Christopher, ever diligent, has replied to his five personal questions. thanks for your well thought-out responses. (especially for #3!)
Go check 'em out.
and remember, if you're willing, you too can have a shot at your own.
still waiting to hear from irene.
Michael's on deck.
8/30/2003
what i did on my labor day vacation, by bryan mcanally
yesterday, i left work a little early and the family gathered up and went to one of the many beaches of Lake Lanier. We swam about for a couple of hours. Then we went to our beach blanket to enjoy a little snack. when we opened the kids coke cans, we were swarmed by bees. Kaylyn handled it like a pro. Cotter did pretty good, too. Kelli and I, on the other hand, rand around like extras from The Swarm screaming, waving, and swatting wildly.
the good news is that nobody got stung. And the better news, from the bugs' perspective, is that they ended up dining on two left-behind twelve-ounce wells of carmelly-sweet nectar.
we proceeded on to a Mexican restaurant. This event elightened us to the discovery that we have yet to locate a really good Mexican restaurant in North Georgia. Whilst dining on a flavorless cheese enchilada, I was reminded of the scene from the Matrix when the "real world" crew of the Nebudchadnezzar was postulating how the virtual world knew how real food tasted, determining that the computers just estimated the flavor of the real food (did you follow all that?). I'm convinced that these restaurant owners/chefs don't really know how real Mexican food tastes, so they just estimate a flavor by mixing together white & yellow cheeses, required meat product, tomatoes, and flour and/or corn tortillas. The problem is, they leave out too many of the necessary and yummy spices and seasonings. This sad vacuum of South-of-the-border scrumpdilliumptiousness may just eventually become our cause-de-force.
We then rented The Two Towers and Glengarry Glen Ross from our local Blockbuster. We got halfway through the first selection before being ready for bed. Oh, we're a couple of firecrackers, we are!
Today has an adventure planned to Six Flags Kiddie Land, or something like that. It's specifically designed for children under twelve. So I should fit right in.
We must return by 7:45 because the U of Colorado/Colorado State game is actually being televised down South. CU is 1-3 against CSU under Coach Barnett, and hasn't won a season opener in his tenure. So my hopes are high.
the good news is that nobody got stung. And the better news, from the bugs' perspective, is that they ended up dining on two left-behind twelve-ounce wells of carmelly-sweet nectar.
we proceeded on to a Mexican restaurant. This event elightened us to the discovery that we have yet to locate a really good Mexican restaurant in North Georgia. Whilst dining on a flavorless cheese enchilada, I was reminded of the scene from the Matrix when the "real world" crew of the Nebudchadnezzar was postulating how the virtual world knew how real food tasted, determining that the computers just estimated the flavor of the real food (did you follow all that?). I'm convinced that these restaurant owners/chefs don't really know how real Mexican food tastes, so they just estimate a flavor by mixing together white & yellow cheeses, required meat product, tomatoes, and flour and/or corn tortillas. The problem is, they leave out too many of the necessary and yummy spices and seasonings. This sad vacuum of South-of-the-border scrumpdilliumptiousness may just eventually become our cause-de-force.
We then rented The Two Towers and Glengarry Glen Ross from our local Blockbuster. We got halfway through the first selection before being ready for bed. Oh, we're a couple of firecrackers, we are!
Today has an adventure planned to Six Flags Kiddie Land, or something like that. It's specifically designed for children under twelve. So I should fit right in.
We must return by 7:45 because the U of Colorado/Colorado State game is actually being televised down South. CU is 1-3 against CSU under Coach Barnett, and hasn't won a season opener in his tenure. So my hopes are high.
8/29/2003
brittany & madonna sittin' in a tree...
yes, we did see the two gals meet in an open-mouthed embrace on last night's MTV VMA awards, and then turn to give equal time to Chrissy Agrrrlera.
no, we did not think it was cool.
its sad the lengths to which our "entertainers" (and boy, do i use that term loosely) will go to be 'cutting edge.' did they think we'd be shocked? did they think we'd see some sort of message? did they think we'd appreciate it artistically?
my thought was that it was one of the creepiest things I've ever seen, like when a teenage girl goes to kiss her senile grandmother goodbye, and the old gal hallucinates that she's sending off her GI boyfriend before WWII, giving her lassy a lot more than she bargained for. But rather than getting the heebie jeebies from it, the two girls smiled like they had just accomplished something scandalous.
I don't know if the moment should have been sponsored by GLAAD, Crest®, or Super Polident®, but our collective response was simply....
eww....
no, we did not think it was cool.
its sad the lengths to which our "entertainers" (and boy, do i use that term loosely) will go to be 'cutting edge.' did they think we'd be shocked? did they think we'd see some sort of message? did they think we'd appreciate it artistically?
my thought was that it was one of the creepiest things I've ever seen, like when a teenage girl goes to kiss her senile grandmother goodbye, and the old gal hallucinates that she's sending off her GI boyfriend before WWII, giving her lassy a lot more than she bargained for. But rather than getting the heebie jeebies from it, the two girls smiled like they had just accomplished something scandalous.
I don't know if the moment should have been sponsored by GLAAD, Crest®, or Super Polident®, but our collective response was simply....
eww....
five for Christopher
now it's WIT's turn.
I'm still looking for more volunteers. I like this way to get to know you without having to getting into the whole realm of stalking & restraining orders. Plus, you get a free link to your own site. Let me know if I can ask you five personal questions.
WIThout further ado, here's Chris's queries:
1. what's the most frustrating experience you've had as an educator?
2. why is the public school classroom a vital location for the presence of technology?
3. using only five different adjectives that end in 'y,' describe your relationship with Pressed and Michael.
4. what's the most valuable thing you've learned from your mother?
5. what is best thing your church is doing right these days?
I'm still looking for more volunteers. I like this way to get to know you without having to getting into the whole realm of stalking & restraining orders. Plus, you get a free link to your own site. Let me know if I can ask you five personal questions.
WIThout further ado, here's Chris's queries:
1. what's the most frustrating experience you've had as an educator?
2. why is the public school classroom a vital location for the presence of technology?
3. using only five different adjectives that end in 'y,' describe your relationship with Pressed and Michael.
4. what's the most valuable thing you've learned from your mother?
5. what is best thing your church is doing right these days?
five for Irene
its taken me a little time, but here's Irene's five questions.
She can respond in my comments, or by email and I'll repost it.
1. share your most interesting adventure as a writer.
2. describe your relationship with your father in five simple sentences or less.
3. what is the biggest misconception about Malaysian culture?
4. what would you be doing right now if time & expense weren't an issue?
5. give us the link to the most inspiring thing you've ever read on the blogosphere:
She can respond in my comments, or by email and I'll repost it.
1. share your most interesting adventure as a writer.
2. describe your relationship with your father in five simple sentences or less.
3. what is the biggest misconception about Malaysian culture?
4. what would you be doing right now if time & expense weren't an issue?
5. give us the link to the most inspiring thing you've ever read on the blogosphere:
yo quiero republicano
Democrats are whinin' about the Taco Bell election competition. They don't seem to think its fair that the crunchy beef taco (that represents Ahnold) is cheaper and more popular than the chicken soft taco (that represents Davis), thus presenting skewed results.
oh
my
goodness.
can you say "out-of-touch?"
it seems to me that Taco Bell has it right on several levels...from the product representation to the cheaper and more popular.
maybe the Dems can use a strong (albeit losing) performance to build on for '04.
(thanks Tony for the alert on the Democrats vigilant effort to fill every public office in this land with Republicans and re-elect W in 2004).
oh
my
goodness.
can you say "out-of-touch?"
it seems to me that Taco Bell has it right on several levels...from the product representation to the cheaper and more popular.
maybe the Dems can use a strong (albeit losing) performance to build on for '04.
(thanks Tony for the alert on the Democrats vigilant effort to fill every public office in this land with Republicans and re-elect W in 2004).
further evidence of why we must be involved in the public school system
this came to me as an info/prayer request....
my very good friend Pastor Morgan Kerr of First Southern Baptist Church, Canon City, Colorado (pictured here):
is involved in a local challenge because a youth girl from his congregation refused to take part in a pagan ceremony organized and mandated by the school system. Read all about it here.
