college, before i got into weighlifting), just to be at the high end of "normal." But my bigger fear of signing up, which i acknowledge is simple pride, is the fear of actually succeeding.
I dread the email that goes to all of our 400 employees that says something like: "The September winners for Shop, drop, and roll include Bryan McAnally in AME. This former fatty patty two by four who couldn't get through the bathroom door dropped an amazing 2.2 BMI points. Way to Go Bryan, you obese tub of goo!!"
I've been trying to live more healthy for a little while now -- nearly eliminating all carbonated beverages, greatly reducing caffiene intake, refraining from eating an entire pie in one sitting....you know, the little things. and i feel better because of it. but what's sad is that we (as a group at NAMB) aren't mooooootivated by the spiritual commands to treat our bodies like the temple of the Living God, but throw some money at us, and all of sudden everybody's eating carrot sticks and taking the stairs instead of the elevators.
listen, my motivations for changing my evil ways were simple. while i can't wait to get to heaven, i don't want to accelerate the process of getting there by clogging my arteries with Oreo Filling. And while I have no guarantee of tomorrow, i don't want my last tomorrow to come sooner than expected because i just had to go back for one more round of helpings. i still have a strong desire to perform my children's marriages, become a grandparent, and eventually be the crazy old man who is always shaking his cane angrily at the paper boy for constantly throwing the daily into the shrubbery. A steady diet of pizza, Mountain Dew, and Ben & Jerry's almost certainly circumvents those hopes and dreams.
I also believe that the healthier I live, the more effective in ministry i will be. i believe a testimony of moderation and self control is hampered by the witness of always having a Double Whopper being crammed into my piehole, or piling on so much food at the covered dish suppers that the widows go home hungry and my plate needs sideboards. and it's almost impossible to share the life-giving message of Jesus Christ if I'm clutching my chest and sucking for air like Nemo on the dentist's utensil tray.
i've yet to sign up. why? two reasons. one -- i've taken my bmi and it's telling me something that if it were a human, i would've smacked it upside the head for saying. i already know i'm not in the best shape and I know there's room for improvement, but i wouldn't say i'm as bad off as it claims. i don't require additional seating in theaters and airplanes, i don't shop at Omar the Tentmaker's Tall and Good Lord He's Coming This Way Store®, and my caloric intake is (i'm pretty certain) still less than half of the Dow index (even if were to have a VERY bad day). In fact, according to the bmi, i'd have to get to 195 lbs (a weight i haven't seen since my freshman year in college, before i got into weighlifting), just to be at the high end of "normal." But my bigger fear of signing up, which i acknowledge is simple pride, is the fear of actually succeeding.
I dread the email that goes to all of our 400 employees that says something like: "The September winners for Shop, drop, and roll include Bryan McAnally in AME. This former fatty patty two by four who couldn't get through the bathroom door dropped an amazing 2.2 BMI points. Way to Go Bryan, you obese tub of goo!!"
I've been trying to live more healthy for a little while now -- nearly eliminating all carbonated beverages, greatly reducing caffiene intake, refraining from eating an entire pie in one sitting....you know, the little things. and i feel better because of it. but what's sad is that we (as a group at NAMB) aren't mooooootivated by the spiritual commands to treat our bodies like the temple of the Living God, but throw some money at us, and all of sudden everybody's eating carrot sticks and taking the stairs instead of the elevators.
listen, my motivations for changing my evil ways were simple. while i can't wait to get to heaven, i don't want to accelerate the process of getting there by clogging my arteries with Oreo Filling. And while I have no guarantee of tomorrow, i don't want my last tomorrow to come sooner than expected because i just had to go back for one more round of helpings. i still have a strong desire to perform my children's marriages, become a grandparent, and eventually be the crazy old man who is always shaking his cane angrily at the paper boy for constantly throwing the daily into the shrubbery. A steady diet of pizza, Mountain Dew, and Ben & Jerry's almost certainly circumvents those hopes and dreams.
