cotterism

last night we celebrated Kaylyn's birthday early, since I'll be out of town.

We ended the evening at Village Inn, ordering pie.

He didn't much care for his triple berry pie, given that it had, according to him, poisonberries in it. Despite my best efforts to convince him it was boysenberries, he remained unconvinced. He ended up eating my lemon supreme pie, having to literally pull the pucker off his face with his hands.

brilliance

the other night, I picked up a toy of Kelsi's - a little rubber giraffe (part of a 'Noah's ark' set) that has a hole on the bottom to make it more squeezable -- and I squoze it and applied to to my forehead. This act elicited much laughter from my three children. Apparently, I left it there a bit too long. Now I'm going to be the guy at the EPA with a hickey on my forehead.

being colossus was not an option

You are Cyclops!

You are attractive and strong, in a boy scout
republican sort of way. You are set firm in
your beliefs, which is not necessarily a bad
thing. But often when faced with a conflicting
opinion you become defensive and angry and
prone to conflict. You like to be a leader,
but you must acknowledge that there are some
situations which others are better fit to deal
with than yourself.


Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

I will likely go see this movie this week, since I'm going solo. Colossus was always my favorite XMan, and gets a bit of a role in this movie. Turns to steel amidst conflict. That's definitely who I really am.

sung to the tune of leaving on a jet plane.

except I know I'll be back on Friday night.

Heading for Atlanta today for the Evangelical Press Association annual confab. I'll probably be in the office a bit, but most my week will be at the Atlanta Marriot.

wahoo!

my subscription is finally going out! It should be in your inbox like clockwork.

just an average joe

according to the pbs snob-ometer, I'm a 50% snob. which, by inferential deduction means I'm also 50% redneck trailertrash.

I can live with that. How'd you fare?

and now, for free

play solitaire with the deck 'o death.

stop drop and roll

If you'll notice to the right, I have a new icon atop my icon list. The little green one with the guy dashing for the door? It is the web fire escape, for those of you who risk satisfying your 'clarity' jonze at work. Clicking on it will take you to a much more productive-looking place. if you follow this link, you can place a cookie on your computer designating your own escape destination.

disclaimer: management does not endorse workplace nonproductivity. The "fire escape" icon is for entertainment purposes only. we claim no responsibility for any trouble you may get yourself into for being a slacker.

and this is the bathroom...

our real estate agent is arriving today with a photographer for a "virtual tour" of our home. So we spent last evening cleaning like mad, although I'm pretty sure he/she won't stop the camera to capture images of smudges on the wall (not that there were any, our home is a tremendous testimony to my bride's organizational, upkeep gifts -- and my effort not to drag her down).

I'm looking forward to the increased exposure that will help sell the place, but I'm just a little fearful that we're showing everybody who wants to look, just what is available for burglary.

So don't get any shifty ideas. We live across the street from a federal corrections officer who sleeps light and has occasional bouts with post-traumatic stress from Vietnam, which causes him to go on nightly neighborhood patrols searching for Charlie. You don't want any of that, trust me.

proverbs #79

it is easier to go down a hill than up it, but the view is from the top.

inspiration

remember, 'stressed' spelled backward is 'desserts.'

a sad, cautionary tale

an obit of a young writer, dead from anorexia.

Proposing Eating Tasty Animals

The Ville, who, like me, envisions an annual PETA celebration highlighted by feasting on a baby cow slow roasted over a pit fire, followed by a rare-duck egg hunt and a dessert of milk chocolate souffle, links to animalscam, which reveals PETAs nefarious underpinnings. Read and be enlightened. Then go out for the barbecue sampler at your local cookery, washing it down with a ice cold glass of milk.

PETA -- its what's for dinner.

signs of the impending apocalypse #39

while I commonly take a lighthearted approach to this regular posting, the following makes me want to throw up in my Lucky Charms.
It also came from my pastor's weekly briefing, and was confirmed here:

Patricia Ireland, the woman who presided over the National Organization for Women for a decade and whose "major contributions included organizing NOW activists to defend women's access to abortion," has been chosen as the new chief executive officer of the Young Women's Christian Association. Andrea Lafferty, executive director of the Traditional Values Coalition, called the appointment "disgusting," pointing to reports that Ireland had carried on a homosexual relationship while married to her husband.
"This organization was started by a religious revival, ...by Godly women, and the original intent has been totally perverted," she added.

For those of you unfamiliar with Ireland, here's a few words, straight from her own mouth. If you agree with these, then you've likely stumbled onto my site for all the wrong reasons.

"There are few people in this country who are as out as I am. I have a husband, and I have a woman companion. There is an obsession with trying to define women by their sexuality. People don't know how to deal with you if they can't define your sexuality. I'm just perverse enough to like that." -- 1993

"Consensual sex with a White House intern is an abuse of power by the president; but consensual sex is not illegal harassment and it is not an impeachable offense. Nor is it in the best interest of our country for the president to resign."

"Promise Keeper leaders say they're encouraging men to take responsibility, but they're really exhorting men to take control. Their literature and their rhetoric call for an authoritarian, theocratic society where Christian men control everything, including women."

this list could go on and on, but let's just suffice it to say that the new leader of the YWCA is not going to be terribly concerned with having the 'C' in their acronym stand for Christianity.

note: as an interesting aside, while looking for Ireland's drivel, I found this very good website for *real* feminists to visit.

farewell and fare well

a BP article on Southwestern seminary president Hemphill's final chapel address.

GWB NDOP proclamation

(from my pastor's weekly briefing from Focus on the Family)

PRESIDENT PROCLAIMS NATIONAL DAY OF PRAYER

In a press release issued by the White House on Wednesday, President Bush proclaimed May 1 as a National Day of Prayer, calling on citizens of the United States "to pray, each after his or her own faith, in thanksgiving for the freedoms and blessings we have received and for God's continued guidance and protection."

The proclamation also stated, "Today, our Nation is strong and prosperous. Our Armed Forces have achieved great success on the battlefield, but challenges still lie ahead. Prayer will not make our path easy, yet prayer can give us strength and hope for the journey. As we continue to fight against terror, we ask the Almighty to protect all those who battle for freedom throughout the world."

looking for some light reading?

came across this blog for Howard "I'm not going to win the presidency in my wildest dreams" Dean.

Within its entries, I came across this quote of Dean's that exemplifies why this man should be kept as far away from the oval office as possible. Dean:

told an audience in New Hampshire that the United States "won't always have the strongest military,"

not if he's commander-in-chief, that is. Instead, he wants to enact "socially enlightened policies" from the pixie-ish Department of Peace he hopes to organize and overfund. I can't believe anybody is interested in voting for a person who is advocating defeatist policies, looking forward to the day we can be somebody else's doormat.

His statements were so outrageous that even Sen. John "Heinz 57 Flavors of anti-american pacifism" Kerry called Dean to the carpet, an act that would have been labeled as "questioning his patriotism" if it had occured by a Republican. Kerry was clear to remind everyone that he was a Vietnam veteran, which apparently qualifies him to make an untold number of moronic statements regardnig military policy.

el cinco de Mayo

the fifth of May is significant for a couple of reasons.

first and foremost, it is on this date six years ago, that my eldest child, the exquisitely feminine,laydlike and demure Kaylyn Marie McAnally entered this world, four weeks earlier than expected, and has blessed us daily ever since.

a little lower on our list of priorities is the cinco de Mayo celebration, the annual Mexican celebration.

The White House has announced that it will not be having a cinco de Mayo celebration at the White House this year, but has assured that it is not cancelling the fiesta in retribution for Mexico's siesta during Operation Iraqi Freedom.

The WSJ Best of the Web has wisely noted that the Crawford Ranch East should reconsider, since the celebration commemorates the victory of Mexican soldiers over the French at the 1862 Battle of Puebla. Any day that highlights the sad history of cheese-eating, wine-swilling surrender monkeys is a good day to me.