I preached in Morgan's church last Sunday, and spoke with Jennifer (not knowing about this at the time). Her folks were involved in the Bible studies at our church in Florence.
Please pray for all who are involved, that they would be girded with Truth and strengthened for the battle.
I know some would (and many do) have us abandon the public school system. But just because we've tried to shut God out, I don't believe He's content to be excluded from any arena of public life. If Christians evacuate for the safer confines of the home school or Christian school, there will be no check in place to keep these problems from overtaking ongoing generations of children who are subject to no other influence. You must do what your conscience tells you, what the Holy Spirit convicts, but for the love of the lost, please don't turn your back on the challenge now!
my very good friend Pastor Morgan Kerr of First Southern Baptist Church, Canon City, Colorado (pictured here):
is involved in a local challenge because a youth girl from his congregation refused to take part in a pagan ceremony organized and mandated by the school system. Read all about it here.
I preached in Morgan's church last Sunday, and spoke with Jennifer (not knowing about this at the time). Her folks were involved in the Bible studies at our church in Florence.
Please pray for all who are involved, that they would be girded with Truth and strengthened for the battle.
I know some would (and many do) have us abandon the public school system. But just because we've tried to shut God out, I don't believe He's content to be excluded from any arena of public life. If Christians evacuate for the safer confines of the home school or Christian school, there will be no check in place to keep these problems from overtaking ongoing generations of children who are subject to no other influence. You must do what your conscience tells you, what the Holy Spirit convicts, but for the love of the lost, please don't turn your back on the challenge now!
train up your child in the way they should go and they will not depart from it!
friday's half-a-decalogue
1. Are you going to school this year? no more school for me.
2. If yes, where are you going (high school, college, etc.)? If no, when did you graduate? high school --1990. College --1995. Seminary 1998
3. What are/were your favorite school subjects? English, Lit., Advanced Composition, Phys Ed, Tutoring (got to nap a lot), Spanish (played lots of games)
4. What are/were your least favorite school subjects? Honors Physics. I didn't learn anything in it except that gravity isn't just a good idea, it's the law. and how to play (and win) in paper football.
5. Have you ever had a favorite teacher? Why was he/she a favorite? Well, my wife gives me a hard time because when I graduated from high school, I wrote a letter to the editor of the local paper thanking my 13 years of educators for their investment in me. I know, I'm a dork. But I really can look back and see that most of them were very good. Particularly special to me were Mrs. Susan Whinery (Senior English), Mr. Jim Loughran (9th grade social studies), Mr. Gary Tague (track coach), and Mr. Joe Tonso (5 math & computer classes in 4 years). These all shared the characteristics of liking kids, and working hard with those who worked hard.
2. If yes, where are you going (high school, college, etc.)? If no, when did you graduate? high school --1990. College --1995. Seminary 1998
3. What are/were your favorite school subjects? English, Lit., Advanced Composition, Phys Ed, Tutoring (got to nap a lot), Spanish (played lots of games)
4. What are/were your least favorite school subjects? Honors Physics. I didn't learn anything in it except that gravity isn't just a good idea, it's the law. and how to play (and win) in paper football.
5. Have you ever had a favorite teacher? Why was he/she a favorite? Well, my wife gives me a hard time because when I graduated from high school, I wrote a letter to the editor of the local paper thanking my 13 years of educators for their investment in me. I know, I'm a dork. But I really can look back and see that most of them were very good. Particularly special to me were Mrs. Susan Whinery (Senior English), Mr. Jim Loughran (9th grade social studies), Mr. Gary Tague (track coach), and Mr. Joe Tonso (5 math & computer classes in 4 years). These all shared the characteristics of liking kids, and working hard with those who worked hard.
sung to the tune of on the radio
yesterday whilst commuting, I actually heard something original on the FM dial.
and no, it wasn't a song.
the traffic guy was giving a report and it sounded alittlesomething....
like this...
alas, I depart on exit 10.
and no, it wasn't a song.
the traffic guy was giving a report and it sounded alittlesomething....
like this...
We've got blockage on the 400 pipeline in both directions. At the Northbound Mansell Exit 8 there's a two car bumper dumper that has the traffic down to one lane. The problem is all the rubberneckers heading south. If you're heading that direction this morning, be sure to slow down and take a look, because you've earned it!
alas, I depart on exit 10.
8/28/2003
sung to the tune of its gettin' hot in here!
with no intentions of being "jen-heavy" today, I found this link at her site, which let me re-create my own Dantean hell:
(update: I couldn't post my graphic without freezing my browser....so sorry....only commentary to follow)
this reminds me of a project I did for Senior English back in Susan Whinery's class in 1990 at Moffat County High School, where after reading Dante's Inferno we had to recreate our own multi-level hell with mentions of who would have been there. I don't think I have that wonderful little effort of psychosis -- I think she kept it as an illustration for subsequent classes -- but it certainly allowed me to tap that vein that inspired visions of macabre grandeur in the tradition of Stephen King.
looking at a "levels" of hell diorama reminds me of the oft-used phrase, "there's a special place in hell for" X, with "x" being the variable for whom or whatever the speaker is against. Typical recipients of this phrasal attribution of late are Catholic Priests, Saddam & Sons Insano-Dictators, Telecom CEOs, and Gray Davis (California only). While we intend to illustrate our disdain by this heartfelt sentiment, we really reveal a humanistic interpretation of the eternal abyss.
do we really think that something beyond eternal separation from the holy, loving, perfect God is inadequate? Doesn't a lake of fire for all apart from God imposing enough? I'm not suggesting that people be motivated by the "fire insurance" clause of salvation, but it certainly is a nice benefit? I'd hazard the opinion that most people -- and even many "christians" -- don't believe in the reality of hell. Some people believe that this -- earth, here and now -- is the hell. They cannot fathom it getting any worse than this.
If you want to imagine hell, imagine the earth, without the evidence, providence, and presence of the grace of God that is currently manifested in a variety of subtle-and-not-so-subtle intercessory ways every day on this big ball of orbiting molten encrusted rock. Just as heaven will be the realized, fulfilled faith of those belonging to God through the atoning sacrifice of the Son, hell will be the fulfilled, despairing, no-longer-able-to-deny-the-reality of one's self-imposed condemnation for rejecting the Provision for reconciliation. And those who experience that converse reality will have eternity to lament its reality.
Do I really think Clinton, Gray, the Pope, and others will go to hell? Well, not for their stupid policies. The only thing that matters is whether or not their shortcomings have been covered by the completed work of the Christ. If so, then God's grace covers everything else. If it doesn't, then they've no hope at all.
(update: I couldn't post my graphic without freezing my browser....so sorry....only commentary to follow)
this reminds me of a project I did for Senior English back in Susan Whinery's class in 1990 at Moffat County High School, where after reading Dante's Inferno we had to recreate our own multi-level hell with mentions of who would have been there. I don't think I have that wonderful little effort of psychosis -- I think she kept it as an illustration for subsequent classes -- but it certainly allowed me to tap that vein that inspired visions of macabre grandeur in the tradition of Stephen King.
looking at a "levels" of hell diorama reminds me of the oft-used phrase, "there's a special place in hell for" X, with "x" being the variable for whom or whatever the speaker is against. Typical recipients of this phrasal attribution of late are Catholic Priests, Saddam & Sons Insano-Dictators, Telecom CEOs, and Gray Davis (California only). While we intend to illustrate our disdain by this heartfelt sentiment, we really reveal a humanistic interpretation of the eternal abyss.
do we really think that something beyond eternal separation from the holy, loving, perfect God is inadequate? Doesn't a lake of fire for all apart from God imposing enough? I'm not suggesting that people be motivated by the "fire insurance" clause of salvation, but it certainly is a nice benefit? I'd hazard the opinion that most people -- and even many "christians" -- don't believe in the reality of hell. Some people believe that this -- earth, here and now -- is the hell. They cannot fathom it getting any worse than this.