I also believe that the healthier I live, the more effective in ministry i will be. i believe a testimony of moderation and self control is hampered by the witness of always having a Double Whopper being crammed into my piehole, or piling on so much food at the covered dish suppers that the widows go home hungry and my plate needs sideboards. and it's almost impossible to share the life-giving message of Jesus Christ if I'm clutching my chest and sucking for air like Nemo on the dentist's utensil tray.
i've been doing the c&p cha-cha so much
i just decided to add the daily christian quote to my site. it should give a new one every day.
health insurance
email c&p:
A man suffered a serious heart attack and had an open heart bypass surgery.
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic hospital.
As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he was going to pay for his treatment.
She asked if he had health insurance.
He replied, in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked if he had money in the bank. He replied, "No money in the bank."
The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you?"
He said, "I only have a spinster sister, who is a nun."
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."
The patient replied, "So, send the bill to my brother-in-law."
another reason why i love the internet
thanks to promoguy.net, i learned of microsoft's e-book giveaway. where they're giving away 20 free e-books over 20 weeks. I don't know how many weeks i've missed, but i downloaded the most recent three books, as well as encarta's dictionary, an english-to-spanish and spanish-to-english dictionaries.
you have to load their reader, and activate it through its passport. but then it's free reading.
you have to load their reader, and activate it through its passport. but then it's free reading.
umm...what i meant to say was
yesterday, before my conference:
man: hi, my name is fred.
me: hi fred, i'm bryan. very pleased to meet you.
manfred: when do we start
me: in about 10 minutes.
fred: good. i've got enough time to go the bathroom.
me: don't worry. I think i'll be going right behind you.
fred:
(note: the previous photo is not of fred. it is merely a representation of the awe-filled shock he conveyed at the thought of what i said.)
man: hi, my name is fred.
me: hi fred, i'm bryan. very pleased to meet you.
me: in about 10 minutes.
fred: good. i've got enough time to go the bathroom.
me: don't worry. I think i'll be going right behind you.
fred:
(note: the previous photo is not of fred. it is merely a representation of the awe-filled shock he conveyed at the thought of what i said.)
9/09/2003
my day...in a nutshell
i'm off back to "heart movers" conference.
as soon as my conference is over, I'm packing up and hitting the highway east to Dayton.
back on a plane, heading home.
reuniting, and looking forward to an important (in a good way) conversation with my son.
i'll blog about it soon, i'm sure.
as soon as my conference is over, I'm packing up and hitting the highway east to Dayton.
back on a plane, heading home.
reuniting, and looking forward to an important (in a good way) conversation with my son.
i'll blog about it soon, i'm sure.
shocking...to make a point
the following anecdote found its way into my inbox. I want to alert my more gentle readers that it may seem a little shocking at first, but if you read all the way through, you'll find it's not what it seems.
this story (true or not, i don't know) introduces another annoyance. and i don't really want to be the grumpy guy who rants all the time, but i guess this is just one of those road trips where i'm easily triggered. this annoyance is the proclivity we (as Americans) seem to be developing to drop the "hard h."
I tell you the truth, it's like a cheese grater rubbing against my inner ear when I hear a pastor say things like "an 'umble attitude." Why he suddenly became Eliza Doolittle, I'll never understand. "Just you wait, 'enry 'iggins!"
Swallowing the h is inconsistant at best, because the pastor will say you "h"ave to be 'umble, but need a spirit of "h"umility. I've "h"eard of H-town be referred to as U-ston, which makes no sense to me whatsoever. And this doesn't even broach the subject of a previously mentioned (again, no permalink...too "h"orribly lazy) dichotomy between "h"erb and 'erb.
reminds me of an old joke....what was the most talked-about body part in the 1960s?
the ear.
as in... < bong hit > < hold the smoke > < pass the doobie > 'ere. < /pass the doobie > < /hold the smoke > < /bong hit >
yeah...not all jokes translate well to the internet.
anyway, I am "H- proud."
hot means warm. 'Ot means should.
hell is a bad place. 'ell is a letter 4 steps down from 'h,' or a supermodel.
he is a boy. 'e is a letter 3 steps up from 'h.'
her is a girl. 'er is a mumbler in action
don't be ashamed of the h. he is here to help.
and remember, the rain in spain falls mainly on the plain.