This reminds me of the two Frenchmen who decided they wanted to start a bungee-jumping business in Mexico. They agreed that Pierre would buy a hot air balloon and bungee-jumping equipment and take them to Mexico City, run the business for a week, and then return with a report on whether or not Jean Claude should join him.

After only two days, Pierre arrived back in Paris, bloodied, swollen, and beaten, barely able to walk. "Sacre Bleu," Jean Claude cried. "what happened? Was business that bad?"

"Non," Pierre replied. "Business was tremendous. I set up the balloon in the middle of the city square and quickly drew a crowd. They all let out a cheer when I plunged from the balloon with the cord attached to my ankle. But tell me, Pierre, what is this pinata they keep talking about?"

proverbs #78

there is no use arguing with the inevitable. the only argument with the north wind is to put on your overcoat.

throwin' a bone to the geeks out there

the previous post was the culmination of scanning a document into my lexmark printer, and then using recognition software to read the scan and translate it into text, which was then transferred to the blog. It was pretty accurate except for a couple periods replace by hyphens. Amazing.

Lord, teach us to pray

This comes from the back of the Stand Firm itinerary supplied to participants last week in Houston. It is appropriate for the day of prayer, and every day that follows it until the end of time.

31 DAILY PETITIONS
(Use the following list to pray for yourself, your children, and your grandchildren.)
1 Angels' protection. "For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways" (Psalm 91:11).
2. A genuine conversion. "From infancy you have know the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus" (2 Timothy 3:15).
3. A sense of destiny. "For I know the plans I have for you/ declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'" (Jeremiah 29:11).
4. Grow in faith. "Yet he (Abraham) did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what He had promised" (Romans 4:20-21).
5. Submission to God. "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship" (Romans 12:1).
6. Power over sin. "We died to sin: how can we live in it any longer?. ..For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace" (Romans 6:2,14).
7. Please God in everyway. "We pray this...that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work" (Colossians 1:10).
8. Respect for authority. "He who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted" (Romans 13:20).
9. Teachable spirit. "Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance...Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching" (Proverbs 1:5,8).
10. Increasing spiritual maturity. "Let us leave the elementary teachings about Christ and go on to maturity" (Hebrews 6:1).
11. Wisdom. "Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her" (Proverbs 8:10-11).
12. Discerning truth from error. "So give your servant a discerning heart.. .to distinguish between right and wrong" (1 Kings 3:9)
13. Integrity. "We have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially in our relations with you, in the holiness and sincerity that are from God" (2 Corinthians 1:12).
14. Moral Purity. "Flee from sexual immorality...Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit...?" (1 Corinthians 6:18-19).
15. Courage. "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go" (Joshua 1:9).
16. Perseverance. "Stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord...your labor in the Lord is not in vain" (1 Corinthians 15:58).
17. Self-discipline. "Train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come" (1 Timothy 4:7-8).
18. Usefulness to God. "Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ" (2 Peter 1:5-8).
19. A sensitive heart. "As God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience" (Colossians 3:12).
20. A cheerful heart. "A cheerful heart is good medicine" (Proverbs 17:22).
21. A serving heart. "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who.. .made Himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant" (Philippians 2:5-7).
22. A grateful heart. "Rejoice in the Lord, you who are righteous, and praise his holy name" (Psalm 97:12).
23. Perspective on possessions. "Godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that" (1 Timothy 6:6-8).
24. Pursuit of excellence. "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men" (Colossians 3:23).
25. Protection from the evil one. "My prayer is not that You take them out of the world but that You protect them from the evil one" (John 17:15).
26. Overcome Satan's temptation. "Because He Himself suffered when he was tempted, He is able to help those who are being tempted" (hebrews 2:18).
27. Avoid negative influences. "My son, if sinners entice you, do not give in to them...my son, do not go along with them, do not set foot on their paths" (Proverbs 1:10,15).
28. Godly friends. "Then Daniel returned to his house and explained the matter to his friends.. .He urged them to plead for mercy from the God of heaven... Then Nebuchadnezzar said, 'Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who...trusted in Him...and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God/" (Daniel 2:17-18, 3:28).
29. Godly life partner. "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14).
30. A consistent walk. "Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither" (Psalm 1:1-3).
31. Long, prosperous life. "My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity" (Proverbs 3:1-2).
This list appears on pages 84-85 in Shaping the Next Generation by David and Elaine Atchison.

today

is May 1, 2003

it is also the national day of prayer. So pray already. and don't stop. ever (1 Thess. 5:17).

it is also the one year anniversary of living in our home. our builder's warranty officially expired at midnight. which means something will break tomorrow.

If this doesn't tick you off, it should

The fact that the far-left liberals are entering into a simultaneous filibuster to block the nomination of a second Bush appointee, Judge Priscilla Owens. They are already circumventing the will of the majority by the effective fillibuster of judicial candidate Miguel Estrada.

I understand the filibuster is an accepted strategy, but not in the circumstance of the placement of federal bench openings. This goes against only 200 years of precedent. Both of these candidates received enough bipartisan support from the senators for confirmation, but the liberals are stiffening their necks and bullying the majority, in a legislative issue that requires only a simple majority, and not a supermajority.

This is a bipartisan problem. Our federal court vacancies are a pandemic problem. The judicial slate has fallen to a crawl, and the liberals are more concerned about keeping two fair-minded Constitutional constructionists off the bench than they are in equipping our judicial system apply the law of the land.

Democrats should be outraged at the actions of the leftist minority because they are establishing a dangerous precedent that will undoubtedly be repaid in spades at some future time when Dems are again in the majority [prayer]Lord, may that never happen[prayer].

Rather than just sit here reading about it, why don't you click on this link and give your senator the encouragement needed (like the threat of voting for the opponent in the next election), to help them advance justice, rather than playing obstructionist politics.

problem solved

I think we got everything working. Unfortunately, subscribers had to get a new email from bloglet telling you've been subscribed, but now things should work as originally planned. Until they don't, of course, and then we'll try again.

flingin' flangin' technology

my subscription didn't go out yesterday because of some ID10T user-end problem, although 20 people did subscribe to the new service. Soooo, I'm trying to figure this out. If anyone wants to help me understand xml and syndication better, I'm all ears.

verbatim

a cut & paste from Wall Street Journal's Best of the Web:

At the annual Space Congress in Cape Canaveral, Fla., NASA administrator Sean O'Keefe touted nuclear power as a means of propulsion for future interstellar space vehicles, the Associated Press reports:

NASA's past efforts to use nuclear power in space has met opposition from environmentalists. In 1997, hundreds of people protested the launching of the Cassini interplanetary robot craft, which was powered by plutonium.

If you think plutonium-powered robot craft are scary, get a load of this: There's an enormous thermonuclear generator located smack dab in the center of the solar system. It's called the sun. That's right, the sun is a weapon of mass destruction. We better send some U.N. inspectors there but quick.

that sound?

is the hissing from the swelling balloon of beaurocracy.

Presidential pretender wannabe Dennis "Kooky" Kucinich, is proposing the creation of a cabinet level position of "Secretary of Peace." The key is to educate America through "enlightened social policies."

The cynic in me assumes that the secretary's primary responsibility would be leading us to hate ourselves for being the most admired, respected, feared, and loathed country.

This costly failure-in-waiting has the potential endorsement of 46 other democrats. Strangely, no republicans have jumped on board of this sinking ship.

if being a democrat was outlawed, only outlaws would be democrats

Some left-wing gasbag is upset that Bush is president because Florida didn't allow its convicted felons to vote.

He claims that 80-85 percent of incarcerated felons are democrats, a demographic that isn't hard to understand. If I were convicted of a felony, I'd certainly align myself with the party that is more sympathetic to criminals. The fact that 43 states allow felons to vote is a shameful indictment upon the liberalism that has allowed us to stick a dagger in our own soft underbelly, primarily through the legislation enacted by wealthy socialist politicians living on ivory hills rarely affected by their own flawed decisions.

proverbs #77

sin is an ill guest, for it always sets its lodging on fire.

fox-worthy?