If you want to imagine hell, imagine the earth, without the evidence, providence, and presence of the grace of God that is currently manifested in a variety of subtle-and-not-so-subtle intercessory ways every day on this big ball of orbiting molten encrusted rock. Just as heaven will be the realized, fulfilled faith of those belonging to God through the atoning sacrifice of the Son, hell will be the fulfilled, despairing, no-longer-able-to-deny-the-reality of one's self-imposed condemnation for rejecting the Provision for reconciliation. And those who experience that converse reality will have eternity to lament its reality.
Do I really think Clinton, Gray, the Pope, and others will go to hell? Well, not for their stupid policies. The only thing that matters is whether or not their shortcomings have been covered by the completed work of the Christ. If so, then God's grace covers everything else. If it doesn't, then they've no hope at all.
a quick question for jen
you've made it quite clear that your professional life is nothing like the fugitive
so can I call you karen sisco from now on?
so can I call you karen sisco from now on?
sung to the tune of the last goodbye
today's emergency meeting that was called a "family chat" by the powers that be was to inform us, the 400+-member family of the North American Mission Board that our family's budget for the upcoming year was about to be tightened.
Here's the issue in a nutshell: fixed costs increased by $7 million dollars, while adjusted giving scaled back by $3 million. This creates a $10 million "uh oh." But what's amazing, and evidence of good stewardship, is that our leaders have addressed this problem with a minimal loss of personnel.
Today, seven people (which seven I don't know) were told their services to the family were no longer required. Please, read my inflection that shows I am not making light of this in any way, shape, form, or function. I've spent considerable time in prayer for those families affected by this matter.
we are incredibly thankful that staff reductions aren't more widespread. When we hear of other national ministries reducing staff by one-third or one-half, the fact that we were able to meet our restricted budgetary demands with less than a 2% RIF is truly incredible.
You see, the problem is that non-profits are about two years behind the nation in economic functionality. This makes sense if you think about it, because when a recession hits, one of the first places that giving ceases (sadly) is charitable giving. And as things recover, one of the last places to experience the return to prosperity is again (sadly) charities. So even as America rebounds from the delayed-but-unmistakenly-Clintonian mini-recession, we lag in the rebound.
So here's the challenge: Do more, better, with less and fewer.
I can do all things through the Christ who gives me strength.
Here's the issue in a nutshell: fixed costs increased by $7 million dollars, while adjusted giving scaled back by $3 million. This creates a $10 million "uh oh." But what's amazing, and evidence of good stewardship, is that our leaders have addressed this problem with a minimal loss of personnel.
Today, seven people (which seven I don't know) were told their services to the family were no longer required. Please, read my inflection that shows I am not making light of this in any way, shape, form, or function. I've spent considerable time in prayer for those families affected by this matter.
we are incredibly thankful that staff reductions aren't more widespread. When we hear of other national ministries reducing staff by one-third or one-half, the fact that we were able to meet our restricted budgetary demands with less than a 2% RIF is truly incredible.
You see, the problem is that non-profits are about two years behind the nation in economic functionality. This makes sense if you think about it, because when a recession hits, one of the first places that giving ceases (sadly) is charitable giving. And as things recover, one of the last places to experience the return to prosperity is again (sadly) charities. So even as America rebounds from the delayed-but-unmistakenly-Clintonian mini-recession, we lag in the rebound.
So here's the challenge: Do more, better, with less and fewer.
I can do all things through the Christ who gives me strength.
one to grow on
the only people who achieve much are those who want knowledge so badly that they seek it while the conditions are stil unfavorable. Favorable conditions never come.
--CS Lewis
--CS Lewis
you probably already know this
but homestar runner is funny.
and i just found out his creators are from here in atlanta.
i particularly enjoy strongbad, as he responds to his email. this one, in particular, where he helps a young writer with an english paper.
and i just found out his creators are from here in atlanta.
i particularly enjoy strongbad, as he responds to his email. this one, in particular, where he helps a young writer with an english paper.
why am i smarmy?
Jen has a legitimate effort going to gather readership through a grassroots "which is better" effort.
I contributed by being a weisenheimer.
why is this always my first inclination?
am I really just crying for help? or attention? or attentive help?
to answer sincerely, I like both equally....each has its place and time.
I read a book called "The Cheese Monkeys" while in Colorado, and have moved on to "Every Tongue Got to Confess," a compendium of "Negro folk tales from the Gulf Coast" (author's words, not mine), and it is very interesting. I can't imagine either of these books in a cinematic media being done well.
two nights ago, Kelli and I watched Chicago on DVD. We enjoyed it very much. I never knew I'd be such a fan of the musical genre, given this and my total enjoyment of Moulin Rouge.
So now...go to Jen's...opine, and don't be a wise-acre.
do as I say, not as I do.
I contributed by being a weisenheimer.
why is this always my first inclination?
am I really just crying for help? or attention? or attentive help?
to answer sincerely, I like both equally....each has its place and time.
I read a book called "The Cheese Monkeys" while in Colorado, and have moved on to "Every Tongue Got to Confess," a compendium of "Negro folk tales from the Gulf Coast" (author's words, not mine), and it is very interesting. I can't imagine either of these books in a cinematic media being done well.
two nights ago, Kelli and I watched Chicago on DVD. We enjoyed it very much. I never knew I'd be such a fan of the musical genre, given this and my total enjoyment of Moulin Rouge.
So now...go to Jen's...opine, and don't be a wise-acre.
do as I say, not as I do.
tying it together, proverbially speaking...
everybody join in:
What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Ev'rything to God in prayer!
Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Ev'rything to God in prayer!
Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged,
Take it to the Lord in prayer:
Can we find a friend so faithful
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus Knows our every weakness,
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Are we weak and heavy laden,
Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Saviour, still our refuge;
Take it to the Lord in prayer:
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer;
In His arms He'll take and shield thee;
Thou wilt find a solace there.
emergency meeting in 12...11...10 minutes
building-wide gathering to have an emergency discussion on our budget.
not a great day to be a low man on the seniority totem pole.
maybe this is what the guy meant by the "power going out."
not a great day to be a low man on the seniority totem pole.
maybe this is what the guy meant by the "power going out."
how do you spell "idolatry?"
this FNC coverage of the 10 commandments icon removal, which is quoted in the context of a fine illustration over at Cox & Forkum.
it is sooo worth it to read the opening protest of the anguished, furious onlooker, since his words succintly and perfectly summarize my objections to their objections of the minority's objections (which normally, or even in another context, I would not object).
the presence or removal of the monolith won't heal what ails our country. that graven image is no more my God than is the marble drink coaster on my desk. i pray we will quit relying on icons of our design to do the work that God has ordained to accomplished through His finest design....us.
it is sooo worth it to read the opening protest of the anguished, furious onlooker, since his words succintly and perfectly summarize my objections to their objections of the minority's objections (which normally, or even in another context, I would not object).
the presence or removal of the monolith won't heal what ails our country. that graven image is no more my God than is the marble drink coaster on my desk. i pray we will quit relying on icons of our design to do the work that God has ordained to accomplished through His finest design....us.
south meets northeast
oh....if i'd just read my email, all my concerns would have been qualmed.
apparently the town of alpharetta was experiencing the Ohio syndrome yesterday and having some power supply problems, but appear to have them all resol
apparently the town of alpharetta was experiencing the Ohio syndrome yesterday and having some power supply problems, but appear to have them all resol
whuh?
walked in to the office building, slightly elated that I findly found an alternate route off exit 12 that saved me time rather than got me horribly lost. A nice man, presumably a co-worker (though I never saw his badge) held the elevator for me. I pushed "4." He pushed "3." Immediately, I was suspicious of him.
Our journey upward seemed normal enough, at first. "Good morning," he said. "Good morning," I replied. But here's where I made the mistake. I then asked, "How're ya doin' today?"
This is when we arrived to the third floor. As we settled to a stop, he took a large gulp of coffee. The door parted. And as he exited, he answered me, "well, I just hope the power stays on today."
umm...excuse me?