When Charles deGaulle decided to retire from public life, the British ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honor. At the dinner table, the Ambassador's wife was talking with Madame deGaulle: "Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such a presence on the French and international scene for so many years! How quiet retirement will seem in comparison. What are you most looking forward to in these retirement years?"
"A penis," replied Madame deGaulle.
A huge hush fell over the table. Everyone heard her answer... and no one knew what to say next.
Le Grand Charles leaned over to his wife and said, "Ma cherie, I believe ze English pronounce zat word, 'appiness!'"
this story (true or not, i don't know) introduces another annoyance. and i don't really want to be the grumpy guy who rants all the time, but i guess this is just one of those road trips where i'm easily triggered. this annoyance is the proclivity we (as Americans) seem to be developing to drop the "hard h."
I tell you the truth, it's like a cheese grater rubbing against my inner ear when I hear a pastor say things like "an 'umble attitude." Why he suddenly became Eliza Doolittle, I'll never understand. "Just you wait, 'enry 'iggins!"
Swallowing the h is inconsistant at best, because the pastor will say you "h"ave to be 'umble, but need a spirit of "h"umility. I've "h"eard of H-town be referred to as U-ston, which makes no sense to me whatsoever. And this doesn't even broach the subject of a previously mentioned (again, no permalink...too "h"orribly lazy) dichotomy between "h"erb and 'erb.
reminds me of an old joke....what was the most talked-about body part in the 1960s?
the ear.
as in... < bong hit > < hold the smoke > < pass the doobie > 'ere. < /pass the doobie > < /hold the smoke > < /bong hit >
yeah...not all jokes translate well to the internet.
anyway, I am "H- proud."
hot means warm. 'Ot means should.
hell is a bad place. 'ell is a letter 4 steps down from 'h,' or a supermodel.
he is a boy. 'e is a letter 3 steps up from 'h.'
her is a girl. 'er is a mumbler in action
don't be ashamed of the h. he is here to help.
and remember, the rain in spain falls mainly on the plain.
another acknowledgment
yes, i am one of the few who actually use the hotel soap and shampoo, rather than sweeping them into my "personals bag" to bring home and store in a closet until the holidays, where i give them away as a stocking stuffer.
you know who you are, and this is exactly one of the reasons why i love you.
(note: any inference that the previous reference was one to my bride would in fact be an incorrect inference.)
you know who you are, and this is exactly one of the reasons why i love you.
(note: any inference that the previous reference was one to my bride would in fact be an incorrect inference.)
and another thing
it annoys me that espn announcers are now forced to pimp their new dredge "Playmakers" on their Sports Center shows. I've seen On Any Given Sunday. I don't need to watch it's low-rent slutty cousin.
And then they pitch it on over to Sean Salisbury, who's standing on the fake football field wearing his tie. and holding a football. fake pumping to the camera, like he's waiting for me to get around the standing lamp to be open in the living room flat. All we need now is Terry Tate to come and flatten me with a clothesline tackle.
yeah, i watch entirely too much espn while on the road.
And then they pitch it on over to Sean Salisbury, who's standing on the fake football field wearing his tie. and holding a football. fake pumping to the camera, like he's waiting for me to get around the standing lamp to be open in the living room flat. All we need now is Terry Tate to come and flatten me with a clothesline tackle.
yeah, i watch entirely too much espn while on the road.
i confess
yes, i did misspell "ties" in my previous entry. i really was that tired. yes, i am too proud to leave in the error. please forgive me for everything.