WIT has found an interesting list to help you identify if you are a liberal.

I, apparently, am not.

corrrrrection

with bloglet, you won't get an email for each post, you will just get one email with a 250-character summary for each and every post, and you can follow the ones that interest you.

the bloglet subscription service

if you subscribe to my blog via bloglet subscription (on the right column of my web page), you'll be redirected to the bloglet home page. You do not have to do anything further at that page! all you have to do is put in your email in the subscribe bar, and you're signed up!

announcement

I'm closing out my subscription service with Topica. I've instead opened a new subscription service with bloglet. The new service will bring the first 250 characters of a blog post to your email. This will hopefully help keep the clutter down. You'll still get an email for each post, but the volume won't be as large.

sorry for the inconvenience, but you gotta crack some eggs to make an omelette.

Kelsi update

the doctor decided to wait before operating on Kelsi's lip. She has now revised her diagnosis and had determined that it is not a blocked salivary duct, but instead is a hemangioma.

she's of the opinion that we should wait until we're in Atlanta where we can have the procedure done at the children's hospital there. So that's what we're going to do.

a point of order

an article via Baptist Press that tells of a North Carolina association that disfellowshipped a church for baptizing homosexuals.

the free market in action

I just received spam today selling the deck of death for only $5.95. This is just a couple short weeks removed from receiving spam that sold it for $14.95 and 19.99.

God bless America.

I guess the price is going down because now its only a partial deck.

blogging lite...yeah rite

taking Kelsi to the doctor this morning to have her lip looked at (she's got a blocked salivary duct that needs to be removed).

was there really any question?

My #1 result for the SelectSmart.com selector, World Leaders Selector, is George W. Bush - USA

my #2 result was ariel sharon, followed by tony blair.

I think this merits my being mentioned as part of The Coalition^TM

with a laser sight set on Truth

via CoTS....

Which Firearm are you? brought to you byStan Ryker

BTW, this was one of the better, more enjoyable quizzes, oddly enough.

this officially grosses me out

mayonnaise on the lid that turns all jelly-like and colorless.

A Krispy Kreme Jesus with a Spirit-Filled Center

a C&P parable received in my inbox:

There was a boy by the name of Steve who was attending school in Utah. Brother Christianson taught at this particular school. He had an open-door policy and would take in any student that had been thrown out of another class as long as they would abide by his rules. Steve had been kicked out of his sixth period and no other teacher wanted him, so he went into Brother Christianson's class.

Steve was told that he could not be late, so he arrived just seconds before the bell rang and he would sit in the very back of the room. He would also be the first to leave after the class was over.

One day, Brother Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he could talk with him. After class, Bro. Christianson pulled Steve aside and said, "You think you're pretty tough, don't you?"

Steve's answer was, "Yeah, I do."

Then Brother Christianson asked, "How many push-ups can you do?"

Steve said, "I do about 200 every night."

"200? That's pretty good, Steve," Brother Christianson said. "Do you think you could do 300?"

Steve replied, "I don't know... I've never done 300 at a time."

"Do you think you could?" Again asked Brother Christianson.

"Well, I can try," said Steve.

"Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I need you to do 300 in sets of ten for this to work. Can you do it? I need you to tell me you can do it," BrotherChristianson said.

Steve said, "Well... I think I can... yeah, I can do it."

Brother Christianson said, "Good! I need you to do this on Friday."

Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of the room. When class started, Brother Christianson pulled out a big box of donuts. Now these weren't the normal kinds of donuts, they were the extra fancy BIG kind, with cream centers and frosting swirls. Everyone was pretty excited - it was Friday, the last class of the day, and they were going to get an early start on the weekend.

Bro. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked, "Cynthia, do you want a donut?"

Cynthia said, "Yes."

Bro. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?"

Steve said, "Sure," and jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then Steve again sat in his desk. Bro. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia's desk.

Bro. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked, "Joe do you want a donut?"

Joe said, "Yes."

Bro. Christianson asked, "Steve would you do ten push-ups so Joe can have a donut?"

Steve did ten push-ups, Joe got a donut.

And so it went, down the first aisle, Steve did ten pushups for every person before they got their donut. And down the second aisle, till Bro. Christianson came to Scott.

Scott was captain of the football team and center of the basketball team. He was very popular and never lacking for female companionship. When Bro. Christianson asked, "Scott do you want a donut?"

Scott's reply was, "Well, can I do my own pushups?"

Bro. Christianson said, "No, Steve has to do them."

Then Scott said, "Well, I don't want one then."

Bro. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten pushups so Scott can have a donut he doesn't want?" Steve started to do ten pushups. Scott said, "HEY! I said I didn't want one!"

Bro. Christianson said, "Look, this is my classroom, my class, my desks, and my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don't want it." And he put a donut on Scott's desk.

Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He just stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much effort to be getting up and down. You could start to see a little perspiration coming out around his brow. Bro. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students were beginning to get a little angry.

Bro. Christianson asked Jenny, "Jenny, do you want a donut?"

Jenny said, "No."

Then Bro. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten pushups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn't want?" Steve did ten, Jenny got a donut.

By now, the students were beginning to say "No" and there were all these uneaten donuts on the desks. Steve was also having to really put forth a lot of effort to get these pushups done for each donut. There began to be a small pool of sweat on the floor beneath his face, his arms and brow were beginning to get red because of the physical effort involved.

Bro. Christianson asked Robert to watch Steve to make sure he did ten pushups in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all of Steve's work for all of those uneaten donuts. So Robert began to watch Steve closely.

Bro. Christianson started down the fourth row. During his class, however, some students had wandered in and sat along the heaters along the sides of the room. When Bro. Christianson realized this; he did a quick count and saw 34 students in the room. He started to worry if Steve would be able to make it.

Bo. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and the next. Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a rough time. He was taking a lot more time to complete each set.

Steve asked Bro. Christianson, "Do I have to make my nose touch on each one?"

Bro. Christianson thought for a moment, "Well, they're your pushups. You can do them any way that you want." And Bro. Christianson went on.

A few moments later, Jason came to the room and was about to come in when all the students yelled, "NO! Don't come in! Stay out!"

Jason didn't know what was going on. Steve picked up his head and said, "No, let him come."

Bro. Christianson said, "You realize that if Jason comes in you will have to do ten pushups for him."

Steve said, "Yes, let him come in."

Bro. Christianson said, "Okay, I'll let you get Jason's out of the way right now. Jason, do you want a donut?" "Yes."

"Steve, will you do ten pushups so that Jason can have a donut?"

Steve did ten pushups very slowly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered, was handed a donut and sat down.

Bro. Christianson finished the fourth row, then started on those seated on the heaters. Steve's arms were now shaking with each pushup in a struggle to lift himself against the force of gravity. Sweat was dropping off of his face and, by this time, there was not a dry eye in the room.

The very last two girls in the room were cheerleaders and very popular. Bro. Christianson went to Linda, the second to last, and asked, "Linda, do you want a doughnut?

Linda said, very sadly, "No thank you."

Bro. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten pushups so that Linda can have a donut she doesn't want?"

Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow pushups for Linda.

Then Bro. Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan. "Susan, do you want a donut?"

Susan, with tears flowing down her face, asked, "Bro. Christianson, can I help him?"

Bro. Christianson, with tears of his own, said, "No, he has to do it alone. Steve, would you do ten pushups so Susan can have a donut?"

As Steve very slowly finished his last pushup, with the understanding that he had accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350 pushups, his arms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor.