The shutting doors of our Otis elevator never sounded more like the dropping lid of a casket than at that exact moment.
as the tin box lurched and heaved, I was certain I saw the lights flicker. I pounded on sealed portal of what would likely become known as my sarcophagus, hollaring, "what did that mean? what's happening to me?!?! why wont you tell ---"
*ding*
"me?"
4th floor....mission education, mission opportunities, sporting goods, active wear.
--whew--
here i am 20 minutes later, my heart racin' still like a sorority bimbo hooked up to the lie detector on meet my folks. I'm still waiting for my screen to flicker and suddenly go black. I'm just glad i'm on terra firma...40 feet above terra firma.
yeahbuddy....nothin' like starting of my day with a double anxiety whipped phobiaccino with sprinkles.
what do these guys on the third floor know that they're keeping from the rest of us?
Our journey upward seemed normal enough, at first. "Good morning," he said. "Good morning," I replied. But here's where I made the mistake. I then asked, "How're ya doin' today?"
This is when we arrived to the third floor. As we settled to a stop, he took a large gulp of coffee. The door parted. And as he exited, he answered me, "well, I just hope the power stays on today."
umm...excuse me?
The shutting doors of our Otis elevator never sounded more like the dropping lid of a casket than at that exact moment.
as the tin box lurched and heaved, I was certain I saw the lights flicker. I pounded on sealed portal of what would likely become known as my sarcophagus, hollaring, "what did that mean? what's happening to me?!?! why wont you tell ---"
*ding*
"me?"
4th floor....mission education, mission opportunities, sporting goods, active wear.
--whew--
here i am 20 minutes later, my heart racin' still like a sorority bimbo hooked up to the lie detector on meet my folks. I'm still waiting for my screen to flicker and suddenly go black. I'm just glad i'm on terra firma...40 feet above terra firma.
yeahbuddy....nothin' like starting of my day with a double anxiety whipped phobiaccino with sprinkles.
what do these guys on the third floor know that they're keeping from the rest of us?
am i a dork, or what?
that is a rhetorical question, thanks for asking.
i, like you who blog, like seeing my name or my blog's name, in other people's blogrolls.
this is not what makes me a dork.
what makes me a dork (among many, many, many other things), is that I think I find even more joy in seeing Kyle's blog listed in other's blogrolls (like Irene's, among others).
i guess it pleases me to see others become interested in the life and writing of an authentic believer.
(this was not a paid commercial endorsement.)
i, like you who blog, like seeing my name or my blog's name, in other people's blogrolls.
this is not what makes me a dork.
what makes me a dork (among many, many, many other things), is that I think I find even more joy in seeing Kyle's blog listed in other's blogrolls (like Irene's, among others).
i guess it pleases me to see others become interested in the life and writing of an authentic believer.
(this was not a paid commercial endorsement.)
too weird for words
Ian used the word "indescribable." I use the words "thought provoking," "creative," and "hypotenuse" (I'm not sure if the last word is really the best word, though). Check it out. Leave your own words in the comments.
caution: graphic images included. irreverent sense of humor required.
caution: graphic images included. irreverent sense of humor required.
ordained to blog
8/27/2003
funny a decade ago the first time i heard it
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To put out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To put out burning ducks.
dear reader, what is your favorite joke?
To put out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To put out burning ducks.
dear reader, what is your favorite joke?
what i've learned as i matured
c&p humor (slightly edited)
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jerks.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better be gorgeous or muscular enough to distract others from your deficiencies.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more messed up than you think.
I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities, athletes, or politicians.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
this is why they're called "fathers of our faith"
The doorstep to the temple of wisdom is a knowledge of our own ignorance.
-- Chuck Spurgeon
A true love of God must begin with a delight in his holiness, and not with a delight in any other attribute; for no other attribute is truly lovely without this.
--Jonnie Edwards
-- Chuck Spurgeon
A true love of God must begin with a delight in his holiness, and not with a delight in any other attribute; for no other attribute is truly lovely without this.
--Jonnie Edwards
sung to the tune of he aint heavy...
he's my editor.
I had to request my first re-write from a writer today. Its not that the writing was bad, it just wasn't great. I'm finally starting to gain a sense of our work's voice. Until now, I'd be more inclined to just re-write what i didn't like. But that doesn't help the writer find our voice.
and as a writer, i think i'd be a little offended.
but i had to write my first re-write request, and i agonized over it. yessir, i'm a hardened editor now. do you think it was a little weak of me to add "please don't hate me," in the closing?
I had to request my first re-write from a writer today. Its not that the writing was bad, it just wasn't great. I'm finally starting to gain a sense of our work's voice. Until now, I'd be more inclined to just re-write what i didn't like. But that doesn't help the writer find our voice.
and as a writer, i think i'd be a little offended.
but i had to write my first re-write request, and i agonized over it. yessir, i'm a hardened editor now. do you think it was a little weak of me to add "please don't hate me," in the closing?
sunnie weathers got a promotion
she's now a weather pixie in the LA market.
she's been replaced by Stormie Gulfstream, who was hired for her strong meteorological reporting skills.
Stormie must be going for ratings, because she was bikini-clad the last time I checked my page.
As long as she doesn't show up on a Weather Pixie Girls Gone Wild infomercial, she's got a job.
she's been replaced by Stormie Gulfstream, who was hired for her strong meteorological reporting skills.
Stormie must be going for ratings, because she was bikini-clad the last time I checked my page.
As long as she doesn't show up on a Weather Pixie Girls Gone Wild infomercial, she's got a job.
household help from heloise's half-brother herman
this was recently passed along into my inbox at work:
so now you know.
It's a fact…..
"Old Maids" is a term for kernels that fail to pop and are often found at the bottom of the popcorn bowl. Old maids are too dry to have any pop left in them.
You can, however, rejuvenate old maids by filling a one-quart jar three quarters full of popcorn and add one tablespoon of water. Cover the jar with an airtight lid and give it a few good shakes every few minutes until the popcorn has absorbed all the water. Store the jar in a cool place. In two or three days you can test pop a batch of kernels. If you still get old maids, add a few more drops of water to the jar, shake it, and let it sit for a few more days.
so now you know.
good stuff: the temptation of jesus & God's sense of humor
two semi-unrelated topics in one post, at Work in Progress, provided through a "heads up" by one hand clapping
lyrically begging the question
who is right?
do we all need the human touch? is it lost? is it necessary?
indeed, these are the questions that plague men's souls.
do we all need the human touch? is it lost? is it necessary?
indeed, these are the questions that plague men's souls.