9/08/2003
annoying beyond words
i really cannot stand when these football studio teams vacate their safe behind-the-desk locales for the pathetic pale-green-paint-on-the-floorboard that is supposed to represent a football field. Then they only exarcerbate the misfortune by attempt to recreate football strategy 3-on-3 style.
fellas...puhleese. it's an embarrasment to you and a vacuous experience to us. whenever i see the guys wearing ties eagerly jump from their seats like they're about to be the JV practice squad as the upcoming opponent of the varsity, my heart breaks justalittlebit more for them, ashamed that these former pros are willing to hold on to an anvil as their fame plummets even further. then i push the remote and go watch their competition.
fellas...puhleese. it's an embarrasment to you and a vacuous experience to us. whenever i see the guys wearing ties eagerly jump from their seats like they're about to be the JV practice squad as the upcoming opponent of the varsity, my heart breaks justalittlebit more for them, ashamed that these former pros are willing to hold on to an anvil as their fame plummets even further. then i push the remote and go watch their competition.
now on comedy central
perhaps one of the funniest skits of Saturday Night Live. ever.
words cannot justify it, so I give you the photo:
words cannot justify it, so I give you the photo:
cher v.2.0
celine dion.
i momentarily considered identifying celine as barbra streisand 3.0, with cher being v.2.0 of babs. but then i decided that mrs. brolin was an altogether different sort of virulent worm. these three performers have two things in common. 1) i cannot stand them, as entertainers or as pretentious spotlight-soakers and 2) my dear mother loves them. while i'm perfectly willing to let my bias be a factor in what you think about me, please don't let my mother's bias influence what you think about her.
(Presurfer is responsible for the link.)
i momentarily considered identifying celine as barbra streisand 3.0, with cher being v.2.0 of babs. but then i decided that mrs. brolin was an altogether different sort of virulent worm. these three performers have two things in common. 1) i cannot stand them, as entertainers or as pretentious spotlight-soakers and 2) my dear mother loves them. while i'm perfectly willing to let my bias be a factor in what you think about me, please don't let my mother's bias influence what you think about her.
(Presurfer is responsible for the link.)
25 simple questions
these are not rhetorical.
do you really believe...
if you really do, are you living proof of it?
do you really believe...
Jesus is God's Son?
Jesus is God?
He cannot possibly love you any more than He does right this very moment?
You are responsible to be radically in love with everyone you meet?
The way you show this radical love is to sacrificially serve them?
God is your biggest fan?
He has already given you everything necessary to overcome temptation?
You are not a slave to your flesh?
When you eanestly pray, He hears you?
He will grow your faith if you live by the faith He has already provided?
He determined before time began that the events you face today are designed to bring Him glory and to make Him known?
You are not alone?
Sunday morning has nothing, nothing, nothing to do with what you like, prefer, or want?
Nor does any other day of the week?
If the desires of your heart align with His will, you'll always get what you like, prefer, and want?
Jesus will return?
He will gather His bride, the church?
He will swiftly & aptly judge all unrighteousness?
There is no unrighteousness found in those who are His by faith?
Knowing the truth of the previous question should guide your conduct toward godliness?
There is no righteousness found in those who are not His by faith?
Knowing the truth of the previous question should guide your faith toward Jesus?
You are not guaranteed a second chance?
His return could happen in the very next moment?
if you really do, are you living proof of it?
intercessors wanted
in my inbox today:
will you take a moment and pray?
Just got home from a 24 hour stint with a man in our church and his apartment neighbor. She is an alchoholic that asked for help getting sober. We went through the withdrawl period with her and led her into a relationship with Jesus. It was an amazing evening, given the fact that the apartment is next to the local tavern where all of her biker buddies were partying. Pray for Mackayla to solidify her new faith with the strength to remain sober and for God to meet her many needs (on the verge of being homeless).
will you take a moment and pray?
sung to the tune of a b c d e f g....
i recently commented on somebody's blog (i'm too lazy to find out where...sorry, but I think i linked to the entry via blogs for God) that the correct ending for the a b c song is "next time won't you sing with me." anyone who is teaching their child or beloved little one to sing "tell me what you think of me," is educating the tot to be either egocentric, or just inviting a problem.
that said, I'm stealing this meme from mom2all to tell you the abc's of me....not that you really give a hoot, but i guess i haven't indulged in enough self-disclosure lately. please excuse my late-night-i-hate-to-go-to- bed-at-hotels-mind set.