Brother Christianson turned to the room and said. "And so it was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ, plead to the Father, "Into thy hands I commend my spirit." With the understanding that He had done everything that was required of Him, he collapsed on the cross and died. And like some of those in this room, many of us leave the gift on the desk, uneaten."

our loss, Hawaii's gain

Baptist Press is reporting that Colorado Baptist General Convention director of church planting Veryl Henderson, is leaving to be the executive director of the Hawaii Baptist General Convention.

He's an awesome man of God and will be a great leader for the Aloha state.

proverbs #76

every effort made for the happiness of others lifts us above ourselves.

context

I was mildly incensed by Brett's comments that outgoing Southwestern seminary president Ken Hemphill "didn't do a good job." So, I decided to go digging and round up some background on the matter.

Hemphill's resignation
Marv Knox (TBS editor) April 14 editorial
Mark Wingfield (TBS editor) April 21 editorial
Hemphill responds to editorials

So, if my understanding is correct, for Hemphill to 'have done a bad job,' it was because he wasn't 'fundamental' enough, which seems to be opposite of Brett's gripe, that we Southern Baptists are 'too political.'

note: I searched the southern Baptists of Texas website, and the Fort Worth star telegram for related stories, but came up empty.

sbc flare-up

Jordon Cooper recently opened a Bag-O'Snakes^TM, by inviting people to respond & interact over a 'charged' editorial on the relationship between the SBC and our Presidential Leadership. The editorial was written by the son of a former professor at Southwestern Seminary, who departed over the issues that are commented upon in the editorial.

The editorial makes several accusations and draws many conclusions. Some are fair. Most are not. I'll list my reactions here, cross posting to a couple comments sections. You'll have to do a little web hunting to get all the context, but the links will all be provided herein. My disclaimer is this: I'm not an expert on SBC life, nor am I privy to the discussions that take place in the proverbial 'star chamber.' But I've been an SBC-oriented (and supporting) Christian ever since my salvation in 1993. I have held membership in five SBC churches in that time, have attended and graduated from an SBC seminary, have been employed as a newswriter for said seminary, have pastored for five years in 2 SBC churches, and now serve as an editor for an SBC missions-sending agency. With that stated, here's my reactions, comments:

1. As noted, the SBC is an autonomous denomination. This means every church is free to make its own decisions, which holds true the essence of religious liberty. Gentlemen like Dr. Graham, Dr. Land, Dr. Patterson, and others in denominational leadership are elected or appointed. And while the statements they make tend to be representative of the tone and attitude of the SBC, they are by no means binding upon any other church or organization within the SBC. Authoritative decisions and statements of the denomination are only made at the annual gathering (also known as the SBC), where proclamations are made (after a majority vote), and where denominational "sign posts" are planted, such as the 1998 & 2000 BFAM (the first major revisions since '63).

2. Any SBC church, as well as any SBC individual, is free to dissent from 'official' or 'unofficial' SBC statements made by leadership. In most circumstances, we simply agree to disagree, which again hearkens to the bell toll of liberty. Case in point: Many Texas Baptist churches have dual membership with 1 of 2 state conventions, as they individually determine their stand on the denominational issues: they can be a part of the BGCT, the historic state convention that is more embracing of moderate groups like the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship, or they can join the SBT, the new conservative state convention. Dr. Wolfe, of the SBT, recently told me at a national gathering of Baptist Men, (and this is a paraphrase) "We don't want to steal any church away from the BGCT. We're here as a state convention for those churches who don't agree with the leadership direction of the BGCT." In this regard, it is the local churches themselves, and not the denominational "higher ups" that determine cooperation and affiliation. In some circumstances, though, the disagreement is significant enough (such as in the case of the ordination of homosexuals) where individual churches are disfellowshipped from the SBC. Three points of order on this, though. First, the SBC is not saying that the churches cannot exist. They simply are saying that such church cannot exist as an SBC church, because that church's beliefs are so much in disagreement with the biblically-based, agreed-upon beliefs affirmed in the BFAM of the SBC. Second, decisions to disfellowship a church are most often made at the associational level (a self-determined level of autonomy wherein several regionally-proximal churches within a state's geographic area unite for the purpose of accomplishing mission). In some cases, disfellowship decisions are determined at the state level. Third, if disfellowship ever comes to the 'national level,' the way it would be handled, as I understand it, is that the SBC would simply not receive the financial gifts of a church whose theological stand was in disagreement with the stated beliefs of the SBC. Again, liberty is preserved because the church continues to function, but so is doctrinal purity, because it is no longer under the umbrella of SBC belief and polity.

3. Dr. Jerry Falwell has gained, and some say 'earned,' a reputation as a lightning rod for controversy. He has led his church to affiliate with the SBC. He is a prominent speaker, a vocal personality in world affairs. That said, he is just one pastor out of over 40,000+. He is just one voice out of over 16 million. While he holds more sway than, say, do I, he is not the pope, or even a cardinal in our denominational structure. Many SBC members would more likely be able to tell you who the executive director of their state convention is before they could tell you who our president is, because most of our churches work more hand-in-hand with the state leadership than with the national leadership.

4. The SBC is the most democratic of denominations, as far as I'm aware. The leadership is representative, not necessarily of everybody, but certainly of the majority. Dissenters have two options as they voice their own dissent. Organize and overcome, or separate and start anew. If I were in a situation where the SBC no longer represented my personal beliefs and convictions, I'd cease being a member of the SBC. But if they are my leaders, and I willfully align myself in the SBC, then my responsibility is to prayerfully support them, and imitate them as they imitate Christ, always maintaining my liberty in Christ as a priest and a believer. If the statements of the SBC representative leaders begin to not represent the majority of the constituency, I'm wholly confident one of two things will happen -- they either would be removed as the representative leaders, or the constituency would step out from underneath them to form a new denomination, and they will accordinlgly fall. Some have left the denomination over the last 20 years to form (though they deny it) a more moderate Baptist denomination (the previously mentioned CBF), but many more have stepped in to replace those who have vacated, which suggests support and agreement for the statements being made. I believe President Bush listens to Dr. Land, et al, because he agrees with them, but also because they represent 16 million US citizens, a majority of whom are registered, active voters.

5. Its the flavor-of-the-month for post-moderns to be critical of anything and everything, regardless of their breadth and depth of knowledge on the matter, and also of their disagreement or endorsement of that same matter. In this matter alone, I've read criticism on the church, on SBC personalities, on the SBC itself, and on the president and the state of our country, the vast majority of which is unfair, inaccurate, and is pompously self-righteous. I advocate critical thought and reasonable discussion. Unfortunately, we become as guilty as those (we assume) who are the objects of our fiery darts when our statements are not well thought out and defensible. Some are making claims like "Bottom line: Hemphill was a bad president" and "The Bush administration's tactics and policies marry religious and patriotic fundamentalism. It's an unholy union" without full confidence of the veracity of the statements, either negligently or maliciously so. Just because you increasingly have the ability to say whatever you want to say, it doesn't always mean that you should say what you want to say, because you. just. might. be. wrong.

I'm an SBC Christian because the SBC doctrines are biblical, our fellowship is real, and our missions-sending strategy is second-to-none. I voted for Bush because his platform most closely aligns with my own.

getting the word out

This is for the search engines...

This is my new blogchalk:
United States, Colorado, Florence, English, Bryan, Male, 26-30, Christianity/World Culture, politics/entertainment. :)

can you hear me now?

Good.

This is the word I'm using to describe the latest addition to my blogroll Cox & Forkum. Here's a sample of their work, found via a link by Disordered Affections.

.

I was impressed, amused, and inspired by their work.

this just in

exciting news from Entertainment Weekly....

Blossom is returning to television!

Miam Bialik will guest star on [deep husky voice]a very special episode of 7th Heaven[/deep husky voice] as a grifter.

[joey]WWHHOA![/joey]

This will be her first TV appearance since Blossom went off the air in '95.

I confess to having watched the majority of Blossom episodes at one time or another.