nina simone: perhaps we've lost it
No one seems to care as much
No time to smile, laugh or cry as much
Have we lost the touch that means so much
Have we lost the human touch
No one wants to be alone
To walk or talk and sleep and weep alone
Have we lost the touch that does so much
Have we lost the human touch
Touch me now and let me know
Hold me tight so I can go
Through this misery unafraid
And really knowin' what life is all about
No one wants to live alone
Who wants to smile, laugh or cry alone
Have we lost the touch that means so much
Have we lost the human touch
Yes, yes, yes
No time to smile, laugh or cry as much
Have we lost the touch that means so much
Have we lost the human touch
No one wants to be alone
To walk or talk and sleep and weep alone
Have we lost the touch that does so much
Have we lost the human touch
Touch me now and let me know
Hold me tight so I can go
Through this misery unafraid
And really knowin' what life is all about
No one wants to live alone
Who wants to smile, laugh or cry alone
Have we lost the touch that means so much
Have we lost the human touch
Yes, yes, yes
Gundam X: even the Anime world seeks it
Can I find the words to tell you
How I live between the walls of steel and stone
How I close my eyes to find some kind of rapture
In a word where you can feel so all alone
Inside I'm full of light and laughter
There's a flame that burns in me I need a way to set it free
When you find love in your heart
You can believe from the start
Dreams they come true
It all comes to you, oh all at once if you believe in human touch
I see wanting in your eyes and I wonder will I always think of you
Do we simply find ourselves awakening
As angels touched the heartstrings of our souls
We can find a way to break the madness
Take my hand and come with me to a place where we can feel
When you find love in your heart the light in your eye is a star
Change that you feel helps you to heal from all the rest if you believe in human touch
Tell me that your love will live forever
Take your hand and touch my face oh, the warmth of your sweet embrace
When you find love in your heart nothing can tear it apart
Not man or steel
Nothing is real except for love
If you believe in human touch
If you believe in human touch
How I live between the walls of steel and stone
How I close my eyes to find some kind of rapture
In a word where you can feel so all alone
Inside I'm full of light and laughter
There's a flame that burns in me I need a way to set it free
When you find love in your heart
You can believe from the start
Dreams they come true
It all comes to you, oh all at once if you believe in human touch
I see wanting in your eyes and I wonder will I always think of you
Do we simply find ourselves awakening
As angels touched the heartstrings of our souls
We can find a way to break the madness
Take my hand and come with me to a place where we can feel
When you find love in your heart the light in your eye is a star
Change that you feel helps you to heal from all the rest if you believe in human touch
Tell me that your love will live forever
Take your hand and touch my face oh, the warmth of your sweet embrace
When you find love in your heart nothing can tear it apart
Not man or steel
Nothing is real except for love
If you believe in human touch
If you believe in human touch
shoeless joe jackson: like sprint®, its the clear alternative
Some say the world is spinning faster
Some say it isn't fast enough
Some people say they've got the answer
and some are scared to say they can't keep up
I read the paper but it still isn't clear
The bombs are falling but I'm still here
I know all the figures and I know all the facts
But all I can do is keep trying . . . .
To look for the Human Touch
Life is hard when you've got nothing
Life can be hard when you've got too much
Sometimes I wonder what's the difference
It's only better with someone to touch
I got the telephone stuck to my ear
I keep yelling but you don't hear
In all the universe I'm just a speck of dust
But all I can do is keep trying . . . .
To give you the Human Touch
You know we're nothing in the scheme of things
Just microchips in big machines
And the world is spinning round and round
but I know that we can slow it down
And I know that I can make you see
I'm on the side of you and me
and all I want to do
listen to me . . .
Is give you . . . give you
Give you the Human Touch
Some say it isn't fast enough
Some people say they've got the answer
and some are scared to say they can't keep up
I read the paper but it still isn't clear
The bombs are falling but I'm still here
I know all the figures and I know all the facts
But all I can do is keep trying . . . .
To look for the Human Touch
Life is hard when you've got nothing
Life can be hard when you've got too much
Sometimes I wonder what's the difference
It's only better with someone to touch
I got the telephone stuck to my ear
I keep yelling but you don't hear
In all the universe I'm just a speck of dust
But all I can do is keep trying . . . .
To give you the Human Touch
You know we're nothing in the scheme of things
Just microchips in big machines
And the world is spinning round and round
but I know that we can slow it down
And I know that I can make you see
I'm on the side of you and me
and all I want to do
listen to me . . .
Is give you . . . give you
Give you the Human Touch
the boss: just a little will do
You and me we were the pretenders
We let it all slip away
In the end what you don't surrender
Well the world just strips away
Girl, ain't no kindness in the face of strangers
Ain't gonna find no miracles here
Well you can wait on your blesses my darlin'
But I got a deal for you right here
I ain't lookin' for praise or pity
I ain't comin' 'round searchin' for a crutch
I just want someone to talk to
And a little of that Human Touch
Just a little of that Human Touch
Ain't no mercy on the streets of this town
Ain't no bread from heavenly skies
Ain't nobody drawin' wine from this blood
It's just you and me tonight
Tell me, in a world without pity
Do you think what I'm askin's too much
I just want something to hold on to
And a little of that Human Touch
Just a little of that Human Touch
Oh girl that feeling of safety you prize
Well it comes at a hard hard price
You can't shut off the risk and the pain
Without losin' the love that remains
We're all riders on this train
So you've been broken and you've been hurt
Show me somebody who ain't
Yeah, I know I ain't nobody's bargain
But, hell, a little touchup
and a little paint...
You might need somethin' to hold on to
When all the answers, they don't amount to much
Somebody that you could just to talk to
And a little of that Human Touch
Baby, in a world without pity
Do you think what I'm askin's too much
I just want to feel you in my arms
Share a little of that Human Touch
Feel a little of that Human Touch
Give me a little of that Human Touch
We let it all slip away
In the end what you don't surrender
Well the world just strips away
Girl, ain't no kindness in the face of strangers
Ain't gonna find no miracles here
Well you can wait on your blesses my darlin'
But I got a deal for you right here
I ain't lookin' for praise or pity
I ain't comin' 'round searchin' for a crutch
I just want someone to talk to
And a little of that Human Touch
Just a little of that Human Touch
Ain't no mercy on the streets of this town
Ain't no bread from heavenly skies
Ain't nobody drawin' wine from this blood
It's just you and me tonight
Tell me, in a world without pity
Do you think what I'm askin's too much
I just want something to hold on to
And a little of that Human Touch
Just a little of that Human Touch
Oh girl that feeling of safety you prize
Well it comes at a hard hard price
You can't shut off the risk and the pain
Without losin' the love that remains
We're all riders on this train
So you've been broken and you've been hurt
Show me somebody who ain't
Yeah, I know I ain't nobody's bargain
But, hell, a little touchup
and a little paint...
You might need somethin' to hold on to
When all the answers, they don't amount to much
Somebody that you could just to talk to
And a little of that Human Touch
Baby, in a world without pity
Do you think what I'm askin's too much
I just want to feel you in my arms
Share a little of that Human Touch
Feel a little of that Human Touch
Give me a little of that Human Touch
alanis morissette: there's something more
Give me what I'm askin' for
Stop bringin' me down or I'll slam the door
You're getting out of line with the Beverly Boys
You start makin' the moves they start makin' The noise
You know you're not getting lucky
Livin' the life because you're movin' to
The jungle and paying the price
You're livin' right along with the New Brady Bunch
Have your people call my people and let's do lunch
Reaction to the actin there's more to me
Than human flesh I've had enough distractions I need some tenderness
CHORUS:
Human Touch I gotta know it's real
I'm tired of people sellin' their sex appeal
Human Touch I need human love
No imitations of oh baby
A bird in the busy is worth two in
The street - you know the kind of people
Never want to meet you're sitting really
Pretty in your swimming pool with your
Rock 'n roll tan you keep thinkin' you're Cool
You know you can't reach Jesus on your
Portable phone he ain't speakin' to the people
In their Hollywood homes with a toot
In your snoot and your loot to boot
You don't even give a hoot about the Minds you pollute
Lookin' for deceptions there's more to me
Than human flesh I'm finding new
Directions I need some tenderness!
CHORUS
I'm lookin' for the real thing there's more
To me than human flesh I'm gonna
Stop at nothin'
CHORUS
Stop bringin' me down or I'll slam the door
You're getting out of line with the Beverly Boys
You start makin' the moves they start makin' The noise
You know you're not getting lucky
Livin' the life because you're movin' to
The jungle and paying the price
You're livin' right along with the New Brady Bunch
Have your people call my people and let's do lunch
Reaction to the actin there's more to me
Than human flesh I've had enough distractions I need some tenderness
CHORUS:
Human Touch I gotta know it's real
I'm tired of people sellin' their sex appeal
Human Touch I need human love
No imitations of oh baby
A bird in the busy is worth two in
The street - you know the kind of people
Never want to meet you're sitting really
Pretty in your swimming pool with your
Rock 'n roll tan you keep thinkin' you're Cool
You know you can't reach Jesus on your
Portable phone he ain't speakin' to the people
In their Hollywood homes with a toot
In your snoot and your loot to boot
You don't even give a hoot about the Minds you pollute
Lookin' for deceptions there's more to me
Than human flesh I'm finding new
Directions I need some tenderness!