Age- 372 1/2 months
Best Quality- my unsurpassed humility in the face of much deserved recognition
Choice of Desert- the sahara...or the Mohave, but definitely not the white sands...its a long story. i don't know why this is important, though.
Day- February 29, i don't know why
Expression- unbridled joy.
Favorite Food- well, i don't like to play favorites...but i've always been preferable to the ones i regularly consume.
Greatest accomplishment- sharing the spotlight with Maria Shriver Schwarzenegger
Happiest Day of your life- July 19, 1976. Nobody has a 4th birthday that crazy, trust me.
Internal Conflicts- i before e, except after when?
Job- good guy...bad run of luck.
Kool-aide flavor- in 8th grade i learned that they all burn when you snort them, so it really doesn't matter.
Love- it's what the world needs now.
Most Valued thing I own- evander's ear flap.
Number- 867-5309
Outfit you love- a kicky liberace-style smoking jacket with matching kulats.
Pizza toppings- hot fudge, whip cream and chopped peanuts.
Quest. you want to ask the most- Do you feel lucky punk? Well, do ya?
Read- fo-net-ix 4 dummees
Sport to watch- emmanuel lewis...he always seemed like a good sport.
Television Show- i enjoy those infomercials for the Phillip's Flat Screens
Under Construction- i don't know what this means
Volcanos scary or cool- really, neither. they're spouting masses of molten earth.
Winter- is one of the 4 seasons.
X-rays - reveal your inner workings
Yesterdays best meal- is really no different than anything else...in the end.
Zodiac sign- crustacean crossing.
that said, I'm stealing this meme from mom2all to tell you the abc's of me....not that you really give a hoot, but i guess i haven't indulged in enough self-disclosure lately. please excuse my late-night-i-hate-to-go-to- bed-at-hotels-mind set.
Age- 372 1/2 months
Best Quality- my unsurpassed humility in the face of much deserved recognition
Choice of Desert- the sahara...or the Mohave, but definitely not the white sands...its a long story. i don't know why this is important, though.
Day- February 29, i don't know why
Expression- unbridled joy.
Favorite Food- well, i don't like to play favorites...but i've always been preferable to the ones i regularly consume.
Greatest accomplishment- sharing the spotlight with Maria Shriver Schwarzenegger
Happiest Day of your life- July 19, 1976. Nobody has a 4th birthday that crazy, trust me.
Internal Conflicts- i before e, except after when?
Job- good guy...bad run of luck.
Kool-aide flavor- in 8th grade i learned that they all burn when you snort them, so it really doesn't matter.
Love- it's what the world needs now.
Most Valued thing I own- evander's ear flap.
Number- 867-5309
Outfit you love- a kicky liberace-style smoking jacket with matching kulats.
Pizza toppings- hot fudge, whip cream and chopped peanuts.
Quest. you want to ask the most- Do you feel lucky punk? Well, do ya?
Read- fo-net-ix 4 dummees
Sport to watch- emmanuel lewis...he always seemed like a good sport.
Television Show- i enjoy those infomercials for the Phillip's Flat Screens
Under Construction- i don't know what this means
Volcanos scary or cool- really, neither. they're spouting masses of molten earth.
Winter- is one of the 4 seasons.
X-rays - reveal your inner workings
Yesterdays best meal- is really no different than anything else...in the end.
Zodiac sign- crustacean crossing.
9/07/2003
rdbe #1
another first in what will likely be a short-lived recurring feature.
rdbe=random disturbing blog entry.
winning entry:
we can only hope sparky is an animal of some sort.
rdbe=random disturbing blog entry.
winning entry:
Sparky has been licking his incision, and it has opened up about 1/8" for about 3/4 of an inch.
we can only hope sparky is an animal of some sort.
an unfinished entry from my trip to colorado
i remembered i had written this while on my recent colorado trip. then i forgot that i remembered. then i remembered that i had forgotten that i had remembered. then i....
anyway, here's the unfinished effort:
anyway, here's the unfinished effort:
Traveling to colorado.