They were youthful indescretions. It shouldn't be held against me.

[fingers crossed]We can only hope this signals the return of Miam to the situation comedy genre of the televised art of acting. Or at the very least, a reunion episode.[/fingers crossed]

home again

I got to sleep in my own bed last night!

I woke up from a very odd dream.

I was in my high school, trying to prepare for my prom. I was my current age (30). Then I got in trouble because I had scheduled prom on the night before SAT tests were being taken.

I went to ponder the predicament by chewing on a pencil, and I accidentally bit into a tube of superglue instead. Hilarity ensued as I spat repeatedly, lest my mouth be permanently shut by a space-age adherant.

Indubitably, this has some deeper meaning, but it escapes me.

the newest annoying corporate creation

From the same minds that brought you Snuggles the fabric softener bear and the Energizer Rabbit, I introduce you to Oven Mitt ^TM (and I'm not being sarcastic about the Trade Mark).



This little CGI creation makes me want to go eat at Subway, just out of principle. Jared's annoying, too, but you can't blame a guy for earning back some of the thousands of dollars he sent Sub-ways on his dietary adventure.

further evidence of aging

I officially declare my preference for VH1 over MTV.

keeblerific

we recently took with us from my parent's home a partially consumed "box" of EL Fudge cookies.

I noticed that they have started to inscribe one side of their cookies with cute messages.

The first couple were eye-catching

do you believe in Elvist?
Elves exist
Dunk head first!

But then I came across a few that were a bit more alarming:

submit to the divine will of Keebler
Elves will prevail over the weak human slaves
You have to sleep sometime
You should ask yourself, Is this really chocolate fudge?

note: this discovery was made over the course of a few EL Fudge snack experiences, and not one gigantic cookie-crumb-flying, elf-screaming midnight binge. really.

no, really.

my plans

I'm off to GA today....a day of travel with a layover in Memphis.

Tomorrow I'll be at my first AME writer's conference at the NAMB office. I'm looking forward to it.

Friday is another day of travel, this time to Houston to Metropolitan Baptist Church, to take part in my first men's conference (to see how my boss leads the sessions I'll be leading at subsequent conferences). This is a "Stand Firm" conference, and like the writer's conference, I'm looking forward to it.

Then I fly home Sunday.

So blogging will be intermittent.

stock update

I have sold all my shares in everything. I apologize to Tony for devaluing his stock by 13 cents per share, or approx 20 percent, by my sell off. Please don't take me off your blog roll because of it!

I made about $2300 fake in the game.

oh, why couldn't it be like real life.

we'll see how I do after the blog board goes public.

Oh, and there's approx 1300 shares of my stock available if someone' s interested in picking it up for a short-term investment.

FINALLY!

My blogshares stock finally took off. Apparently, it was reading as valueless because it was reading only links associated to bryanmcanally.blogspot.com and not the ones with WWW.bryanmcanallyandso on... So now, my stock is worth 22 cents a share. This news comes on the same day that all stocks will be dumped within seven days and reset. So, I'll enjoy my valuation for the time it takes to write this entry, then sell it all and repurchase it on May 1.

Christopher did well today, having approx. 2300 shares of my stock, purchased at 0 cents per share....

this must be exhibit g in the "Bryan is a big giant dork" case against me. I was really concerned about this, both socially and technologically.

by the way...I'll stay listed on blogshares when it goes public, but I'm not buying the 'premium membership.' This is no doubt good news to my wife and hungry children.

working on the rss

so bear with me.

quote of the moment

"My position hasn't changed. Too many innocent women and children and soldiers were killed over there."
-- idiot rapper "Fat Joe."

yes the 1.5 million innocent women and children and soldiers murdered by Saddam's 22-year reign of terror was much preferable.

stick to what you know, Fat Joe. Which is, apparently from his lyrics, about being Joe, who happens to be fat, and is a poverty-stricken murderous thug. Wait, maybe he is an expert on the Iraqi conflict, after all. Its a wonder he didn't make the Deck of Death ^TM.

In his own words (da fat gangsta):

Yeah.. uh-huh..
Chill.. hah, yeah..
C'mon..

I'm comin rougher than the roughest (expletive) could get
Playin Russian Roulette, never lost a bet yet
Bluffin, ain't my style, niggaz ain't sayin nothin
Cause I'm buckwild without frontin
Raw to the core, I grew up poor
Once I hit the door, I began to explore
Curiosity killed my cat, but not me
because I learned how to kill with agility
I grew up in the South Bronx, punch you in your mouth punk
I know these streets like Fred Sanford knows junk
In the trunk of a car lays a body
Head decapitated, bust him with my shotty
Stabbed the mug, to make sure, he wasn't comin back
Now police, can picture that, with a Kodak.. huh!
They can't stop me with a homicide investigation
Cause if they do my crew is hittin up the station
Your best bet, is to let me jet
Cause I bring war, like a vet, when I'm upset.. huh!
I'm not the one you wanna play out in a program
Yo, you better tell them who the hell I am

"This is Joe Da Fat Gangsta" Yeah! (2X)
"This is Joe Da Fat Gangsta" Tell em who the hell I am
"This is Joe Da Fat Gangsta"

[Fat Joe]
Now on the hip-hop tip, I'm no joke
Get live at a jam, and leave a system broke when I spoke
MC's froze, but I never said freeze
Hopin I don't hit em like a (expletive) up disease
Fall up in the club, Mr. Hype for a night
Choke a rapper with a cord, hang him from the lights.. huh!
Now you do wanna mess around with the Fat Man
cause you see my face in every newsstand
Every other magazine from Billboard to Spin
Pick it up and read Fat Joe strikes again
How true, I'm not about weed and brew
I'm just another papichulo like the rest of my crew
So give me the microphone
This jam is dedicated to my main man Tone
Cause he flips, and I flip, and we flip the script
And you know, you don't wanna get your ass WHIPPED
Party over here, another in the hospital
Lincoln, Memorial, notice that's how I sent you, hah
I was the one who played the shoot 'em up games
Here's another patient, and yo what's my name?

"This is Joe Da Fat Gangsta" Yeah! (2X)
"This is Joe Da Fat Gangsta" Tell em who the hell I am
"This is Joe Da Fat Gangsta"

[Fat Joe]
So I cruise around in the B-M
or in the Benz, hurtin enemies and makin new friends
They shake my hand, smile in my face
The nine's in my waist, so there won't be a chase
That's it, the situation is blown out of proportion
When you leave, you must use caution
Look over your shoulder, even on your block
When I come to visit, you know you're in shock
So don't say who is it, act like you know
Kickin down doors is the Gangsta Fat Joe
And I got no time for games
My name is goin down in the gangsta hall of fame

"This is Joe Da Fat Gangsta" Yeah!
"This is Joe Da Fat Gangsta" Tell em who the hell I am
"This is Joe Da Fat Gangsta"

[Fat Joe]
Yeah.. Fat Joe Da Gangsta
Representin in ninety-three
Peace to my man Diamond D
Peace out to my man Ski
This jam is ?letido?, ha hah

Truly, Fat Joe is a man of peace who is overwhelmingly concerned about the protection of the innocents.

Texas Hold-Em

By my estimation, The US is holding the five and Queen & King of Spades, the four and five and nine of clubs, the five and seven and eight of diamonds.

Three fives is a good hand. but we can do better.

But we're building on two possible straights, with a six or a ten and jack. and we're close to a full house with any number of potential captures soon to come.

According to Newsmax, Germany has been playing with a card up its sleeve. Dirty Oktoberfest-celebrating Kraut-eating subversion monkeys.

my son will appreciate this

So which fairy tale archetype are you? Hmm??
made by Michelle at EmptySpace.

a couple things related to Star Wars...

on the way back to Denver yesterday, we had a Laurel/Hardy moment.

Kelli & I were taking the Entertainment Weekly Pop Culture Quiz (62 out of 100), and came across a question requiring the assistance of Kaylyn.