CHORUS
I'm lookin' for the real thing there's more
To me than human flesh I'm gonna
Stop at nothin'
CHORUS
rick springfield: we all need it
Everybody's talking to computers, they're all dancing to a drum machine
I know I'm living on the outside
Scared of getting caught between
I'm so cool and calculated alone in the modern world - uh huh
But Sally has a hard time holding back
The alley to her heart is a beaten track
She's got the love monkey riding on her back
You want love I got it, come on girl
CHORUS
We all need the human touch
We all need the human touch
I need it, the human touch
We all need the human touch
We all need it, and I need it too!
You know, I got my walls, Sally calls them prison cells
Sometimes I need protection, I've got the chains
I got the warning bells
I sit so snug and isolated alone in the modern world - uh huh
But Sally has a hard time holding back
The alley to her heart is a beaten track
She's never out of love, yeah she's got the knack
You've got love I want it, come on girl
CHORUS
Human touch (4x)
I'm so scared and isolated in the modern world
We all need
We all need the human touch (3x)
I need it the human touch
We all need the human touch
I need it the human touch
We all need it, and I need it too!
Human touch...Human touch...Human touch...Human touch...Human touch
sung to the tune of getting to know you
as i astutely observe the trends of the blogosphere, I see the developing pattern of people interviewing others. I want to interview some of you, but I want you to tell me if you want to be interviewed. This will allow me to ask questions (5) that will be tailored to you, rather than generic ones that don't mean anything to anybody.
so, if you're willing...shoot me a note saying so.
so, if you're willing...shoot me a note saying so.
next up to the plate....babe ruth's mom eating apple pie
reiterating the obvious....
Threat rating: zero. Excellent work - you
demonstrate all the qualities of patriotism
that will make America even greater under Bush.
USA no.1!!!
What threat to the Bush administration are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Threat rating: zero. Excellent work - you
demonstrate all the qualities of patriotism
that will make America even greater under Bush.
USA no.1!!!
What threat to the Bush administration are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
my 2 on 1's stand for the 10
my comments on the Roy Moore/10 commandments embroglio, offered because I know the world is waiting to hear what I have to say about this, and also because one shouldn't pass on the opportunity to use the word embroglio when such a chance arises. and truth be known, little of what I have to say is original, but at least you'll now know with whom I agree and whom I do not.
1. the feds messed up. they have no constitutional jurisdiction in the matter. the federal mandate to remove the monument is not based upon law. period. accordingly the Supreme Court was a Supreme Wuss for not resolving this issue.
2. this is a state issue. Roy Boy was elected as a 10 commandments guy, for his state. he did represent the majority with his action, and by law, he's not under obligation to accomodate the minority, so long as he isn't prejudiced against them.
3. I'm not a lawyer, but I do watch a lot of Matlock.
4. Judge Moore erred when he made this a religious issue. he could have won the case on its legal merits, but seems to be pursuing living martyrdom by ponying on down the religious route. whether or not this is valiant or Quixotic remains to be seen.
5. He is not more of a Christian or better of a Christian for fighting this battle in the way he has chosen. There was nothing preventing him living a visible, vocal witness both behind and away from the bench without surreptitiously installing the monolithic icon to monotheism. I personally would have rather have had him been a living tableau to God's law & grace than have him go about things the way he is, which is causing people to erroneously think the real issue is about the presence and reverence (worship?) of an iconic representation of the Judeo-Christian heritage for our legal foundations.
6. while i may not be a real lawyer, I am a real christ-follower. not a professional, mind you, but a follower-in-training. and while I don't agree with all his tactics, I applaud Judge Moore for his passion and unwillingness to compromise his convictions.
7. the idealist in me agrees with the judge whole-heartedly. But I'm not an ideal idealist. The pragmatist in me understands that some compromises are agreeable as long as certain ideals are not compromised in the process. Whether that makes me a pragmatic idealist or an idealistic pragmatist I'm really not sure. But if there's one thing you can count on, its that Matlock will always figure out who done it, so you better not even try.
1. the feds messed up. they have no constitutional jurisdiction in the matter. the federal mandate to remove the monument is not based upon law. period. accordingly the Supreme Court was a Supreme Wuss for not resolving this issue.
2. this is a state issue. Roy Boy was elected as a 10 commandments guy, for his state. he did represent the majority with his action, and by law, he's not under obligation to accomodate the minority, so long as he isn't prejudiced against them.
3. I'm not a lawyer, but I do watch a lot of Matlock.
4. Judge Moore erred when he made this a religious issue. he could have won the case on its legal merits, but seems to be pursuing living martyrdom by ponying on down the religious route. whether or not this is valiant or Quixotic remains to be seen.
5. He is not more of a Christian or better of a Christian for fighting this battle in the way he has chosen. There was nothing preventing him living a visible, vocal witness both behind and away from the bench without surreptitiously installing the monolithic icon to monotheism. I personally would have rather have had him been a living tableau to God's law & grace than have him go about things the way he is, which is causing people to erroneously think the real issue is about the presence and reverence (worship?) of an iconic representation of the Judeo-Christian heritage for our legal foundations.
6. while i may not be a real lawyer, I am a real christ-follower. not a professional, mind you, but a follower-in-training. and while I don't agree with all his tactics, I applaud Judge Moore for his passion and unwillingness to compromise his convictions.
7. the idealist in me agrees with the judge whole-heartedly. But I'm not an ideal idealist. The pragmatist in me understands that some compromises are agreeable as long as certain ideals are not compromised in the process. Whether that makes me a pragmatic idealist or an idealistic pragmatist I'm really not sure. But if there's one thing you can count on, its that Matlock will always figure out who done it, so you better not even try.
MMoS Winner #1
new feature (and like many of my other features, who knows how long it will last)....
Modern Miracles of Science!
I'll try to add to this weekly, but will probably only add to it weakly.
But starting off with a bang, I give you.....
the spork
the handy utensil that unites the scooping capabilities of the spoon with the sticking skills of the fork. Offered at all the finest Taco Bells around the country (and in our NAMB cafeteria, I might add), the spork reduces table space while maximizing dining efficiency. Rumored to have been potentially named "the foon" before a threatened lawsuit by Roger "the Big Red Buffoon" Clinton changed the marketers' course of action, the spork gained fame for being equally adept at piling on the green peas within its bowl-shaped receptacle as well as for its ability to stab the one recalcitrant pea that seems to always roll evasively around the plate.
Though unfortunately relegated to the plastic class of disposable utensils, the spork remains atop the list of useful etiquette implements.
Spork, we salute you!
Modern Miracles of Science!
I'll try to add to this weekly, but will probably only add to it weakly.
But starting off with a bang, I give you.....
the handy utensil that unites the scooping capabilities of the spoon with the sticking skills of the fork. Offered at all the finest Taco Bells around the country (and in our NAMB cafeteria, I might add), the spork reduces table space while maximizing dining efficiency. Rumored to have been potentially named "the foon" before a threatened lawsuit by Roger "the Big Red Buffoon" Clinton changed the marketers' course of action, the spork gained fame for being equally adept at piling on the green peas within its bowl-shaped receptacle as well as for its ability to stab the one recalcitrant pea that seems to always roll evasively around the plate.
Though unfortunately relegated to the plastic class of disposable utensils, the spork remains atop the list of useful etiquette implements.
Spork, we salute you!
a pet peeve
dartbox posts (no permalinks...it under "dogs don't savor food") the observation that....well, dogs don't savor food.
this astute declaration compells me to ask why do we even flavor dog food anyway? I've grown up with many, many dogs. And many, many times, I've seen dogs stop to dine on a cow patty, only to hurl it up later and then....yep....chow down once more. So if is what a canine is willing to do, why are we so worried if Fido is getting Steak Tartar kibble or Chicken Bisque Canned Cuisine? It wouldn't matter if you packaged it up as Balls O' Sawdust or Glue Factory Leftovers in a Can, I'd hazard the guess that Lassie would gulp it down just the same, without even pausing to savor the flavor.