My trip to Denver was what most people would call uneventful. But I’m not most people, and I like to retell even the mundane in such a way that it makes my life seem much more interesting than theirs.
Kelli and the kids took me to the Swift shuttle service where I was picked up on time and dropped off on the other side of Atlanta at 7:50 a.m. Apparently, my fears of being late were unfounded. I suppose that’s why Paul is the nice foreign man who owns a million dollar shuttle service and I am the ignorant guy doing all the second-guessing.
When I got to the ticket counter to check in and get my boarding pass, I went straight to the automatic check-in terminals that are the recent innovation in airline travel. I love these things, typically. Confessionally, I have heretofore only used the Delta terminals, and this was a United terminal. Well, I naively went about my business, assuming that it would be just like Delta’s. And when I had completed, I was immediately concerned because I was not offered an opportunity to check any luggage. Upon further review, I had gone to a terminal for passengers without checked luggage. My second mistake was assuming it would be no big deal to get this error rectified. (note: it is a casual observation that this word "rectified" has much in common with other words that begin with the same four letters…it must be a latin derivation…I’ll explore this later. Not really, but it makes me look more industrious to at least say I will). Anyway, when I get to the front of the line, a United employee beckoned me forward and I began explaining my mistake. She said, and I’m not exaggerating, “Well it looks like someone didn’t read the clear instructions, did they?”
I looked over her shoulder for the blackboard where I’d soon be writing my fifty sentences.
I momentarily considered pretending to be an offended illiterate, but I thought that would surely come back to bite me later on if I did so. Instead, I sheepishly said, “no, I guess someone didn’t.” And then with a sigh that signaled she was about to undertake a herculean effort equivalent to stopping an airborne 747 by tossing her magic lasso at it, she breathily said, “let’s see what we can do.”
Well move over Helen Keller, because we have a new Miracle Worker on our hands. Ten seconds later she had my bag added to the tally and I was on my way to the gate. By the way, you can now lock your bags before X-ray, you just have to stay by the machine while they’re being examined. If you attempt to run while your bag is being X-rayed, you will likely quickly discover that this action doesn’t conform to established protocol.
I boarded my plane with no difficulty, only to discover that my seat at 17-D was already occupado. Once I confirmed that he was not in fact a United Professional Seat Warmer, I whipped out my ticket stub and in Superman-esque fashion announced, “I’m ticketed for that seat.”
Little did I know he had the kryptonite in his hot little hand. “So am I!” he replied, making my Superman voice sound more like Shadow Stevens, which really If you think about it, is just not very cool. He passed on my offers to leg, arm, and thumb wrestle for the seat, and I on his offer to openly debate for it. Instead, he pushed the little button that goes “ding” and initiates a pavlovian response by the flight attendant who will lovingly but brusquely ask, “what do you want?”
It actually took three rings before she came, and by the time she actually arrived, I was being spoken of as “That Guy Who is Holding Up the Line.” But I literally was a man with little options. I tried stepping aside into a vacant row, but soon somebody had a ticket for that one, so I went to another. Then those occupants arrived. Finally, I just planted my two carry-ons (which turned out to be no problem to get through security – they checked my laptop, but just scanned my two projectors) and figured, if I make everyone cranky, maybe they’ll get this resolved. And its not like I could have barged my way upward like a salmon fighting toward headwaters.
She returned to announce, “Bryan McAnally is the occupant of 17-D!” The other guy belonged in 17-A but had a misprinted ticket.
“HA! IN YOUR FACE!” (is not what) I said to him.
The flight occupants were just slightly more irritated by me as I did three quick victory laps around the 747, only to re-enter and magnanimously state, “You stay here, I’ll go up to a vacant row.”