Kelli: Kaylyn, Do you remember on Episode 5 when Leia tells Han Solo that she loves him? What does he say to her?

Kaylyn: I know.

Kelli: Ok, what is it?

Kaylyn: I know.

Kelli: So tell me.

Kaylyn: I KNOW

Kelli: I know?

Kaylyn: I know.

Kelli: Oh.

I recently bought episodes 4,5,6 on DVD through Ebay. they are pirated copies from Laserdisc, originally from China. Yeah, I learned that tidbit just a little too late. They actually are in English, but have non-removable chinese subtitles. And the dialogue track on episode 5 is misdubbed. And there are no chapters, so it's just one giant chapter. Kelli has pretty much revoked my Ebay priveleges.

YES!

from Tony originated from Dave...

perhaps the most enjoyable CGWIDFBAC (Cat Getting What It Deserves For Being A Cat) video of the year.

Whether or not you laugh out loud at this defines your stand on the Cat Lover/Cat Hater issue...

can you guess which side of the fence I find myself?

new terror on the homefront

a powder that may be a biotoxin has been discovered at a tacoma post office.

It's not anthrax.

but may be plague/botulin.

countless more hours of reporting that it is not anthrax but may be a biotoxin to ensue.

update (9:49 AM MST): 4 out of 5 dentists who recommend Trident for their patients who chew gum say the powder is not a biotoxin.

democracy 101

I've actually been wanting to share this for several days....it is just so profoundly educational.

I was reading The Daily Press while in Craig, the local rag. It's actually a pretty good community daily. Anyway, I came across this article that was interviewing the new city council members. I noticed that one of the city council members was Billy Bingham. So I asked my dad "Is this the Billy Bingham from my high school?" My dad just shook his head (which informed me, yes, it was that Billy Bingham).

Now Billy is a nice guy. I've always thought so. And if I were to comment further on him, I'm afraid it would appear that I was trying to be smugly superior to Billy, and I PROMISE, that is not the case. What I will do is reprint the paper's interview with him verbatim, so you can see just why his election elicited wide-spread head shaking.

But before I do, let me share these vitals:

Moffat County estimated population: 13,000

Moffat county registered voters: 5,700

Voters participating in recent election: 529

Votes for Billy, who ran unopposed: 343

So, Billy, who garnered approximately 6 percent of the registered voters' confidence, will be leading/representing them for the next two years. (note: just to prove that I acknowledge my own shortcomings, it took me three tries to get 'unopposed' spelled correctly)

without further ado, here's the interview with my comments:

DP: Why did you run for a Craig City Council Seat?
Billy: I like doing what we do. It's neat and I've been learning a lot.
Me: to explain, Billy was appointed by the council (over a politically active high school social studies teacher) to fill the last six months of the previous term vacated by a former councilmember. My dad wasn't certain, but seemed to remember Billy working as a "parts man" at a local auto supply store.

DP: What do you feel are your (the council's) greatest accomplishments in the past term?
Billy: Every night we're there, we have great accomplishments.
Me: It's the concrete answers that really won over the hearts of the voters.

DP: What do you feel were your greatest challenges in the past term?
Billy: Learning all the ins and outs. I don't know everything yet.
Me: and they were also impressed by his honesty.

DP: What do you see as the biggest challenges facing the city in the next 2-4 years?
Billy: The hospital and the recreation center. The recreation center will be a good thing if we can make it work.
Me: and his unrelenting grip on the obvious.

DP: What are your goals for the next 2-4 years?
Billy: We need to get more people involved. The only time people get involved is when their mad.
Me: I ran on this same platform for 'head boy' in 8th grade student council, but unfortunately lost by four votes (in which more people voted than in this election).

DP: What do you feel you contribute to the council? What sets you apart from the others?
Billy: My haircut. I really don't know yet. It's all new.
Me: [dropped jaw].........................................[/dropped jaw].

DP: What do you think is necessary to improve city/county relations?
Billy: Communication and to go into each meeting open-minded.
Me: and it's clear his mind is incredibly open, and his communication skills are unequaled.

So, the lesson of all this?

that's right.

every vote counts.

God Bless America.

and in case you didn't know

the date for Easter is selected by the first Sunday following the first full moon after the beginning of the Spring Equinox.

very spiritual.

what I did on my easter vacation by bryan mcanally

sorry for the long delay from blogging. I took the family to Craig for the weekend, and never really had time to get around a pc. It was a great weekend. Friday was a low-key day. It rained/snowed a lot that day, and I just hung with the kids. On Saturday, we took them to the city park for the town-wide egg-hunting contest. Craig has a BIG park, and they had it roped off with a teeming mass of candy-hungry children pressing against the nylon barrier. The park was filled with cheap Brach's candy, the stuff that always gets left at the bottom of the easter basket. The local Lions group dropped that rope, and 10 minutes later, that park was bare.

picked clean.

not even a wrapper to be found.

What was so cool about it was it was a mini-reunion of sorts. I saw about two dozen people from high school that I hadn't seen in several years. Later that day, I happened upon the final scene in Grease when they're lamenting that school is over, but assuring that they'll always be the best of friends.

I've determined that despite best intentions, it just doesn't work out that way. You don't stay best of friends. You lose touch. You don't see each other for years, until you just 'run into each other' at a city Easter egg hunt, that you've dragged your child to, despite near-freezing temperatures, so they may partake (as we learn from the cinematic classic A Christmas Story) in unbridled greed and avarice. Then your meeting goes something like this:

You (which is actually me): "Hey, Ralph, how ya doin? I barely recognized you!"

Him: "Yeah, losing all your hair will do that to you. I'm doing good. I almost didn't recognize you."

You: "Yeah, an extra 40 pounds will do that to you. Doing good too...."

akward silence.

You: So, your kids here?

Him: Yeah...that's my son tackling that girl for the candy. How 'bout you?

You: Yeah. That's my boy, there, crying by that tree.....and that's my daughter, asking who appears to be your boy to please get off her.

akward silence

You: Well, its been great seein' you. Keep in touch!

Him: You too! See ya.

So that was Saturday.

On Sunday we went to church at Calvary, where I was associate pastor for three years. It was a very good experience. The church was packed. Lots of folks we knew, but better still, lots we didn't. Worship was great.

It was a good weekend celebrating the Resurrection. I hope it was pleasant for y'all, too.

same planet, different world

This story from Baptist Press informs that FBC Snellville, GA, is starting a new church, with pastor (and immediate past president of the Southern Baptist Convention) Dr. James Merrit leaving the mother church to pastor the new congregation.

This is all cool, I totally support church plants. And I'm particularly interested, since this is taking place in my soon and future home area.

This is what is amazing to me.

This church, which will be call Cross Pointe, the Church at Gwinnett Center, will start with 4 large buildings, 70 acres of land, a multimillion dollar budget, and 225 key leaders to start its ministries.

I can't even identify with that. For churches in Colorado, this is just unheard of. Our biggest churches are starting churches in movie theaters, not on former Defense contractor properties. 225 key leaders is the marker of a megachurch, not a church plant. This just may be the practical difference between living in the Bible belt and living in the 'wild frontier.'

One more question: why does there have to be an 'e' at the end of "Pointe?"

the real important news

Kelsi took five steps on her own last night.

She really likes her sister....will drop everything to go to her.

She doesn't really understand her brother (we're all still working on that one). she just waves when he tries to get her to come to him.

And we've began the process of "De-Diva-ing" her, using a variety of psychological tools such as sarcasm, isolation, and scolding.

She responds using a variety of psychological tools such as crying, crying louder, and crying even louder still.

Her tools are more advanced, and accordingly, work much better.

an entire state pleads insanity

Headline of the day:

Kansas gets permission to talk to Self.

oh yeah, that's why we are there....

for those who are erroneously griping that we went to Iraq based on a lie and haven't accomplished our purpose, read this.