And how do we know that just because Alpo calls it "Chicken Flavor," it really is chicken flavor? If you believe this, you're probably the same people who invested in WorldCom or believed the tobacco executives when they said nicotine wasn't addictive. But really, who's going to put Kibbles-n-Bits to the taste test? I'm afraid I'm just going to have to take their word for it. But some of these things are going a little too far...like the dog who thinks he smells bacon, goes into a bacon-jonesing frenzy, and then despairingly laments the fact that he can't read....that dog doesn't need bacon, he needs Zoloft.
and have you ever noticed that Combos look scarily similar to puppy snacks?
It is for this reason that I refrain from indulging. That, and if i do indulge, I find myself attempting to scratch that persistent itch behind my ear....with my foot.
one more thing...if you have a dog that you'd classify as "finicky," i just want to gently tell you that your pooch has finally succeeded in getting you to be well trained. I say if Old Roy isn't good enough for Spot, then he can forage for his own supper. It won't take too many missed meals before the family pet decides the woody-but-nourishing dry compound is an acceptable alternative to his previously-elitist dining requirements.
this astute declaration compells me to ask why do we even flavor dog food anyway? I've grown up with many, many dogs. And many, many times, I've seen dogs stop to dine on a cow patty, only to hurl it up later and then....yep....chow down once more. So if is what a canine is willing to do, why are we so worried if Fido is getting Steak Tartar kibble or Chicken Bisque Canned Cuisine? It wouldn't matter if you packaged it up as Balls O' Sawdust or Glue Factory Leftovers in a Can, I'd hazard the guess that Lassie would gulp it down just the same, without even pausing to savor the flavor.
And how do we know that just because Alpo calls it "Chicken Flavor," it really is chicken flavor? If you believe this, you're probably the same people who invested in WorldCom or believed the tobacco executives when they said nicotine wasn't addictive. But really, who's going to put Kibbles-n-Bits to the taste test? I'm afraid I'm just going to have to take their word for it. But some of these things are going a little too far...like the dog who thinks he smells bacon, goes into a bacon-jonesing frenzy, and then despairingly laments the fact that he can't read....that dog doesn't need bacon, he needs Zoloft.
and have you ever noticed that Combos look scarily similar to puppy snacks?
It is for this reason that I refrain from indulging. That, and if i do indulge, I find myself attempting to scratch that persistent itch behind my ear....with my foot.
one more thing...if you have a dog that you'd classify as "finicky," i just want to gently tell you that your pooch has finally succeeded in getting you to be well trained. I say if Old Roy isn't good enough for Spot, then he can forage for his own supper. It won't take too many missed meals before the family pet decides the woody-but-nourishing dry compound is an acceptable alternative to his previously-elitist dining requirements.
the right to write right, right? (cont.)
I'm big on not ending a sentence in a preposition.
but i'm just as much an advocate for not going to nauseating lengths to avoid prepositional challenges.
for example, one may be tempted to write:
but writer understands this is prepositionally problematic, so writer attempts to solve the dilemma by puking out something like the following text:
In this case -- which is alarmingly prevelant, I'm discovering -- free yourself from the shackles of the grammatical law. I am here as an evangelist of creative grace. Don't just reorganize! Re-word altogether! My suggestion:
thank you for your patience in allowing me this time of instruction. No prepositional phrases were harmed in the construction of this lesson.
but i'm just as much an advocate for not going to nauseating lengths to avoid prepositional challenges.
for example, one may be tempted to write:
I didn't want to go out. I was really fed up. I decided to stay in. But I didn't know who to talk to
but writer understands this is prepositionally problematic, so writer attempts to solve the dilemma by puking out something like the following text:
Out is where I didn't want to go. Really fed up with him I was. In is where I decided to stay. But with whom I didn't know to talk.
In this case -- which is alarmingly prevelant, I'm discovering -- free yourself from the shackles of the grammatical law. I am here as an evangelist of creative grace. Don't just reorganize! Re-word altogether! My suggestion:
I didn't want to go because I'd had enough. Even though I didn't know who to talk to, I decided to stay in and work on sentence structure.
thank you for your patience in allowing me this time of instruction. No prepositional phrases were harmed in the construction of this lesson.
8/26/2003
SSOA exhibit A
new feature: a compilation of evidence revealing the conclusive case of the Sad State of America. this is not a geographical reference, but a cultural one.
so today, exhibit A comes from the cover of the latest issue of Rolling Stone magazine:
the web page (and cover) of course come with the sexualized images of the twin adolescents. (note: this information is not intended to entice you. if it does, you are part of the problem)
just to remind you....
these two girls have yet to reach the age of eighteen.
so today, exhibit A comes from the cover of the latest issue of Rolling Stone magazine:
The 0lsen twins: America's Favorite Fantasy!
the web page (and cover) of course come with the sexualized images of the twin adolescents. (note: this information is not intended to entice you. if it does, you are part of the problem)
just to remind you....
these two girls have yet to reach the age of eighteen.
not an original rant...but it's my turn
i'm having a hard time appreciating aging rockers.
gene simmons
steven tyler
david lee roth
mick jagger
cher (just making sure you're awake)
i think i've figured out why, too.
gene simmons was born the same year as my dad.
mick jagger is roughly the same age as my father-in-law.
trying to imagine my pop putting on the elevator shoes and face paint to cavort around the stage crooning, "I...want to rock-n-roll all night....and party ev-er-y day!" or to think of my dadinlaw strutting with a mic stand belching out the gravelly lyrics to Brown Sugar while a living corpse strums along behind stage left....well, is just shameful.
while the rest of the world realizes that all things (good, bad, and otherwise) must at some point come to an end, these guys are planning next year's tour, sponsored by Depends and Super Polident.
David Lee Roth just isn't as cool when you can see his truss pokin' out of his spandex waistline.
and i know that they're just providing a service that is meeting a demand. i just can't figure out why we're demanding this product.
i, like jen & countless others, love the 70s. I am a child of the 80s. My high school yearbook says my favorite songs were Van Halen's Hot for Teacher and Motley Crue's Kick Start my Heart. But when Vince Neil was on that horrible reality series that should have been called 'Please Shoot me and Put me out of my Misery,' he moved inexoribly from "cool" to "uncool." One cannot partner with Emmanuel Stewart and Corey Feldman and not expect this to happen. Our "Rockers on Rockers" need to understand that what made them cool was that in their original presentation, they embodied all that encapsulated the joy and frivolity of youthful rebellion. When lyrics that were so meaningful two decades ago are harmonized today on a backdrop of a well-publicized colonoscopy, that image is shattered.
and since I'm obviously not terribly fond of reunion tours, this leaves me only with remakes and tribute albums, both of which are preferable alternatives to me.
for example, over the weekend I heard a Boys of Summer remake done by The Ataris. Their modern interpretation of Henley's solid tune allowed me to revisit that which was relevant in my life when I first heard it, without me having to sympathize that the original performer was now being spoon-fed his lunch in an assisted living center.
(note: I know this isn't the case with Don Henly, so I didn't mean to alarm you if you my previous exaggeration misled you).
that said, upon hearing that Huey Lewis & the News would soon be coming to Atlanta, I wondered if I'd be able to get tickets.
gene simmons
steven tyler
david lee roth
mick jagger
cher (just making sure you're awake)
i think i've figured out why, too.
gene simmons was born the same year as my dad.
mick jagger is roughly the same age as my father-in-law.
trying to imagine my pop putting on the elevator shoes and face paint to cavort around the stage crooning, "I...want to rock-n-roll all night....and party ev-er-y day!" or to think of my dadinlaw strutting with a mic stand belching out the gravelly lyrics to Brown Sugar while a living corpse strums along behind stage left....well, is just shameful.
while the rest of the world realizes that all things (good, bad, and otherwise) must at some point come to an end, these guys are planning next year's tour, sponsored by Depends and Super Polident.