It turns out that nobody was sitting in row 9, an emergency row. So I sat in the aisle seat, put my magazines in the center seat, and then made sure my imaginary friend Wallabee was secured in his window seat.
As I got myself settled, I could feel the searing gaze of 100 pairs of eyes boring into my back. The rest of the flight occupants were clearly sizing me up, seeing if I were up to the task if things suddenly turned into an emergency. Would I calmly and coolly assess the situation, open the door, and lead the people to safety, or would I begin screaming like the Gedarene Demoniac, open the door and jump out of the opening, leaving the rest of them to their own desperate fate?
All this pressure weighed heavily on me. So I leaned back and fell immediately into a very deep sleep. This, no doubt, comforted all those anxious spirits behind me.
I was awakened only when the flight attendant valiantly attempted to dislocate my forearm from the rest of my body by the graceful act of slamming the beverage cart into it as forcefully as possible. I yelped like a yelping yelper in a yelping contest and shrunk back into my aisle.
Luckily, she awoke me just in time to watch Anger Management. I think this was the funny version of Punch Drunk Love. In fact, what I think happened was that they took all the unfunny, uninteresting, unappealing cutting-room floor edits from AM and let some film school flunkee put it together into a “dramatic vehicle” for Sandler. I noticed though, that they edited AM. Even though I didn’t see it during it’s theatrical release, I seem to remember a scene involving a taser and a flight attendant. This scene was suspiciously absent from the United Airlines Edit. No sense in riling up the penned-in masses, I suppose.
weary from the travel
arrived in dayton without incident. enjoyed the drive west on i-70, watching the setting sun shimmer off the yellowed corn husks. must be up high enough north that cool nights are beginning to have an effect on the landscape. had ambitions of seeing a movie tonight. instead i'm just watching the Titans and the Raiders, hoping i can stay awake long enough to see highlights of the broncos win.
plummer stinks
portis rocks.
to me, that spells 8 and 8.
and the buffs won again.
barely.
i'm rambling.
plummer stinks
portis rocks.
to me, that spells 8 and 8.
and the buffs won again.
barely.
i'm rambling.
sung to the tune of indianapolis
Got a tow from a guy named Joe
Cost sixty dollars hope I don't run out of dough
Told me bout a sex offense 'put him three days in jail
Stuck in Indianapolis, hope I live to tell the tale
[Chorus]
Can't go west, can't go east
I'm stuck in Indianapolis with a fuel pump that's deceased
Ten days on the road now I'm four hours from my home town
Is this hell or Indianapolis with no way to get around
Called my girl to tell her of the trouble that I'd had
First time I called her in ten days, guess that made her mad
Far as she's concerned I belong in this Hoosier state
Stuck in Indianapolis with no way to set things straight
[Chorus]
Sitting in this bar is getting more than I can stand
If I could catch a ride I really think I'd ditch this van
Who knows what this repair will cost, scared to spend a dime
I'll puke if that jukebox plays John Cougar one more time
If I ever leave here I hope never to return
If I get that van back, Man, the road I'm gonna burn
Right now my future's in the hand of them boys down at Firestone
Stuck in Indianapolis feeling all alone
[Chorus]
Is this hell or Indianapolis with no way to get around
can you tell where Delta Flight 1517 is taking me today?
well, you'd be surprised to learn (or maybe not) that I'm flying to Dayton, Ohio, where I'll be driving into Indianapolis.
It's about $900 cheaper to do it this way, rather than flying in direct.
I'll be returning Tuesday evening.
I'm really looking forward to this trip, despite the unfortunate lyrics of The Bottle Rockets. I'll be leading a couple sessions for the Indiana Baptists' Heart Movers missions and evangelism conference. I'm also going to do a little advance work for our annual national convention which will be back in Indy during June 2004.
Even so, air travel on Sunday is for the birds. literally.
a missions moment
these ten infobytes from the caleb project serve as a strong, tight visual packaging of essential missions information. view them and pass it along to others.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