Why don't you try living as a political prisoner for a decade (and no, you are not one now, just because Gore didn't fool the Supreme Court into legislating a Democratic larcenous victory from the High bench).

Why don't you try living in the dark for a decade (oh wait, many of you are in the dark....but this is different).

Why don't you try to understand what it means to be imprisoned because you committed the horrible crime of being a female walking on the street when Ippyday Hussein's goons passed by, kidnapping you so he could rape you, shave your head, and throw you in a jail.

Why don't you try to live by eating your own scabs.

If you (read: Garafalo, Maher, Sarandon, Robbins, Tomei, Huffington, Dean, Moseley_Braun, et al, etc., ad nauseum) really believe the pus you spew, then you really are a festering scab.

Perhaps President Bush's 73% approval rating shows that CHAD^TM (Conservative, Honest, Active Democracy) is the hydrogen peroxide that disenfects even the most stubborn of disgusting, oozing sores of liberalism.

never underestimate the power of stupidy in large numbers

I know this is an entertainment site, but seeing the results of 'which country is next' causes me to just shake my head in disbelief.

I didn't vote. You're an idiot if you voted to attack USA (but not if you chose California). You're a moron and an anti-semite if you chose to attack Israel (and you're just asking for trouble if you want to pick a fight with God). And while its fun and easy to pick on France and Canada, we don't really want to invade either of them. France wouldn't appreciate the liberation (since they obviously haven't appreciated it for the last 60 years), and attacking Canada would just ruin our nation's property values, by brining down the quality of the global neighborhood. I agree with those three who chose Iraq.

nobody could possibly foresee it. And it would be very inexpensive. And we could then impose our democratic dictatorial ideals upon the now foolishly 'free' citizens of this oil rich land. And just think of it...

the oil

the OIL

THE OIL!!!!!

not a bad idea

also from the briefing:

Main Place Christian Fellowship Church in Tustin, Calif., has converted a former photo booth in a strip mall into a drive-through prayer booth. Pastors and volunteers man the kiosk during weekdays to talk with visitors.

I'm all for anything that engages leads Christians to engage the world.

Try this: the next time you eat at a restaurant, ask your waitperson if they have a prayer need they would share before you ask the Lord to bless your meal. You'll be amazed at how often someone immediately has a need to share, just noone who's asked them about it.

stat of the day

from my pastor's weekly briefing, from focus on the family:

The Family Research Institute of Colorado found that homosexuals make up three percent of all foster parents, but are responsible for 50 percent of the reported molestation cases of foster children.

back on the home front

this editorial in the WSJ should remind us that we have domestic issues about which we should be furious.

Contact your legislators and demand the end of the Estrada filibuster!

this explains that

and from Kelli....

A couple days ago, whilst getting her hair cut at a friends.

Cotter: [exiting bathroom] Mommy, look what I can do all by myself. I can tuck in my shirt.[/exiting bathroom].

Kelli: Wow....when did you become such a big boy?

Cotter: Tuesday.

He's got a million of 'em folks. The next shows at seven. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

my son the calvinist

whilst watching Blues Clues this morning, my son waxed theologic.

Joe on TV: [singing]you can do......anything.....that you want to do[/singing]

Cotter: Daddy, Joe's wrong.

Me: about what?

Cotter: you can't do anything you want to do. You can only do what God wants you to do.

Me: That's my boy!

another reason why my children don't watch PBS

I always knew those Teletubbies were up to no good.

Exciting news

Knight Rider may be made into a real Hollywood movie.

Better still, David Hasselhoff would likely be executive producer, [sarcasm]so you know it will be good.[/sarcasm]

I may be a snob, but I'm not French

I've become a blogsnob, which you will see by the ad to the right (promoting a random snobbish blog), above haloscan. But I promise I won't let it change me. I'll still remember all the little people.

unless they're french.

a public service announcement

Reminded of the constant question of "How do you punctuate the possessive Jesus?"
a. Jesus'
b. Jesus's
c. Jesu's
d. Jesus's's
e. I don't know, so please tell me!



the correct answer, of course, is f. 1972

he takes a lickin' but keeps on tickin'

Rodney King was in a fender bender.

These are the interesting background details:

King, who is black, was chased by police through the San Fernando Valley in 1991 and was captured on videotape being beaten by four white officers.

After the officers' acquittal, riots broke out and lasted for four days, leaving 55 dead and more than 2,000 injured. The mayhem caused $1 billion in property damage.

King received a $3.8 million settlement from the city of Los Angeles in 1994.

He was convicted of spouse abuse in 1999 in San Bernardino County and was sentenced to 90 days in jail and four years probation.

King pleaded no contest to three counts of being under the influence of PCP and a count of indecent exposure in October 2001. A judge gave King a year in a drug treatment center even though a prosecutor argued King should spend a year in county jail.

Okay, now get this -- he was not arrested at the accident! Do you think the LAPD might be justalittlebit gunshy around this guy?

Owens says 'non' to Wine-swilling appeasement monkeys

this from the National Review via Instapundit:

SNUBBING FRANCE [John J. Miller]
Consul General Jean-Luc Sibiude of France recently requested a meeting with Colorado Gov. Bill Owens. Here is a portion of Owens' reply, from a letter dated April 10: "I am sorry I will be unable to meet with you during your visit to Colorado. I feel it would be inappropriate to do so at this time. I have been active for many years in the international arena ... I am also proud of my uncle who was killed in action in France on his eighteenth birthday. I give you this background as a preface to my feeling that France's actions over the past few months will have serious and long-term consequences on relations between our countries. I believe your government opposed our efforts in Iraq in order to advance the government's popularity at home and to further French ambitions abroad..." That's the gist of it, and it's one more reason why Bill Owens is America's best governor.

Another reason why I really like my governor.

and I thought it was cool when my dad cosigned on a car

Uday Ippyday Saddam Hussein's palace has been raided. Apparently, being the insane son of a crazed dictator has its carnal perks. Not only was it furnished with priceless extravagancies while his countrymen starved, there was a trove of discovery that proved once again that it doesn't matter how much money a person has, you just cannot buy good taste. Among the important discoveries of his palace:

They found bundles of porn, booze, drugs, porn, a wild animal zoo, porn and porn.

They did not find phone numbers for the local AA, Narc Anon, Porn No More, PETA, or CoFDA (Children of Freaky Dictators Anonymous) chapters.

They found pirated videos of western movies ranging from Dirty Dancing to Wag the Dog.

They did not find Bibles, church bulletins, or mission trip itineraries.

They did find Unicef boxes for children that had been pilfered.

They did not find NAMB's 1 in a million prayer emphasis promotion materials.

They did find dozens of copies of his doctoral thesis I am the Insane Son of a Crazed Dictator, So Give Me My PhD before I Have Your Legs Cut off With Industrial Machinery and Fed to My Pet Cheetahs.

They did not find a My Parents Went Escaped to Syria and all I got was this Lousy T-Shirt T-Shirt.

They did find dozens of receipts for luxury cars signed with his name.

They did not find any receipts to the March of Dimes Donate a Car program.

They did find pictures of (clothed, respectable, and elegant) President Bush's daughters. (Note: Upon news of this discovery, Jenna Bush replied, "Excuse me, I need to go bathe. This really grosses me out."

They did not find a poster of a cute kitten dangling from a tree by its front paws with the clever tagline Hang on Baby, Friday's Coming!

Why is it that I hope that the Board of Directors of Saddam & Sons Terror, Inc., is found alive? This is why.

the church in the culture

I'm not sure if this is good form, to link to a image of a friendly blog, but I will, and if its not, I'll take it down.

Is this the next step in being seeker sensitive?

capitalism at its finest

Newsmax is offering the Iraqi "Deck of Death" Playing Cards.