David Lee Roth just isn't as cool when you can see his truss pokin' out of his spandex waistline.
and i know that they're just providing a service that is meeting a demand. i just can't figure out why we're demanding this product.
i, like jen & countless others, love the 70s. I am a child of the 80s. My high school yearbook says my favorite songs were Van Halen's Hot for Teacher and Motley Crue's Kick Start my Heart. But when Vince Neil was on that horrible reality series that should have been called 'Please Shoot me and Put me out of my Misery,' he moved inexoribly from "cool" to "uncool." One cannot partner with Emmanuel Stewart and Corey Feldman and not expect this to happen. Our "Rockers on Rockers" need to understand that what made them cool was that in their original presentation, they embodied all that encapsulated the joy and frivolity of youthful rebellion. When lyrics that were so meaningful two decades ago are harmonized today on a backdrop of a well-publicized colonoscopy, that image is shattered.
and since I'm obviously not terribly fond of reunion tours, this leaves me only with remakes and tribute albums, both of which are preferable alternatives to me.
for example, over the weekend I heard a Boys of Summer remake done by The Ataris. Their modern interpretation of Henley's solid tune allowed me to revisit that which was relevant in my life when I first heard it, without me having to sympathize that the original performer was now being spoon-fed his lunch in an assisted living center.
(note: I know this isn't the case with Don Henly, so I didn't mean to alarm you if you my previous exaggeration misled you).
that said, upon hearing that Huey Lewis & the News would soon be coming to Atlanta, I wondered if I'd be able to get tickets.
If this is it
Please let me know
If this ain't love you'd better let me know
If this is it
I want to know
If this ain't love baby, just say so
the big bang you just heard is the sound of me smacking you upside the head
if, after watching this, you still believe that life and the universe all happened by chance, you're an idiot.
link shamelessly reproduced from the brog blogger.
link shamelessly reproduced from the brog blogger.
and my tivo thinks i'm gay
for some reason, my advertising over my blog is for "marriage savers" and "unhappily married men."
why is this?
excuse me while I correct the spiders' misunderstanding.
i love my wife.
i love my children.
i love my family.
i am happily married.
i am a blessed man.
and just in case there is any confusion over this entry's title.
i am oriented and pursuant to the heterosexual lifestyle.
thank you.
you may return to your regular blogramming.
why is this?
excuse me while I correct the spiders' misunderstanding.
i love my wife.
i love my children.
i love my family.
i am happily married.
i am a blessed man.
and just in case there is any confusion over this entry's title.
i am oriented and pursuant to the heterosexual lifestyle.
thank you.
you may return to your regular blogramming.
next, on geraldo....
i'm thinking tony's a pretty clever marketer of his own blog.
hyping a name change that results in the brilliant presentation....
...of the exact same name.
surely, this is akin to mr. rivera's shocking expose of the contents of al capone's vault.
it was al capone wasn't it?
or jimmy hoffa's meat locker. i can never remember.
i can't give him too hard of a time, though, because after all, i voted like eighteen times. and even voted for the winner.
which i repeat....is exactly the same name as it was before!
excuse me, while i go remove the fish hooks from my bottom lip.
hyping a name change that results in the brilliant presentation....
...of the exact same name.
surely, this is akin to mr. rivera's shocking expose of the contents of al capone's vault.
it was al capone wasn't it?
or jimmy hoffa's meat locker. i can never remember.
i can't give him too hard of a time, though, because after all, i voted like eighteen times. and even voted for the winner.
which i repeat....is exactly the same name as it was before!
excuse me, while i go remove the fish hooks from my bottom lip.
churchspeak 101
whilst at the Whatchamacallit conference in denver over the past weekend, i became aware that my lips had become a bit parched from the arid climate of the highly elevated Mile High City.
licking my lips only seemed to exacerbate the problem.
but as I walked through the church's gift store, i noticed some chap stickTM for sale. It was priced at $2. I would have paid three times that, and couldn't have been more appreciative if Suzee Chaffee herself were selling it to me.
I paid the fee to the very nice person behind the counter and said, "I thank you. and my lips thank you."
waitaminnit. that didn't come out quite like i intended.
so, i made an akward moment only slightly worse by fumbling out, "uhhh...what i meant to say was....well...not my lips...but....ummm...."
to this, the clerk smiled and replied, "hey, it's okay, I understand. I was going to say something smart alice but changed my mind."
smart alice.
this is not a typo.
and I didn't mishear.
for those of you struggling to understand, let me offer a bit of assistance:
smart alice - adj. a term born when a speaker attempts to use a clever church-appropriate term, but finds him or herself assaulted by the invading presence of an all-too-familiar, related and more-utilized clever church-inappropriate term.
smart alice.
the clerk's use of this term was actually quite gracious, for we both understood immediately the clumsiness of "smart alice" which ameliorated my own Mr. Van Dyke-over-the-ottoman words of appreciation.
we parted ways never to speak of this encounter again.
except for me...now....to all of the internet.
licking my lips only seemed to exacerbate the problem.
but as I walked through the church's gift store, i noticed some chap stickTM for sale. It was priced at $2. I would have paid three times that, and couldn't have been more appreciative if Suzee Chaffee herself were selling it to me.
I paid the fee to the very nice person behind the counter and said, "I thank you. and my lips thank you."
waitaminnit. that didn't come out quite like i intended.
so, i made an akward moment only slightly worse by fumbling out, "uhhh...what i meant to say was....well...not my lips...but....ummm...."
to this, the clerk smiled and replied, "hey, it's okay, I understand. I was going to say something smart alice but changed my mind."
smart alice.
this is not a typo.
and I didn't mishear.
for those of you struggling to understand, let me offer a bit of assistance:
smart alice - adj. a term born when a speaker attempts to use a clever church-appropriate term, but finds him or herself assaulted by the invading presence of an all-too-familiar, related and more-utilized clever church-inappropriate term.
smart alice.
the clerk's use of this term was actually quite gracious, for we both understood immediately the clumsiness of "smart alice" which ameliorated my own Mr. Van Dyke-over-the-ottoman words of appreciation.
we parted ways never to speak of this encounter again.
except for me...now....to all of the internet.
pass the orajel
two days ago, I felt something lodged behind my upper left molar.
i couldn't remember eating something that would have been inclined to wedge itself so firmly, yet I was unable to disengage it using my tongue or a fingernail.
i did manage to prove that i cannot fit my hand into my mouth.
a toothpick didn't work, either. I even tried to break one into half so I could really jam it up there, almost like a lever.
all this managed to do was to make my gumline a tender, pulpy mess and fill my mouth with the salty taste of my own blood.
turns out that "the little morsel that could" was not a morsel at all.
it was a wisdom tooth.
ironically, upon discovering this, I felt surprisingly stupid.
this means i'm teething.
several years ago, I had my three other wisdom teeth removed surgically by a nice dentist with a big needle filled with numbing agent, an oversized plumber's wrench, and a drool cup. he told me confidently that there was no x-ray evidence that my upper left jaw was even growing a 4th tooth.
i'm curious to know the statute of limitations on dental negligence.
unless one of you gives me a good reason to go get this late-breaking cud-cutter extracted from my yaptrap, I'm thinking God must be giving it to me for a reason, and i'm inclined to let it be.
but i confess, i am a bit disconcerted that my mouth will be off-balance by one tooth.
i couldn't remember eating something that would have been inclined to wedge itself so firmly, yet I was unable to disengage it using my tongue or a fingernail.
i did manage to prove that i cannot fit my hand into my mouth.
a toothpick didn't work, either. I even tried to break one into half so I could really jam it up there, almost like a lever.
all this managed to do was to make my gumline a tender, pulpy mess and fill my mouth with the salty taste of my own blood.
turns out that "the little morsel that could" was not a morsel at all.
it was a wisdom tooth.
ironically, upon discovering this, I felt surprisingly stupid.
this means i'm teething.
several years ago, I had my three other wisdom teeth removed surgically by a nice dentist with a big needle filled with numbing agent, an oversized plumber's wrench, and a drool cup. he told me confidently that there was no x-ray evidence that my upper left jaw was even growing a 4th tooth.
i'm curious to know the statute of limitations on dental negligence.
unless one of you gives me a good reason to go get this late-breaking cud-cutter extracted from my yaptrap, I'm thinking God must be giving it to me for a reason, and i'm inclined to let it be.
but i confess, i am a bit disconcerted that my mouth will be off-balance by one tooth.
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