They're selling the cards for $15, which comes with four free months of the magazine. Or, you can subscribe for a year and get the cards for free.
And as an aside -- If I were Tariq Aziz, I would be so ticked that I'm only the 8 of Spades. I'd also be pretty mad if I were any one of the 4 Queens.

I really don't know what this means

but, okay.



which smilie are you?

Thanks WIT

laci found?

Two bodies have been found....looks like they finally located Laci and her baby, who was planned to have been named Connor.

The report includes this little nugget: Peterson's husband has been questioned about her disappearance but never named as a suspect. He admitted in January that he had an affair with another woman last year but denied any role in his wife's disappearance.

His attorney, Kirk McAllister, said he had told his client about the day's developments. "He's very concerned and broken up at the prospect that it might be his wife," said McAllister.

I think he's probably more concerned and broken up that he's now on the verge of getting caught and incarcerated for his crime of murdering his wife and preborn child. Jerk.

a bad day at work

a C&P email from a friend....

For all those who complain about their job, next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on your FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.

+ =

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job..."

the next statue to fall?

maybe the thought of this is why Kim Jong Il is so eager to see Secretary Powell pony up to the multilateral table, after all.

signs of the impending apocalypse #35

who would you kill?

Exodus 20:13 -- you shall not murder.
Matthew 5:21-22 -- "You have heard that it was said to those of old, `You shall not murder,' and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment. But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment."

factoid

In rapper Eminem's 2002 debut film "8 Mile," there are more than 330 curse words.

(Phil Boatwright, writing for Baptist Press, assumedly did the counting.)

an addition to the blogroll

Right We Are! is a new (to me) blog from Maripat (a conservative lady from Colorado) and Lori. Lots of good stuff here.

thanks scrappleface

for the good news on General Franks. Once he retires, we may have a chance at winning this war.

hoping for a ripple effect to the link

COTS has provided a link to the Iraqi information minister adoration site. It really is amazing to see his quotes compiled together.

my theory is that he has escaped from the public eye while he settle on the bidding between the same folks who "handled" Rob Lowe, Hugh Grant, and former President Bill Clinton. Once he has a PR team in place, he'll be back, more popular then ever, likely as a talking head on CNN.

didn't know of this

Kelli got this in her email recently:

It is with deep sadness that we must advise you that as of today Dr. Atkins remains gravely ill, in a coma and on life support. As most of you know, on his way to work Tuesday morning following the late-season snowstorm, Dr. Atkins fell on the slippery sidewalk in front of The Atkins Center. He suffered a major blow to his head and has not recovered from surgery to remove a blood clot from his brain. His physician reports that Dr. Atkins' chances of a meaningful recovery are slim. Nonetheless, we are hoping for a miracle and every measure possible is being considered to save his life. Please know that as there are further developments regarding Dr. Atkins' condition we will do our best to keep you informed via our Web site.

this is the diet guy, in case you didn't know.

there was a reason he lost in '72

It appears a sympathetic editor from The Nation slipped a pen and paper under the locked basement door, to allow crazy Uncle George McGovern to put down tripe in the form of a misinformed, inaccurate, rambling, senseless ranting diatribe. Perhaps the editor thought he was benevolently partaking in assisted suicide by allowing McGovern to murder whatever slim vestiges of credibility still remaining from the last 31 years of the Chronic Wasting Disease that is parasitic liberal dogma.

I never feel safer for conservatism when the left is relying on an irrelevant defeated octagenarian to spout their nonsense propaganda.

those wacky iraqis

jokes from the front line (thanks to a friend's email)...

What is the Iraqi air force motto?
I came, I saw, Iran.

Have you heard about the new Iraqi military exercise program?
Each morning you raise your hands above your head and leave them there.

What's the five-day forecast for Baghdad?
Two days.

What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common?
They both have Kurds in their way.

What is the best Iraqi job?
Foreign ambassador.

Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?
You only have to teach them to take off.

How do you play Iraqi bingo?
B-52 ... F-16 ... B-52

What is Iraq's national bird?
Duck.

What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?
They both want to know where all those Tomahawks are coming from!

Why does the Iraqi navy have glass bottom boats?
So they can see their air force.

introducing

your Democratic pretenders offenders contenders for 2K4, and a few key words to let you know about their respective platforms:

Howard "Not Jimmy" Dean: We’ve gotten rid of him (Saddam Hussein), I suppose that’s a good thing...

Richard "Dick" Gephardt: We are going to have more deficits as a result of this war. We have to get rid of almost all of the Bush tax cuts -- the one last year and whatever he tries to put on the books this year.

John "Mr. Heinz" Kerry: I support disarming Saddam Hussein, but I have been very critical of the way this administration went at it...

Joe "Don't forget I'm Jewish" Leiberman: the choice between security for our nation and a better life for our children is a false choice. ... If we pull back this outrageously unfair and irresponsible tax cut program of President Bush, we could both protect our security and provide a better life for our children...

"The Reverend" Al Sharpton: I opposed the war and I’m still saying that I do not see the necessity for the war. I do not see where we’ve seen the nuclear weapons that we were told were there. I do not see the imminent danger. I do not see the necessity for the military action. I’m glad Saddam was toppled, but I also would like to see things toppled in this country, like no health insurance, like illiteracy, like childhood obesity.

Bob "My Liberal Heart Still Bleeds even after a Quintuple Bypass" Graham: the war in Iraq has actually reduced our ability to effectively carry out the war against terrorism.”

Dennis "Rebuilding the Clinton Bridge" Kucinich: We have to know the difference between defense and offense. I also think this war was about a pretext. It was not about whether they had weapons of mass destruction. Let’s face it: Poverty is a weapon of mass destruction, homelessness is a weapon of mass destruction, lack of adequate education is a weapon of mass destruction, our children not having good neighborhoods is a weapon of mass destruction. We’re blowing up bridges over the Tigris and Euphrates, (but) we’re not building bridges in our own cities.

Carol "I'm-so-far-left-even-far-left-wackos-say-'whoa-Carol's-really-out-left'" Mosely-Braun: If we spent $80 billion to kill Saddam Hussein that’s $79 billion too much.

John "Winning for the Right to Lose" Edwards: I have always supported the cause in Iraq. I think it is a just cause. I think that what we’re doing there is right. I think it is a fight, among other things, for the liberation of the Iraqi people. We have to now show that we went there for the right reasons: by, as soon as we reasonably can, turning over the governing of the Iraqi people to the Iraqi people, by turning over the oil fields and the revenue from those oil fields to the Iraqi people.

Fearless Prediction: John Edwards will win because he is the most attractive of the bunch, and was consistently pro-liberation of Iraq, He will actually fare well enough not to be the victim of the worst landslide defeat ever, but only because the liberals who are still whining about Florida 2000 will come out en masse (but not enough to offset those who voted for Gore who will now vote for Bush). Unfortunately (for him), he will be undone by the tired arguments that saddle his ideology, and he'll have to wait an additional four years to step back up to the plate and lose to Condoleezza Rice.

the most powerful weapon

Thanks to Tony, I returned to MSNBC and caught this story of the tactics behind the war. This caught my eye:

Arab toughs cannot tolerate insults to their manhood. So, as American armored columns pushed down the road to Baghdad, 400-watt loudspeakers mounted on Humvees would, from time to time, blare out in Arabic that Iraqi men are impotent. The Fedayeen, the fierce but undisciplined and untrained Iraqi irregulars, could not bear to be taunted. Whether they took the bait or saw an opportunity to attack, many Iraqis stormed out of their concealed or dug-in positions, pushing aside their human shields in some cases—to be—slaughtered by American tanks and Bradley fighting vehicles. “What you say is many times more important than what you do in this part of the world,” says a senior U.S. psy-warrior.

wow.
no smarmy comments.
just wow.

proverbs #75

one today is worth two tomorrows.

proverbs #74

today is yesterday's pupil.

proverbs #73

Truth has no corners.